If you are seeing this paragraph, the site is not displaying correctly. You can see the content, but your current browser does not support CSS which is necessary to view our site properly. For the best visual experience, you will need to upgrade your browser to Netscape 6.0 or higher, MSIE 5.5 or higher, or Opera 3.6 or higher. If, however, you don't wish to upgrade your browser, scroll down and read the content - everything is still visible, it just doesn't look as pretty.
Author - Gammaent | Genre - Angst | Genre - Challenge: POV | I | Rating - PG-13
Fan Fiction Main Page | Stories sorted by title, author, genre, and rating
Clipping Clue-pons POV Fic Challenge
I hear the deafening sound of a metal canister skittering across the floor, coming to rest with a haunting echo. I hear Tripís voice loud and clear ďÖ but I donít want their damn power cells.Ē I take a peek around the corner. Heís with Sub-Commander TíPol. VulcansÖdamn them. Allies? I laugh to myself. Bet they enjoyed it when every last human died on Earth. Probably logical to kill illogical beings like us. Hell, if they had a single drop of emotionÖ
Then they wouldnít feel the way I do. Lisa. She was so beautiful. Iíll always remember her in her wedding dress right before she said, ďI do.Ē That was six years ago. I loved her. So god damn much. The way we had sat on the couch on her birthday, rubbing frosting on each otherís faces like we were five years old. God how I fell in love with her laugh, her eyes, her spirit.
Four years ago. She loved lilies, white lilies. Iíd picked up some on my from Starfleet Research to the hospital where she worked. Kids, she loved kids. If there anything she wanted to be more than a pediatrician it was a mother. And finally. Six more months and Iíd be holding a squirming little buddle of joy called Melissa, after her grandmother. The tests had confirmed it was a girl. Daddyís little daughter. Iíd been wearing a smile for months now and I didnít care what anybody thought about it. I was going to be a Dad. I greeted her staff as I walked into her office. Down the hallway I saw her, back to me, tantalizing me with her long silky black hair. I took a few long strides and the minute I turned her around to give her the lilies I knew something was wrong. Her eyes were far away and sweat covered her brow. I eased her onto the floor as I yelled for help, panic setting in.
Itís too painful to remember the details. Just that for the next month I watched her wither away, her nervous system degenerate as she came closer and closer to death. On the last night she turned her head and looked at me, and with a hand on her stomach and a sad smile, she said as if she knew the end had come, ďLove you.Ē And then she closed her eyes for the last time. I had sat there for hours, holding her hand, crying even when there were no more tears left, silently chanting her name. Lisa, Lisa, LisaÖ
Three years ago. I sponsored a 17-year old orphan named Melissa to go to the University of BogotŠ. She wanted to be an exo-biologist and eventually join Starfleet. I had been so alone for a year, but now I wasnít. Not anymore. Though I saw her only twice a month she became my everything. The daughter Lisa and I would never have. She was bright, charming and witty. It gave me something to do with the credits I had saved for the trip Lisa and IÖitís just too painful.
Less than a year ago, Melissa was killed in the Xindi attack. I didnít know what to feel. Was every person I loved destined to meet the same fate? I was angry. So angry. It was irrational, but it felt good. Bastards. I was happy, beyond happy that my tour on Enterprise began then. Oh how I would love to have a nice one on one chat with those bastards. Just my fist and their face and nothing in between.
The Vulcans. I still remember Sovalís little speech of non-interference and peaceful solutions. Oh how I wanted to kill him, the arrogant son of a bitch. What did he know what it felt like to lose everything you cared about? What did he know about love, about pain, about compassion? Son of a bitch. He and every damn alien, couldnít leave humans alone could they? Couldnít let us be who we are. No. Bastards. Every single last one of them. It felt good to be angry. So good.
It is true. O god, what I had denied just a few days ago is true. And itís disgusting, itís sickening. Trip just couldnít control his hormones, but even then, a Vulcan? My mouth tastes like something died in it. Lorian. A human and a VulcanÖI canít even think about it. How could a human do something like that with an unfeeling thing? God, itís like doing it with an animal.
Damn it. Damn it all. My fingers race through the samples picking up one after another. Itís been a few months since we returned back from the Expanse. Iíve finally found people who understand me, who know how I feel. They know what needs to be done, what humanity truly needs. Itís good to be angry. I hastily file through the samples reading off the names. Then I find it. Sub-Commander TíPol. Now a male, any human male they said. But who? My eyes read the name of the next sample in the alphabetized list. Commander Tucker. And the disgust comes back again. Thatís what the traitor deserves, bastard. I grab the two samples and replace them with duplicates. Filing them all away, I exit Sickbay melting away into the corridors of the Enterprise satisfied at knowing no one will notice.
I walk down the corridor, grabbing the phase pistol so tightly its imprint is burning into my hand. But I canít care. O god, what have I done? What have I doneÖ
Just minutes ago I was in sickbay treating a cut on my hand from the last Verteron array attack. I can see the Commanders from here, kneeling next to the crib. The anger in me has quieted and a sickening sense of dread is replacing it. I donít know why.
I can hear their hushed whispers. Doctor Phlox is too busy to notice Iím still in sickbay. ďHer name is ElizabethĒ I hear TíPol say in a voice so pained I canít believe itís from a Vulcan. Trip turns his gaze to her and simply says, ďMy sister would have liked that.Ē They both continue to look at her, moving closer together without even realizing it. I see the Doctor step closer. I canít hear exactly what he says but Iíve never seen him without a smile. I catch bits and pieces, enough to know that she wonít survive. Because of what I did. I canít see their expressions but it isnít to hard too imagine as they look at the Doctor and then immediately back to Elizabeth. They both have a hand against the glass, pawing at it as if they can stop whatís happening, as if they can save her. I hear TíPol whisper again ďHer name is ElizabethĒ as if thatís all that needs to be said.
By now my throat hurts so much I hope nobody asks me to say anything because I wonít be able to. The Doctor looks over to me and gives a sad smile. I donít do anything in return. Iím in shock. I can hear every heartbeat, each so loud because each one causes a pain deep inside my chest. Then I look over to the Commanders, and oh god what have I done. As Trip wraps his right arm around her waist and moves closer to her, I get a view of their reflections in the glass. He says a simple ďSheís so beautiful.Ē
ďShe has your eyes.Ē TíPol turns to look at him, their faces so close together. Her eyes travel up and down his features, drinking them in.
ďBut she has your ears.Ē He canít help but laugh a small sorrowful laugh as he says it. His eyes look upon her, repeating the same motions as hers. Even in their pain they play their small game, just as I imagine Lisa and I would have. Their heads come to rest together, TíPolís hand still pawing away at the glass just so she can be a little closer. They keep their vigil in silence having said all that needed to be said. They donít notice my presence-- to them nothing exists besides Elizabeth and their love.
Love. O god what have I done? That night in the Expanse when I saw them how could I have mistaken it for anything else?
I clumsily fall out of Sickbay, unable to keep myself balanced. I head for the nearest weaponís locker and grab a phase pistol.
Thatís how I ended up this way, walking down the corridor intent on finding the Captain. Words, images and memories fill my mind. None of it makes sense. I donít want it to make sense. If there is any coherent thought, itís only ĎWhat have I done?í
I see the Captain. I speed up to catch him. Just as he enters the turbo lift I turn the phase pistol on him and say ďCaptain.Ē
I donít hear anything of what he says. I just say, ďI have to.Ē Because I do, because I do.
He steps closer to me and I back away, scared that I wonít be able to keep myself together. Heís trying to get the phase pistol, but I wonít let him. ďI canít sir.Ē The shame, the love, the despair, the loneliness, the anger, the sadness. Theyíre all a mix and Iím shaking with the effort to do anything at all. Even breath.
ďI wanted you to know thatÖĒ I know I have to say it ďIím sorry.Ē Itís meaningless.
As the rest comes out, I can feel tears threatening to spill but I wonít let them. Never again will I cry. Never again. ďI believed in what we were doing.Ē
And I did. But now I realize that it was just my anger, my loneliness, my despair at losing Lisa. In a flash of clarity I see how misplaced my emotions have been. I was helpless to stop what happened to her, I just sat there and watched her die. And there was no one to blame. When Melissa died, it was Lisa dying all over again. Except this time there was a face to blame, a cause to join. It felt good but it was so wrong. That night in the Expanse I was jealous of Trip and TíPol and the love they had found in each other. I can admit that now. How Trip had lost somebody but found love too, unlike me, who only lost and lost. Until I joined Terra Prime. I had justified to myself the nature of their love as merely lust. It had felt so good. And now Trip and TíPol were watching and waiting for their daughter to die. A daughter they were meant to have but now will never have. A daughter they love just as they love each other. It wasnít about being human or Vulcan, it was about two individuals. What I had now robbed from them. O god, what have I done?
ďTell my parents Iím sorry.Ē I close my eyes at the pain of all the emotions I feel. I canít even identify them. But my body burns with regret. I deserve the pain, I deserve it. The scene from Sickbay flashes before my eyes. The last words of Lisa echo through my ears, ďLove you, love you, love you.Ē
ďI never meant anybody to get hurt.Ē I see TíPol pawing at the glass the separates her from her daughter.
I donít keep the emotions in anymore. Iím shaking so hard I can hear myself. I can feel the water in my eyes. I can feel the phase pistol pressing into my hair so hard a dull pain radiates from it. Just before I press the button a single five-word thought clears everything else from my mind. It brings me a heartrending happiness that Iím never meant to have. Not now. Not ever.
ĎIím coming Lisa, Iím coming.í
Have a comment to make about this story? Do so in the Trip Fan Fiction forum at the HoTBBS!
A whole mess of folks have made comments
This was a nice POV. Really explains how Masaro could have justified stealing the dna but still felt enough guilt to kill himself. Good work!
Now you've got me crying for Masaro, of all people. Very touching. Nice job.
Woah. Now I'm reeeeally gonna cry. That was... achingly beautiful. Not beautiful in the conventional sense, but all the same... Wow. Well done, well done! :)
That was sad and good. Very well done.
Just wanted to agree with everybody who already commented it. Powerful POV - wow!
Very poignant! Great job. We never did know much about Masaro on the show other than that he threw his lot with Terra Prime. Nice way to fill in his background and to make the reader believe he regretted his actions.
Thank you for writing this story!
Whoops! The above review was by me, Binah.
Intense and moving. Wow.
Very good! A real insight into what might make someone get mixed up with a group of terrorists - revenge for heartrending loss and pain.
A nice background for Masaro.
I didn't remember Ensign Masaro very well, but I sure will now! A powerful fic, deeply felt, and a nice turnaround within the character.