Beta Waves - Pt 9

Beta Waves

By Aquila

Rating: R
Category: Angst, Romance
Disclaimer: All things Trek are Paramount’s. The errors are mine.
Summary: Cornered by duty, Trip fights for the future. Sequel to Theta Waves. There be spoilers and unabashed speculation by Aquila.

==

Part 9

For the first time since entering the Expanse she had successfully compartmentalized her emotions, restoring the calm and control that she needed to cope while living with erratic Humans. This was an unforeseen, but welcome benefit of the Trellium hull lining. She was appalled that the arrival of a single sheet of paper and a peach stripped her of that newly won protection.

The truth was undeniable. The changes she experienced since entering the Expanse were precipitated not merely by the region’s odd properties, but by continuous intimacy with the Commander as a result of the neuro-pressure sessions. The effect of the trust and friendship that had grown between them was like acid on steel, eating away at her self-perceptions.

==

Outside in the corridor, Trip leaned against the bulkhead, his head in one hand. “What ever possessed me to write that letter?” he asked no one in particular. “Stop mooning around Tucker, there’s a mission that needs your attention.” He pushed himself away from the wall and strode off, determined to ignore his constant companions, longing and loneliness.

==

The paper trembled as T’Pol opened it to read the first sentence:

T’Pol - your silence is killing me.

She clutched the paper to her bosom – “As your need for my emotional surrender will kill me.”

The stationery was a bon voyage gift from Lizzie when I earned the berth on Enterprise. She said that it was fitting for someone who was participating in a new chapter in the development of humankind. She observed that the invention of paper led directly to our ability to explore space, then reminded me that what was once high tech became virtually obsolete. Lizzie kept me humble.

His sister had recognized the aesthete hiding behind the good-ol boy façade thought T’Pol. The inner man that has called to me since we first met and that I refused to recognize.

Have you noticed how little privacy there is on board a ship of the line? Of course you have, Darling. I know how intensely private you are. Lack of privacy never bothered me until now. Then I remembered Lizzie’s gift. Pen and paper – obsolete technology let’s me circumvent the constant monitoring our communications to which we are subjected. Are you amused by the irony?

“Not amused,” she replied to his silent question. “Afraid.”

I just had to assure you that what we shared was not a lapse of good judgment on my part. Although there are some who would say that you showed a lapse of good judgment. Letting you seduce me was the smartest choice I‘ve ever made! I will spend the rest of my life making sure you feel the same way about acting on your feelings.

She did not doubt the sincerity of his promise. She knew that his jest was more poignant than humorous. The forces against their liaison were formidable. Not the least of which was the family oath to protect the secret of the true First Contact and T’Pol’s dual heritage.

I’ve been dreaming about the challenging aspects of that posture – don’t know how to spell it – the one where my head is between your thighs and you are leaning over me. You apply pressure to my belly, at the waistline of my trousers. The next time we do that one, we’re going to be naked. We’ll be breathing through our noses ‘cause our mouths are going to be occupied. Dang, T’Pol, my blood pressure went critical just writing the description.

T’Pol was thankful that she was seated. Her legs would not have supported her. His economical description was sufficient to light a fire in her belly, which the dampness between her legs could not put out.

If things were normal, we would be practicing that and other more challenging postures as often as you would allow it. Not merely for the pleasure of it. I’m a needy S.O.B right now. You’ve shattered every wall I’ve ever built and left me vulnerable and scared. Touching you, pleasuring you – I need proof that what I feel you feel too!

She could not deny the intensity of her desire for the Human, who approached pleasure the same way he approached fine tuning machinery, with concentration and attention to detail. What courage it took to reveal his vulnerability and fear, she noted

I’ll make do with a few words, in your own handwriting. I left the back of this page blank so that you can write a reply. Are you having second thoughts, T’Pol?

==

“Show me the proof,” demanded the Captain of his CMO.

Phlox refused.

“That is an order,” was delivered in a white heat.

“I have compromised my principles by revealing T’Pol’s secret.” Phlox straightened his spine. “I draw the line at showing you her file.”

“You cannot tell me that T’Pol has Human DNA and expect me not to tell Starfleet,” Archer fumed.

“By telling you, yet not showing you the proof, I believed I had given you the data you needed to command, without having to inform Starfleet,” the doctor argued.

“That is sophistry…,” Archer paused, “Are you in collusion with the Vulcans?” He regretted his outburst immediately. Archer lowered his voice, “How did she dupe you?”

Phlox accepted the revised question as the apology it was meant to be.

“I am not sure that she intended to dupe anyone.” Phlox began. “Pulling out before being completely outfitted had other consequences.”

Archer understood immediately, “You hadn’t conducted the physical.”

Phlox nodded, “We had been in space for months before she finally let me conduct a DNA scan.”

“She asked you for doctor-patient confidentiality.” Archer filled in.

“She didn’t have to ask.”

Archer turned his back on the CMO, wandering absentmindedly toward one of the cages that held Phlox’s creatures.

“Do you think Trip knows?”

Ah, thought Phlox, the real reason for Archer’s sense of betrayal. The Captain was fearful that Commander Tucker’s loyalty had shifted from him to T’Pol. Phlox did not believe it to be likely.

“Commander Tucker, in my opinion, knows only what T’Pol wants him to know.” Phlox had an after thought, “I believe she would protect him rather than put him in a position which would require him to choose between Starfleet and his feelings for her.”

==

Trip did not feel his ears burning, contrary to the old wives’ tale, although he was top of mind in sickbay and T’Pol’s quarters. Neither T’Pol nor Archer was in his thoughts, as he and his crew had stumbled on a method of extending the range of the sensors. Trip believed that he could turn Enterprise into a listening post that would enable the ship to remain out of range of most planetary monitoring systems. Hope compounded.

==

“The spear in the other's heart is the spear in your own.” That teaching of Surak resonated for T’Pol, holding the spear, her pen, poised to strike she knew not where. She continued to flip through the book of teachings. It fell open at, “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one.” Her mother had quoted the saying time and time again, as her mother and her mother before her had. On that belief alone did four generations keep safe the secret of T’Mir and then the secret of T’Pol’s birth.

When she was old enough, Spelt had explained that neither Vulcans nor Humans were ready for the truth. “Although our people professed infinite diversity in infinite combinations,” said Spelt, “we too often fail to live it.” T’Pol recalled her mother’s favourite expression, “In due time, in due time,” spoken whenever her daughter’s impatience with her people showed.

“Humans,” said her mother, “Already resent our interference in their affairs.” She would take T’Pol’s hand and kneel so that they looked each other in the eye. “To learn that we lived among them secretly, so intimately as to bear children, that would be seen as a betrayal. Trust would be destroyed.”

“Trust would be destroyed,” whispered T’Pol, having finally decided the direction in which she must toss the spear.

End of Part 9

Continue to Part 10 Finale

Return to Part 8

Back to Fan Fiction Main Menu

Have a comment to make about this story? Do so in the Trip Fan Fiction forum at the HoTBBS!

Nine of you have made comments

What a beautiful letter!!! But now I´m just a bit afraid of T´Pol´s answer, oh...

Love the letter. I also like the idea of T'Pol being half human. It would explain a lot.

deep sigh...What a letter! Such an intensely personal peek into Trip's soul - and T'Pol's, too. Don't keep me (and everyone) in suspense too long, Aquila...What is T'Pol's answer? How can they be together? Breathlessly waiting...

Love this! I can't help feeling though that Captain Archer is going to be the true fly in the ointment. I like the way Dr Phlox justified his actions and the fact that he would only go so far in informing the Captain about T'Pol's history. Pity he had to tell him anything. Keep going, I can't wait to see what happens next! Ali D :~)

Argh! Too much angst! I just know that T'pol is gonna break Trip's heart. *sniffle* And I just want to kick the Captain in the head for being such asshat. *hrmph* :/

NO! T'Pol, don't do it! Listen to Surak! How much do you want to hurt yourself? ::Sigh:: Stubborn Vulcans.

Great letter! Naughty Trip, having your mind in the gutter like that. Go ahead, get yourself and T'Pol excited, while she's CONFINED TO HER QURTERS! That means, Trip, that she can't COME OUT. Therefore, you're gonna be ready to go, with no one to go to. Silly Trip.

Can't wait for more!

Yes, why did Archer have to find out? Why in the world did Phlox have to tell him? Really, I don't think it was necessary. Its just one more thing for him to be a moron about.

Update soon, please!

Please don't let her break his heart! Please don't let him get hurt! Oh T'Pol... she's always fighting love! We all know they're meant to be! And good grief... I'm really starting to get annoyed by Archer, I mean, what a jerk! You'd think he'd care more about his friends happyness instead of his own feelings!

Is it just me, or does anyone else think that the actor who plays the captain on Firefly would have made a better Archer?

Anywho, I'm loving this story! Write more, now, dang nabit!

Oh angst thy name is AQUILA!!!!!

Oh man things are going to get so much more complicated.

See after Carbon Creek I had a dream where Trip was the one born of Mestral's life on earth ;-) So way way way back in his family history he's just a little bit Vulcan and this is what has helped draw Trip 'n T'Pol together.