Changing of the Guard

Changing of the Guard

by Kevin

Rating: PG-13 (partial nudity)
Disclaimer: The characters mentioned within this text are the sole property of Paramount Studios, UPN, and Viacom. I intend no infringement.
Genre: Drama, Friendship
Summary: Trip detects a distinct change in T’Pol’s behavior and struggles with his response. This story takes place at the end of “E2” and continues early into “The Council”.

Author’s Note: The first scene takes place before the last scene in my story The Struggle Within. You may wish to read that story in order for this one to make complete sense. Like The Struggle Within, this story is a prequel to my other story Hanging on a Limb.

Trip watched the various readouts as Rostov slowly diverted the energy stream away from the useless isomagnetic coupler. Under normal conditions this would have been a quick and routine change. However, Enterprise was so shot up, nothing in engineering was quick and routine any more. Since they had to avoid exposing any undetected damage, each operation had to be performed with great care.

“Just a little more,” Trip said to him. In a few seconds the readouts indicated energy had been completely diverted around the damaged device. All that remained was to use the overhead crane to remove it.

Trip watched Rostov move out from behind the coupler and stand up. “How’s it look, chief?”

Trip quickly reviewed the diagnostics and saw no problems that didn’t already exist. “Everything looks as good as when we put it in.” Trip turned and leaned back against the console, sighed and turned his neck trying to ease the tension. He was exhausted–as was his staff–at least those still able to work. Only a little over half his staff was strong enough to work a shift and Phlox cleared only about a third to work double shifts.

Captain Archer was pushing them hard to be able to get some council meeting but his people were running on fumes.

Rostov wiped his hands and came up next to Trip. “You look beat… Why don’t you crash in my quarters?” Rostov said with a smile.

Trip shook his head. “Too much work to do.”

“That’s what you get for having a window,” Rostov said with a chuckle. Trip knew he was teasing him. “I’m only two doors down and my quarters are just fine… If it wasn’t for that window…”

“Drop it,” Trip cut him off with a smile. “I know my window’s cracked, you don’t have to remind me.” Trip knew he scowled as he looked toward the floor. After everything that happened and everything he’d been forced to do, weapons fire cracked his window causing a breech that prevented him from entering his quarters. He pretty much just had the clothes on his back.

“So,” Rostov dropped his voice and regained Trip’s attention, “how’s T’Pol doing?”

Trip tilted his head and glared at Rostov. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Rostov shrugged his shoulders. “You know… How’s T’Pol dealing with… you know… the fact you two got married and had a kid?” Rostov was grinning at him.

Trip slumped his shoulders. “That was the other ones… not us.” Trip realized it actually hurt to say that.

“That’s got to be hilarious,” Rostov said and Trip could tell he barely contained his laughter. Apparently he couldn’t pick up on the fact that Trip didn’t want to talk about this.

Out of the corner of his eye Trip watched as T’Pol walked toward him with a PADD in her hand. “Hey T’Pol,” Trip said to her as she approached.

Trip heard Rostov finally laugh. “Very funny, chief,” Rostov said as he returned his attention to the console. “You’re not getting me on that one again… Fool me once.”

Trip grinned as T’Pol stopped near him but just out of Rostov’s sight. Trip noticed she looked… antsy… and held the PADD to her chest as her eyes darted around. He doubted anyone else could have detected the subtle change in her behavior. Something was definitely wrong with her.

“Anyway,” Trip heard Rostov continue, “I imagine she’s got to be pretty freaked out.” Trip heard him chuckle again. “I mean… I figured if she ever demeaned”, Trip noticed Rostov straighten up and wiggle his head mocking her, “herself to marry a Human, I always thought it would’ve been the Captain. You must have driven her nuts!”

Trip tried to keep a straight face as T’Pol’s expression changed into a slight frown and she stepped around into Rostov’s field of view. Sometimes Rostov really put his foot in his mouth and this time he’d stepped into it with both feet.

“Vulcans do not ‘freak out’”, she calmly said to him.

Trip couldn’t hold back his laughter at the face Rostov made as T’Pol glared at him. Rostov tried to sputter out a few things but eventually had no success at forming anything intelligible to say.

Trip decided to finally bail him out. “Why don’t you get the crane set up… We need to get that thing out of here.”

“Yes, sir,” Rostov finally sputtered out and looked away from T’Pol. In a second, he was gone. Trip hoped Rostov was paying enough attention that he remembered to move the overhead crane into position. He didn’t want to have to go hunting Rostov down only to find him hiding out somewhere T’Pol wouldn’t find him.

Trip took a deep breath, put a straight face back on and turned his attention to T’Pol. He felt a massive headache coming on. “What’s up?” He noticed that, unlike usual, she avoided eye contact with him.

He tilted his head slightly to one side and stood there with his hands on his hips.

“I have something to discuss with you in private,” she finally replied in a very quiet voice. He noticed she still had not made eye contact.

“Sure, let’s go in my office.” Trip found he had to walk faster than normal to keep up with her. She sure seemed in a hurry to get there.

Once they arrived in his office and he closed the door, he took a seat at his desk. T’Pol seemed almost to twist in the corner. Her behavior was definitely abnormal. He decided to wait for her and not push. Lately, pushing her only led to an argument and he just didn’t have the energy to argue with her right now.

“Degra’s ship has just docked,” she said.

Trip scrunched his face. “You didn’t need to tell me that in private.” When she closed her eyes and he saw her jaw clench he was pretty sure that wasn’t the real purpose of coming to his office.

“Of course not.” Trip saw her eyes open and she made eye contact with him for the first time since arriving. She approached his desk and said, “I desire your assistance on a personal matter.”

Trip was stunned. He swallowed to try to get rid of the lump in his throat and took a deep breath. “Sure… Anything,” he said as he stood up. He wasn’t sure it was a good idea but he came around the desk and stood in front of her. “Whatever you need… I’m here.” He didn’t touch her, as he wasn’t sure that was a good idea right now.

“I am having difficulty sleeping… It has affected my meditation routine.”

Trip looked into her brown eyes and saw… he wasn’t sure what he saw… If he didn’t know better, she seemed very uncomfortable. He did know what she was asking. He wasn’t sure he was comfortable performing neuropressure on her, but he did owe her and he would overcome his problems to help her.

“Of course I’ll help… You know I’d do anything for you.”

“Thank you… There is another posture that I need to teach you that is used for severe cases,” she said.

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me you were having problems?” He growled at her. “Why’d you wait until it became severe? You told me you were fine.”

T’Pol lifted her brown eyes to him and her look melted all of his anger away.

“It is… difficult for a Vulcan to ask for the assistance of another… especially for something I should be able to handle myself…”

“And probably even harder to ask a Human… Especially one… you know…” Trip hoped he didn’t have to complete that sentence.

Fortunately T’Pol must have recognized his discomfort and just nodded.

Trip slumped his shoulders and leaned toward her. “I understand,” he said softly but still avoiding touching her. “Still, you should have asked me. I could’ve dealt with it.”

Trip noticed a sudden change in her demeanor. She straightened up and pulled the PADD back to her chest. In response, Trip straightened himself back up and gave her a bit more room. He also noticed whatever emotions he had seen in her eyes were now gone. She just looked at him with that same blank look he remembered from before their journey into the Expanse.

“I am going to get some… food… before meeting with the Captain and Degra. Would you care to join me?”

Trip smiled at the way she used the term “food” to describe the emergency rations. He shook his head and said, “I can’t… Rostov and I need to get rid of the isomagnetic coupler… I don’t know how long that will take.”

T’Pol just nodded in response.

Trip looked back down at his desk. “How about I come by at 2100 hours? That’ll give us time to remove the coupler and for me to grab something to eat and clean up a bit.”

“That would be agreeable,” T’Pol replied and started back out the door.

Just before she left, Trip got her attention again. “If you’re meeting with the Captain, tell him we got lucky with the isomagnetic coupler.”

T’Pol turned and asked, “how so?”

Trip shrugged. “The damn thing overloaded and shut off before we got to the corridor… One of the phaser hits must have overloaded it.” Trip grinned and shrugged again. “I guess we should have expected something like that… We cobbled the thing together in a few hours.”

“You mean?” she asked.

“Yep,” Trip nodded his reply. “We passed through the corridor without it being operational… We just got lucky.”

Trip noticed an odd expression come over her face and then just as quickly it disappeared. “2100 hours then.”

“2100 hours then,” Trip nodded and watched her leave.

Trip sat in his office looking at the schematics for the isomagnetic coupler after checking the chronometer to see he had twenty minutes before he agreed to meet T’Pol. Almost immediately upon reviewing them and the calculations something started to bother him but he hadn’t had time to think about it until today. He scratched the back of his neck after going through the detailed calculations.

The information was… strangely familiar. The calculations were long and detailed and he recognized immediately they were T’Pol’s work. He was a bit surprised how quickly she was able to complete them. Then again, he’d never actually watched her perform calculations before, so it was possible she was much faster than he realized.

But something still wasn’t quite right.

Everything before him was supposed to be T’Pol’s work… but it didn’t quite appear to be T’Pol’s work. For a while this morning he thought it was actually Lorian’s work but he eventually dismissed that idea knowing Lorian did not believe going through the corridor could work. He couldn’t believe Lorian would work out the details of modifying Enterprise to pass through the corridor if he didn’t feel it was feasible.

Suddenly the answer to his question dawned on him. The schematics were… his. The notations on the isometric drawing were his. No one on the ship used them. Often he identified spare and non-essential parts of the ship that could be used to replace more essential components. Those notations allowed him to quickly gather the materials needed to assemble the isomagnetic coupler. It should have been obvious to him. Once thrown back in time, he and T’Pol would have tried to work out ways to correct their mistake so they could pass their experience on to the generations that followed.

If that were true, the schematics and calculations had to be more than a century old. The only question that remained was who would have known about this work and given it to T’Pol? Certainly not Lorian.

A sharp pain at the back of his head confirmed something he’d started to suspect. T’Pol gave it to T’Pol… She was still alive on the other Enterprise. His eyes started to water and a lump formed in this throat. He couldn’t find any other explanation. Although Trip didn’t know how old T’Pol actually was, he had a pretty good idea she was young for a Vulcan and might possibly have lived another 120 years.

Trip leaned back and ran his fingers through his hair. T’Pol was just across an airlock from him and she never contacted him. Why not? And why didn’t the Captain tell him? He was over there for some time then gently discouraged Trip from going over there to look at how the more than century old engine held up. Instead the Captain kept him occupied on board with Lorian.

Only one person could answer his question right now. He knew T’Pol went over to the other ship at least twice. The only thing that made sense was she and her older counterpart worked out the details of their plan aboard the other Enterprise.

He wanted to know why the older T’Pol married his counterpart and had a happy marriage according to Lorian, but didn’t even want him to know she was still alive? He shook his head, stood up and headed to T’Pol’s quarters.

He wondered if T’Pol would even tell him or if she’d make up some lie. That made him debate even bringing it up with her.

Shortly the moment of truth arrived and he was outside her door. He pressed her chime and said, “Hey, T’Pol, is now still a good time?”

“Yes, Commander. Enter,” was her simple reply and he opened the door.

Trip entered her quarters and heard the door close after him. Once his eyes adjusted to the soft candlelight he silently took in the sight before him. T’Pol was kneeling a short distance in front of him, lit by the soft glow of a candle off to her left.

Trip swallowed hard and felt his palms get moist as he tried hard not to stare at her chest. She only had the top button of her pajama top fastened. The material separated away to reveal the inner bottoms of her breasts. It brought a flashback to when she dropped her robe and they were right at his eye level. He felt himself get semi hard just standing before her.

This was going to be more difficult than he realized.

Trip kicked off his boots, sat down and leaned his back against T’Pol’s bunk. “We need to talk first,” he said.

T’Pol just looked at him.

He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry about what I said three days ago… If we would’ve been thrown back in time, I’m not sure who else I would have wanted… You’re my best friend.” Trip felt a warm flush come over his face and he hoped T’Pol couldn’t make it out in the dim light. “I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have said what I said… I was just…” he darted his eyes away from her, “hurt and I took it out on you.”

T’Pol was silent for some time as she looked down at the floor. “I understand… Our situation is… awkward.”

For the first time in weeks, Trip felt like smiling when she looked at him. “Yeah… I’ll admit I went a little overboard with Lorian and finding out we… I mean our counterparts… got married… That was kind of weird?”

Trip noticed T’Pol seemed to consider something. He decided to let her think and not interrupt her train of thought.

“Their marriage was not logical...” That statement stunned Trip and he didn’t know what to say. “Passing your genetic material onto the next generation should have been a priority,” she continued. “Since there was no known way for a Human and a Vulcan to produce offspring, their marriage effectively removed your genes from the next generation.”

Trip wasn’t sure how to take her statement. She almost made him sound like… a bull whose only job was to get cows pregnant. It sounded too… condescending… even for her.

“But they had Lorian,” he replied.

T’Pol shook her head slightly. “They had no way of knowing that outcome would occur.”

Trip considered her statement. He took a deep breath and decided it was time to come clean. “You were right,” he said softly.

“About?”

Trip looked down at the floor. “I can’t have a physical relationship without an emotional attachment… I know you act like that’s a bad thing… and I know you wanted to find out more about ‘Human sexual relations’, but…” Trip gathered up all his courage and looked her in the eyes. “I can’t do that.” He paused for a bit in his attempt to go farther. “I could only have sex with someone I cared about.”

When he was done, he just looked into her eyes. He saw them flicker away for a moment before they returned to his.

“I apologize for my actions,” she replied.

Trip was confused. “What for?” He couldn’t believe she would actually admit lying to him. She was a horrible liar but he couldn’t believe she’d actually confess her deception.

“I wished to explore Human sexuality and naturally you were the only choice…” Trip was a little shocked to hear her admit he was her only choice. “I assumed you would be receptive yet discrete enough to keep my exploration a secret… I did not pause to consider the… emotional… repercussions of my decision. For that I am sorry.”

Trip ran his fingers through his hair. He was still pretty conflicted about that whole night. “That’s okay… I’m not sure I could have said no anyway… You were pretty great for a first timer,” he teased her. He noticed she cocked her eyebrow at him. Of course he also knew her whole story was a complete load of garbage. He refused to believe it was nothing more than a coincidence they just happened to have sex at their very next neuropressure session once T’Pol found out about he and Amanda. He wondered just how stupid she actually thought he was.

But he didn’t see the point in calling her on it, so he didn’t. It wasn’t likely to accomplish anything other than starting another fight.

“So, you ready to get started?” He asked.

“Yes, please… disrobe.” Trip realized she must have recognized the confused look on his face. “You will not have the range of motion necessary with your uniform.”

Trip realized if he removed his uniform, he’d be there just in his boxer briefs. He’d left his tank top in the storage locker after he cleaned up.

“Okay,” Trip said. He stood up and turned his back to her as he removed his uniform. He willed himself out of the bulge that was forming in his shorts. T’Pol would probably see it as soon as he turned around.

When Trip turned around it was to face T’Pol kneeling, topless, in front of him. He had been so focused on his “problem”, he didn’t hear her remove her top.

Trip swallowed hard. Trying to hide his growing erection was probably going to be impossible.

Apparently T’Pol must have recognized his stunned expression. “After our… encounter… covering my chest would be pointless… You know what I look like.”

“But still…” Trip managed to get out.

“Covering my breasts during the posture is uncomfortable and does not allow me to relax properly. I would prefer to relax my arms as the posture specifies while you proceed… If that is acceptable?”

Trip just nodded. He had to agree with her logic… somewhat. The image of her nude body was etched in his memory and would never leave. Covering up did seem kind of pointless. Still, he didn’t think this was such a good idea. “Would you be more comfortable lying on your front, like I do sometimes?” Trip felt his self-control starting to falter.

T’Pol shook her head slightly. Trip gulped as her breasts shook slightly at the same time.

This was going to be much more difficult than he expected.

“Lying on my chest is very uncomfortable…” Trip noticed she looked away just then. “As you can probably understand.”

Even with everything going on, Trip still struggled back a smile. He realized it probably would be pretty uncomfortable given their size and firmness. He took a deep breath and decided he’d just deal with the situation. And deal with his “problem” later in private…

Trip moved behind her. He quickly ran his palms along the floor to get rid of some of the moisture. “Okay, it’s been a while, so you’ll need to remind me.”

After the first pressure point, Trip regained most of his composure as he focused only on the task at had. When he placed his fingertips at the second point, he felt T’Pol… shaking… or most likely shivering. For the first time he noticed her skin had goose pimples. He looked over her shoulder and down her front to confirm his theory.

Trip slumped his shoulders. T’Pol was sitting there freezing. “You’re freezing, aren’t you?”

T’Pol nodded. “Since the Xindi attack, the environmental controls do not seem to be functioning normally… My quarters are… cold.”

Trip looked down at her bare back. He could almost see her shivering in front of him. He felt bad about it, but there wasn’t much he could do. The environmental controls were running about as hard as they could without risking an air recycler. If they lost another one, there would be parts of the ship they’d simply have to abandon because they couldn’t maintain an atmosphere everywhere.

“I can deal with the discomfort for now,” she added.

Trip frowned. She shouldn’t have to deal with it. Being topless was only making it worse for her. He looked around her room. He didn’t want her sitting in front of him shivering just so he could help her sleep. He saw the heavy blanket on her bed but didn’t recall ever seeing it before. She must have been using it to make sure she was warm enough as she slept.

That gave him an idea. He absentmindedly smoothed his hands across her bare back as he stood up. “Hold on a second,” said as he walked to the bed.

“What are you doing Commander?”

He ignored her question until he picked up the blanket and turned back toward her. “I’m not letting you sit there shaking because you’re cold.” He sat back down a bit closer to T’Pol and wrapped the blanket around them so that she was completely covered from the neck down, but he could still properly apply pressure since he was beneath the blanket with her. Trip felt her hands grasp the blanket and pull it a bit tighter around them.

Without being able to see her back, he had to find the proper place by feel. He felt her shudder slightly as he ran his fingers down her spine counting the vertebrae. He smirked as he remembered just how sensitive her upper spine was. He probably shouldn’t have just done that. “How’s that?”

“A little lower,” she breathed. “Lower… there… harder…” she continued giving him instruction until he heard her exhale and felt a slight shudder again that meant he’d completed this point. She guided him through the rest of the points along her back until they were finished with this posture.

Even though he completed his task, he just sat there with the blanket around them. He figured he’d give her a chance to warm up before they moved on. That and he was desperately trying to control himself. The back of her neck and the very tips of her ears were so close to him. It took considerable effort not to lean over and run his lips and tongue over the back of her neck and gently lick and suck the tips of her ears. He remembered that seemed to make her melt in his arms before.

“Is there a reason why we are just sitting here?” T’Pol asked and distracted him from his daydream of her squirming in his lap while he licked and sucked on her ears.

Trip shook his head to clear his thoughts. “I just figured I’d give you some time to warm up again.”

Apparently she agreed with his decision because she did not immediately reply.

After a few moments she said, “We should proceed to the next posture,” and removed the blanket wrapped around them. Trip saw the goose pimples were gone.

“Okay, what’s next?” he asked.

“Kneel on the floor with your thighs together,” T’Pol directed him after turning to face him.

Trip did as she asked and then she lay on her back before moving her head and upper back onto his thighs. He remembered lying on her thighs in a similar position. He thought that position was… the most uncomfortable… until this one. A lump formed in his throat and he tried hard to swallow with the heat radiating off her head just a scant few centimeters away from his groin. Looking down into her deep brown eyes staring straight up at him and her nipples pointing up to the ceiling only made his situation that much more… tenuous.

“Place the tips of your fingers right here,” she directed by pointing to the correct location.

Trip moved his fingers to where she told him. He found it difficult to control his nervousness while his wrists rubbed across the sides of T’Pol’s breasts as she directed him to the appropriate point. There simply was no way to apply pressure to the exact point she wanted without brushing up against them.

He actually felt his bulge pull his shorts away from his body. He was certain his face had to be pink with embarrassment at this point.

“Take deep breaths just like I taught you and focus on my words,” T’Pol said to him.

Trip was a bit startled at her direction. “What are you talking about?”

“I can tell you are highly aroused by this posture, but you need to put your body’s reaction out of your mind and focus on the posture… Just like I taught you.”

Trip swallowed hard. He couldn’t imagine how she knew how hard he was. Although her head was not that far from his groin, she still shouldn’t be able to see it in this position.

“I can always tell when you become aroused during our neuropressure sessions… Your scent intensifies.”

He forgot that she was looking right at him and must have figured out his confusion. He was sure his face turned bright red.

“There is no reason for you to be embarrassed,” she continued. “It is a simple biological reaction.”

That didn’t help much but Trip decided to focus on her words and took deep calming breaths. When he returned his focus, he saw the goose pimples on her skin again, even though she wasn’t shivering… yet.

“Oh geez,” he said and stood up after gently lifting her head off his thighs.

“What are you doing, Commander,” she asked.

He didn’t answer and just picked up the heavy blanket and pulled it over the two of them. He rearranged the two of them in the dark under the blanket. “There, that should keep you warm.”

“It is dark,” she replied. “And there is no air supply.”

Trip smiled to himself in the pitch-black environment. “This won’t take long and it’ll keep you warm. Just direct me.” When he reached down though, the idea didn’t actually turn out as well as he first thought. His left hand ran across T’Pol’s nipple and his right hand brushed the side of her breast.

“Lower,” she said.

“I kind of figured that,” he replied both in a huff and with a grin. T’Pol directed him to the right spot and he applied pressure for probably 15 seconds or so until she told him to discontinue.

With both of them under the heavy blanket, the air soon became pretty stuffy. The heat generated while they were under the blanket was now too much for him and he had to get out from under it. He lifted T’Pol’s head off his thighs, set it down on a pillow and moved the blanket to cover her from the neck down. He leaned back on the pillow he sat on before and took a deep breath. It was nice to breath cool, fresh air again.

T’Pol kept herself covered by the blanket and turned to sit back upright again. She sat next to him with the blanket wrapped around her.

“If you turn around, I will perform the postures on you to help you sleep,” she said.

Trip shook his head. “Thanks, but you don’t have to do that… I’ve been sleeping like a baby.”

“Are you certain? It is no inconvenience,” she said.

Trip nodded as he caught an odd look from T’Pol. He decided he needed to get his coveralls and leave. He wasn’t sure where this was going but he didn’t want to be hurt again. If she was looking for another exploration, he was rapidly reaching the point where saying no would not be an option for him.

During the session he realized they had shifted places a bit and were now much closer to his coveralls than before. T’Pol was less than a meter behind him as he pulled them up to his thighs.

Just then Trip heard what sounded like T’Pol inhaling very deeply behind him.

He quickly turned to look at her and saw T’Pol had leaned toward him with her eyes closed. She began to open them just as he heard her start to take another deep breath. Almost as soon as she started to inhale, she stopped and her eyes flew open. “You okay?”

T’Pol’s eyes quickly flittered away from him. Under the soft flickering light from the candles, it almost appeared as if her face started to… glow.

“Yes, Commander… I was merely… taking cleansing breaths to further relax myself.”

Trip fought back a smile. That’s not what it sounded like at all. “You going to be okay now?”

T’Pol nodded. “Yes… Thank you.”

“Well okay, then,” Trip said. “Good night.”

“Good night Commander,” T’Pol said and Trip let himself out the door.

Trip spent the time walking back to his office thinking about T’Pol’s behavior this evening. To call it… strange… would be an understatement. She seemed more… open… or possibly more… emotional… but in a friendly way. His head hurt about her being apparently comfortable about being topless in front of him. He’d always been given little sneak peeks but tonight she didn’t even attempt to cover up. That was his idea so she wouldn’t be so cold.

Trip took a deep breath and scratched his head as he turned another corner on his way to engineering. Of course, it could also be she was completely truthful with him. It was entirely possible covering up not only was uncomfortable for her, but also prevented her from properly relaxing for the posture. For some reason he didn’t believe that for a minute. Or at least he didn’t believe that was the only reason.

Oh hell! He realized she so completely distracted him, he hadn’t had a chance to ask her about the other T’Pol. Maybe it’s just as well? He wasn’t sure she’d actually be truthful with him anyway. If the other T’Pol was on the other Enterprise and T’Pol did spend time with her and the other one didn’t contact him, there must have been a reason. If so, he figured she probably wouldn’t divulge that reason and probably not even the fact the other T’Pol was… had been… still alive.

When Trip arrived in his office, he sat down and had no idea how he was going to sleep after that experience and with all the thoughts jumbled around in his head.

Trip took a seat in a hidden part of the mess hall. He was surrounded by debris, which meant he was alone–just as he wanted. He had a feeling he’d had worse days but to be honest, he couldn’t remember one.

It started off when he pulled a muscle shortly after 0600 and the day went down hill from there. After he’d returned from sickbay, he found his crew standing around talking to each other. Someone had taken it upon himself or herself to do an inventory and came to the same conclusion Trip had shared with the Captain two days ago. The mission was now a one-way trip–they couldn’t return home. They had neither enough anti-matter nor enough food to reach Earth.

Even if they started now, they couldn’t make it back before running out of one or the other. Choose a speed that matched their anti-matter supplies and they ran out of food long before reaching home. Choose a speed that matched their food supplies and they exhausted their anti-matter even faster.

Trip gave the standard speech telling them the fate of the people back home mattered more than their fate. Earth was counting on them and needed Enterprise to succeed in convincing the Xindi not to launch the weapon. Stopping the weapon was all that mattered. He knew his crew was professional enough that they’d do their duty. He also knew they were human… and scared… so he cut them some slack and disappeared to let them come to grips with their discovery. Before he left, he extracted a promise not to tell anyone else. Morale was bad enough as it was.

He did not share that he and Archer we already working out a way to save what remained of the crew. Their first option was to beg anti-matter and food from the Xindi. Trip pretty much dismissed that option like he dismissed the idea of the Xindi voluntarily destroying the weapon that Captain Archer clung to. The second option was to head to Andoria. Even if they remained where they were for another five weeks, they would have enough supplies to reach the planet. Trip knew they would be intercepted long before they got there. Given their last encounter with the Andorians, Trip assumed that option ended up with them in a prison on an ice planet–at best.

The only viable option, Trip believed, was to reduce speed, cut rations and head to the most distant Vulcan outpost listed in their database. It would mean many, many months before returning home but at least the plan was realistic and the Vulcans weren’t likely to put them in prison. The planet was rich in edible foodstuffs and would surely beat the emergency rations they ate now.

With that thought, Trip looked down at his “lunch”. He wasn’t sure what it was supposed to be since he told the crewman to surprise him. After weeks of eating the emergency rations, they all tasted the same and all had the consistency of the packaging foam Starfleet used for spare parts.

Oh, goody, pepperoni pizza. That reminded him of the brief moment he shared with T’Pol two days after the attack. Neither of them were sure the slices of something orange and round were actually meat, but they picked them off her pizza just to be safe. Once he tasted them, he was fairly certain they were not meat. He assumed they were created by a chemist and not anyone like a cook or a chef who prepared real food for a living.

Taking another bite of the pizza drew his attention to T’Pol. He was certain something was wrong with her. Her mood swings were driving him nuts. Last night she practically threw herself at him being topless. She had to have known how much that turned him on and she even seemed to try to get him to stay. This morning, however, she lied to him about having a headache and practically ignored him while he was in the command center fixing a communications relay assembly.

She was driving him nuts.

Trip sighed and set his pizza down. Maybe she was telling him the truth? Maybe she was topless last night for exactly the reason she said? Her normal method of covering herself was uncomfortable and it made no sense since he’d seen them before? Seen them, licked them, sucked on them, nibbled on them, even carressed them with his cheek after having the greatest sex of his life. Maybe T’Pol was at least partially telling him the truth? Maybe her desire to have sex with him started off as nothing more than a curiosity?

That and maybe he’d go to sleep and wake up with Enterprise back as good as new and fully stocked with all the anti-matter and food they could ever need.

No, something was definitely wrong with T’Pol. His only hope was that the answer was a simple as this awful Expanse had so disrupted her sleep and meditation routine, she was falling apart. While he couldn’t make her quarters any warmer, he might be able to make sure she was warmer in her quarters. The heavy blanket didn’t help when she tried to meditate or do anything off her bed. What he needed to do was make sure she was warm regardless of what she was doing in her quarters… He only hoped they still had some of the supplies that were deemed not exactly useful before now… He hoped they still were on the ship and could provide T’Pol some measure of relief.

Later that evening Trip headed towards T’Pol’s quarters with the bundle he picked up earlier. It was just a bit before 2300 but Trip had a pretty good idea T’Pol would still be awake. He rang her chime and entered her quarters when she let him in.

Apparently it was still too cold for her in her quarters because she stood in front of him with two little hard points poking out through her robe. He found the temperature in her quarters comfortable but knew that was too cold for her.

“I brought you something,” he said as he handed the bundled over.

“What are they?” She asked as she separated the items.

“Those two are insulated underwear,” he said as he pointed to the top and pants. “And those are heavy socks.”

T’Pol just looked back up at him.

“You’ll have to wear something under the socks… They’re wool and I know how sensitive your skin is… The underwear is lined so hopefully they won’t irritate your skin.”

“What made you bring these?” She asked him.

Trip smiled. “I know it’s too cold in here for you…” Trip slumped his shoulders. “I don’t know when… or even if… we’ll be able to fix the environmental controls. I figured these would help you keep warm.”

“Thank you,” she replied.

“Well, good night,” Trip said as he started to walk away.

“Commander,” T’Pol said softly. “Would you like to stay? I can make some tea.”

He paused to consider. “Are you sleeping okay? Do you need some help again?”

T’Pol shook her head. “I was able to sleep normally last night… My meditation has been effective this evening. Thank you.”

Trip turned square to her. “I should probably be going then. As long as you’re doing okay, I need to get some sleep.” That was a bit of a lie. Trip was pretty sure he probably wasn’t going to get more than an hour or two of sleep in his office. The long list of repairs made it difficult for him to get much sleep. He was too nervous about leaving them to what was left of his overwhelmed crew.

“Good night,” he said. “Promise me if you need my help, you’ll see me?”

T’Pol just nodded and he turned to leave.

Once outside her quarters, Trip walked to engineering with a grin on his face trying to picture T’Pol in the slightly oversized underwear and heavy socks. The only thing that might have been funnier is if she were also wearing fuzzy bunny slippers.

The End

A sequel follows in Hanging on a Limb

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Nine of you have made comments

I like that a lot! T'Pol is confused, Trip is sweet, and the mental picture of T'Pol in fuzzy bunny slippers is hilarious! Thanks.

I was sort of curious about the isomagnetic coupler. They didn't need it to go through the corridor? And whose idea was it? Are you implying the other Trip worked on this and handed it off to other T'Pol?

Some of Trip's confessions to T'Pol are good, but she doesn't give much in return, huh? I was sort of hoping Trip would get a backbone and call her on it somehow. Trip's lovestruck behavior is beginning to border on the pathetic.

The ending was good with everyone doing the math about the food and antimatter supplies. That was sufficiently frightening.

In E2, T'Pol says they were only able to reduce their particle emissions by some amount and they *may* still destabilize the corridor. I did make a mistake and it should be "collector" and not "coupler", but they got lucky since it didn't work.

Trip assumes the E2-Trip and the E2-T'Pol worked on the design and calculations, but he doesn't know. I never made up my mind. It's entirely possible that E2-T'Pol adopted his notation herself and worked this up later. It's also possible that E2-T'Pol knew him well enough that this was her message to him that she had been still alive.

In Countdown, Trip blows up in T'Pol's face about her behavior. That never made any sense to me. So I wanted to build some tension here where he's frustrated with her lying to him one minute, the next minute trying to seduce him, the next minute ignoring him and then in Countdown questioning his motives. Finally it's too much for him and he let's her know he's fed up.

Very interesting. Thanks.

Well, I think it worked nicely, Kevin. With this fic, Trip's blow up in "Countdown" makes even more sense (although it actually did make sense to me simply based on the events following "Harbinger" and up to "Countdown.") One can't help but to feel for the confusion that Trip is suffering because of the hot & cold that T'Pol is constantly running.

I especially liked Rostov putting his foot in his mouth ... initially, I was going to complain that he (Rostov) should have been calling T'Pol "Sub-Commander" but since she resigned her commission, doing so would be inaccurate. Lord, how I can't stand the fraked up Enterprise command structure.

Hoping to see some more from you soon...

Just curious, Kevin: did I miss the explanation for the title? I mean, usually I'm able to figure out the reasons behind why you name your fics what you do but in this case, I feel like I'm missing it.

Apologies if I'm just being dense...

T'Pol's quarters and goosebumps were uncomfortably real for me today - its dark again when I get to work, and a cold rain soaked me to the skin. Hey, send us to Risa in your next fic, Kevin! I don't want to stay in the depressing expanse, in a depressingly cold ship! You make it TOO real.

I loved the difficulties Trip was having with a half naked T'Pol in his lap. It was both sweet and funny. He was so thoughtful getting her the thermal underwear and socks - what a guy!

Very enjoyable, thanks.

Poor Trip. T'Pol really keeps him off balance.

I like the tie-in with E2. I makes sense that some information would have been transerred from one ship to the other. I'm glad that Trip found out about old T'Pol, but it would have been nice if there would have been someone with whom he could have discussed it. That revelation must have unleashed many conflicting feelings.

I also like the idea that Trip and Archer know they don't have enough supplies to get back to Earth. That really adds to the stress. How do you keep other people in the crew from finding out? How do you keep up morale? What's the best option to save as many as you can? Good stuff! Thanks!