Logic, Inescapable Part VIII: Grace

Logic, Inescapable

By HopefulRomantic

Rating: PG
Disclaimer: See Part I
Website: http://www.geocities.com/hopeful_romantic@prodigy.net/
E-mail: Hopeful_Romantic@prodigy.net
Summary: A pivotal conversation between T’Les and Tucker.
Date: 2-6-07

A/N: My thanks to the Vulcan Language Institute (http://home.teleport.com/~vli/vlif.htm) for details about Vulcan wedding rites. Thanks also to my betas TJ, boushh, and Stephanie.

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Part VIII: Grace

by HopefulRomantic

Tucker stood obediently as T’Les finished fastening the collar of his jacket, but he nevertheless appeared uncomfortable. She wondered if his unease was due to the Vulcan robes he wore— which suited him much more agreeably than he seemed to realize— or the impending ceremony, or both.

Lightly, she touched his shoulders, and her suspicions were confirmed. Beneath his quiescent demeanor, she sensed a roiling desert storm of emotions: self-consciousness, frustration, apprehension, doubt... and as she suspected, love.

To ease his uncertainty, she said, “These clothes belonged to my husband. They fit you well.” She hoped he understood the meaning behind her words: You are worthy of them.

Evidently she succeeded, for Tucker seemed reassured enough to speak of what troubled him. “Aren't you bothered by the fact that T'Pol doesn't even care for this guy?”

“She's fulfilling her family obligation,” T’Les replied. It was unfortunate, she reflected, that T’Pol’s aversion for Koss did not bode well for a marriage of any measure of contentment for her. Perhaps Koss’s affection for her would win her over... eventually...

T’Les saw Tucker’s face fall; perhaps he saw something of T’Les’s wistful thoughts betrayed in her eyes. Quickly, she looked away. “I met my husband only once before we were joined,” she said. “In time, we developed a deep connection to each other.”

This time, Tucker did not seem mollified. He turned back to the small mirror to check the collar of his jacket. “Yeah, well, maybe she'd rather make a connection with someone else.”

T’Les could not help but admire Tucker’s quiet defiance in the face of what he believed to be a situation he could no longer alter. Now was her opportunity to tell him otherwise. “Have you informed T'Pol?” she asked.

He was still preoccupied with his collar clasp. “Informed her of what?”

“That you're in love with her.”

Startled, Tucker turned to stare at her, as if he thought she had somehow plucked the knowledge from his mind. T’Les would have been amused, if the circumstances were not so painful for him. “Vulcans may not express their emotions, but we are sensitive to them,” she explained.

Tucker nodded resignedly in confirmation. “I don't think I knew it until we were standing over that lava field, and she told me she was going to marry Koss,” he confessed quietly. “That's when it hit me that I was going to lose her.”

T’Les had never seen so sorrowful an acknowledgment of affection. Tucker continued, “I wanted to tell her right there...” He forced a smile, but it was melancholy, filled with regret. “But I couldn’t.”

Now he was the one who looked away, unwilling for T’Les to see the emotion he could not hide. She stepped behind him, giving his emotion privacy as she pondered the questions his words had raised. If Tucker was not yet ready to tell T’Pol of his love for her, was he prepared to weather the scrutiny that would come with halting this wedding and publicly acknowledging his relationship with her? Would joining his life to hers bring them contentment, or misery? What was the best course?

T’Les could not live their lives for them; the choice must be theirs. But Tucker needed to know that a choice remained.

She returned to his side. “There's still time.”

Tucker was, if anything, even more caught off guard by this latest declaration. Amid the astonishment and confusion on his face, there appeared a flicker of hope. “I thought you didn't approve,” he said uncertainly.

T’Les chose her words carefully. It would not be wise for her to publicly support this relationship, only to have unwanted attention focused on the family. T’Pol and Tucker would have more than enough to manage without the added complication of an investigation into T’Les’s “nonconformist” views. “I may not condone your relationship, but it's important for her to have all the facts.”

For an instant, she saw Tucker’s hope buoyed up by the potential for joy now extended toward him, waiting only for him to seize it. But as T’Les watched, he hesitated, slowly shaking his head. “If I say anything, T'Pol might call off the wedding.” With a touch of wryness, he added, “Or worse, not call it off.” Finally his face settled into an unresisting acceptance of something inescapable. He gave T’Les a faint smile of infinite grace. “She's got enough pressure on her as it is. I don't want to make things any more complicated.”

T’Les regarded him for a long moment in silence. He had surprised her yet again, for the most honorable of reasons. Tucker was indeed an uncommon human if he could sacrifice the chance for a lifetime of happiness, in support of T’Pol’s wish to do what was right and proper for her family. T’Les was impressed beyond measure... and saddened as well.

Out in the sand garden, the ceremonial gong sounded: Koss was formally announcing the arrival of the male’s clan, according to the ancient rites. The wedding ritual had begun.

T’Les left the guest room ahead of Tucker, giving him a moment alone with his heartache, and his grief. T’Pol was not dead, but for Tucker, the pain of her loss as a mate would be nearly as deep.

If circumstances were different...

T’Les wished they were.

Part IX

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