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The Night Before

Author - Blue Belle | Genre - Angst | Genre - Friendship | Main Story | Rating - PG
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The Night Before

by Blue Belle


Rating: PG
Summary: Something happened to T'Pol, and Trip knows about it. Don't go making accusations, yet. Even I'm not sure what happened between them. :op
Summary #2: Could possibly be a continuation of "The Dance." I haven't decided yet.
Comments: This is basically Trip/T'Pol-ish. And yes, it's a "T'Pol and emotions" story. I know that's very wrong of me to write something like that, but I did it, so deal.
Comments #2: I'm not sure if I'm going to continue this or not. It took me, oooooh, at least 4 months to finally finish this part. If you get a sequel, it most likely won't be anytime soon.
Comments #3: This fic was beta-ed by my lovely beta-er till about halfway through. Then I wrote more. I woulda had my beta-er beta that, but she's not around right now, and I'm anxious to post. So forgive me if the last half isn't as excrutiatingly wonderful as the first part. ;)
Disclaimer: I own squat. I have only borrowed the characters for my own fun. If you want to sue me, good luck finding me!

*

Sub-Commander T'Pol stood in the Situation Room as Captain Archer paced and went over the briefing for the morning. She stood in between Lieutenant Reed and Ensign Sato, across and to the left of Commander Tucker. And, all at once, this was too close and too far away for her.

She inhaled deeply and stared at the PADD in her hands, consciously not making eye contact with him. She read over the entire report, and then re-read it, even when her Vulcan logic stated that what she was doing was unnecessary.

Her mind betrayed her by repeating memories of late last night, and she tried desperately to force them from her conscious. Her eyes moved over the words before her, but nothing was seen. She was too involved in softening the images in her mind.

"Sub-Commander T'Pol?" Archer's voice through the silence broke her out of her thoughts.

"Yes, Captain?" she responded, aware of the eyes upon her.

"Are you alright, Sub-Commander? I asked you a question."

T'Pol's eyes darted to several of her colleagues, but stayed away from his glance. She looked back up at the Captain. "I apologize. I didn't hear your question."

"That's all right," said Archer, leaning on the console. "I just asked what our flight plan was today."

T'Pol glanced at her PADD and looked back up at the crew. "Starfleet has asked us to take some readings on a dense star cluster two point five light years from here. Our flight plan will take us directly there." She looked each person in the eye as she spoke, but when she got to him she indiscreetly moved her glance back to her PADD. She silently admonished herself for giving in to such illogical movements.

"Trip, will the star cluster be giving our engines any trouble?" asked the Captain after T'Pol completed her report.

"None that we're aware of, sir," he responded. T'Pol listened as he continued explaining a few of the precautions they were taking. All she could hear was the sound of his voice, none of the words entered her mind. She found herself nearly mesmerized as she did all she could to push herself back to centre.

"Good then. Dismissed," said the Captain as he waved off the crew. T'Pol turned immediately and followed behind Phlox out the door, not looking back. She hoped Tucker wouldn't try to talk to her.

She had made it several steps down the hallway before she felt a hand around her elbow. She stopped and turned around, meeting a pair of determined blue eyes.

"What's going on with you?" he asked, letting go of her arm. "You haven't said a word to me all morning."

"I felt no need to," she said, her voice steady. She stared into his eyes, trying to look truthful. It felt like minutes before she realized she wasn't blinking.

Tucker exhaled and lowered his head as two crewmembers walked by. He stepped closer and lowered his voice. "I think we need to talk about what happened last night."

T'Pol felt slightly uncomfortable by his close proximity. She didn't like it when she felt her defenses were being breached. "That won't be necessary, Commander," she said flatly before turning and walking away.

She could feel Tucker's eyes on her as she walked down the corridor. When she finally turned a corner, she let out a held breath, hopeful that he wouldn't follow her.

*

Trip Tucker watched the Vulcan Sub-Commander walk down the hall and turn a corner. He pursed his lips, adjusted his footing, and hit the wall in frustration. Turning on his heel, he stomped off in the other direction.

Nothing frustrated him more than the Vulcan stubborness he encountered in T'Pol. He wasn't sure why he kept hanging around her when all she really did was make him mad.

He stormed onto the bridge, ignoring the stares he received. He slapped the chime on Captain Archer's office door and stomped in when acknowledged.

"Something up, Trip?" asked the Captain as Tucker entered. He could see the Engineer was definitely tense.

"Do you have any idea how difficult it is to understand some people?" he asked while pacing the office. "I have no idea what I'm supposed to do here!"

"Trip," said Archer, frowning, "What exactly has you so worked up?"

Tucker looked at his friend like he should already know what he was talking about. He then sighed and plopped down on the sofa. "It's T'Pol," he said.

Archer raised his eyebrows. "Something happen?"

Trip rested his face in his hands. "Yeah, but I can't tell you what."

"Why not?"

He looked up and soured his face. "I promised her I wouldn't."

Jonathan nodded slowly. "I see," he said, "Well, then, how do you want me to help?"

"I dunno," he sighed, leaning back on the couch. "She won't talk to me, Cap'n. And I can't understand why she's acting like that."

"Like what?"

Trip glared at the Captain. "Like she wants nothing to do with me."

Archer smirked. "Well, you two don't exactly see eye to eye, you know."

"No, that has nothing to do with it," sighed Trip. He rubbed his forehead in frustration. "Something happened last night and now she won't talk to me."

"Something happened?" replied Archer, curious. "What...happened?"

Trip rolled his eyes. "I can't tell you."

Jonathan sighed. "I don't know what to tell you, Trip. Just keep trying to talk to her, I guess."

Tucker bit his lower lip and snorted. "Easier said than done."

"She's never been an easy person to talk to."

Trip shook his head, distracted by his thoughts. "Maybe I should just give her some time alone first."

Archer nodded. "You could. But do you really think she'll be more willing to listen later on?"

Trip smirked and looked at the Captain. "No, I suppose not." Sighing, he got up and thanked his friend before leaving the ready room.

*

T'Pol sat in her room, meditating under the dim light of her candles. She found herself fidgeting, though, something that she rarely did. It was very distracting.

She sighed and opened her eyes. Obviously her thoughts weren't going to leave her alone, so she thought it best to allow them entry into her mind. Perhaps then she could find a logical and easy way to get them to dissipate.

She didn't often find herself tired, but today her body felt weak. What happened last night obviously affected her more deeply than she had first realized. Blowing out the candles, she got up and walked to the window. She stared out at the stars, wondering just how she had ended up here. She was on a starship with humans, people who she had been taught needed her guidance. And so she had stayed with them.

She breathed deeply and wondered if there wasn't another reason she had stayed aboard the Enterprise. There were no other Vulcans here so, in essence, she was alone. Away from her people for the first time in her 60 odd years. Her reasoning told her she would be of more use elsewhere, yet she continued to allow herself to stay. Even being considered the outcast of the crew, which she knew she was called, didn't bother her enough to even think of leaving.

Yet what occured last evening sent a quiet chill running through her. If anything could make her leave this ship, if anything could make her go back to her people, those events could.

Her door chimed. "Enter," she said, without turning from the view. She knew who it would be before she saw his reflection in the window.

"T'Pol," came the gentle voice. He sounded sad, and that didn't help her as she tried to maintain her resolve.

"Commander," she spoke, "Can I help you with something?"

He sighed and entered the room. "We need to talk."

"I don't think that would be a good idea." She continued staring out the window, concentrating on the stars.

Trip stood a few feet behind her. "You can't avoid me forever," he said, touching her shoulder and turning her to face him. Her face was unreadable. He dropped his hand. "Why is it so difficult for you to talk to me?"

"I was weak," she said, clasping her hands behind her back, "What happened to me," she paused, trying to find the words, "was dishonourable. I showed emotion. I should never have remained on board the Enterprise. It has obviously affected me far greater than I realized."

Commander Tucker licked his lips and ran his fingers though his hair. "Showing emotions doesn't mean you're weak. And it's not dishonourable."

"Perhaps not to a human, but I'm not human." She walked away and sat down on her bed.

Trip's expression saddened as he walked over to her. Kneeling down, he looked into her eyes. "Look, T'Pol, I know we don't always see eye to eye, but I like to think we can understand each other. What happened can stay between us. No one else has to know about it. There's no reason for you to think about leaving the ship."

"If I don't go back to Vulcan," she said, staring at him, "It could happen again."

"If you go back to Vulcan, it could still happen again. Exploring another side of yourself isn't a terrible thing. You could learn something."

"You obviously do not understand the Vulcan culture, Commander," she said, and Trip swore he heard a slight edge of irritation in her voice. "Control is the foundation of our beliefs. Exploration of emotions is not an option."

Trip pursed his lips and stood up, angry. "You're right, I don't understand. I don't understand why you're so afraid of being a little different. I don't understand why you keep running away from this. Did you ever stop to think that maybe this is a normal thing you're going through? It could be. And what if it isn't? Is it so awful for you to be a little different that you have to treat yourself like this?"

T'Pol stood up. "Ranting will not accomplish anything, Commander. This isn't up for discussion. I won't allow this to happen again."

Tucker softened and leaned in. "Afraid of losing control? Isn't that a little un-Vulcanlike?"

She tilted her head slighting. "If you're trying to evoke emotion from me, it won't work."

Trip smirked. "We'll see."

Commander Tucker's ability to move so seamlessly from anger to playfulness made T'Pol slightly uncomfortable. "You should leave," she said, expressionless.

Trip sighed and leaned back. "This isn't over," he said, smiling. "I'm going to make it my personal mission to convince you that feeling something doesn't mean you've betrayed yourself."

"That's unnecessary, Commander."

He laughed and made his way to the door. "We'll see about that, too. For now, I just want you to make sure you don't do anything drastic. We need you here, T'Pol. You're part of this crew. Don't leave just because you're afraid of staying."

With that, Commander Tucker left her quarters. As the door closed behind him, T'Pol felt some tension escape from her body. Taking a slow, deep breath, she sat back down on her bed and closed her eyes, relishing the quiet. She opened them again quickly, realizing she wasn't going to be finding any peace tonight.

*

Continued in "Mindgames"

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Two folks have made comments

why has no one made a comment? i thought this was a really great story. unfortunately you probably don't write anymore--which is a shame. i really like reading what people thought of our couple before they got together! nice work! i have been enjoying all of your stories so far(i've been starting at the first fan fic entry and working backwards---kind of fun going back in time)

I liked it, poor T'pol althoughs emotional humans.