Paradise Lost

Star Trek—The Continuing Voyages of the Enterprise
A Virtual Season 5 Series

By ginaR

Series Summary: You thought you knew the senior officers of the NX-01…But now in this exclusive series, secret desires will be revealed, monumental past mistakes will be laid bare & your views of them will never be the same. See how the senior crew of the Enterprise< become who they are today. ((Post-Terra Prime; Pre-These Are The Voyages.)) See what happened between the premature death Elizabeth Tucker, daughter, of Charles Tucker & T’Pol of Vulcan, & Trip’s death; exclusive on Reed’s search for love, Hoshi’s newly-discovered self, Travis’s search for his life’s purpose, Phlox’s experience with the xenophobia on Earth, Portho's search for the mother of his puppies, Archer’s transformation from ignorance to acceptance and much more.

Genre: Science Fiction and other varied themes (will be mentioned at the top of each story).

Rating: varied (again, will be mentioned at the top of each story)

Possible spoilers: Broken Bow through Terra Prime

Disclaimer: Only new characters and the new plots are min. The original characters belong to Paramount. I receive no monetary reward for my work; my only reward is the joy of creating.

Author’s Note: I have this in script format so if you find it easier to read, email me at writing_teen15@yahoo.com to request it. Most likely it will be in PDF, mind you, so you’ll need Adobe Acrobat.

*********************

Story # 1: Paradise Lost

Part: One

Episode Number: 22 (Of course, bumping the episode number on These Are The Voyages a little higher.)

Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Only new characters and the new plots are mine. The original characters belong to Paramount. I receive no monetary reward for my work; my only reward is the joy of creating.
Genre: Science Fiction/Angst/Action/Adventure
Possible spoilers: Broken Bow through Terra Prime

Last time on Star Trek: Enterprise… Terra Prime

***************

Captain’s Log

I’ve asked Ensign Mayweather to set a course for Risa so that the crew can have a little well earned R & R. Admiral Gardner suggested that perhaps shore leave away from Earth and all of the uprisings of the moment would be more suitable. The xenophobia on Earth has reached an all-time high since Paxton’s broadcast. I agree with him, especially given the recent loss Commanders Tucker and T’Pol have suffered.

***********

Archer sighed as he tossed back the remainder of the bourbon in his glass. An awkward silence hung between Archer and his best friend for a moment before Archer broke it. “So, how are you and T’Pol handling…things?”

It was a moment before Trip looked up, and Archer saw for the first time how hard this had truly been on Trip. He looked as though he hadn’t slept in days and Archer noticed that his uniform was a little loose. “As best as we can considerin’ we lost a daughter neither of us knew about until a few days ago.” Trip’s speech was slurred and sluggish, a tell-tale sign that he was deep in his cups. Archer nodded, his gaze falling away from Trip’s. It cut him deeply to see Trip resort to heavy drinking, but he knew to Trip, it seemed the only way to forget.

Archer grimaced. “I can’ say I know what it’s like to lose a daughter, but I can say I know what it’s like to lose someone close.”

Trip laughed mockingly. “That’s the thing, Cap’n. I didn’t even know her. I didn’t spend more than a few moments with her before th’ Doc told us the news.” Archer looked up to see his friend’s eyes filling with moisture. “God, I wish I could have done something, Jon. Anything to save her.”

“You aren’t God, Trip. There was nothing you or anyone could have done.”

“I know, Jon. I just…” The tears began spilling over. “I watched it. I watched her dying and I don’ think anything will ever break my heart more than watching her walk that thin line between life and death until finally her little lungs jus’ gave out.”

Archer put a comforting hand on his friend’s shoulder. “You still have your friends, Trip…and you and T’Pol have each other. We’ll always be here for you. You’ll get through this, just like you got through losing your sister. You’ll see. Just give it time.”

“Why in the hell do I always end up losing everybody I care about? God, when Hoshi told me you didn’ make it off that damned bomb, I thought I’d lost the only piece of humanity I had left. I didn’ think I’d ever feel more pain than I felt then. I was wrong. God, I was so wrong.”

Archer wished he knew what else to say; but he didn’t. He hugged his friend tightly, giving him two rough, brotherly pats on the back. Trip returned the gesture before pulling back and laughing through his tears. “We’ll put it to the bourbon,” he said.

Archer smiled weakly. “Or we can put it to a best friend offering a bit of comfort through tough times.”

Trip nodded. “Or to that.”

Just as Trip reached for the bottle of bourbon again, Archer plucked it from his hands. “I think you’ve had enough, Trip. You’re drunk as hell. I doubt you’ll even make it back to your quarters on your own.”

Trip chuckled. “Oh, I doubt I’ll even make it out the door.” He frowned. “Maybe I shouldn’ have had so much. T’Pol’s bound to notice that the neuropressure isn’t what’s relaxed me.”

“Are you two still doing that neuropressure? According to Malcolm, that’s supposed to be pretty…intimate. He said that Vulcans normally only do neuropressure with their lifemates.”

“And since when do you listen to anything Malcolm says?” Trip drawled, smiling despite his serious tone.

“Since I looked it up for myself. The background on it was limited, but there was enough information to confirm what Malcolm shared with me.”

“You have anything to say about it?” Trip asked, the look on his face daring Archer to make something out of it.

Archer raised his hands defensively. “To each his own. If you two are comfortable with it, go for it. It’s none of my business.”

Trip sighed. “It isn’t what you think, Jon. She hardly looks at me anymore.”

Archer nodded, his gaze on his glass before he threw back the remainder of the liquid in it, the liquid burning his throat.

“You know, I haven’ seen you drunk since what’s-her-name turned you down flat when you proposed to her.”

“Her name was Margaret Mullen, and she turned me down when I asked her to marry me because she didn’t want to become a Starfleet widow.”

“Don’t worry, Jon. You’ll find the right gal someday…and she’ll be able to put up with every bit of your complicated personality.”

Archer smiled. “Hopefully I already have.”

Trip’s eyebrows shot up. “Are you talkin’ about Captain Hernandez?”

“Erika, yes.” Archer sighed, taking a long drink from the bottle of bourbon he’d snatched from Trip, the liquid burning his throat slightly as he guzzled the remaining sixteenth of it. His eyes filled with tears from the burn of the bourbon, he let out a dry cough, setting the now-empty bottle back on the table in front of him. “The last time we were alone together, things somehow picked up where they left off,” he replied hoarsely, pounding his chest with a fist.

“Can I take that as you got a little action out of her?”

Archer frowned. “She’s a woman, Trip and it’s inappropriate to talk about her like that,” he replied, his voice still hoarse.

Trip shrugged, bringing his hands up in a defensive gesture. “Sorry.”

Archer leaned back in his chair, and closed his eyes. Trip chuckled. “Damn, Jon. She’s got you wrapped ‘round her little finger.”

Archer opened his eyes and looked at Trip, a frown crossing his lips. “What are you talking about?”

“You love her, don’ you?”

Archer paused, considering it for a moment. He sighed, at last reaching the same conclusion. “I guess I do.”

Trip laughed, his laugh a genuine one. “Looks like th’ only ones left withou’ somebody are Malcolm, Hoshi, Travis, and Porthos.”

At this, the canine lifted his head tilting it to the left slightly. Archer and Trip laughed. “Well, until he finds a lady friend, he’s going to be single for awhile yet.” Porthos barked twice, and then jumped up so that he stood on all four paws.

Trip laughed. “I think he wants you to find him one.”

“He’s all I can handle right now.”

“Maybe Erika has a cute gal for him.”

“Like I said, he’s all I can handle right now.”

Porthos barked, running towards his master and standing on his hind paws, his front ones resting on Archer’s leg as the beagle whimpered pleadingly. Archer smiled, scratching his canine friend behind the ears. “Maybe soon, boy.” Porthos barked, then heading toward Trip, trying to climb into his lap. Trip laughed, picking up the dog and settling him in his lap scratching him behind the ears. Archer chuckled. “Sure, appeal to him when I tell you ‘maybe’.”

A silent moment passed before Trip picked Porthos up and set him back on the deck before standing up and straightening his uniform. “Well, I’ve got to go. I’ve got a date with our Vulcan Science Officer to keep.”

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” Archer teased.

“Jon, if I listened to that, T’Pol wouldn’ want to keep up our neuropressure sessions.”

“So, there’s more to your nights than a little Vulcan massage therapy?” Archer asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Goodnight, Jon.”

Archer chuckled. “Goodnight, Trip. Have fun.”

Trip smirked. “Oh, I will, Cap’n. I will.” With this, Trip exited Archer’s quarters, leaving the other man behind chuckling.

****************

Play Intro. Music

=/\=Mayweather to Archer.=/\=

Archer looked up from his work and pressed his thumb to the comm. button. =/\=“Archer here.”=/\=

=/\=“We’ve arrived at Risa, sir.”=/\=

Archer smiled at the enthusiasm in the young man’s voice. He couldn’t blame him. He’d been looking forward to this as well. =/\=“Enter standard orbit, Ensign and have Hoshi inform the first group.”=/\=

=/\=“Aye, sir. Mayweather out.”=/\=

Archer leaned back in his chair, his eyes closed as he thought briefly over what he would like to do on the surface. Perhaps he’d go to the clubs with Lieutenant Reed and Ensign Mayweather. He’d pass on the women, however. After Trip and Malcolm’s experience on their last visit, he was inclined not to repeat their mistake.

=/\=“Group One for the Risa shoreleave meet in the Launch Bay.”=/\=

As each Shuttlepod could carry a maximum of seven passengers and they only had two Shuttlepods, it would take several trips to get the first group of 20 down to the surface. Of course, Porthos would be going down with the senior crew and himself in Shuttlepod One. Archer stood, exiting his ready room and making his way toward the Launch Bay.

****************

“Not this damn thing again.”

“Don’t worry, Commander. It’s not too far to the surface.”

“You can’t honestly tell me that we’re taking Shuttlepod One down to Risa, Cap’n. I mean, Jesus…”

Archer chuckled. “I’m sure those repairs you made to her will hold up, Trip.”

Trip sighed, at last giving in. “All right, but don’ look at me if the damn thing breaks apart.”

“We will look at you, sir, because you’re the one who repaired the Shuttlepod.”

“You’re not helping, Hoshi.”

Hoshi shrugged. “Someone had to say it. It might as well have been me.”

“Enough, you two. I’d like to get to Risa sometime in the next lifetime.”

Trip laughed. “I think your personal life can be put on hold until Hoshi and I work this out, Travis.”

“Just because you have nothing better to do than argue with the Comm. Officer doesn’t mean we don’t.”

“Trust me, Travis. I have plenty of more productive things to do,” Trip hinted suggestively.

Hoshi rolled her eyes. “Men,” she muttered.

T’Pol gave Trip a meaningful look, while the other five laughed, Trip and T’Pol were caught up in their moment. “Careful you don’t run into trouble, Trip. You remember what happened last time…”

Trip frowned. “That’s something I’ll never forget. And it isn’t funny. There was no way we could have known short of finding out the hard way.”

“If I recall, Commander, you were the Commanding officer…so the blame lies with you.”

“No way, Mal. You were more than happy to follow your gal up a mountain, through a raging river, and over an ocean. So that’s your own fault.”

“All right, everyone. The shuttle is ready. We’d better get moving.”

They all boarded the shuttle with Trip muttering under his breath what sounded suspiciously like a prayer. Once they were all strapped in, Travis began checking the engine controls to be sure everything was functioning. =/\=“Sato to Bridge. Shuttlepod One ready for departure. Requesting permission to launch.”=/\=

=/\=“Permission granted. Good luck.”=/\=

“Ensign Hewe…” Trip began, the opening of the Launch Bay doors and the sudden drop halting the verbal reprimand he’d been about to give. He stiffened in surprise, his grip on the armrest tightening as the momentary fall caused his stomach to drop to his ankles. He relaxed slightly when Travis leveled off and began the gradual descent toward the planet’s surface.

“See, Trip? Nothing to it,” Archer said giving his friend a slap on the back from behind.

“You look ill, Commander,” Phlox pointed out.

“My stomach’s still down around my ankles, Doc. I’ll be fine once we’re on the ground.”

“I second that,” Malcolm added, his head leaned back and his eyes closed.

Trip chuckled good-naturedly. “Just be grateful that if this thing does break apart, it doesn’t break apart over an ocean.”

“You’re sure Porthos isn’t bothering you, T’Pol? I can hold him if you’d like.”

“I’m fine. He seems comfortable where he is.”

Archer chuckled. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were developing a soft spot for him.”

T’Pol raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. Trip smiled, knowing that that was exactly the reason she was reluctant to give the canine back to his owner.

“All right. Hold on. This is going be a bit bumpy.”

Trip frowned. “That’s not quite what I wanted to hear, Ensign.”

Hoshi smiled. “The shuttle’s not going to go to pieces from a bit of turbulence, sir.”

“Still, I’ll definitely feel better once both feet are on the ground.”

“We’re entering the atmosphere.” Trip stiffened when he felt the Shuttlepod begin to rock, his fingers digging into the fabric of the seat as they descended, occasionally feeling a plummeting sensation in his stomach.

“We’re at 3500 kilometres and closing. All systems reporting nominal. 2000 kilometers….1500 kilometers…”

A few moments later, the Shuttlepod made a gentle landing at the designated landing coordinates.

“Well, we didn’t come all this way to look at it. Let’s get moving, shall we?” With this, Archer exited the shuttle.

T’Pol watched after him. “The Captain seems eager to enjoy the pleasures that this planet has to offer.”

Trip chuckled. “Give him a break. He’s worked his ass off. He deserves it. Firs’, he saves an entire quadrant and then he fixes th’ timeline to get us home, not to mention what he went through on Vulcan…”

“Yes, he does deserve this chance to enjoy himself.”

Trip smiled. “What do you say we do a little exploring?”

T’Pol nodded.

“Don’t wander too far. It’s easy to get lost here.”

Trip chuckled. “Don’ worry, Cap’n. We’ll be back before dark.”

T’Pol nodded again.

“You two behave now!”

“Same to you, Mal. Don’t get into any trouble with those club gals!”

“Oh, no worries there! I’ve got Travis with me!”

“Better take Hoshi with you, too! She’ll keep you both out of trouble!” Trip chuckled when Malcolm shouted a jesting reply. “Smartass,” he mumbled.

“Lieutenant Reed is perfectly capable of defending himself. You, however, do not have a very impressive record with visitations to alien worlds,” T’Pol observed, a slight teasing not in her voice.

Trip’s eyebrows shot up. “You goin’ start on me now? Besides, with you ‘round, how much trouble can I get into?”

T’Pol nodded. “A fair observation.”

“Come on,” Trip said, grabbing T’Pol’s wrist. “I want to show you somethin’.”

T’Pol looked down at his hand on her wrist, then meeting his gaze, her brows slightly furrowed.

Trip released his grip on her wrist, his fingers sliding to intertwine with hers. “It’s okay, T’Pol. It isn’t going to bite you.”

Her grip on his hand tightened and she continued gazing into his eyes as though searching for something in them. She hadn’t seen this side of him before and it started her wondering just how much of his multi-faceted personality she’d truly seen. She nodded, silently communicating that he could continue.

She saw a smile flash across his lips before he turned to lead her to what he wanted to show her. She felt a sudden wave of excitement that she knew was not her own. It was Trip. She could feel his emotions through the bond.

The farther along they moved, the more his excitement grew. At last, T’Pol found herself standing next to him looking out on a waterfall-paradise. “I know it’s not the Fire Plains on Vulcan, but it’s still a mighty pretty sight.”

T’Pol nodded. “Yes…it is.”

Trip frowned. “Are you all right?”

Again, T’Pol nodded. “I was thinking of Elizabeth.”

Trip sighed, squeezing her hand tightly. “I miss her, too, T’Pol.” He smiled. “I jus’ keep thinkin’ what it would’ve been like to be a dad. ”

T’Pol looked into his eyes. “You would have made an exceptional father, Trip.”

He smiled. “I’d like to think so.” He wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tightly. “You would’ve made a great mom, T’Pol.”

The two remained silent, simply absorbing the moment. “So, you want to go for a swim?”

“Vulcans don’ swim,” she replied.

“Don’ tell me you don’ know how.”

“I know how to swim. I simply don’t wish to do so now.”

Trip smirked. “What? You don’ like the water?”

“We have no clothes other than what we’re wearing.”

“So? We can strip down to our skivvies then. It’s not like I haven’ seen you in them before…and vice versa.”

“We don’t have a change of clothing until we return to the Shuttlepod.”

“Aww, come on, T’Pol. Loosen up a little.”

T’Pol paused. Before her experience aboard the Seleya, she would not have had the struggle that she had now. She would have found nothing unusual with stripping off her clothing and entering the pool unclothed. Trip’s presence added to her reluctance to do so. Memories of their encounter still slid through her mind from time to time, though she carefully controlled her reactions to them. It would not do to encourage further advances. That one night had irrevocably changed things between them. Another encounter might serve to give Trip an incorrect impression of her intentions. She could not afford to give control up to him again.

Lost in thought, she had not noticed Trip leading her steadily toward the water. By the time she caught on to his intentions, she was standing shoulder-deep in the water, soaked and spitting water from her mouth.

Trip clutched at his stomach, laughter bubbling from deep in his chest. “You see, now that wasn’ so hard, was it?”

“No,” T’Pol replied deadpan, extending a hand. “If you would please assist me out of the water.”

Trip sighed. “All right.”

No sooner had he taken her hand than he found himself standing right next to her just as drenched as she was. “I should have seen that coming,” he muttered, pushing the hair of his face.

“Yes, you should have. It was the only logical way to return your enthusiasm.”

Trip chuckled. “You’d better watch it, T’Pol, or you might just prove the Captain right.”

“Your concern is touching; however, you should be more concerned with me receiving some of your stray thoughts than with me developing a tendency toward your mannerisms.”

“You can still read my thoughts through the bond? Even after all those techniques you showed me?”

“Perhaps our bond is stronger than I suspected.”

“Which means?”

“This goes deeper than a mating bond.”

Trip rolled his eyes. “For the last time, we didn’ mate.”

T’Pol nodded, frowning slightly. “For your purposes, we will call it making love.”

Trip nodded. “So, you were saying?”

“I believe that the bond is perhaps equal to that of two th’ylas.”

“Th’ylas?”

“Spouses.”

Trip frowned. “So what you’re saying is…”

“What I am saying is that, in essence, we are th’ylas.”

“So, we’re married?”

“By Surak’s definition, yes…we are married.”

“Is this “marriage” jus’ like a legal one?”

“As I have said, by Surak’s definition, yes.”

“What about by your people’s definition? I know it sure as hell isn’t worth a damn thing on Earth.”

“I don’t believe it would be accepted as an official marriage until we have completed the ceremony.”

Trip nodded and a silence fell between them. “We’d better get headed back. The Cap’n’ll be getting worried about us.”

T’Pol nodded in solemn agreement and the two of them made their way back toward the Shuttlepod.

************

“What was that?”

T’Pol turned to look behind him. “What was what, Trip?”

“Didn’ you hear that? It sounded like somebody following us.”

Her eyebrows furrowed. “You must be imagining things. I heard nothing.”

“The hell you didn’,” Trip mumbled.

T’Pol paused, about to say something, but thought better of it, returning her gaze to the path in front of them. Suddenly, she heard a loud expletive and felt something heavy land on top of her, sending her to the ground.

“Damn! I’m sorry, T’Pol.” Trip rolled off of her, letting out another expletive as he clutched his ankle.

“Are you all right?”

“Yeah, just peachy. What th’ hell does it look like?”

T’Pol reached out a hand, tenderly feeling his ankle. Trip drew in a sharp breath. “Sonuvabitch!” he cursed.

“It appears to be broken. We should get you back to the Shuttlepod and splint it. Your ankle is beginning to swell. Can you stand?” T’Pol offered Trip a hand, but he waved it away, attempting to get up on his own. His attempt was unsuccessful and he crumpled to the ground, a sharp cry indicating the price of his pride.

T’Pol reached down, grabbing him by the arm and pulling him sharply upwards. Trip let out a cry of pain. “Easy!”

“I apologize. Put your arm around my shoulders. I will assist you to the Shuttlepod.”

Trip nodded sucking in a breath as they took their first few steps. “Damn. Jus’ my luck,” he chuckled. “My first day planetside on shoreleave and I twist my ankle.”

“Perhaps you should be more cautious in the future and look where you are walking.”

Trip bit back a curse as his injured foot encountered a rock. “Maybe there won’ be a next time.”

******

About an hour later, they reached the Shuttlepod and T’Pol opened the hatch before leading Trip inside. Trip sat down in one of the seats while T’Pol retrieved a medical kit.

“I’m afraid I don’t have the equipment to scan your injury,” T’Pol said. “We will have to return to Enterprise.”

Trip sighed. “My luck just went from bad to worse.”

“If you don’t receive medical attention, your condition could worsen,” she replied, a touch of concern in her voice.

“You make it sound like I’m dying.” T’Pol’s brows furrowed slightly and Trip sighed. “All right. Let’s get this over with.”

T’Pol nodded, picking up a communicator and flipping it open, holding her thumb to the button. “=/\=T’Pol to Archer.=/\=”

A moment later, a reply came through. “=/\=Archer here. Everything okay, T’Pol?=/\=”

“=/\=Commander Tucker has sustained an injury that needs medical attention. I am returning him to Enterprise and the Doctor’s capable hands.=/\=”

“=/\=What happened?=/\=”

“=/\=I snagged my foot on a tree root, Cap’n, and broke my ankle.=/\=”

Archer chuckled. “=/\=Only you, Trip, could break your ankle on a tree root.=/\=”

“=/\=Ha, ha, Jon. Hilarious.=/\=”

“=/\=Permission to return to Enterprise, sir?=/\=”

Archer chuckled. “=/\=Permission granted, T’Pol. Good luck=/\=”

Before Trip could say another word, T’Pol flipped the communicator closed. “Beginning ascent.”

Suddenly, Trip heard something behind them and he turned only to be hit in the chest by a weapons blast, promptly passing out. The intruders aimed at T’Pol and fired, knocking her unconscious as well. The taller man tapped a communication device in his pocket and the five of them were promptly beamed away, leaving no trace of who had been there.

Part II of Paradise Lost.

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A whole mess of folks have made comments

The story's fine, just cut out all that noisey header at the top. I know you want your reader to be informed but most people who read Fan fic already know who plays who on the show.

The story's fine, just cut out all that noisey header at the top. I know you want your reader to be informed but most people who read Fan fic already know who plays who on the show.

Really good beginning, gina. Poor Trip just can't seem to get lucky on away missions. A broken ankle tripping over a tree root, LOL! And then the poor guy gets shot! Just remember, this is a TnT site. You're allowed to mistreat him all ya want, but ya can't kill him off! One suggestion. The way you're writing his dialect could get cumbersome if he has any long speeches to do. You might want to tone it down a bit.

Good start. Can't wait to see what happens next to Trip and T'Pol. Poor, poor Trip. He really needs to quit going off the ship, LOL.

I don't understand why it's necessary to have all that stuff at the beginning; if you were writing a screenplay possibly, but this is fanfic and I would have thought written in prose style. I'm also puzzled as to why you felt it necessary to
bracket communicator dialogue the way you did.
I concur with comments about the written dialect, plus 'dying' is not spelled 'dieing'.

This fic has a lot of promise, although I could do without another Trip the crip episode. Also, along with cumbersome, some of Trip's dialogue spelled out phonetically just doesn't ring true, and I should know, my family has lived in Georgia and Tennessee for all the generations since we came over from Ireland.
Aside to STC; it's nice to see someone else correcting fic spelling.

Yow! The other reviewers are harsh. I was really enjoying the dialect and like the communicator symbols. Keep them. This series sound promising!

I very much enjoyed this opening to an Enterprise continuation - I say the more the merrier! As many authors as we can get continuing Enterprise the better!!

I didn't really get tripped up on the dialect all that much, but Distracted's right that if he has any really long drawn out lines, it's going to get a bit cumbersome.

The symbols indicating communicator-talk is fine and IMO once it's established as to what it means, it helps the reader to visualize better, just make sure you're consistent... In the beginnign when Archer and Mayweather were talking over the Comm., that should probably be in symbols too.

I admire the realness of the conflict you've managed to bring to Trip and T'Pol....Trip isn't jumping at every chance to get alone with T'Pol and T'Pol isn't exactly wretching at the thought of being alone with Trip... There's some anti-cliche-character'ering going on that I like, it's a nice change of pace... long as you're a TnT'er at heart and things work out eventually! ;)

Also, the buddy-talk between Archer and Trip felt real unlike many I've ready, it wasn't too sappy and the drunken Trip was a cold slap of reality, in a lot of fanfic Trip doesn't always show evident faults.

Good writing!

Very good start to what I hope will be a series. I liked the dialogue very much -- found it quite realistic and in keeping with the characters. I also like that you've given Trip a bit of a rough edge here. It wouldn't be surprising given what he's been through if he's having trouble being saintly right now! If you'll forgive one small nitpick . . . you have Trip letting out "explicatives" when you probably meant "expletive" (I think an explicative is an explanation!) It didn't detract from the story though, just gave me a small chuckle. I'm very much looking forward to the next chapter!

I agree with the two posts above. I think this writing is fresh and better than average.

Another thought about dialect. Conner's Southern accent is faked, just like James Doohan's Scottish accent. So we can't say its written wrong by referring to today's Florida or Tennessee accents. The show is the correct reference, and I think you're doing great. Also many of us fanfic writers are from the North or even outside the U.S. So back up and give us some space to try this. Personally I'm about to post something of inferior quality.

Freshest line: "It int what you think, Jon. She hardly looks at me anymore." That made me sit up and take notice and want to read on. T'Pol's reaction very understandable after a tragedy as is Trip's heavy drinking.

ginaR, please stay and write some more!

I love the very realistic angst in the Trip and Archer scene. I agree with Ann Norman. The line, "It int what you think, Jon. She hardly looks at me anymore." was excellent, and made me say "ouch".

I'm not a big fan of trying to depict Trip's accent so perfectly. I find it hard to read at times. I think that everyone's mind will apply his accent to the dialogue. This is just my pet peeve though. I'm sure many don't feel this way.

I'm definitely looking forward to reading the continuation, especially after that cliffhanger! :)

I enjoyed this story very much and look forward to the next part. I found it refreshing and not overly sappy and dramatic.

Nice start. I agree with THE CURSER though, but get the rest out soon!

Interesting start. Don't sweat the spelling - we all screw it up from time to time (dictionary.com might be helpful) "...She hardly looks at me anymore." = great line. The "t'hyla" conversation seemed to sour Trip's playful mood quite a bit - Hmmm. Looking forward to seeing how they handle their abduction - although Trip's a liability, yet again. **sigh**

Please, continue your story soon!

-j

p.s. Any chance the three mysterious figures are, in fact, three concerned TripT'Polers whisking the commanders away to a couples' retreat for marraige counseling?

Nice job, can't wait to see where you take this! (I'm not gonna nitpick - you've got enough of that already!) Keep 'em coming! :)

Interesting start. Hope you continue this story soon!

Besides, Connor actually said at Dragon Con this year he was doing an Oklahoma accent, so he was disappointed when they made Trip from Florida.

Cute start - Poor, Trip - he's got such bad karma when it comes to Risa - and now T'Pol's going down with him (well, we can hope, right?) Please send more! the natives are restless and sustenance is becoming scarce!

p.s. [two_cents]...I thought the accent was supposedly based upon relations (relatives) CT has in northern Arkansas (up in them thar hills)... [/two_cents]

Great start.,,,, Ya actualy wrote a scene that didnt have me hatin Archer,,, The one with him an Trip an Archer was just beini a good friend for once.,, Somethin Ithink the writers threw out the window way to much on the show.

Im a bit conflicted,, over one part,,, It seems that Yer havin T'pol gettin closer to Trip after Lizzy's death.,,,, And Ya have her even tell Trip that their basicaly married,,,,,, so why dosnt she want to ever repeat what happened in "Harbinger"?,,, Is she affraid of loosin all control,,,, Or is she tryin to distance herself from Trip,, even though their bonded/Married?

An Im really wonderin who abducted them?,,, I cant wait for your next update.,, Great job,, Ya got me hooked.

It is a very good start, I am anxious to read the following chapters. Good work....T