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Insomnia

Author - Blue Belle | Genre - Angst | Genre - UST | I | Main Story | Rating - PG
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Insomnia

By Blue Belle


Rating: PG
Spoilers: Yes, for season three.
Summary: Trip during a massage session. Before he started enjoying it.
Disclaimer: I don't own them.
Author's Notes: Just a little thing. Nothing of any relevance. Just like the series!!! ;)

*

He took off his shirt and tossed it aside, like he always did. This was nothing new. Sitting down cross-legged on the blanket on the floor, he exhaled loudly and bit the inside of his cheek, feeling vaguely guilty for being a bit of a burden. It wasn't like he hated this, but he did resent it. It made him feel weak, that he had to go through such a thing.

He felt her fingers touch his back and shivered involuntarily. Leaning his head forward and sitting up a little straighter, trying to be a little more manly about it, he licked his lips and entwined his fingers, and concentrated on his breathing. In and out, in and out...it was something to do. Something calming. Distracting. It wasn't that it didn't feel good; on the contrary, it did. And he resented that, too.

When the forced breathing got dull, he lifted his head a little and glanced around the room. It was always the same. Each evening she would have several candles lit and placed around her quarters. There wasn't any smell to them; he guessed that aromatherapy would probably be too distracting for her. Instead, colour was used as a way of inducing relaxation. The room was dark, the walls a deep shade of burgundy, her pillows and bed a soft mossy green. The dressers were a simple shade of sandalwood. And it was always the same, no matter what time he arrived. Nothing was out of place. Nothing was moved. Nothing was ever, ever different. She was monotonous.

He really couldn't help but resent that about her.

He inhaled sharply as her fingers splayed across his back and pushed firmly along his spine. He could feel himself relax, despite his best intentions not to. His breathing deepened as he closed his eyes and leaned slightly back, not really realizing it as he did so. He was so tired, and it did feel good. Sure, the acu-pressure helped, but it felt good to feel her warm fingers touch his skin. Even if it was her. He felt a bite of shame at that; she was helping him, and he was resenting her for it. He wasn't being fair. Her touch felt good, no matter how hard he tried to convince himself otherwise.

He licked his lips and opened his eyes, feeling her fingers as they roamed up to his neck. He exhaled deeply and watched as the flame on one of the candles danced as his breath passed it. Opening his hands and placing his palms on his knees, he was surprised to find that they felt cold and sweaty. How hard had he been clasping them?

She brought her hands back down his spine, and he noticed immediately when her fingers left his skin. He could hear her moving back from him, so he swallowed and turned his head around. She was standing, staring, holding his shirt out towards him, and he frowned because she was finished. She was already done.

He stood up silently and took the shirt from her, pulling it over his head. He never really felt comfortable dressing in front of her, but she didn't seem to care. He was pretty sure he resented that, too.

"Same time tomorrow, Commander?" she asked, stepping towards the candles. He watched as she leaned over and blew them out, one by one, until the room's only light came from the nebula outside.

He nodded softly. "Sure," he said, his voice barely a whisper. He didn't want to come back. Not really. He resented having to rely on her for something. He didn't want to rely on anybody. Maybe that's why he kept coming back. Because he felt so tired and so alone.

He walked towards the door and stopped as it opened in front of him. Dropping his head, he turned back to her, seeing only her outline against the shine from the window. "Thank you," he said, and then left before she could reply.

*

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Three people have made comments

Very nice piece! You have a good understanding of the man's emotions, and you have the ability to express them to readers. Would love to see tomorrow evening's session from the same POV.

Great little story and a nice bit of insight. Thanks for posting it here as well! Would be lovely to see more sessions and see if Trip cracks T'Pol's cool over time Ali D :~)

The mood of this piece is just perfect. Great command of our beloved pair. Please keep going with this.