Aftermath

Aftermath

By Aleda Gildeth

Disclaimer: You know they’re not mine because the episode probably won’t happen like this at all.
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst, Romance
Spoilers : Strong Spoilers for "Damage." Berman's announcement in The Communicator about the cause of T'Pol's emotional behavior in Season 3. The producers went off the deep end with this one! *(see below)
Author’s Note: I wrote this on Friday night, before I had a chance to see anyone else’s. I purposely haven’t read the others written by other authors yet, so if there’s any parallels in here to anyone else’s fic (other than our favorite couple getting together, which I imagine is in all of them), I swear it’s a coincidence.

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From his command chair in the center of the bridge, Captain Archer glanced at his first officer out of the corner of his eye. She sat at her station, as straight-backed as ever, her eyes glued to the screen in front of her.

Archer wondered briefly if there were actually any readings on the screen, or if she was just pressing buttons to look busy so she'd have an excuse not to meet eyes with anyone.

He felt embarrassed for her. It was bad enough that she had broken down in front of the entire bridge crew, that it had taken a week for her to get over the worst of the withdrawal, that the entire ship, during her notable absence, had found out about her addiction to Trellium-D. He couldn't imagine what it felt like to sit in that chair now, having to face everyone.

Well, not quite everyone. Trip was down in Engineering.

It was Trip who had been the first to realize there was something wrong. He'd tried to tell Archer, but couldn't convince him to order T'Pol to undergo a physical when she'd refused to do so voluntarily, claiming his concerns to be baseless. Trip had almost begged her, the captain remembered, to go to sickbay, to tell him what was wrong. She'd continued to say it was nothing and turn it around on him.

He should have known something was wrong when he had seen the desperate worry on the engineer's face as she'd left the ready room.

It had been Trip's arms into which she'd finally collapsed, weeping, when everyone else had been too shocked to touch her. He'd taken her to sickbay, the stunned captain following mutely behind, where after a couple scans revealing the Trellium-D in her system she had confessed to her addiction. No sooner had the words left her mouth than Trip had gone and gathered all the Trellium-D from storage and her quarters and beamed it out into space.

How had Trip known something was wrong? Archer had wondered. How had he known when he himself had seen nothing?

It was the look on Trip's face as T'Pol had admitted everything that kept playing through Archer's mind. He had looked pained, hurting... and hurt. He hadn't returned to sickbay.

It didn't take long for Archer to find out why. Within two days he'd heard the stories about the neuropressure, the mysterious hours spent with one another at night, the rumored romantic involvement. When he'd asked, Malcolm had dutifully confirmed all but the last.

When pressed further, the security chief hadn't been able to deny it either, though, and Archer hadn't been able to deny to himself the pangs of jealousy that had risen just at the thought.

He hadn't seen Trip and T'Pol in the same room since.

The doctor had discovered that T'Pol's addiction had been caused by an effect they hadn't been able to distinguish from her physiological reactions during her initial exposure: Trellium-D was also a stimulant. She'd started taking it in small amounts when Trip had been fatally injured, when he'd created the sim, she'd quietly told him later, and when he thought back to that time he couldn't remember her sleeping or resting once the entire five days. It would be worth the risk, she'd thought then. She hadn't expected the addiction would be so strong afterwards.

She'd been too embarrassed at first to admit what she'd done. And then too hooked to care.

After days of shaking and throwing up, then sleeping for hours on end, Phlox had finally cleared her for duty. It would take a couple weeks, he'd said, for her to feel completely normal again and not feel constantly exhausted, but she shouldn't have any problems controlling her emotions.

He'd said she'd asked for Trip every single day.

Trip had asked Archer about her each morning. Dark circles grew under his eyes, even when she'd begun to improve. But after learning how she was, he wouldn't bring her up again or talk about her.

He'd never gone to her once.

Archer didn't know who to be more worried about now that T'Pol had been released: his first officer, or the chief engineer.

The doors to the turbolift opened, and Archer turned to see Trip enter onto the bridge. "Morning, Trip," the captain greeted cheerfully; the commander gave no response as he came around to Archer, not acknowledging anyone else on the bridge. The dark circles had almost disappeared. He must have gotten some sleep, once he'd heard T'Pol had been released, Archer thought. But he was still unusually quiet.

"Here's the report on the engine specs," he said in monotone, handing the captain a PADD.

"Thanks." Trip nodded, and began heading for the exit. You aren't going to hang around for a little while?" Archer asked, turning in this seat to look at Trip, who shook his head.

"I've got stuff to do in Engineering," he answered.

From her station, T'Pol watched him, wavering. She needed to talk to him, to explain, but after everything she'd already done, should she really do it now, in front of everyone?

She stood. It didn't matter anymore what they thought of her. She didn't care. Almost jogging to catch up, she implored him quietly, "Wait." She could feel everyone watching her. He didn't stop. "Talk to me. Look at me, please." He stepped down into the situation room, heading for the door; she grabbed his arm and he froze at the bottom of the steps.

She dropped his arm, unsure now if she had done the right thing. He turned slowly and looked up at her, a couple inches below her. "How can I?" His voice was strained, his words almost a whisper. "I don't even know who you are."

For all her control, the words still cut her. He could see it on her face. But he felt nothing but his own pain.

"I didn't do this to hurt you."

"But you did." He swallowed hard. She didn't move, frozen to the spot. He knew everyone could hear them. He was beyond caring. This would be the rumor to end all rumors. "Who was the woman I came to know all those nights? Who I talked to, who I trusted? I waited for those nights, T'Pol..."

"That doesn't have to change - "

"I made love to you T'Pol!" He couldn't stop from blurting it out, stepping up onto the step between them, closer to her. "I loved you..." He started reaching out to touch her face, but stopped himself, pulling back bitterly. "At least I thought I did. Now I don't know who that was."

Words deserted her. They stared at each other for several long moments, until, in a trembling voice, she said the only thing she could think of left to say. "I'm sorry."

He looked at her, a strange calm settling over him as he replied, "So am I."

The finality of his words stole the air from the room. Without looking back, he turned and left the bridge.

Archer sat in his chair, from where he had witnessed the entire exchange, holding his breath.

So it was all true.

He loved her.

Somehow, the thought provoked no jealousy.

Because she was shaking.

Phlox had cleared her, promising she could expect normal control over her emotions. So why was she shaking? What emotions could be that strong, that even now she could not win over them?

She loved him, he realized. Beyond control.

He had no room here, between them. All these months he never had.

Without turning to face them, she hung her head and asked with voice thick, "Permission to leave the bridge."

"Only if you're going to Engineering," he answered firmly.

She spun around to look at him in surprise. "Captain?"

"Go after him. You've got one chance to make this right. Go."

"There's nothing I could say now - "

"Tell him everything, T'Pol. *Everything.*" She looked at him, wanting to believe him. "Go," he urged.

If he was telling the truth, if there was a chance... Swallowing, she nodded and stepped into the turbolift.

**********************

An ensign in Engineering directed her to an access tube in the bowels of the ship. Climbing down a shaft, she found him in a junction fixing some wiring. He glanced up, meeting her eyes briefly, and looked away without speaking, continuing his work.

T'Pol stepped off the ladder and approached him, coming to stand at his shoulder. "You don't have to talk to me, just listen for a minute," she said quietly. He didn't acknowledge her, so she plunged ahead. "I didn't start using the Trellium-D until you were injured in the engine test a few months ago. ...I was trying to run engineering, and get all the repairs completed, and find a way out of the field before- ...I couldn't loose you. I had to take the risk." He paused a heartbeat, but started again fusing wires together without looking up or speaking. "The woman Sim said he had feelings for - the woman you said you fell in love with - I had never used the Trellium-D before then. That was me entirely."

He turned to her finally, but angrily now, spinning to face her. "And the night we made love T'Pol? Who was that?" he snapped. Angry, pained tears brimmed in his eyes. "I have never wanted anyone as badly as I wanted you. As I still love you. But how can I trust you now?"

She took a deep breath. "...I hadn't used any Trellium-D that night, or that day. I swear to you."

"How can I believe you?"

She felt lost for an answer. Disappointment washed over his face, and he turned away from her, back to the wires, expecting, wanting, her to leave.

But the answer came to her then, and she stepped between him and his work. "You want to know how you can believe me?" she asked, and without waiting for a reply pressed her lips against his, long and hard, tasting them and savoring them passionately, the way she had when they had made love; and he couldn't stop himself from kissing her back fiercely, thirst for her. The tools he was holding clattered to the floor, and he pushed her back against the wall, pressing himself into her, deepening the kiss as she opened her mouth to him.

"Do you believe me now?" she murmured, as they came up gasping for air.

His next kiss was all the answer she needed.

end

* (The rumor that T’Pol might be addicted to Trellium-D. …Wow.)

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Have a comment to make about this story? Do so in the Trip Fan Fiction forum at the HoTBBS!

A whole mess of folks have made comments

Bit on the fluffy side?

Hey,I *liked* it. I can see Trip's POV looking back at that night in Harbinger and wondering if it was just the drug talking.....

I'm not sure what to think about this spoiler. I'd like to think we will find out it was all an innocent mistake but I can see where Trip would have the most to lose by finding out that some of her actions might have been induced by her medical condition.

It was fluff, but fluff is good on cold, snowy days! And this was nicely written fluff... :)

I personally don't see Archer behaving quite so supportively, but I have a permanant seat on the purple couch... I do agree that when Trip finds out, he will worry but step back, doubting that what he felt from her was real...

I liked it. The possible issues that the addiction might raise regarding our favorite couple have been nicely touched upon in this little fic. Good stuff.

Oh, happy fluffy fanfiction to lift our spirits! Thank you! We all needed this to ease our monds, with this nasty rumor lurking ahead. Great stuff!

Great story a littlebit on the fluffy side but fluffy is good.
it was almost like that I was there good job

Aw fluff or not it was a great story! I thought it was nice. I two don't know whether Archer would support T'Pol and encourage her to follow Trip but hey who knows! Maybe Archer cares more about his friendship with Trip than getting a woman who is in love with someone else. It could happen.

This really is a lovely story. I hope it's just the first of a series, because I want to read more! What happens next? What happened before, when T'Pol had her breakdown? What does Archer do from here?

OOOOOOOOOOO! I like! Nice job!

great story....i hope the rumours dont come into fruition, but id expect this to be trip's reaction

I loved this story. But, I find it hard to believe besides the comments Berman made in the comm. I can't see the T'Pol we know and love using something like that. She'd have to be under the influence of something else in the first place to even do that. This is crazy. They are slowly and slowly ruining my favorite show. I was happy as could be before Harbinger aired, and not because they had sex, but because of the way they led up to it, and what happened afterwards. I'm starting to think that we, (the Fan Fic writers) should write the episodes. With the mix of us, the ENT fans, and the Hardcore Trek fans, we'll satisfy those TOS-loving bashers, and outselves.

There's bad fluff, and there's fluff to roll up in and sigh at the goodness of it all. Me thinks this is the latter.

I'm over my angst from hearing this spoiler- we need twists and turns, it's a T.V. show and we'd get bored of the ship pretty fast if it was plain sailing.

Fluff like this keeps you sane, helps you to remember that there's a lot of ways TPTB could handle this situation, and they may very well choose a good one. (Or at least one that will keep Ent from turning into a soap.)

One problem; it may be my anti-Archer bias talking, but I'm not sure he would have been quite so supportive of T'Pol going after Trip. I guess he wanted to protect his friends' feelings.

Thank you guys so much for your feed back. Yeah, I agree that I didn't write Archer so well. I wrote this at two in the morning after seeing 'The Passion of the Christ', and I just needed to write something with at least a simi-happy ending. I think dealing with Archer too was a little too much for that late at night. ;) But I'll watch out for that in the future. My Archer may need some work. Thanks, everyone! :D

I have to disagree about Archer. I'm sure his first reaction wouldn't be supportive or understanding, but I'm sure he would be after he realized the extent of their feelings. Aleda, I enjoyed this ff. It was the high I needed to get over this not so good day.

I thought this was brillo pads, though I couldn't see Archer telling T'Pol to go to Trip in Engineering. I think he would have taken a bit longer to get to that point but loved it that in this story he was more enlightened. Who needs to be addicted to Trellium-D when you can have Trip? Great story, thanks. Ali D :~)

Thanks for the great story! I liked that Archer is supportive of T'Pol and Trip. The scene on the bridge is probably a bit out of character for T'Pol, but I thought it was perfectly in character for Archer. A little jealousy is fine, but I prefer mature and sympathetic characters over ones, who behave like schoolboys. Especially the *Captain* of the ship. So I enjoyed how you wrote Archer.

I can also empathize with Trip. Certainly he would be worried whether the T'Pol that loved him was real or not. But I'm not sure whether our favorite Engineer would, well, push her away like that. She's already got all her dignity stripped from her and he practically makes her beg just to *speak* with her. That strikes me as genuinely mean.

If you find the time, you should really extend the story to describe how T'Pol earns Trip's love back! Don't let her off the hook so easily, there should be much more drama and terrible, terrible emotions before that is accomplished. The comeback of "he loved her *before* she got addicted" is great, by the way! But that she didn't sniff a line of T-D the night they made luuve is a bit too convenient, IHMO. Go and make her suffer! Nobody messes with the heart of Charles Tucker and walks away unscathed! :-)

Good fluff!! I would really like to hear more of the story.(Less on the drugs and more on their different approaches to things in general) I love their one-liners!

struth mate,this has succeded in making me randy.I'll leave it at that because the story has so many interesting character developments.In Aus T.V show not aired so for me this is new information.Thankyou for the new info and the entertaining,engaging story.

I liked it!!! Poor T´Pol! How could Trip be sooo cold? He should help her, not judge her like this!

I really enjoyed this fic. I heard about the spoilers and they made me mad, another OTP down the drain. But your fic gave me hope the writers can take the addiction route and make an even better love story out of it.

Wow! I read this after they showed "Damage." You were on the money! Writer some more, possibly a follow up?

Wow! I read this after I sae "Damage." You were on the money. Can you follow up with a sequel?

Wow! I read this after I saw "Damage." You were on the money. Can you follow up with a sequel?

I enjoyed this very much and would love to read Trip's side of things.