Soul Search Complete - Ch 2

Soul Search Complete

By Favors

Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst, Action-Adventure
DISCLAIMER: Star Trek: Enterprise is owned by Paramount, not me. No infringement intended, no profit made.
Spoilers: All season 4 spoilers, and any aired episodes, any spoilers we’ve all heard about
Summary: T’Pol courts Trip after some soul-searching, Trip gets captured by aliens during an away mission

A/N: italics represent inner-thoughts & musings.

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Chapter 2

T’Pol headed towards Commander Tucker’s quarters two pieces of pecan pie, one with a small white flag stuck in it. When she went to fetch the pie, the Chef had asked if she and Commander Tucker had made up. Even the quartermaster had a knowing look on his face when asked about a truce flag. Perhaps the doctor was correct, all on this ship did know of their feelings for one another.

She rang the chime, but there was no answer. Overriding the security code she entered his quarters. They were neat and orderly as usual. However, he wasn’t present. It wasn’t movie night, and it was fairly late.

Where is he? I can smell his presence in the room. I have missed his scent a great deal.

T’Pol didn’t want to contact Tactical just to track him down on the ship that would be too embarrassing. She should have arranged a time with him. Instead, she left the pie with the white flag stuck in it on his desk and left.

***

Trip needed to expend his energy. Seeing T’Pol in sickbay just made him even more upset. Despite his best efforts, he couldn’t get her off his mind.

‘Why? Why? Why? Why can’t I get her off my mind? She’s invaded your soul you poor dumb ass! That’s why!’

Trip had returned to his quarters long enough to change into workout clothing. He knew in his heart and soul he would never be over her, nor would he ever want another woman.

What did she do to me? I’ve been in love before and I never had this experience.

Trip made his way to the gym. Few people were there, one being Amanda Cole.

Why the hell didn’t I go for her? We have had a lot in common, she liked you, she’s pretty enough, tough, smart, strong, NOT Vulcan. Because you didn’t feel IT, that’s why. Even before she made a move on you, you were in love with T’Pol, even if you didn’t know it at the time. I’m an idiot.

“Hey, Trip, need a workout partner?” she asked, as she walked up next to him, wiping sweat off her brow.

“No thanks.” He answered solemnly before switching on the treadmill.

“If you just want to talk to someone, I’m here.” She looked at him with all sincerity.

“No, I don’t know. It’s just….never mind.” Trip stammered to a stop.

“Maybe you should just talk to her.” She knew he was in love with the first officer. She knew when she kissed him when they were in the Expanse that he didn’t really feel anything for her other than friendship. Once then Sub-Commander T’Pol came to her quarters, she knew who the object of his affection was, although it had already been well-rumored. Despite being Vulcan, Amanda could recognize a jealous woman when she saw one. Everyone knew they weren’t a couple, for whatever reason. Just as everyone knew they were in love with each other. She felt sorry for him.

“Talk to whom?” Trip did his best to feign ignorance.

“You know who, a certain pointy-eared first officer?”

“Does everyone on this blasted ship know how I feel about her?!” Trip said hotly.

“Well, maybe not that new ensign under Lt. Reed.” She teased.

Despite his bad humor, Trip couldn’t help but smile and chuckle.

“Although Malcolm is very thorough when he briefs new crew members. Maybe it’s in the Enterprise initiation package. ‘Commander Tucker is hopelessly in love with Commander T’Pol!” Trip spread his hands wide while he spoke. He had a rueful smile on his face.

Amanda smiled at his humor. It had been a long time since she had seen him smile. “Well, I’m off to bed. Good night Trip.”

“Night Amanda.”

Looking at him one last time, before leaving, she considered talking to the first officer herself. T’Pol was certainly throwing away a great catch with both hands. For an intelligent person, their first officer certainly was acting stupid.

Trip worked out for more than three hours. He was exhausted enough that he hoped he could fall into a dreamless sleep. By the time he reached his quarters is was in the wee hours of the night. The minute he entered his quarters, he recognized a familiar scent, musky with a hint of cinnamon. T’Pol. She had been here. But why?

On his desk sat a piece of pie with a small white flag shoved into it. A sign of truce?

She wanted to talk to you earlier. Maybe about getting back together? Maybe there is hope after all. Probably not, just wants to ease the tension between us.

Trip considered calling her quarters but it was considerably late, even she was probably asleep. She didn’t leave a note; she didn’t need to. She knew he’d know who left the pie. Trip sat down and munched on the pie before showering and heading to bed. He placed the white flag beside his bed before falling asleep.

****

In the morning upon leaving her quarters, T’Pol was surprised to see the white flag lying in front of her door. Beside it rested a peach of the same variety Trip had given her year ago. He left no note as she had not, it wasn’t needed, apparently, he had gotten her message. But did he understand? Did she?

****

“T’Pol, how are you coming on that report?”

T’Pol knew he was referring to the report regarding her and Trip. Why did he have to keep badgering her about this? That was the third time he had asked about it. “I am investigating the most logical and appropriate course of action to correct the situation.”

“Of course you are. The nebula?”

“At present speed we should arrive at the nebula in 36.4 hours. I still cannot penetrate the nebula with sensors at this range, perhaps when we are closer. Or perhaps we can launch a modified probe to send data back to us.”

“Provide Trip with your specifications; see what he can do for you.”

***

T’Pol sat in her quarters trying to meditate; his image came unbidden to her mind. His bright blue eyes, his strong arms wrapped around her, his lips on hers, his bare chest with just a little hair on it. Not like the captain, his chest was quite hairy nor was Trip like a Vulcan man who did not have chest hair at all. T’Pol snapped her eyes open, this was useless. Despite how much she tried to shove Trip from her mind when she meditated, he continued to return. Captain Archer told her to search her soul. Despite her conversation with Dr. Phlox, she was at a loss as how to proceed. She was secretly pleased he hadn’t been in his quarters. While she could compose her thoughts, what she wanted to say, when he looked at her with those beautiful blue eyes, all thought fled from her mind. Was this what it was like to be in love? Did it turn one into a mindless idiot?

Her musings were interrupted by her door chime. She was disappointed when she opened the door to reveal, not who she hoped, but Corporal Cole.

“Corporal Cole. What can I do for you?”

“Actually, I thought maybe I could help you.”

“Oh, in what way?” T’Pol stood rigid, blocking the door.

My rival has come to seek me out. A challenge perhaps?

“May we speak inside, or do you want to chat in the hallway?”

T’Pol looked uncomfortable as she stepped back to allow Corporal Cole into her quarters. It gave Amanda a small measure of amusement to know she could intimidate the formidable Vulcan. Amanda Cole took in the contents of the room with a swift, practiced glance. As T’Pol stooped to blow out a candle and pick it from the floor, Amanda noticed a peach pit alongside a small white flag lying on T’Pol’s nightstand. ‘That’s an odd thing to have, even for a Vulcan.’

T’Pol had crossed her arms over her chest and looked at Amanda Cole as if she were a viper. ‘Hmmmm….still jealous are we?’ Amanda thought to herself.

“I saw Trip at the gym last night. He didn’t look too well.” Amanda’s keen eyes noted how T’Pol’s jaw clenched when she referred to Commander Tucker as Trip. The Vulcan remained silent with her lips set into a hard straight line. ‘This will not be easy.’

“Since you’re his friend, I thought maybe you might know what the problem is.” Amanda said, emphasizing the word friend.

“No.” T’Pol replied in a clipped tone. Why is this woman here? Has Trip started a relationship with her? He was interested in her before, why not now? I’ve pushed him away; maybe he has turned to her.

“I see. Well, Trip is well liked by the crew you know. Many are concerned for him. He’s so sweet and nice. It’d be a real shame to see that aspect of him ruined by someone.” Amanda watched as T’Pol’s nostrils flared. She looked like a coiled snake, ready to attack. Amanda knew that T’Pol’s strength was superior to her own, but she had a few tricks up her sleeve should that be the case.

“What’s your point Corporal?”

T’Pol hadn’t changed her stance, but the muscle in her jaw had started to quiver. Amanda had a sudden insight. The woman was afraid. She didn’t know what to do when it came to romance. “Cards on the table, Commander, you’re throwing away a great catch.”

“I don’t understand your reference.”

“Don’t you? You came to my quarters months ago to alleviate the damage Trip had done. When he performed neuro-pressure on me, in my quarters.” The muscle in T’Pol’s jaw clenched and unclenched and her breathing became harsher. She was still jealous; she thought that Amanda could somehow take him away from her. She didn’t want him, but she didn’t want anyone else to have him. “I wanted him and so did you. You came to my quarters that night to check out the competition. And don’t try and deny it, I’m a woman too. Thing is you won. You even permanently marked him.” Amanda had the satisfaction of seeing the first officer’s mouth hang open and looked surprised. T’Pol quickly covered up her shock, but couldn’t stop the blush from claiming her neck and checks. “The bite mark over his left nipple, right over his heart. Interesting choice.”

“Why are you here?” T’Pol asked in a harsh whisper.

“Because, I like Trip, and don’t like seeing him hurt. You made damn sure he didn’t want any other woman. You’re a complete idiot if you let him slip through your fingers. For someone as intelligent as you are, you’re behaving quite stupidly. Woman to woman, you don’t go after him, I will. He may never love me, but I think I can…ease his immediate pain. Just a warning.” And with that, Amanda turned and left the bewildered looking first officer in her quarters. Amanda had no intention of trying to romance Trip, but that woman needed prodding.

***

“Doctor, do you have some time? I need to speak with you at length.”

“Of course T’Pol, what is it? Commander Tucker?”

At her nod, he continued, while he led her to his office. “Did you speak to him yet?”

“No. He wasn’t in his quarters when I went there, but I left the pie and flag.”

“Did he contact you?”

“In a manner of speaking, yes. He left the flag and a peach at my door yesterday morning.”

“A peach? Is there some significance to the peach?”

“Yes. When we were in the expanse he gave me some peaches to make up for missing some of our neuro-pressure sessions.”

“Ah. When you were exposed to the Urquat virus. I wondered how he knew about that, but I was too busy to ask him. He just tossed it to me and said ‘here’ before dashing off.”

T’Pol smiled slightly; she could picture him doing just that.

“Corporal Cole came to my quarters last night. She, in essence, told me what a fool I would be if I let Commander Tucker ‘slip through my fingers.’ I am, however, still at a loss as how to proceed. I’ll admit I was relieved when he wasn’t there. I find myself…tongue-tied to use one of his expressions, when I am in his presence.”

“I see. Well, let’s try another approach. What about writing down what you feel, what you want to say? Don’t give it him though. I’ll help you write it if you wish. It will help you organize your thoughts.”

“The captain has recommended I do some soul searching for what I want. Your assistance would be most appreciated Doctor. ”

“I will be asking intimate questions, I know how you value your privacy, but you asked for help and in order to do so I need to have details. All right, sit down. Close your eyes and try and relax. I’ll ask some questions, and you just respond, OK?”

“Very well.”

T’Pol inhaled deeply and tried to focus her thoughts. This would be an uncomfortable conversation, but better than having the Captain order the information from her. He had given her a deadline that morning. The Captain had given her 3 days to resolve the situation, after that, well…she didn’t really want to know what his solution would be.

Phlox clicked on his recorder. “How do you feel, physically and mentally, when you see Commander Tucker?” Phlox scanned T’Pol’s autonomic responses while she answered.

“Apprehension, sorrow, regret, longing, tension, hope, arousal. My heartbeat increases, as does my respiration rate. My mouth often feels dry. I find it difficult to speak to him.”

“Doc? Ya gotta help me with this headache!” a familiar voice called out.

Involuntarily T’Pol’s flesh pimpled at his voice, her body continued to betray her constantly.

“Stay here, I’ll be back momentarily.” Phlox said quietly to T’Pol. She wasn’t visible from the main part of sickbay.

“Yes Commander. I’m here.”

“I just can’t shake this head ache. I’ve had it for weeks now. Can’t ya give me something? “

“You have what appears to be a tension headache. You might want to ask Commander…”

“Don’t even suggest it! No. No way. I can’t take seein’ her anymore.”

“Have you tried talking to her?”

“No. What’s the point? Look, I don’t want to talk about her. Just give me somethin’ for the pain, will ya?”

“This is just a temporary fix. The pain will return as the source of your tension is unresolved.”

“She left me a piece of pie with a white flag in it, a sign of truce. Go figure.”

“So you spoke with her then?”

“What? No, she left it in my quarters. No, I haven’t spoken to her in days. I said I didn’t want to talk about her!”

“Of course not.”

“I’ve heard they’re goin’ to offer the First Officer of the Columbia a captaincy. I’ve been thinkin’ about puttin’ in for the First Officer position there.”

“You’d leave Enterprise?”

“Why not? Nothin’ here for me anymore, Captain and I aren’t gettin’ along anymore. Can’t really blame him though, I haven’t exactly been a model officer.”

“I think you should speak to Commander T’Pol before you make any decisions or requests.”

“I said I didn’t want to talk about her! Course, if I leave, you’ll have a lot of free time. I am your number 1 customer.” Trip teased the doctor. It was a running joke that he had the worst track record on away missions.

“Have you talked to the Captain about this yet?”

“No. Not yet. It’s just…it’s just….so hard seein’ her. She doesn’t want me. Hell! She doesn’t want anybody. From what I’ve been readin’ on Surak, there’s nothin’ there that says ya gotta do it all alone. But that’s how she’s choosin’ to interpret it. Sounds like a lonely life to me.”

“You’re reading Surak?” the doctor was surprised.

“Don’t sound so shocked, will ya? Her momma gave it to me before I left Vulcan after she got married. Tell me that lady didn’t have a sense of humor? She told me that the future wasn’t set. Didn’t know what the hell she was talkin’ about at the time. Then when T’Pol’s marriage ended, I thought, ‘Oh….she knew it wouldn’t be forever!’ I thought maybe if I understood her culture more, that maybe, she’d…take me back. But, well, you know that story.”

“I urge you to speak to her first before you make any rash decisions.”

“I said I didn’t want to talk about her!”

“My apologies Commander. You have lost weight, too much, your down to 75 Kg; your serotonin levels are high. You haven’t been sleeping or eating properly either I take it?”

“Not really. When I sleep, I dream about…well…never mind what I dream about. Look I just want somethin’ for the pain, OK?”

“All right.” Phlox pressed a hypo spray to Trip’s neck. “This also contains a sedative. You should sleep for at least 8 hours.”

“8 hours! I’ll miss my shift! I’m already on bad terms with the Captain, bein’ late for my shift isn’t gonna help!”

“I’ll speak to the captain, don’t worry Mr. Tucker. He is concerned about your health, he’ll understand. Go sleep now, Doctor’s orders!”

Trip didn’t look too happy as he left, but he did so grudgingly.

When Phlox returned to T’Pol, she was highly agitated and close to tears. She was pacing his office and clenching her fists.

“He is leaving Enterprise! He doesn’t wish to see me! He sees the situation as hopeless!”

“Calm down Commander! Focus! He hasn’t made any decisions yet. I assume you could hear the entire conversation?”

“Yes.” She snapped.

“But did you listen?” he shot back at her.

That brought her up short. What had he said? It had taken all her will not to go into sickbay when he was there. He was reading Surak. Her mother had given it to him. She said she had joined the Syrannites for her, to help her. Is this what she meant, a way for her marriage to be dissolved? Trip said he didn’t want to talk about her but continued to do so anyway.

“Let’s get back to that letter, shall we?”

End Chapter 2

Chapter 3

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A whole mess of folks have made comments

Fantstic story !!!!
I can't help myself, but it's a bit too angsty for me , but I love this story anyway !!!!!

Great chapter. Can't wait for more.

Great addition! Can't wait for more! I must say I just had to shake my head at this situation. It's amazing how better things would be if they just TALKED! Keep up the good work!

I quite enjoy this story so far. I love the angst you are putting our favorite couple through. Great stuff.

Like it please update soon.

oh please go on, go on, don't let us wait, and thank you...for the hope

Excellent! All the way through reading this part I kept hearing Travis Tritt singing "Foolish Pride" in my head. Wonderfully written, can't wait for the next part. Ali D :~)

nice....can't wait for the next chapter!

very nice, very realistic. Please post the next one soon

very nice, very realistic. Please post the next one soon