How T'Pol Stole Christmas

How T’Pol Stole Christmas

by Kevin

Rating: PG
Disclaimer: The characters mentioned within this text are the sole property of Paramount Studios, UPN, and Viacom. I intend no infringement.
Genre: Season One Fic Challenge
Summary: Trip searches for the right word. His choice for a substitute leads to an interesting result.

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Trip reread the view screen. “When forming plural nouns in Vulcan you must…”

Dang this is hard. I can realign a warp coil in my sleep, but I can’t figure out how to translate the word ‘eggs’ into Vulcan. And how in the hell am I going to find a word for ‘ham’? Well at least ‘green’ and ‘and’ were simple enough.

He scratched his head and reread the page. Maybe I should get Hoshi to help me?

No way. It’ll be all over the ship in hours. Malcolm already gave me a hard time for waking up T’Pol first a few weeks ago. I’m sure I’ll never hear the end of it if he finds out I am trying to learn to read and write Vulcan.

Why can’t they just put an ‘s’ at the end of the words like normal people do?

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“Captain, my analysis will require 22 gigapages of memory for the intermediate results. I believe if Commander Tucker were to reduce his usage by 7 gigapages, there would have enough computer storage to support the work.”

This isn’t fair. She’s just having a hissy fit because she can’t do her little hobby. “Captain, I need that storage. I have all of my notes and specs on the engines there. If something happens to me, you’ll need them.”

“I know Trip, but you are using over 20 times the storage of anyone else. Isn’t there anything you can give up? T’Pol needs to complete the analysis.”

“I believe if Commander Tucker were to remove the files in this folder, that would provide enough storage. Those files are encrypted, so they would be of little use if something were to befall Commander Tucker.”

“But Captain, those are my personal files.”

“Why are they so large Trip? You have six of them here that are huge.”

He found my books. What am I going to say? Oh well, just see how little of the truth he needs. “Those are some books I use.”

“Why aren’t they part of the ship’s database?”

“Because they’re mine.”

Trip continued to argue to save his books on learning to read and write Vulcan. But he wouldn’t tell the Captain what they were so the argument was lost almost as soon as it began. Now I have to tell Hoshi what they were so she can redownload them. She’s going to find out and then I’ll never hear the end of it. “Okay, T’Pol. Just let me know when you need the space and I’ll get rid of them.”

Trip just glared at T’Pol as she walked out the door. I can’t believe she convinced the Captain to get rid of my books. I hope her analysis subroutines dump core on her and she had to debug them all weekend. Of course that’s probably her idea of fun.

“Trip, Hoshi will get your books back in a few days. Just relax.”

“I think she’s just mad because I’m taking so much space. I don’t think she really needs it. She just doesn’t want me to have it.”

“Come on Trip, you’ve worked with her. T’Pol’s not that petty. Besides, she’s Vulcan. Consider yourself lucky she didn’t just delete your books and tell you you aren’t ready to read yet.” Archer laughed.

I guess Jon’s just trying to make me feel better. “Okay. Yeah, I guess I shouldn’t let her get to me.”

“I’ll bet once you get back from Risa, you’ll have so much to talk about you’ll never notice your books were even gone.”

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Trip stared at the blank view screen. I don’t know what to do. Princess Vulcan deleted all my books. I don’t even have any vacation photos from Risa to look at. Trip chuckled to himself. That’s probably a good thing. I don’t want any evidence of that disaster.

Trip heard his chime go off. “Come in.”

“Am I disturbing you Commander?”

Now what in the hell does she want? Probably to gloat at chucking my files. “Not at all Subcommander. What’s on your mind?”

“I wanted to inform you that the freed computer storage space was sufficient to complete my analysis. The Captain told me you were very upset about losing your books. I apologize for the inconvenience.”

He sighed. “That’s okay T’Pol. Hoshi will have them downloaded again in a few days. I just need to get her started on them.” He had been avoiding Hoshi so he could figure out a way to explain why he had them. He had even considered stopping his studies just to avoid the embarrassment.

“About that. I do not think there will be a need for Ensign Sato to perform the download.”

This was too much. She wasn’t going to give me the storage back. “Why not? I thought your analysis was done?”

“While you were away, I took the liberty of assembling a more effective lesson plan for you.”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“The Vulcan High Command recommends a different set of teaching material when humans learn Vulcan.”

She read my files! How could she?

T’Pol handed Trip a pair of PADDs. “I have modified this pair of PADDs. I was able to increase their storage capacity by seven times. These two will be enough to hold both the books and lesson materials I have assembled for you. You will not have to worry about using the ship’s computer storage any longer.”

I wonder what the expression on my face must be as I stare at her.

“But how did you have time? And where did you get the stuff you needed?”

“Everything I needed was on the Sh’Raan. It took very little effort. The delay to transfer Ambassador V’Lar provided me ample time.”

“But why?”

“You were discrete about the letter from Koss’ family and maintained my privacy, even with the Captain. You also deleted your learning material to free enough computer storage for my analysis. While the Captain was not aware the files’ contents, he impressed upon me their importance to you. I understand expressing gratitude is important for humans. I felt I could better relate to the crew if I made an attempt to express gratitude for your assistance in both cases. Was I successful in my attempt?”

I’m not sure what to say. I’m stunned. She obviously put effort and planning into this. “Yes, Subcommander, thank you.”

“I have taken the liberty of adding corrections to some of your translations and providing references to the proper lessons so you may learn from the mistakes. Your choice of translating The Real Mother Goose and The Whole Seuss by Dr. Seuss is fascinating. Vulcan children are taught to read and write in a similar manner.”

She’s staring intently at me as if trying to decide if she should ask me a question.

“Commander, I am not sure how to respond to the substitution of my name for the Grinch character in the Dr. Seuss story.”

Trip hung his head and covered his face with his hands. I can’t believe she read that story. I knew I should’ve deleted it.

“Is that how you see me? A monster whose only desire is to destroy your enjoyment? I would remind you that I was the one who suggested the trip to Risa.”

Oh no! Trip shook his head at her. “No, not at all, T’Pol. I’m sorry about that. I did that translation just after you convinced the Captain to delete my books. I was pretty pissed. Please don’t read anything into that. It wasn’t anything more than my releasing angry frustration over something I couldn’t control. I know you needed the space for your work. That takes priority.”

“There is no need to apologize Commander. After I found the translation, I studied it and the original text thoroughly. Although I would have preferred not be installed as the central character, the translation was performed with skill. I believe your attempt provided an educational experience for both of us.”

T’Pol turned and left Trips quarters.

I look at the second PADD she gave me. I was able to read the Vulcan words easily since I translated it. “How T’Pol Stole Christmas by Dr. Seuss.”

The End

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A whole mess of folks have made comments

It's not easy to be green. ;-)

[i]Kermit[/i]

This is priceless! Are you gonna give us a sequal where T'pol wonders WHY Trip is learning Vulcan? That might open the door to a little TnT emotional revelation. I'd love to see him explain himself...Is it possible he's doing it just to get closer to a certain science officer? Will he admit it? Will she be flattered?

Heh heh! Charming story.

Seuss?

This is hilarious!! Too bad we never saw anything like this on the show. LOL and ROTFLMAO.

Cute, very cute!!

Im really lovin these early freindship stories.
I just loved those season one episodes were they start out at odds an then just end up closer,,, Great Fic,, an pretty funny to.

I do like this story Sam I am... ;)

Excellent and great fun! I loved the way T'Pol saves Trip the embarrassment of having to go to Hoshi for help then embarrasses him even worse with her revelations. Looks like our boy can't have any secrets from a certain little Vulcan. And I am betting she is way ahead of Trip and knows *exactly* why he is learning Vulcan.
Ali D :~)

Great! I love it! Did I mention, this was wonderful? Incredibly funny - a sequel, please! And they were quite in character...

Very funny, very cute!

Very nice, a cute one! :)

Enjoyed it very much! Thanks for posting it. Now . . . will there be more?? (Please)

One more, a very funny and interesting story!
I hope you will through the full season!
Thanks!

That was so funny! Thouroughly enjoyable! Thanks!

Very cute..... 4 years later, I bet Trip has changed is tune on that one by now.. Or maybe not...T.