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Hanging on a Limb

Author - Kevin | Genre - Drama | Genre - Friendship | Genre - Romance | H | Main Story | Rating - R
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Hanging on a Limb

By Kevin

Rating: R (sexual situations)
Disclaimer: The characters mentioned within this text are the sole property of Paramount Studios, UPN, and Viacom. I intend no infringement.
Genre: Drama, Friendship, Romance
Summary: Scene additions from “Countdown” to “Home”. Trip and T’Pol struggle through a significant time in their lives. The story is a sequel to The Struggle Within. There is also a prequel, Changing of the Guard; although it was written later, the events in Changing of the Guard precede those in in this story,



Trip looked back at T’Pol through the open hatch. He was stunned. He couldn’t remember T’Pol ever asking for help. About anything. Things must be really bad if she’s asking for my help.

“When this is all over, if you want to talk, I’m all ears.” Trip smiled. Hopefully T’Pol would recognize his teasing. Instead she gave him a wounded-bird look that only worried him more.

“Why don’t we take another crack at this?” Hopefully focusing on work would help restore some of T’Pol’s composure. Trip reminded himself not to push so hard. If she was in this bad of shape, he’d have to be supportive, not confrontational. Something had to be bad, very bad, for a Vulcan to admit weakness to a Human.

Trip stood with his eyes facing the display screen but not seeing what’s displayed. He was too busy trying to grasp the enormity of T’Pol’s admission and listening to her try to regain control. He was certain her eyes were closed as he listened to her employ the same breathing techniques she taught him. He assumed she must have regained her control as he heard her breathing even out. She reached forward to modify the display and in doing so, she brushed lightly against his arm. He really missed her touch.

That touch only brought slight comfort to him as he literally felt the whole weight of Earth on his shoulders. If they couldn’t find a way to destroy the sphere, they may not get the help they needed from the aquatics leaving the reptilians and insectoids to destroy Earth. The pounding in Trip’s head only got worse as he tried to think of ways, any way, to disrupt a sphere enough to destroy it without also destroying Enterprise in the process. He didn’t want this to be a suicide mission unless there was no other way to save Earth. Something caused him to mutter, “I sure wish Lorian was still here,” underneath his breath.

“Since we were not thrown back in time, it is illogical to assume our son still exists,” came T’Pol’s quiet reply.

A smile played across his lips as Trip listened to those words. Only T’Pol could try to apply logic to time travel and having a kid three times my age. He decided he very much liked T’Pol saying “our son” as if it were perfectly natural. And then it hit him. She said, “our son”. T’Pol had not spoken of Lorian in that way or even acknowledged any relationship to him before.

“I can’t believe you said that,” he told her with a confused look on his face.

She returned a subtle, but equally confused look to him. “We were not thrown back in time. Therefore it is logical to assume Lorian was not born 102 years ago.”

Trip smiled and chuckled a bit. “No, I mean you called him ‘our son’. You never called him that before.”

T’Pol sighed a little and her eyes darted away from his. “It is pointless to ignore the evidence. His genetic makeup was clearly a unique combination of the two of us.” She paused a bit. “Therefore he was our son.”

Trip chuckled some more and turned his attention back to the display. He couldn’t imagine anything that would make him as happy as T’Pol acknowledging Lorian was their son. He was sure that stupid grin was never going to leave his face. T’Pol calling Lorian son was the single glimmer of sunshine in an otherwise bleak situation but it was enough to make his outlook cheerful again.


Trip stood looking at his oldest friend trying to think of something, anything, to say as he left for what likely would be a one way trip. He couldn’t think of anything more than, “Captain… Good luck.”

Jon stopped and the two shared a knowing look. They both knew this was most likely the last time they would ever see each other.

Trip saw Jon shift his attention to T’Pol. “I expect you to keep him in line.” Trip fought hard to suppress a grin at Jon’s attempt at humor during such a bleak situation.

Trip felt T’Pol… fidget… next to him. “I will do my best.”

In seconds the Captain was gone and Trip was left staring at the empty airlock. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and turned around.

Trip walked silently though the halls as if he was in a daze. Somehow without conscious decision on their part, he and T’Pol found themselves outside her quarters. She opened the door and he followed her in uninvited. He naturally sat down on the padded bench and collapsed with his head in his hands. Exhaustion was overtaking him but he was fairly certain resting in his office would accomplish very little. He tried desperately just to keep from falling asleep there in T’Pol’s quarters.

“You can use the bed.”

Trip was startled by her statement–and confused. He had no idea what she was talking about. He lifted his eyes to see her seated in front of her meditation candle.

“I said you could use the bed. You need to rest.”

Trip shook his head. “I’m too busy… I need to get to engineering.”

“No.” T’Pol’s stance seemed especially rigid. “The Captain left me in command. You are going to rest… Your staff can affect modifications for the next six hours. You will need to be rested when we approach the sphere.”

Trip slumped. “T’Pol, be reasonable… I can’t sleep here.”

“Where then? Your office?”

Trip tilted his head to the side. Could she know? He had tried to bury it in the status reports.

“I know there is a hull breech and you cannot enter your quarters… I believe what little rest you have taken has been in your office.”

Trip slumped again. She knew! “Yeah.”

“You cannot receive adequate rest in your office. You will sleep in my bed.”

“T’Pol…”

“The question is not open for discussion. We need you fully rested for tomorrow.”

In all honesty, Trip was about ready to collapse just sitting on her bench. He knew he’d fall asleep as soon as he hit the bed. But that didn’t mean he was comfortable with the idea. And where would she sleep? She often tried to pretend that meditation was just as effective as sleep but he knew better. If she told him to sleep in her bed, that meant she intended on meditating the whole night.

Ultimately though, he gave in to her demand without a fight. A couple more minutes and the point would be moot because he would have fallen asleep where he sat anyway. Trip stood up and took a deep breath. “Okay.” He walked over to her bed, stripped down to his shorts and lay down. As expected his eyelids grew heavy and he gave into his exhaustion within seconds of hitting the pillow.


Trip heard the alarm go off and growled. Although he wasn’t really awake yet, something didn’t feel quite right. The first thing he noticed was hair in his face. He shook his head a bit but the hair was still there. It hadn’t really moved. The second thing he noticed was that most of his weight wasn’t being supported by the mattress. In his confused fog, he felt like he was holding onto a life-sized hot water bottle. The third thing he noticed was his raging erection pressed up against… T’Pol!

He was instantly awake and his brain kicked into gear. He immediately rolled off T’Pol and was sure he turned a million shades of red. He whispered, “are you awake?” He prayed for no response.

“I have been for some time.”

Trip closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. What have I done? After a few awkward moments he said, “I’m sorry about that. I had no idea…”

“There is no need to apologize. Your behavior was unconscious.”

Trip looked up at the ceiling. “When you told me to sleep in your bed, I had no idea you would too.”

“Although Vulcan’s need less sleep than Humans, we still do. I was able to get four hours.”

“Geez, T’Pol, you should have pushed me off you… How long was I like that?”

“I am not certain. I awoke about twenty minutes ago with you in that position… I did not wish to wake you… You needed to rest.”

Trip smiled and wondered what went through T’Pol’s head waking up with him lying on top of her. He thanked God she hadn’t made any mention about his boner pressed into her belly. She had to know–there was no way she couldn’t.

Then he remembered at first he met with some resistance rolling off of her. She had her arms wrapped around his chest and one leg tangled with his. He fought hard to keep from chuckling to himself when he wondered if maybe there was another reason she didn’t wake him. She’d run hot and cold lately and maybe this morning she was running hot. Maybe she didn’t mention my erection pressed against her because she liked it? He fought hard to suppress a chuckle.

Before he got too far down that path though, he swung his legs and sat up on the bed. They had to destroy the sphere today. It was Earth’s only hope. He took a deep breath and felt better than he had in days. With a little coffee, he’d feel ready to tackle anything. “Thanks T’Pol. I needed that.” He couldn’t remember the last time he slept so soundly. He got over six solid hours of sleep. It seemed like a lifetime since that happened.

He looked at his clothes on the floor, picked them up and headed into the bathroom.


T’Pol walked briskly toward her quarters. Something about seeing the Captain’s canine in sickbay nearly shattered her control. She had to retreat to the privacy of her quarters and attempt to restore whatever control was still possible. Falling apart where someone could observe was unacceptable. She made it just in time to punch in her code and sink to the floor shaking.

Prior to hastening a retreat into her quarters, she had not factored in Trip’s presence. Of course she should have anticipated this would be the case. They were riding inside the Xindi aquatic ship using minimal power. There was no reason for Trip to be putting in long hours in engineering. She herself had made the offer for him to sleep in her quarters.

They took in each other wordlessly for what seemed like an eternity but was probably nothing more than a few seconds. Trip’s eyes were red and swollen and she could tell his reaction to the Captain’s loss was as expected. He knelt beside her. He paused for only a moment before pulling her into his lap and holding her.

His simple gesture washed away what little control remained and she felt the tears stream down her cheeks as he held her tightly. She felt his body wrack and moisture on her neck. She was certain it was his tears she felt in addition to her own.

After some time in his arms, she felt him shift and move his lips toward her ear. “What can I do to help?” he asked her.

She needed to meditate to restore her control. She was not sure she could at the moment. She hoped teaching him would distract her enough to focus on the candle and achieve the proper state. “Sometimes it helps to have a meditation partner. Especially since my control is weakened…”

“I don’t know how.”

“I will show you.”

Trip released her and she retrieved the meditation candles and table.

As T’Pol laid out the cushions and set up the meditation candle, she explained to Trip how to employ the proper breathing technique. She directed him to sit directly in front of the candle, across from her.

T’Pol’s attempt to meditate was futile. The lack of sleep combined with the swirling emotions freed by her experiments with Trellium made it impossible to regain that center of control all Vulcans prided themselves on achieving. Inhaling Trip’s scent mixed with that of the candle did nothing to improve her situation. The best she could achieve was applying a veneer of calm and hiding from Trip the raging storm of emotion within her.

T’Pol opened her eyes to find Trip staring right at her. Something about his look caused her to make sure he did not leave her alone. “You can sleep here tonight.” Possibly with a full night’s sleep she would be in a better position to achieve a useful meditation session.

Trip’s neck and face turned pink. “I’m not sure if that’s a good idea,” he whispered.

“You need to sleep somewhere… There is room.”

Instead of answering, he simply rose to his feet and removed his sweat bottoms before climbing into her bed. T’Pol did not feel the need to change into her pajamas so simply removed her jumpsuit and lie down next to him. She turned out the lights and the two of them lay there in the dark not saying a word barely touching each other. Once or twice she was certain Trip sobbed next to her. He was taking Captain Archer’s loss especially hard.

Some time later found T’Pol lying on her side facing the wall. She tried desperately to contain her emotions at Captain Archer’s loss. Next to her Trip lie perfectly still. Since she could no longer detect any movement on his part, she expected he was sleeping. He deserved a full night’s–no several full night’s-- rest. Since his quarters were breeched in their fight with the Kovaalans days ago she was not sure how much time he had spent sleeping. She doubted much and knew whatever he did get was inadequate. She would not be surprised if the one night they shared her bed was the only time he slept more than an hour or two at his desk in engineering. He was taking the Captain’s loss, his oldest friend’s loss, very hard but he needed to give into his exhaustion and sleep.

She felt him shift slightly in bed and his arms went around her. He rolled her toward him and she chose to offer no resistance. Once he turned her to face him, he pulled her in tightly. She buried her head into his chest as he whispered in her ear, “everything’s going to be all right… I miss him too.”

If Trip needed to hold her tightly in order to deal with his grief over losing his oldest friend, T’Pol decided she would allow that. It was a small price to pay to help him. She was Vulcan, she reminded herself. She did not need comforting at the Captain’s loss. However Trip was Human and would. She would allow him to hold her as long as he needed in order to deal with the loss. She would do that to help him.


T’Pol sat cross-legged in the white space she entered while meditating. It had taken a great deal of effort and nearly all of her self-control but she had achieved the proper meditative state for the first time in many, many days. So many, in fact, she lost count.

In her weeks of Trellium abuse, T’Pol could not recall a single day when she craved it more than today. As her counterpart had predicted, her withdrawal symptoms from the Trellium were becoming harder to control. Doctor Phlox refused to provide any more neural suppressants, as he was afraid their continued use would only make her Pa’naar worse. Even if she wished to inject the Trellium, she could not. With the Expanse nearly gone, there was no longer a need for the chemical and Doctor Phlox ensured Trip got rid of every last particle of the substance at the first opportunity. She would have to suffer through the withdrawal simply because no more Trellium existed on the ship.

Trip. She thought about Trip. To make her situation even worse, she had lost him. Two nights ago, the first night after he had been captured, she dreamt of him while she slept. She had not done that in several nights. She dreamt an unknown alien was torturing him while she stood by helpless to stop it. The alien kept asking Trip questions that made little sense to her. She could tell they made no more sense to Trip, as he had no idea how to answer them. The torture continued with Trip unable to provide answers for questions he did not understand and T’Pol unable to save him. The alien appeared convinced Trip had knowledge he did not possess and would not stop.

For a moment, Trip seemed to lose focus on his torture and looked at her with pleading eyes. He looked so forlorn, so beaten. He whispered, “please T’Pol, help me” just before he passed out.

She awoke from her nightmare bathed in sweat. The fact that she was not the one in her nightmare causing him harm this time was of little comfort. She curled up in a tight ball trying to control the pain coursing through her body. She was able to restore some measure of control and covered herself with another blanket. The excess sweat, combined with the damaged environmental controls, made her feel so cold. Eventually she was able to fall asleep again although the rest did little good.

Today she felt a tremendous weight lift off her when the Captain indicated he had secured Trip and Ensign Mayweather. After they returned to the ship, she was at her post on the bridge thinking of a logical reason to go to sickbay. An ancient, primal part of her would not calm itself until she had the opportunity to inhale his unique scent and confirm he had, in fact, returned. Only then would she be satisfied that he was safely aboard. It was completely illogical, but the sound of his voice alone, was not good enough for her.

That relief had been crushed when she learned it was Silik who returned and not Trip. Silik refused to answer any questions concerning the fate of Trip. Although Captain Archer assumed Trip was still alive, T’Pol took that to mean he was lost. There was no logical reason for Silik to hide the fact Trip was still alive–only if he knew Trip was dead. She would never see Trip again. Even if they were successful and eliminated this timeline, she doubted that would bring him back to her. No, as far as she knew, he was gone for good.

Once again she was alone in her life. She thought again about her counterpart on the other Enterprise. That T’Pol spent 29 years with her Trip. That T’Pol spent over 102 years with the son they created together. She would never get to do either. As she fought to calm the emotions raging in her mind, one refused to be tamed. Envy. She envied her counterpart and the life she lived.


As T’Pol finished rinsing her hair she considered the day facing her. She would be tested today… severely. This morning was the formal celebration in which Enterprise was being honored in front of all Starfleet and broadcast across the planet. Although she would not be the focus of the event, still the thought of being under the scrutiny of so many Humans all at once was… daunting. This afternoon she would face a small contingent of her people from the consulate. She… hoped… her people had grown to understand the importance of Enterprise’s mission in the past year and seen the logic of her remaining on board. It was most likely a false hope though.

Then she thought about Trip. He had insisted on being there with her. To defend her choice. To describe in detail just how vital she was to the success of their mission. To provide emotional support. Although a part of her wanted to face them with him by her side, she knew that would only make her case weaker. Her people would insist upon a logical, reasoned argument for her actions, not an impassioned plea for understanding. His presence would only make her logical control falter in the face of adversity. No. She would have to face them alone.

She turned off the shower and stepped out. She was only slightly startled to find Trip standing at her sink shaving. She had not anticipated he would return so soon from the Jupiter Station quartermaster with a new formal uniform. She studied in detail his nude form as he stood there removing the last bits of shaving foam from his face.

He turned to her and smiled. “Hey.”

A warm flush passed through her already heated body and for a brief instant she considered that she would like to take another shower… as soon as Trip finished shaving.

She pushed that thought from her head. Being late would only raise suspicions and it was possible Captain Archer might even come by her quarters personally for escort to the ceremony. She continued to dry herself off but she could feel Trip’s eyes upon her. Somehow she knew he was studying her just as she had studied him moments ago. Once she dried herself off she stood and dropped the towel. As she expected Trip was feasting on her body with his eyes. He moved his eyes up to hers and theirs remained locked on the others’ while he closed the gap between them.

T’Pol felt herself pressed up against the wall in her bathroom as Trip captured her in his arms. His mouth went immediately to her neck and she started losing control as he alternately nibbled and sucked on the area just below her jaw line. One hand rose to caress her ear and she let out a slight gasp. She knew exactly what was about to happen when he hitched her left leg up. In response, she wrapped it around his back to afford him access. She inhaled sharply as he slid inside her.

As the waves of pleasure began to wash away her resistance, she fought hard for control. They had to stop. As much as she wanted this to happen, they could not be late for the ceremony. It would be too conspicuous and she was not yet ready to deal with… the ramifications… the revelation… of their… relationship.

With the last bit of her self-control she pushed Trip off her. Her body felt… empty… with him no longer inside, but she made the right decision. He came back at her again and she put her hand on his chest. “We cannot.”

Trip slumped in what appeared to be agreement. “Yeah… You’re right.”

He seemed a bit sad as he turned to get in the shower. Her reaction too was one of… disappointment… at the delay in… satisfaction. She reached up to grab Trip’s face and pulled him toward her. She gave him a smoldering kiss that lingered a bit longer than she had intended. “Tonight,” she hoped he understood her promise.

Apparently he did. He smiled and repeated her statement. “Tonight.”

T’Pol passed into her main living quarters so as to get dressed. If she spent any more time in the bathroom, her control would most likely have wavered and found her sharing the shower with Trip.

She saw Trip’s new formal uniform laying spread out on her bench. She had no such uniform as a civilian. Wearing one of her High Commander uniforms was simply out of the question. She was unsure which of her jumpsuits to select. Initially she reached for her teal one knowing that was Trip’s favorite but she reconsidered and selected her lavender one. She preferred it.

Just as she was about to remove her robe and don the jumpsuit, her chime rang. She froze as she realized it could only be one person.

“T’Pol, can I come in?” Her concern was confirmed as the Captain’s voice was relayed into her quarters.

She looked to Trip’s uniform displayed clearly in her quarters and listened to the shower and his occasional singing. She was about to have the first of most likely many unpleasant conversations today.

She sighed, closed her eyes and said, “Come in Captain.”

She opened her eyes and the Captain almost seemed embarrassed when he saw her standing in her robe with wet hair.

He ran his hands through his hair and started looking around her cabin. “I’m not quite sure how to ask this…” He seemed nervous and… fidgety… she believed that was the word Trip taught her.

“Go ahead,” came her simple reply.

“It seems we have a bit of a problem. I can’t… aaahhh… We actually… well… We seemed to have lost…”

The Captain continued to stammer a bit and T’Pol guessed he was trying to tell her he couldn’t find Trip when T’Pol heard the shower stop. A change came over the Captain’s face and she wondered if he finally recognized the shower in her quarters had been running while she stood there facing him.

“Hey, I forgot to bring a towel in with me. Could you get me a fresh one? Yours is all wet.”

T’Pol was certain she saw a red hue start to rise up the Captain’s neck and she glanced away as his stare seemed to bear down on her.

“I guess I don’t need to look any more for Trip.”

At that moment, T’Pol looked forward to her time with the Vulcan consulate.

Captain Archer stood in front of her unexpectedly silent. She had fully expected a verbal outburst such as an admonishment for her bad behavior. Instead, he said nothing. She returned her eyes to his to see if she could judge his response. Unfortunately she could not.

She noticed his jaw shift slightly and he simply said, “I expect the two of you to be on time. We’re leaving in fifteen minutes.” He turned and exited her quarters without saying another word.

Later that night she lay awake as Trip slept beside her. Today had been far more unpleasant than she could have imagined. Although the Captain made no mention of this morning’s encounter that only added to the awkwardness she felt around him. She almost would have preferred a lecture similar to this afternoon’s unpleasant confrontation with Ambassador Soval and his two aides. By the end of the day she was… exhausted. There was a part of her that felt… disappointment… at not being able to fulfill this morning’s promise she made to Trip. But he understood, helped her meditate and joined her in bed. Although it was completely illogical, lying there pressed up against him with his arms protectively circling her did as much to restore her control as the meditation had.

Unfortunately they each had early morning meetings, which left no time for her to keep her promise in the morning.


Trip sat in his quarters for the first time in nearly two weeks. He was thankful the hull breech around his quarters had been sealed and he could return to them. Although he… enjoyed staying with T’Pol, he just couldn’t face anyone right now. The psychiatrist had been especially cruel and she pushed him about his feelings and reaction to having another sentient being created simply to provide body parts for him. Although he thought he had long put that behind him, with Phlox’s help, it turned out he had only suppressed it with his depression over his sister’s loss, his hatred of the Xindi and his… relationship… with T’Pol.

He was certain the doctor’s goal was to see how hard it would be to break him. She had pushed hard enough to shatter him. As soon as he gathered was little remained of his dignity, he left and immediately hid in his quarters. He had sealed himself off from outside contact hours ago.

Trip heard his chime go off. He ignored it. It chimed again. He ignored it.

“Trip, I know you are in there.”

He sighed. He knew T’Pol would persist. “Come in.” If he didn’t invite her in, she would probably override his lock anyway.

She came over and knelt by him in his darkened quarters. “What is wrong?”

“What makes you think something’s wrong?” His voice was hoarse and gravely after falling apart that morning.

“You are sitting alone in the dark and huddled in a corner.”

He chuckled. “Am I that transparent?”

T’Pol reached out and gently placed her hand on his shoulder. “What happened on the surface? You have not left your quarters since you returned.”

It took a while but finally Trip was able to answer. “I had a psych profile today after they read Phlox’s report.”

“Which report?”

“The one where I was in a coma.”

T’Pol paused before responding. Trip wondered if she was trying to figure out what to say. “How are you?”

Trip almost burst out laughing at that question. “What do you think? I’m sitting alone in the corner of my room in the dark. Or at least I was until you barged in…”

When she did not respond he realized the meanness in his statement. He was glad he could not see her reaction in the dark.

“I’m sorry T’Pol.” He moved one hand to put it over hers and sighed. “It was pretty rough. I think the doctor intentionally pushed until I broke down. I think she wanted to see how hard it would be.”

Trip felt her move next to him and lean her back against the same wall he did.

“The Vulcan High Commander has indicated they will allow me to regain my commission but demoted two classifications.”

“How generous. Are you going back?”

“I am not sure. Based up my past… choices… my career there is, for all practical purposes, over.”

Trip felt a slight improvement in his outlook. She was trying to convince herself to stay with them–with him.

“If you stay with us, you probably won’t get promoted. Starfleet’s not ready for a Vulcan to command one of our ships. Not even you.”

“Commanding a ship is not relevant to my decision. I am a scientist.”

Trip nodded and reached up to put his arm around her shoulder and winced. It was still sore.

“What is wrong?”

“My shoulder’s still sore. I guess my pain killers have worn off.”

“If you remove your shirt, I can relieve the pain.”

Trip smiled to himself. “Yeah, I imagine both of us could use a session right now. But I’ll do you first. I need something to focus on.”

“No. It is would not be wise for you to perform neuropressure in your current state. You may injure me.”

Trip sighed. She’s right; it takes a lot of concentration. I think that’s what I did wrong with Amanda. “Okay. You go first. We’ll alternate positions.”

“Agreed.”

Sometime later Trip was feeling much better. His shoulder was no longer sore and he had forgotten all about what happened today.

Of course most of that was T’Pol doing everything in her power, intentionally or not, to ensure he focused only on her. She sat in front of him clad only in her tiny gray shorts. They had kept the lights off so only the faint glow coming through his window provided illumination. Running his hands along her nearly nude form was incredible. Performing neuropressure in the barely lit room forced him to slow down and focus on her body’s pressure points from memory. His only distraction was the mental images of what she would look like with just a little more light. The feeble glow reflected off Earth entering through his viewport was… romantic.

He applied as much pressure as he could to her fifth vertebrae for 15 seconds just like she taught him. He stopped just was she emitted a little gasp. In the past when he did this, her hands would inch farther down her breasts until her nipples were almost uncovered. Sometimes he could even smell the musky scent of her arousal.

But he hadn’t completed his task. She flinched only slightly as he applied pressure 5cm apart on both sides of her thirteenth vertebrae. He found this location quite by accident one evening. He was supposed to be applying pressure to her eleventh vertebrae for this posture. She emitted little whimpers while he pushed as hard as he could until she gave out a low, guttural moan and he felt her body shudder under his touch. Although she never taught him about this location, she also hadn’t stopped him the previous two times either. He was pretty sure he just gave her the Vulcan equivalent of an orgasm. At least that’s what her reaction seemed like. Something about making T’Pol respond this way inflated his ego.

When his attention returned to what he was doing, he realized she had dropped her hands completely, leaving her breasts bare. He could just make out their lovely silhouette. She started to lean back into his touch. He still had his hands at the thirteenth vertebrae and she was pushing back into them. Apparently she wanted more stimulation at these pressure points.

Trip struggled to control himself, but it was a losing battle. He needed to be with her tonight even if it meant his heart would get stomped on again in the morning. It was a risk he was willing to take. He reached around her front to cup her breasts and pulled her into his lap. A moan escaped her lips as he ran his tongue along her ear.


Hours later T’Pol lay in Trip’s bunk with his arms wrapped around her as he slept. She had her back pressed into his chest as his steady breathing washed over her neck. They engaged in sexual intercourse until he was too exhausted to continue. Even her strength had started to wane. She thought their first experience was beyond words but this second time was even better. This time was not based on Trellium-induced jealousy over losing him to another female. They had both wanted… no needed… this time.

T’Pol considered what the two of them had just done. His behavior was different this time. The first time Trip was gentle and often timid. It was almost an exploration for him. His own behavior led to her characterization of the event. But not this time. He was aggressive and demanding. He used her for his own pleasure and in return gave her more pleasure than she could have imagined. Could he have learned that Vulcan males virtually assault their mates during Pon’farr? Whatever the reason, his level of aggression had been intense and satisfying. It was not logical, but her body craved more. She… hoped… he would be as generous when he awakened, as he was earlier.

T’Pol gently turned her body so she was facing Trip. He looked so calm, so serene, as he slept. She did consider herself… fortunate. She needed him and he still cared for her even after she lied to him. She tucked her head into the crook between his neck and chest as he pulled her in tighter while he slept. For the first time in many months she felt in control.

Some time later T’Pol felt Trip shift slightly and then felt a single finger trace lazily down her spine. It caused her to shudder in response.

“You up?” came his simple question.

“I have been waiting for you to awaken,” she replied.

Trip moved again and tucked T’Pol underneath him in a protective manner. “I think that experiment was pretty successful,” he teased her.

His teasing though caused a stab of pain in her chest. She knew he was afraid she’d treat him now like she did the last time. That was simply an unacceptable response on her part. She was… ashamed… of her reaction before. “I apologize for how I reacted last time.”

“Whatever do you mean?” Trip whispered in her ear.

T’Pol pulled away and looked into Trip’s wonderful blue eyes. She sighed. “I lied to you… Our first time was not an exploration… I was…” T’Pol closed her eyes as she prepared her admission. “jealous.”

“Really?” He replied trying to suppress the grin at her blatant admission of the obvious. “I would’ve never guessed.”

T’Pol scowled at him. She was admitting her subterfuge and he was patronizing her for it. But she decided she had to admit everything. “I believed I would lose you to Corporal Cole.”

He chuckled and kissed her on the forehead. “I never felt that way about Amanda… She and I could never have been anything more than just friends…”

Trip pulled T’Pol into his body again and held her tightly.

“I’ll admit it’s partly my fault… I knew you were jealous… But I had no idea you were a virgin. If I would’ve known, there’s no way I would’ve let anything happen… I felt really bad about taking your virginity due to a bout of misplaced jealousy… That’s not how your first time should have been.”

T’Pol moved hear head so that her cheek rested against his. “There is no reason for you to feel guilty. We are both adults and responsible for our own decisions… I seduced you, remember.”

“It didn’t take much effort,” he chuckled. T’Pol never expected it to.

“We were both attracted to each other. The result was… logical.” T’Pol moved her legs around Trip and shifted his body slightly. She made her intention clear to him.

T’Pol saw Trip smile when he recognized sexual intercourse between them was about to become another logical conclusion.

“If that’s the case, then we should continue where we left off,” Trip said as he moved in her.

T’Pol shuddered as he traced the shell of her left ear with the fingers of his right hand and gently stroked her back with his left. In return she moved her right hand to the side of his face and her left to his shoulder. She needed to balance herself as she lowered herself to match his upward thrusts. “Yes… we should,” came her simple reply. That was all she could say because Trip had already mastered her body’s reaction and her pleasure intensified under his touch.


Trip stared up at the ceiling in his quarters. He couldn’t sleep. But not because of insomnia–he simply wasn’t tired. Eight days ago Enterprise finally returned to the right timeframe with the Xindi threat behind them.

He’d been on the ship with it cocooned in the repair station since then. He couldn’t believe how much he’d slept in that time.

He thought about the communication he’d been expecting but so far hadn’t received. As much as he hated it, he knew his name was splattered over every newscast across the globe. He was certain his parents knew he returned. But they hadn’t tried to contact him yet–he’d asked several times over the past few days.

His eyes watered up and he sighed. He figured the harsh words his parents said must have been their true feelings and they hadn’t changed. They blamed Enterprise and Captain Archer for Lizzie’s murder. They told him if he left them this time, he might as well not come back. The words tore him up for months but there was no question what he would do. He would never abandon Jon and especially not when he had a chance at revenge.

He just assumed they were grief stricken and didn’t know what they were saying. They would eventually realize what they said and send him a letter saying they were sorry and they loved him. But he never received a single letter from them before they entered the Expanse and lost communication with Earth. He hadn’t heard a single word from them since he’d returned. He made sure they were still around and their new home in Mississippi had a video feed and comm. link. They could have contacted him if they wanted to.

It was pretty clear to him now they didn’t want to. He felt a tear roll down his left cheek. The Xindi really did destroy his family.

Just then T’Pol shifted in her sleep and he felt her nuzzle her head deeper into his shoulder. In return he pulled her in tighter.

He shifted his musings to T’Pol. On one hand, it felt really nice to sleep with her. On the other hand, T’Pol’s behavior concerned him.

Since that first time in her quarters–the night before they destroyed the sphere–they had slept together eleven times. Actually slept–not sex. In that time, they only had sex twice, or seven times, depending on how you counted. Either way, that was two days ago, Trip grinned to himself.

He knew she was having a rough time. In the Expanse, he thought it was just the constant stress and lack of meditation wearing down on her. He hadn’t meant to, but since the New Year, he had been under so much pressure to keep the ship glued together, he just couldn’t sustain the effort to break through her barrier. Something happened when they encountered the other Enterprise though. While she was still all over the map, she stopped avoiding him. She refused to admit it, but he had a pretty good idea she spoke with her counterpart. He snickered and thought maybe the older T’Pol put in a good word for him.

Unable to leave well enough alone, he started thinking about their future. He was pretty sure Jon knew what was going on. Jon made a comment along the lines of he could look the other way but not for much longer. Trip assumed that meant Jon was pretty sure he could get T’Pol in Starfleet. If that happened, the non-frat rule would make things messy. He had no idea how his people would react, but he figured the Vulcans would be incensed (although they would refuse to acknowledge it) about the two of them.

He also wasn’t quite sure what to call what he and T’Pol… shared. She was the most important person in his life. If anything, she might even be more important than his career. He’d never felt this way about anyone before. How did she feel about him? Since she was in his bed tightly pressed up against him, he felt safe in assuming she cared about him too. They felt that way about each other for some time. He never bought that garbage about ‘exploring Human sexual relations’ long before she confessed it was a lie.

He’d always assumed the idea of the two of them was just too much for her to cope with and she hid behind her Vulcan mask where she felt safe. But something had changed and now she felt safe with him. In return, he felt an almost overwhelming urge to do what he could to protect her. It was foolish since neither one of them faced any real danger at the moment and she was stronger and smarter than he was. But the undeniable urge was there all the same.

He wondered, could he ever think of T’Pol as his wife? The idea made his head hurt. She was his best friend since he and Jon drifted apart. Could he imagine spending the rest of his life with her? He sighed. He wondered what would happen once things finally got back to something resembling normal. Would she even accept the commission with Starfleet? If she did, could they both return to a professional relationship? Would she reapply her Vulcan mask and break his heart again?

Her head shifted again and he risked gently stroking her hair. He didn’t want to wake her. He had so many questions. He still wasn’t sure she’d ever tell him the full truth.

He decided to shift his body and rolled the two of them toward the wall by his bunk. He tilted slightly until he was pressed over her and held her protectively. He heard her mumbled something and wedge her face into the space between the pillow and his neck.

He gently kissed her hair and willed himself to sleep.


Although T’Pol’s eyes were closed and she lay still, she was awake while Trip peacefully slept beside her. She listened to his light snoring and her mind pondered this strange sound she first heard just a few days ago. It was fascinating. She considered speaking with Doctor Phlox to discover the cause. Sometimes the sound came from his mouth and sometimes the sound came from his nose.

At that moment Trip’s sleeping invoked fascinating reactions on her part. With his head nestled between her breasts, the sound waves from his snoring caused vibrations to pass through her upper body cavity. The sensation was unique in her experience and she was surprised to find his snoring harmonic with her chest cavity causing it to reverberate from the sound.

In addition, she felt a bit of wetness on her chest and assumed it must have been saliva that leaked out of his mouth while he slept. He called it drool but did not fully explain to her the meaning of the word. Initially he denied ‘drooling in his sleep’ but then appeared embarrassed by it. Like snoring, drooling appeared to be a common occurrence while he slept. She had observed both each of the five previous times she watched him sleep.

Most distracting though was his hot breath passing over her left breast as he exhaled. It was doubly so after his earlier attention. When they dined together late this evening, Trip’s mood appeared sullen. She had expected that once they returned to Earth, and the correct time frame, his mood would improve. In fact, just the opposite was true. Each day he seemed a bit more withdrawn. He barely spoke a word during their meal. While Vulcans did not speak during meals, Trip often talked throughout the whole meal–sometimes even with food in his mouth. She had become accustomed to his behavior, even if it was considered rude by Vulcan standards. To any other Vulcan, his silence would have been a welcome change. Knowing him as she did, it was a cause for deep concern.

He said even less as they slowly proceeded through the set of neuropressure postures she had taught him. When they were done, he reached across and grasped her wrist. He asked her to stay the night. She arched her eyebrow at the invitation. They slept together nearly every night since returning from the Expanse. He told her he was not asking for sex, he simply did not want to be alone. She knew something was troubling him and to be honest, she did not wish to break their habit and sleep alone either. He rose, took her hand and led her to bed. Initially he just held her and she rested her head against his chest. After a while he turned her on her back and gazed into her eyes. She was certain he had changed his mind about her seduction as he brought his face to hers and moved his fingers to stroke her arm. She very nearly reached down to her briefs to remove the last remaining bit of clothing so he would have access.

But he did something unexpected. He planted a light kiss on her cheek. He trailed the light touches down along her jaw line, then down her neck and further to the small area at the base of her neck just before reaching her chest. Finally she intertwined her fingers in his hair as he took her right nipple in his mouth and swirled his tongue around it. His touch caused her to arch her back as if she could force more of her breast into his mouth. He spent what seemed like an eternity suckling at her breasts as if his very life depended on it. His attention, his lips, his tongue, even his teeth, moved slowly, methodically, until she wanted to cry out in frustration.

Just when she though she could take no more, he began stroking her ears and she nearly came undone. The intensity of pleasure he provided with nothing more than the tips of his fingers and his mouth became too much to bear. His movements eased as she tried to summon what little control remained to get him to stop or at least slow down. It was as if he sensed the intensity became too much for her and he gently brought her down from her high. He ceased stroking her ears and his mouth trailed light kisses up her chest to her neck and back down again. Once she caught her breath and her chest stopped heaving, he nestled his head between her breasts. Again she reached to remove her briefs in order to return his pleasure but then she heard his light snoring. After a few moments she was certain he had fallen asleep. She cradled his head gently to her while he slept.

She had not expected him to attend to her pleasure and ask nothing in return. Their fourth time together had been completely one sided. She did appreciate the attention and basked in the warmth his body provided.

Warmth. She was… grateful… to be warm again. Since the environmental controls were damaged during the attack at Azati Prime, the ship had been too cold for her tastes. But they had been repaired two days ago and the temperature in her quarters returned to normal. Trip had even increased the temperature in both of their quarters two degrees to make her feel more comfortable. That caused her to consider the decision she made today. One she had not shared with anyone to this point.

She looked down on Trip sleeping and lightly stroked his hair. When she summoned her courage and a measure of control she would ask him to be her mate. Although neither Vulcan nor Earth would recognize the pairing of a Vulcan and Human, she wanted him to know she would be his as long as they lived. Her eyes became moist as she recalled under normal circumstances that would mean as long as he lived. Living without him was not a burden she was yet ready to accept, but her counterpart had lost her Trip so early in life and continued. She could do the same.

The only remaining question then would be when and where to broach the subject. Captain Archer had made it clear that everyone was to be off the ship in four days. He made his intentions perfectly clear by specifically pointing out he wanted both she and Trip off the ship for a month. Away from the ship would be the natural place for her to approach him. Although she suspected Trip would wish to visit Vulcan once they formalized their commitment to each other, she was not sure if she would be welcome again in her mother’s home. She expected her mother would disown her once she learned of their union, assuming she had not already done so. She had received no communication from her mother since her resignation from the High Command.

She felt Trip shift his head and heard him mumble something. More saliva escaped his mouth and landed on her abdomen. Once again she stroked his hair with her fingers. She took a deep breath and considered her decision. Yes, she would choose to be his. She would choose to spend every night for the rest of his life listening to him snore and watching him drool while he slept.

The End

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A whole mess of folks have made comments

Good one, like it a lot.

I really liked this "chapter", Kevin, for a number of reasons. You did a good job in capturing Trip's confusion about how T'Pol seemed to run hot and cold, not to mention T'Pol's own confusion about how she views Trip. I will admit to some minor surprise in the airlock scene with Archer: I always interpreted Archer's "keep him in line" comment to T'Pol as Archer's way of telling the both of them that he knew about them as a couple and was letting them know that he approved. Because of that, the scene in which Archer showed up in T'Pol's quarters while Trip was showering felt a little weird to me; I thought it telling that Archer went to her while looking for Trip but it almost seemed like he (Archer) was on the verge of slipping into the cliched Jealous!Archer that too many TnT fics seem to have. That's just my opinion, of course.

I did like T'Pol's decision, however, to let Archer into the cabin knowing that he would learn the truth about TnT. I would have liked to have seen a little more of Archer's reaction though, something that didn't make him seem to be backsliding into Jealous!Archer...

And man ... everybody's gotta hate head shrinks, huh?

Interesting that you also seem to be following the idea that Trip's parents lashed out at him following Elizabeth's death. I know some people don't like that idea but I found it completely understandable and actually explains some things (like why Tucker claimed to have nowhere to go at the beginning of "Home".)

Great job once again...

Excellent... liked it... very nice.
I did find it a bit cofusing when the story jumped from Trip being lost forever to him shaving naked in her bathroom while she was in the shower. Having them "start" to make love against the bathroom wall kinda gave the impression that we had jumped far into the future and they were well established as lovers. Then when they finally did make love a couple of nights later it was only thier second time? Maybe I read it wrong. Gives me an excuse to read it all again :)
Anyway... whiplash and all...I always enjoy your fics. Thanks, Kevin!

you've made my day, the only thing that could make it better would be for you to do a sequel

Thanks everyone for the comments.

I intentionally wanted to make the jump between "Storm Front" when Trip was captured to the start of "Home". I wanted to really call out T'Pol's complete change of heart after Trip returns to the ship. But on further inspection, I probably shouldn't have made that big of a jump. I probably should have included a "reunion scene" to set it up. What I wanted to highlight here is their restored and growing intimacy but it's not based on sex.

Also you'll notice that the scenes are all from either Trip's or T'Pol's point of view. I did that intentionally. They don't have a complete understanding of Archer and haven't talked to him specifically about it. I'm not completely sure what Archer's reaction was that morning. But, when he couldn't find Trip, he immediately went to T'Pol. :-)

Finally, yes, I included the idea of a split between Trip and his parents. It's the only explanation that covers everything we've seen in the show. There is no evidence Trip went to see his parents at all after he returned from the Expanse. T'Pol specifically mentions he hasn't said anything about them for some time in "Borderland". Based on that statement, I assume Trip talked about them with T'Pol at some point in the past and I assume that meant he had a good relationship with his parents at one time.

Oh, I forgot, I don't hate "head shrinks". :-) In my opinion, she was doing exactly what needed to be done. Trip had a series of very traumatic experiences, probably more than any other Human crew member. It would have been her duty to determine if he was still fit for a command role after his return. I would have expected all of the crew to receive at least some form of psych evaluation after their return.

Great stuff, really really well done! :)

I just have one wish: please make it AU.
Because I couldn't stand another "Home" after this wonderful prelude. Not to mention what was later, when every episode was more idiotic when it came to our pair that anyone could even imagine.
What happened in the show was in all respects stupid and I would find it unacceptable in a great fic like this one. :-)

"I'm not completely sure what Archer's reaction was that morning."

- I suspect that his jaw was clenched to keep from cracking up at T'Pol's no doubt mortified expression. Once the door shut behind him, he started to giggle. By the time, he got to the turbolift, he was laughing - which was quite the sight to see, I understand...

I'm not sure if I'll write a sequel to this story. I pretty much wanted my season 3 scene additions to get TnT headed to Vulcan and I've done that. I want to write two more season 3 stories, one from Trip's POV between "Impulse" and "Exile" and one during "E2" also from Trip's POV that parallels "The Struggle Within". If I were to write a sequel, it would be Trip's voyage to Vulcan and back. It's kind of tough since I don't like to violate canon for the pre-New World Man stuff and ST:ENT really ignored established time and space rules. :-) Given The Cochrane Scale and the distance to Vulcan, each leg of the journey is four weeks. Ugh. :-(

It's also been a while since I've written a New World Man installment. Since my birthday is in three weeks, I should probably write something there as a birthday present for my fans to show you how much I appreciate you. People keep bugging me about kids, so I probably should deal with that subject. :-) I promise I'll treat you better than the Killer Bees did.

Great strory, Kevin! Archer's reaction was interesting, given what we know of his emotional state in "Home". I'd love to read a follow-up based on "Home" and the Augments arc, where we see Archer react to the relationship more, and to Trip's state coming back from Vulcan...

I really enjoyed this, Kevin. I liked the way you added an additional dimension to their relationship without obvious deviation from canon. I'm ashamed to say, though, that it's been so long since I've seen many of the episodes that you were adding scenes to that sometimes I didn't understand what was going on. A bit more reference to the plot developments in the episodes to help those of us with faulty memories and no time to re-watch all of season 3 would have been helpful, but I got the gist of it. I, too, would love to see your behind the scenes version of "Home" and the Augments & Kirshara episodes.

Kev,

This is one of my favorite chapters/stories of yours. It flowed really well and filled in so much for us. Please do continue telling this tale.

You know you've hit the big time when Zane tells you it's a good story ... and he made a really good point about Archer's emotional state during "Home"; I'd forgotten about that.

Easy solution for the time & space stuff: warp higways - routes in which you go a little faster than you should, like those moving sidewalks in the airports. Pookha pointed that theory out to me and it makes sense ... AND allows one to explain how they can make it to Vulcan in such a little time.

Whatever you decide to write, I'll be hear to read it.

Heh. ^ I'll be "here" to read it.

I really liked this piece as you really took your time to explore all the different emotions that both Trip and T'Pol may be feeling. This while being fiction is very realistic and goes with the character of these two people. Thank You.

I very much enjoyed this story. You incorporated a good dead of interesting elements, TnT, but also Archer and Trip's family.

May your muse continue to whisper in your ear!

Thanks everyone for the further comments.

However, I don't want to get people's hopes up too much for a series of scene additions for the Augment or Kir'shara arcs. The Augment arc has to be excruciatingly painful for TnT and I just don't want to write about that. I've already written "Soval's Awakening" for the Kir'shara arc. My feeling right now is that, with only one possible exception, I've already written all of the season 4 stories I'm going to. Unless of course, I get the urge to write something AU.

I'm not even sure if or when I would write the "Home" ideas. HopefulRomantic's "Logic, Inescapable" is very close to what I was already thinking with only minor differences. My feeling is that I'm going to go back to New World Man and start working there.

That's a shame to hear, Kevin. You've built up such nice momentum and insights here. It would be interesting to see that taken at least a little farther forward, to see what they're thinking during those stressful times. I'd also like to know how Archer continues to deal with what he knows, and how it affects his friendships with them. Anyway, I do hope you'll reconsider.

Kevin, I enjoyed your perspective (e.g.; Trip's parents not writing him or even inviting him home because they felt Enterprise was responsible for Lizzie's death). Trip's quarters off limits from a hall breach...brilliant idea! Trip and T'Pol's interactions seemed to fit in very well in the time frame of the Enterprise episodes your missing scenes are from. They always seemed more close during those episodes right before Home, as if there were missing scenes we didn't get to see. The way you wrote them, I could see them in a more involved romantic relationship at that point and it makes watching Home more angsty. I hope you continue to write this story...perhaps some Home missing scenes, but I could understand if you didn't. After Home up until Bound, it's all angst! I don't see T'Pol having that convo with Trip about being her mate. I mean, if Trip thought he was her chosen mate, and truely understood its significance, then I don't think he'd ever stand by and watch her marry another man. Or maybe they do have this convo and the fact that their relationship would not be accepted by either society has them walking on eggshells furthering their little explorations. Either way, I'd still be interested in a Home sequel. Excellent stuff, Kevin!

Although I have not found the time yet to read this latest story of Kevins, skimming through the comments, I had to say something on his take on Trip's parents. I agree that they may very well be mad at him over Lizzy's death. I had Trip's mother being angry and saying she wished Trip had died instead of Lizzy, in one of my stories. It is a very believable reaction and does, as Kevin says, fit in with canon. Canon can be so vague on a lot of points, but that is great for it leaves holes for us to fill in, right?

OK, that was hot! Weird reoccuring details in you fics---the snoring the drooling. I guess your keep'n it real!

Interesting line, in relation to the "how do they do it" question: "they only had sex twice, or seven times, depending on how you counted." That's perfect! You're doing the right thing. Leave it vague. That way your story fits with anyone's personal theory and anything the canon might throw at us in the future--assuming there will be more Star Trek, which there will be, one day.

Now, I read the comments. I'm the one who keeps arguing that Trip has a good relationship with his parents, he merely takes them for granted, which is why he doesn't visit. I will continue to argue that theory, but Kevin's theory works too, since Kevin says Trip used to have a good relationship with his parents, until just recently. Kevin's theory would still explain how Trip grew up to be an open, secure, well-adjusted, decent person.

I am having trouble seeing Trip take his parents for granted, especially after Lizzy died. I am working on a fic where he did take Lizzy for granted until she died, and then started thinking a lot about her after she died. So I think after Lizzy died, if he and his parents still had a good relationship, he would know that you can't take family for granted in an uncertain universe and would make concerted effort to keep in touch with them. But then, with canon vague, we each can play with these relationships any way we want. You could make a case for "I can't be staying close to relatives because they will die like Lizzy did, and then it is painful, so I will just keep an emotional distance so I won't be hurt." Well, that last thought sucks, and I don't see Trip that way, but the possibilities are open for us to play with, right?