Resemblance- Ch 3

Resemblance

By Evalyn A

Disclaimer: See Chap 1.
Rating: T/T, PG. May be archived, just let me know.
Spoilers: Third season.

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Chapter 3

Time had passed, as it does. They had encountered Xindi, and other species. They had found the weapon, and had discovered the secret behind the spheres that caused the spatial anomalies responsible for the Expanse. And they had finally made their peace with three of the five Xindi species, leaving the remaining two to find other prey, as was their wont. In the process, Enterprise and her crew had taken a considerable beating, and the doctor as well as the staff of Engineering had worked non-stop simply keeping the ship in one piece.

Their return voyage was made considerably easier by the charts of the anomalies that T’Pol and Mayweather had compiled over the course of the trip. Although this should have improved their speed, the damage that they had incurred made it necessary to stop repeatedly for repair parts that had to be jury-rigged to keep them going.

For the most part, Trip spent sixteen-hour days in Engineering, poring over alien technology in order to make it compatible with the ship’s systems. He worked himself hard, for he needed distraction. In many ways, he found his situation greatly improved over that of a few months previously. The distance that had arisen between himself and the Captain had largely disappeared; the surprise party seemed to have been a catalyst that brought Jon back closer to the old friend he had been. They had fallen back into a routine of occasional evenings spent together in Jon’s quarters, watching sports and discussing ship’s business.

He no longer awoke, sweating, from dreams of Lizzie being consumed by a massive wall of destruction. Instead, he awoke sweating from dreams of another woman much closer to hand, and yet as unreachable to him now as his sister. Dreams that recalled to him the one breathless, passionate instance in which they had succumbed, a torrent of endless time in her quarters, until guilt and duty had once again driven them apart.

The two senior officers still worked together well, perhaps better than ever in fact, for there was no longer any of the sniping that had for so long characterized their relationship. Neither was there any of the teasing or gentle camaraderie that had also been the best part of it. Their working relationship was professional and efficient. He had learned to ignore, then finally deny, the longing he felt for her each night as he returned to his quarters alone.

T’Pol had managed to put it all behind her. She could spend time in the Chief Engineer’s presence without feeling that impending loss of control that had overcome her previously – perhaps Phlox’s treatments had mended the damaged synapses in her brain, or perhaps the infatuation she had felt for Tucker had passed. She was once more the cool, clinical Vulcan, incapable of feeling the type of emotion that he had aroused in her for a brief time.

If occasionally she experienced a brief twinge when she saw his familiar figure enter the room unexpectedly, or when he ran his fingers through his hair in that way he had when tired or exasperated, it had no relevance. If she allowed her gaze to linger on him a few moments longer than necessary when he was unaware, it was merely in an attempt to ascertain his state of health as a good first officer should, for he was working himself harder than was wise. And if sometimes, when she slept at night, she had dreams of him that no amount of meditation could alleviate, surely it was a small price to pay for the control she had achieved during the day.

For she had other, more important issues to concern her: her future on Vulcan was far from assured, given her history of misbehaviour since her assignment to Enterprise. Her broken engagement, her disagreement with the Vulcan High Command over the listening post on P’Jem, her defiance of orders in order to come with Enterprise to the Expanse, her Pa’Nar syndrome, had all left her persona non grat a with a variety of factions on Vulcan. She could be sure of nothing except a difficult return, with many questions to answer, much penance required, and no possibility of a marriage bond.

The fact that her presence on Enterprise had certainly been instrumental in preventing a catastrophic war between Earth and the Xindi would, to some extent, mitigate her treatment back on Vulcan. On the other hand, there were groups on Vulcan who felt that had the humans stayed on Earth where they belonged none of this would have happened, and therefore anything that resulted was merely a form of galactic justice, proving that they had been right all along in holding the humans back as long as they had.

Would they post her back to Earth, as one of the few Vulcans who had managed to work in harmony with humans on a prolonged basis? Or would they rather view this success as evidence that she required some form of cure, either intensive training on Vulcan, or a remote post as far from humanity as possible? And which of these options would be the best?

For some reason, the idea of being posted to Earth caused her thoughts to skit away in all directions, while the options of remaining on Vulcan or being posted elsewhere left her with a vague sense of incompleteness. I could be somewhere that my unique skills with humanity can be put to use, she told herself. Surely those skills should not be discounted when I return, in the name of logic, and conformity to our social structure. But these are the strengths of our society -- my needs are not paramount.

She focussed her meditation on her role and responsibilities, spending each evening in her quarters and for the most part avoiding those social interactions with the crew that she had engaged in for a time.

Still, she had been unable to fully return to her former demeanour; the other crewmembers noticed in her a tolerance for their “human” behaviour, and a concerned appreciation for them as individuals, that persisted despite her resumption of a certain distance in social circumstances. There was some speculation as to the cause of the change in her, some hitting closer to the mark than others, but after a few months it was once more accepted as normal and comment died away.

The Captain did not seem to have noticed any change in her interactions with the crew or Commander Tucker. She suspected that he had for so long been consumed by the Xindi quest that he had not realized that there had ever been any change in the first place; he had rarely observed her with the rest of the crew over those months he had spent sequestered in the command centre, poring over star charts and analyzing the contents of the Xindi database.

Still, she found the Captain the most difficult to maintain her recovered poise with, for in his presence she found herself still experiencing last vestiges of the emotions she had once again mastered. With him, she experienced envy – envy of the way the crew had once more accepted back their old Captain, forgiving him his lapse into darkness; and envy of his renewed closeness with Commander Tucker, and her exclusion from that closeness – an exclusion that she encouraged and yet which still gnawed at her subconscious as she meditated alone in her quarters each night and retired, alone, to bed.

Time passed, as it does, bringing to each of them relief from pain, but no solace.

Continue to Chapter 4

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A handful of people have made comments

This was very good but poor Trip and poor T'Pol, hiding their emotions and trying to carry on regardless. I can't wait to see where you take this story and hope Trip and T'Pol get together again. Ali D :~)

That was depressing :(

Hmmm, I wonder if Trip and T'Pol will ever get together! I think they should... they still love each other! It's so obvious that there's something there... but I wonder how Trip feels....

ahh
i dont know if you want to use it but there is a person who could help tpol..
the father of the vulcan kov who was a minister in the high command.
i know most vulcans are not known for returning favors
;)

but if tpol did it in broken bow others might too.

Hmm, I really enjoyed the first two parts. They showed the inner workings of our favourite two quite well.
I am wondering why you changed your writing so dramatically for this part. Suddenly all the action is past and what about that "passionate instance" Trip and T'Pol supposedly had? You never explain about that. Part 2 ended with Trip leaving T'Pols quarters, both of them apparently resolved to just stay friends instead of trying for something more. Part 3 starts several months later. It somehow feels as if something vital to your story is missing.
You managed to show us Trip and T'Pols feelings so beautifully. Especially the scene in her quarters when she tells him about her feelings for Sim and him. That was brilliant! It could have been done so awkwardly but the way you did it was great.
I missed that in this chapter. All and everyone seemed so distant, so removed somehow.
Still, I am really looking forward to more chapters.