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T'Pol's Choice

Author - Kevin | Genre - Angst | Genre - Friendship | Main Story | Rating - PG-13 | T
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T’Pol’s Choice

by Kevin

Rating: PG-13 (language)
Disclaimer: The characters mentioned within this text are the sole property of Paramount Studios, UPN, and Viacom. I intend no infringement.
Genre: Angst, Friendship
Summary: Scene additions to various Season Two episodes leading up to T’Pol’s difficult decision.

Thanks to startraveller776 for being my beta…

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Chapter 1Shockwave, Part II

She could not imagine a more horrific way to torture a Vulcan. The Suliban were cycling her blood through some machine. It not only stripped away her emotional control but also inhibited her motor skills. She could do nothing but lie there as her mind swarmed with uncontrolled emotion and her futile attempt to control it. They kept asking her the same questions over and over again. She learned the true definition of the word agony.

Finally they gave up their attempt to extract information she did not have and dumped her in her quarters. She was so… so thirsty. Had they kept her for hours or days? She had no idea. She had lost the ability to separate reality from delusion. She was lost in a sea of pain. At first Captain Archer’s face appeared as nothing more than another figment created by her shattered mind. Eventually she regained enough control to realize she was not hallucinating.

When she heard Commander Tucker’s voice, she searched the ceiling for his face. Although she was exhausted after maintaining her focus on Captain Archer, she was able to eventually respond. Later she participated in the planning for their escape, even if only as an advisor. She counted herself fortunate it would take many hours before Ensign Sato could release them. She needed time in order to recover enough strength to help Commander Tucker free Enterprise. While technically she still was in command, her role at this point could only be one of support. There was little else she could do in her condition.

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Trip first recognized something was wrong when he heard T’Pol fire repeatedly in the same direction. He thought they missed one of the Suliban and she was defending their position. Finally he realized she was firing at the same thing without varying her aim. When he came around the engine, she was firing over and over into a single dead Suliban.

Trip reached to grab T’Pol out of her daze. “T’Pol, he’s been dead for several shots. I need your help.”

The look on her face terrified him. He had never seen her look like this. Her glazed over eyes stared right past him as if he wasn’t there. Her legs started to tremble and she slumped forward. He caught her and carried her over to a corner.

“What’s wrong T’Pol? You don’t look so good.”

She struggled to reply. “The Suliban interrogated me…”

“We’ve got to get you to sick bay.”

“No, we must free the ship…” Her response was barely a whisper.

He grimaced at her. He knew she was correct. He paused slightly and gave her a weapon. “Just sit here... Cover me while I set up the fireworks display.”

By the time he returned, she regained some of her strength.

He reached down to help her up. “We need to get out of here.”

She struggled to her feet and started to stumble away before almost falling down.

“Damn,” Trip snorted. “We’ll never make it this way... I’ll have to carry you… Up you go.”

Trip needed to keep a weapon in his right hand so he lifted her up over his left shoulder in a most undignified manner. He held her thighs and bent her over at the waist as her head and arms dangled down his back.

“Commander, I order you to put me down immediately…”

“No way, T’Pol! I am not leaving you and we don’t have much time. I don’t have time to waste arguing with you.”

She was too weak to resist as he carried her out of engineering.

Trip found maintaining his focus difficult. Occasionally T’Pol would utter another verbal protest or grunt as he made his way to the bridge. However, she never resisted physically. That was a good thing. She was suprisingly heavy for her petite frame. If she hadn’t been limp as a rag doll he wasn’t sure he could have carried her. The Suliban had done something very bad to her.

Once the two reached the turbo lift, Trip finally set her down against the wall. He remained on his knees trying to catch his breath while he stared at her. She just sat there, leaning against the wall with her eyes closed.

He kept the lift stopped while he tried to figure out what to do. With Malcolm out and the Captain gone, he needed her on the bridge. But he wasn’t sure she was up to the task.

Finally he caught his breath. “T’Pol, are you all right?”

She opened her eyes to look at him. He recognized it as mild annoyance. “The answer to that question should be obvious.”

He gave an amused snort. “Okay… I know, dumb question. Are you strong enough to do your part? I really need you on the bridge. I have to focus on the engines.”

She nodded. “The technique they used affected my motor control.”

He scowled. They really messed her up. He clenched his fists as he tried to control his rage. He needed to be calm for their escape. “Do you need my help to get to the bridge?”

“I will not allow you to carry me onto the bridge.” Even though it was feeble, Trip could tell she glared at him with all the intensity she could muster.

He just returned her scowl and stared at her for a few minutes as he tried to figure out what to do.

“Okay, but only if you agree to visit sickbay as soon as we’re free.”

“No, I will be needed on the bridge.”

Trip shook his head. “No way. You’re right; we need you on the bridge to escape. But once we’re free, we can spare you.”

The look on her face showed she wasn’t going to budge.

“I’m serious T’Pol. You either agree to go to sickbay once we’re free or I’ll carry you onto the bridge.”

“You could not. I can resist.”

Trip smiled and nodded his head. “Yeah, but not enough to stop me… How’s it going to look if I carry you onto the bridge squirming and resisting but not strong enough to break free?” He continued to smile at her.

She continued to glare at him. Eventually she agreed his demand was logical. “Agreed.”

He stood up. “Thanks. Now let’s get out of the lift, I can’t keep it just sitting here like this.”

“I will need your assistance, Commander,” she said flatly–and rather quietly.

“Here, give me your hand and I’ll pull you up.”

Once she was on her feet, he recognized a slight wobble in her legs. He took a deep breath. “When we go on the bridge, follow right behind me. That way you can grab my uniform for support if you need to. I’ll walk to the helm to get you in the command chair.”

He looked her over. “Are you sure you can do this? The chemicals just affected your motor control right?”

T’Pol just nodded. It was a lie.

“Let’s get out of here, Sub-Commander…”

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Trip was so caught up in his own happiness at Captain Archer’s return he missed T’Pol leaving the bridge. As soon as he could, he excused himself to make sure she actually did report to sick bay. He became furious when Doctor Phlox said she had not shown up. He was certain she had gone to her quarters to try to take care of this problem herself.

His anger turned to fear as he found her quarters empty. He searched frantically for her by himself. He was about to give up and involve security when he found her huddled in the corner of a deserted corridor shaking. She offered no resistance as he picked her up to carry her to sickbay. With no need to carry a weapon, he cradled her in his arms this time. This time she offered no complaint and simply nuzzled her head in his shoulder–her body limp as before.

The route to sickbay was longer than necessary. He chose to pick rarely used corridors in order to get her there without being seen. He startled the Doctor as he ran through the emergency entrance to sickbay carrying her.

“What is wrong with her Commander?”

Trip immediately laid her down on the bed. He bent over to catch his breath after running as hard as he could.

“I... don’t… know...”

He gulped for more air.

“Found… her… this… way...”

He gulped for more, but it was a loosing battle.

“Said… Suliban… did… this…”

Later after Trip caught his breath, he started nervously pacing around the bio-bed T’Pol occupied. Doctor Phlox eventually forced Trip to wait in his office so he could continue to diagnose and treat her.

Trip wasn’t sure how long but eventually Doctor Phlox returned to see him.

“How is she Doc?”

“I believe Sub-Commander T’Pol will recover. The neurochemicals were in her system longer than I would have preferred, but I understand why she did not seek treatment earlier. Escape was a higher priority. But the drugs were especially potent.”

“What’d they do to her?”

“They injected a set of neurochemicals into her system. It completely upset her brain’s neurochemistry. They appear specifically targeted for Vulcans. I think that explains why they chose more violent measures for Lt. Reed. The chemicals would have been useless in his case. They are toxic to humans and would have resulted in death within a few minutes.”

Trip could barely contain his anger. “Did they… you know… Did they…” he dropped his voice to a whisper, “touch her?”

Phlox saw the muscles in his jaw stiffen and his fists clench. “No. For a Vulcan, this torture was far worse and far more effective than anything they could have done to her physically.”

Trip’s anger boiled over. “So help me, if I ever get my hands on Silik again I’ll kill him. If I had been able to, I would have brought him aboard and beat him to death. The Captain insisted he stay on his ship.”

“Calm down, Commander. Sub-Commander T’Pol should recover fully and violence will not help her or Lt. Reed.”

Trip felt kind of stupid. He gave an amused snort when he realized how childish his outburst musts have sounded. I’m glad no one else heard that. “You’re right. It’s just… I mean… well, I don’t know… Can I see her?”

Phlox sighed. “I suppose a few minutes will not be detrimental. She is sedated and resting… One more thing Commander. T’Pol made me promise not to divulge the details of her ordeal to anyone else. She requested your consideration in this matter also. I will only inform the Captain of the necessary details of her condition.”

Trip slumped. At a time like this, all she was concerned about was her privacy. Damn stubborn woman! “Okay. When she wakes up tell her I agree. I won’t tell anyone. I’ll trust your judgment Doc.”

When Trip saw her, she looked so frail. He chided himself for his silly outburst earlier. He had only ever felt this protective of Lizzie. He reminded himself that T’Pol could take care of herself. But that still didn’t stop him from wanting to squeeze the last bit of life from Silik.

He shook his head and took a deep breath. When did I stop thinking of her as a Vulcan and start thinking of her as a woman? He clenched his fists and muttered, “Dammit T’Pol, when did you do this to me?” He smirked, shook his head again and turned to leave. He wanted to see the Captain...

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Chapter 2Singularity

Sub-Commander T’Pol crouched down next to Commander Tucker as he mumbled incoherently to her. Focusing intently on his face, she realized just how young he was. Her scanner indicated he was suffering the same effects as the rest of the crew. Her reaction to the radiation was the opposite of the Human crewmembers. While they became single minded in their pursuit of the most trivial matter, she became easily distracted by sensations she normally could control. Sounds. Scents. Touch. Each more distracting than the previous.

Sub-Commander T’Pol moved Commander Tucker so she could rest him against his engineering station. Touching the crew as she scanned them was… electric. The sensations were stimulating and distracting and… wonderful. They were strongest when she touched the exposed skin on the crew’s head. Each touch provided a unique sensation.

Something caused her to reach up and lightly brush his hair back into place. She ran the tips of her fingers along his face and across his jaw line. She focused her attention on the sensations caused by the stubble on his face. She lightly caressed the other side of his face with the back of her hand. The feeling was… beyond description. The stubble of hair across Commander Tucker’s face fascinated her. It was so different than the smooth skin of a Vulcan.

She put down her scanner so she could experience the sensation with both hands. Just as she was about to touch his face, she stopped. She clenched her fists and withdrew them from him. Concentrate! Focus! She picked up the scanner but remained crouched by his side.

She did not look forward to the next phase of her plan. Her medication had nearly worn off and, if possible, her sense of smell had increased. While basking in Commander Tucker’s scent was… exhilarating, she had to approach the Captain… and his canine. She needed a highly skilled pilot and Doctor Phlox had heavily sedated Ensign Mayweather. That left only Captain Archer. No more distractions! She rose to make her way to the Captain’s quarters.

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When Sub-Commander T’Pol’s duty shift ended, she decided to return to her quarters to begin the sensor analysis before having supper. One beneficial side effect of their near fatal course was considerable sensor data to analyze. The computer would process and chart a detailed model of the magnetic field interactions within the trinary star system. Once she programmed the computer to start the analysis, she could retrieve some food and return to her quarters. She could work on the analysis before retiring, since the Captain had not invited her to dine with him this evening.

As she opened the door to her quarters, she detected a familiar scent. Just as she began to wonder why Commander Tucker had been in her quarters, she saw he was still there. “Commander, why are you in my quarters?”

T’Pol saw him jerk, raise his head up and heard the loud crack as he banged it into the workstation.

“Oww! Dammit! You scared the hell out of me T’Pol…”

Trip pulled himself out from underneath the workstation and started rubbing the back of his head and muttering various expletives.

“Are you injured Commander?”

Trip turned to look at her. “No, I’m fine. Just a bump on the head… I’m sorry for not telling you earlier, I wanted it to be a surprise. I hoped you’d go to the mess hall after your shift.”

“No. I was not hungry… Wanted what to be a surprise?”

“I installed the sensor interface for you. I felt bad about not installing it before.”

“I understand… You had more important work to do… I believe designing and installing a cup holder for the Captain’s chair.”

Trip smirked and gave an amused snort. “That wasn’t my fault… Anyway, I’m just about finished here. Give me a couple minutes and we can try it out.”

“Proceed.” T’Pol watched him as he returned underneath the workstation.

A very short time later he backed out from underneath it and said, “That’s got it.” He turned around toward her. “Want to give it a try?”

“Yes, Commander.” She turned her workstation on, selected the sensor data screen and was presented with an unfamiliar display. She turned to Trip who had come to her side. “Commander?”

“Aaahhh… yeah… I modified the screen display. A lot of screen space was wasted so I improved it.” He pointed to one side of the screen. “I moved all of the command functions over here.”

“They are also in Vulcan.”

He grinned. “I figured it would be easier for you. Plus, with its vertical orientation, it was natural. It gave me more screen space for the graphical display and console output.”

He moved slightly in front of her and touched a couple of screen buttons. “See you can switch back and forth between English and Vulcan for the console output. Whichever is easier for you.”

T’Pol was impressed.

He then moved to another set of buttons and showed her the dial. “With this dial you can change the size relation between the graphical display and the console output… See if you need more text, just rotate the dial this way and the window sizes change. If you need less, just rotate it the other way.”

She wasn’t sure how to react when he turned to her with a grin on his face. He not only installed the sensor interface so she could work from her quarters but also redesigned the clumsy user interface that had plagued her since arriving aboard Enterprise. And he chose an interesting combination of English and Vulcan display text thereby allowing the interface to make efficient use of the display screen.

“I didn’t change the station on the bridge. I doubt anyone other than you or I could use it. But if you don’t like this one, just let me know. I can return the station here in your quarters to the default display.”

“I will keep it as you have set it up for now.”

“Ohh, and if you want me to work on it some more and tweak things, just let me know. It shouldn’t take long. I designed and wrote this last night. I tested it this morning during the installation.”

T’Pol heard a noise come from Commander Tucker’s midsection. She gave him a curious look.

“That’s nothing. I’m just hungry. I haven’t had anything to eat since breakfast. I’ve been too busy.”

T’Pol could not believe he skipped lunch to install and upgrade the sensor interface for her. “I was about to go to the mess hall for supper. Would you care to join me?”

Trip gave T’Pol the same smile that had unnerved her on past occasions. She was certain it was the same one she overheard the female crew talk about. The one crewman Hendricks said made her “palms sweat”. Fortunately Doctor Phlox had explained that expression to her.

“Just give me a few minutes to clean up. I’ll meet you back here.”

“You could use my washroom to clean up.” She pointed toward the small room off her main living area. “It would be more efficient.”

“Ahhh… Are you sure that’s okay? I need to drop the top of my uniform to wash my face and neck.”

“I see no reason for that to be an issue.”

“Well okay then… Just give me a minute.”

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Ensign Sato watched as Commander Tucker and Sub-Commander T’Pol gathered their meals and took a table together seated as far away from everyone else as possible. A little corner table with a good view out the window.

“That’s interesting…”

Lt. Reed lifted his head. “What is?”

“Look off to the left… Be careful Malcolm! Don’t be obvious…”

Malcolm gave a puzzled look. “What? I don’t see anything.”

“Over there. Both of them.”

“You mean Commander Tucker and Sub-Commander T’Pol eating supper?”

She leaned in and whispered, “That’s just it. They never eat together outside of the Captain’s mess… Trip’s not at his usual table.” She paused for a second. “And they completely ignored us! What do you think of that?”

Malcolm frowned at her. “I can’t believe you. Has Enterprise become so boring that you’re now just going to make up rumors?”

“Look at them. They don’t seem to be paying attention to anyone else.”

“That doesn’t mean anything. Trip knows you don’t like shoptalk in the mess hall. They’re probably talking about sensor upgrades or something like that.”

“Yeah, right. In a cozy corner of the mess hall watching the stars pass by. Everyone knows that’s the romantic table.”

Malcolm gave a chuckle. “I can’t believe I’m hearing this. You know Trip’s feeling toward Vulcans. Never in a million years! Plus she’d never be interested in him. He has as much chance of dating her as… well, I don’t know. I’m not even sure Vulcans date.”

He saw the scowl come across her face.

“Just drop it.”

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Chapter 3The Catwalk

Sub-Commander T’Pol curled up in the corner of the catwalk to read. She was having increasing difficulty with her emotional control. The stress of being cramped in the tight confines without privacy was wearing her down. She hadn’t been able to meditate effectively in days. Fortunately she had been able to avoid the one person who in particular always seemed to make her control even more tenuous.

She was so embarrassed by her behavior during the previous few days that she avoided him. She struggled desperately to fight the urge to strike Princess Kaitaama on the shuttle ride back from rescuing Commander Tucker. Princess Kaitaama touched him constantly in front of her. Like now, her control was weakened by a series ineffective meditation sessions. In a way it was fortunate the neutronic storm arrived. She was able to keep him at a distance as he mostly remained in the crew section of the corridor while she remained on the makeshift bridge to avoid the combined smell of the crew.

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Trip was in a bad mood. All anyone did was complain about his or her time on the catwalk. He and Travis had four hours to prepare and this was the best they could do. No one appreciated what he or she did have. They only complained about what they didn’t.

And he couldn’t escape them. Captain would not let him on the “bridge” unless absolutely necessary. There was only room for the Captain, T’Pol and two pilots. Travis had his hands full most of the time and needed another person to help.

He was worried about T’Pol. Something hadn’t been right since her interrogation by the Suliban. The drug they used really messed up her system. There was nothing he could do right now as he promised Phlox to keep her ordeal private. He couldn’t even share his knowledge with the Captain. That only made the gnawing worry in his gut even worse.

As Trip opened his roast beef field ration and prepared for Malcolm’s complaint, he was worried Phlox had overestimated her recovery. She still seemed to struggle with her control and he noticed she spent more time alone in her quarters than normal. Even the Captain had mentioned she seemed to be having difficulty with her control. He was worried about her too.

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Trip couldn’t take it any more. Just two more days left but if he had to listen to Malcolm complain one more second he was going to punch him in the face. He realized what he had to do in order to maintain his sanity. He didn’t want to do it, but he was running out of options. He got up and walked toward the maintenance tube. Just as he was about to climb up, an idea popped in his head. That’s a great idea. It won’t be perfect, but it’ll be better than nothing. He left the maintenance tube and walked toward the area he dubbed ‘engineering.’

At his temporary workbench he messed around with a simple circuit and some fiber optics. The task took him longer than he expected, but at least he got away from Malcolm. He looked down at his creation and applied power. It worked like he expected. There, that’s got it. Time to pack up and head out. He smiled to himself and started whistling as he headed up front. He felt his spirits rise with each step.

A few minutes later Captain Archer watched Trip squeeze onto the makeshift bridge.

“Hey Captain, how are things looking?”

“Pretty calm Trip. What brings you up here?”

“I’m getting some intermittent failures on one of the backup circuit relays. I want to run a diagnostic and fix any problems in case we loose the primaries.”

“Travis?”

“Things are looking pretty calm sir.”

“How long will it take Trip?”

“About five hours if I do it myself. I could probably cut it below four and maybe close to three if T’Pol helped.”

T’Pol almost appeared shocked he specifically asked for her help. “Why me?”

“The maintenance tube is pretty tight. I need someone petite who knows how to run a full diagnostic scanner. That means you, Lt. Hess or Ensign Withers. I need Anna and Laurie working on something else right now.”

Archer saw his chance to get T’Pol out of his hair. “Sounds good Trip. T’Pol, go help him out.”

Archer almost caught the briefest of scowls. “It’s not like you’re doing anything important up here right now. We’ll contact you if we need something.” He watched the pair leave together.

A few minutes later they arrived at the maintenance tube.

“It’ll work best if you head up first Sub-Commander. I’ll follow right behind.”

“Are you sure this is safe?”

“Yeah. In fact, we’ll have more shielding around us than the rest. The tube itself is heavily shielded to protect the relays.”

Trip smiled to himself as he watched Sub-Commander T’Pol climb the ladder above him. Malcolm’s right, she does have a nice behind.

Once T’Pol arrived at the maintenance junction, she realized Trip had not exaggerated his claim. There was little room for anything more than them and their tools. She doubted two men could have fit in the space. She plugged the scanner into the diagnostic port.

“Don’t bother T’Pol. The relay’s fine.”

“I do not understand. Why are we here?”

Trip smiled at her. “I needed to get away from Malcolm. If I had to listen to him complain one more time about the little things that Travis and I forgot, I was going to kill him.”

“You and Travis did a perfectly adequate job considering you had only four hours to prepare.”

Trip nodded his head. “That’s what I told him. But he doesn’t care.”

“That does not explain why you involved me in your subterfuge.”

“I figured you hadn’t meditated in six days. That true?”

“Not effectively.”

“And I imagine the stench was getting pretty bad too, right?”

“I have increased my dosage to compensate. I am no longer able to smell anything.”

Trip chuckled to himself. “That’s probably good for you. I imagine I’m pretty ripe.” T’Pol completely agreed that it was fortunate. With her weakened control and his, most likely, overpowering scent, the consequences may be… unprofessional… if she had any remaining sense of smell.

Trip picked up a small device and handed it to her. “Here, I made this for you. It isn’t a candle, but the circuit will randomly light the glass fibers. It’s the closest I could come to simulating a flickering flame with what I had.”

T’Pol looked right at him. Sometimes he could shock even her. “I appreciate the gesture but we should not neglect our duties.”

“T’Pol, I know for a fact you don’t have any duties right now. The Captain knows how to get in touch with me if he needs to…” Trip reached down and pushed a button on another device. “So for the next three hours and 17 minutes, you just sit there. You can meditate or not. Either way, I am going to sit here and read quietly. The only thing I ask is you not complain about anything.”

“Three hours and 17 minutes?”

Trip smiled. “Yeah, with your help I was able to accomplish the work much faster. We made an efficient team.” With that he returned to his PADD.

T’Pol looked at the small device and its flickering light. It was a reasonable facsimile of a candle’s flame. She was thankful for his consideration. Maintaining her control was becoming difficult and she could not go another two days without an effective meditation session. His concern for her well-being gave her a topic to ponder. Again she counted herself fortunate not to smell anything at this point. His kindness only further weakened her control and she would be unable to meditate with his scent filling the confined area.

Some time later Trip looked out the corner of his eye at T’Pol meditating. His focus returned to the PADD in his hand. He couldn’t believe how much his life had changed in the past two years. He had no idea how many different species they’d met. He lost count of the various worlds they’d visited. And somewhere along the way he stopped looking at T’Pol as the enemy and started viewing her as… a friend.

There was this small, mean part of him that still hated to admit he thought of her as a friend. She was Vulcan after all. But unlike the others, she seemed willing to help them. She not only forced him to challenge his preconceptions, she completely blew them away. He even secretly learned to read and write Vulcan because of her. He stole another glance at her. T’Pol was a very striking woman. It’s too bad there couldn’t ever be anything between us. For a while Trip thought she might be attracted to him. She seemed to react just a bit too strongly to Ah’len and Lianna.

In the past few months though, she seemed to spend more time with the Captain. She almost never came to engineering and he rarely had a reason to go to the bridge. She hadn’t even made any comments, snide or otherwise, about Kaitaama. Oh well, probably thinks I’m some rutting ape who can’t keep it in pants. He tried to contain his chuckle and went back to his reading.

T’Pol was startled when the alarm chime sounded. It seemed like almost no time had passed. Trip snapped up and looked at her. “How’re you feeling? Did that help?”

She felt better. Not perfect but well enough to make it through the next two days. “Yes… Thank you for your consideration.”

“Don’t mention it.” He picked up his tools and other small items. He reached for the small device in front of her.

“May I keep it?”

Trip leaned back after the request. He gave her a curious look. “Sure. I don’t need it for anything. I made it for you.”

She picked up the device and held it in her hand. She focused intently on it until she heard his voice.

“You coming?” She heard him continue down the maintenance access tube.

“Yes Commander. I am right behind you.”

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Chapter 4Bounty

As Doctor Phlox waited for the latest test results, he reminded himself to thank Commander Tucker for the food. It was quite good. And Sub-Commander T’Pol had ignored him once it arrived and allowed him to work. He was thankful for that.

And suddenly worried. She had ended her attempts to mate with him once Commander Tucker brought food. Maybe she reacted badly to the food?

He entered the decon chamber to find T’Pol curled up in a corner sweating profusely. He rushed over to her. “Sub-Commander, are you all right?”

He reached out to take her temperature and she violently slapped his hand away. “Do not touch me!”

He backed away slightly. She seemed to compose herself for a moment. “I apologize.”

He crouched down just out of reach. “What is wrong Sub-Commander?”

“I must get out of here,” she moaned.

“I cannot let you do that. I need to make sure the virus is contained.”

“I must get out of here. I must mate or I will die.”

“I am working on that T’Pol. Since your cycle was artificially induced, I am not sure if it mating would be adequate.” Or even if a non-Vulcan mate would be good enough.

“I must get out of here,” she moaned again.

He shook his head. The fever must be making her delusional. At least the food seemed to reduce her sexual overtures toward him.

A couple of hours later and Phlox was engrossed in his work with a familiar voice came through the comm. “Hey Doc, how’re you and T’Pol doing?”

He reached up to open the view port to decon. “I believe I have the virus contained well enough so that Sub-Commander T’Pol’s life is no longer in danger. However I have not yet been able to develop an inoculation. Have you had any luck finding the Captain, Commander?”

Trip shook his head. “No. Malcolm’s tracking down some leads, but so far no dice. I was just heading back to my quarters to see if I can get some sleep.”

“You need to rest Commander.”

“I doubt I can with the Captain gone and you and T’Pol stuck in decon.”

“You do not have…”

At that moment Doctor Phlox felt himself flung aside by Sub-Commander T’Pol. She pressed her face to the window.

“Trip, let me out of here! Please!”

“Sorry, T’Pol. Phlox says you’re sick and could expose the rest of the crew.”

“Please Trip, I will not hurt you! I need out of here! If I cannot, I will die…”

“Doc, is she all right?”

“No, the virus has affected her control. Her symptoms are getting worse.”

Doctor Phlox was fairly certain the young man did not hear a word he said. He watched as Commander Tucker’s and Sub-Commander T’Pol’s eyes were locked onto each other. She was gently tracing the outline of his face in window with two fingers from her right hand. She spoke softly to him in what sounded like Vulcan but was too quiet for him to hear. He was certain the microphone could not pick it up.

Commander Tucker seemed lost in a trance.

Suddenly Doctor Phlox recognized the reason for Sub-Commander T’Pol’s change in behavior. She had chosen her intended mate. My task is suddenly more complicated.

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T’Pol found herself in the hall. She had escaped decon. She had to reach him. She needed to mate or die. But she was lost. She could not remember the path to his quarters.

Her body was screaming out for him with such an intensity she could not think. She had to think to remember the how to find him. Without a mating bond, there would be nothing drawing him to her. She would have to seek him out.

While searching for a way to reach him, she saw Lt. Reed approach. Just as she prepared to disable him, a feeble voice in the back of her head said No… He knows how to find him…

Yes, Lt. Reed’s quarters are near his. He will take me there! Her body yelled gloriously.

She beat down her revulsion as she attempted to convince him to take her there. The effort caused her to stumble as she approached him. She would not allow him to touch her but she needed his help to find her chosen mate. Once Lt. Reed took the helmet off, she would disable him.

Moments later she realized her plan had failed. He would not escort her there. As she danced nervously tapping her chin in an attempt to decide her next course, the feeble voice said That way… Past Lt. Reed…

She growled her charge and launched her attack. Her body screamed in failure as she saw him raise the weapon…

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Trip lay back in his bunk resting. The past couple of days had been pretty stressful and he needed to relax. The Captain was safely back and Phlox had assured him he no longer had to worry about Sub-Commander T’Pol.

He was a bit concerned about the look in her eyes both times he visited decon. He recognized the look in her eyes during his first visit. She gave him the same look as she spun around in his arms after he applied the gel to her ears their first time in that decon chamber. He was certain it was the same look a gazelle saw just before the lion pounced on it for the kill.

The second look was quite different. It forced him to focus on her eyes. Her deep brown eyes that melted his will to resist. They seemed to have a hunger that took control over him. Phlox had to snap him out it. He still had no idea what came over him. Must be some Vulcan thing.

He smiled and chuckled to himself. Apparently she must have had a similar effect on Malcolm. He seemed pretty shook up after returning her to sickbay. His report was simple and succinct. Sub-Commander T’Pol was irrational and I was forced to stun her in order to return her to decon. No details, no more anything. Malcolm made it clear he did not want to talk about the experience.

He still thought Phlox’s instructions were strange. He insisted I not return to decon as I appeared to make T’Pol’s symptoms worse. I wonder how I could’ve done that? He just shook his head and turned over to go to sleep. Hopefully tomorrow would less stressful.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

T’Pol knelt in front of her mediation candle. She had been unsettled all day due to a reality she was forced to confront.

She was approaching sexual maturity. Although her mother had instructed that her mating cycle would be triggered by Koss’s blood fever once they were bonded, she never told T’Pol what would happen if she was still unattached when she reached maturity. T’Pol had always assumed her mating cycle would lie dormant without a mate to stimulate it. Her father had passed on many years ago and as far as she knew, her mother never entered another mating cycle again.

But that clearly might not be the case. A virus had triggered a premature mating cycle. Doctor Phlox could not be sure, but he believed the only reason he had been able to control the hormone imbalance was due to her immaturity. He did not believe his method would work once she reached maturity. If one was triggered or happened naturally after that time, she would have to mate or die.

She thought about Koss. She had been purposely vague when she delayed their previous bonding ceremony. That option was most likely still available to her.

He is your betrothed. Her logical mind said to her. It sounded feeble.

No! Replied her emotional core. The response was clearly a demand.

He is your duty. This time it was barely a whisper.

No! No! No! Not him! Her emotional core increased its demand.

She knew its choice. It had been clear in its choice… No, its demand since she first met him.

Trip! I want him! Only him!

She knew this already. Nearly every time her emotional core broke even slightly free from her logical mind’s tight grasp, it made its demand clear. When her mating cycle neared its peak, her logical mind entered into a conspiracy with her emotional core to reach him. At the time her logical mind realized it would have to cooperate in order to survive. But it had only been a defense mechanism to keep her alive.

That was no longer the case. She was now out of danger. The conspiracy ended and the conflict resumed.

He is not Vulcan!

He would be loyal to you!

Her logical mind and emotional core again launched their war within.

He is irrational!

His scent!

He is too primitive!

His wonderful blue eyes!

He is irrational.

His strong chest!

He is not Vulcan… Her logical mind began losing the battle and only repeated earlier arguments.

His strong, rough hands!

Her emotional core beat back her logical mind by forcing her to remember his scent and the few times he had touched her with his hands. It created new sensations of those hands roaming her body. Nothing at all like the smooth, soft hands of a Vulcan architect. The sensations that hands only strong, rough and calloused from years of manual labor could invoke. Over her ears. Over her nipples. Down her spine. Between her legs…

She was spiraling out of control. Her logical mind must win the battle! She had to regain control.

He… Her logical mind rejoined the conflict.

is… It slowly gained strength.

not… It was starting to win.

an… It had gained the upper hand.

option! Her logical mind had finally regained control. It had captured her emotional core in its firm grasp and restored her control.

She shifted in her robes. She was covered in sheen of sweat. Regaining control had been a challenge. She returned her focus to the candle.

She breathed deeply. “He is not an option,” she whispered and blew out the candle.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Doctor Phlox reviewed his latest test results with T’Pol. “The good news is that the virus appears not to have made the Pa’naar Syndrome worse. The virus seemed to target your Sinctin Gland and caused it to prematurely active its hormone generation.”

T’Pol avoided his gaze and simply stared at the floor.

Phlox had difficulty understanding T’Pol’s reaction to her ‘ailment’. “T’Pol, there is nothing to be ashamed of about your behavior. Your response was a purely biological drive that you could not control. Without the overwhelming drive to mate, your people probably could not flourish as they have.”

Developing a treatment for T’Pol’s condition proved especially challenging. When her symptoms first manifested, she directed her attention toward him. He had to both ward off her advances and search for a treatment at the same time. As her cycle progressed, her focused turned more on escape. When Commander Tucker arrived at decon the second time, he realized why. She had chosen her preferred mate.

That added a new set of complications to the situation. If he could not find a way to correct Sub-Commander T’Pol’s hormone imbalance, she would have to mate. That meant he also had to find a way to control or eliminate the virus’ ability to spread. If Commander Tucker were required to mate with Sub-Commander T’Pol, Phlox had to ensure his safety would not be in jeopardy.

Which brought up another concern: Would Commander Tucker be able to survive mating without… too much injury? He was not sure. One thing Phlox did not worry about was whether he would be willing to assist. Commander Tucker seemed not averse to alien females. Well, except for Feezel. Phlox smiled to himself. But that was simply due to his human morality. What a fool! Turning down the sexual overtures of a Denobulan female. He doubted Commander Tucker fully understood the intense pleasure he had turned down.

He looked at T’Pol again. Her response to a natural occurrence was worse than Commander Tucker’s response to Feezel’s advances.

Vulcans! He was frustrated by her response. The only species more repressed than humans. He shook his head.

Fortunately this had all been made moot when he discovered a way to counteract the virus’ affect on her gland. He had only to deal with her embarrassment.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Chapter 5The Expanse

T’Pol heard the chime to her quarters go off. “Yes.”

Trip took a small step into her space. “Hey T’Pol, mind if I come in.”

“Not at all Commander.”

Trip sat across from her on the floor. “I’d really appreciate if you could come to movie night tomorrow. It’d mean a lot to me…” As Trip caught her arched eyebrow he quickly added, “...and the Captain.”

She did not immediately answer.

“It’s the best one of its kind made. Captain’s favorite.”

“Are you certain a movie is the best way to commemorate the 90th anniversary of humanity’s first contact with Vulcans?”

“It’s the best way we got.” He paused for a bit as he gave her a serious face. “The movie doesn’t show Vulcans in a great light, but I hope you’ll come anyway. I think you’d like it if you don’t let it offend you.”

“I would not be offended.”

She hasn’t seen the movie yet. It’s pretty bad. “Yeah… okay. So will you come then?” He gave her his best pleading face.

“Are you sure the crew will not be uncomfortable with me there?”

Trip gave out an exasperated sigh. “T’Pol, you are one of the crew!”

He could tell she wasn’t convinced. He shrugged. “Okay, suit yourself.”

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Malcolm looked around the room. He didn’t see Trip anywhere. “Captain, have you seen Commander Tucker? I thought sure he’d be here for this.”

Archer just shook his head. “Nope. I haven’t seen him since lunch. I can’t believe he’d miss this. It’s a great movie.”

“He told me something came up. He’d probably be a bit late,” Hoshi explained. “He told me to go ahead and start without him.”

She dimmed the lights and started the movie.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

T’Pol’s door chimed. Captain Archer has probably come to try to convince me to attend. I thought at breakfast I had made it clear I would not. “Yes.”

Instead, Trip walked in carrying a large bowl of popcorn. “Hey, I thought you’d like to see a movie.”

“Commander, I already said that I have no intention of joining the others.”

He smiled at her. “We’ll watch the movie here. I brought popcorn.”

T’Pol gave him a scowl but he just brushed it aside. He moved her screen to face where she was sitting on the floor.

“The screen’s kind of small, but that’s okay.” He sat down next to her and put the popcorn between them.

Once T’Pol recognized he did not ask her to watch the movie and simply invaded her space, she resigned herself to the situation. Normally she would have protested and insisted on being alone and provoked an argument, but not tonight. The new treatment regime Doctor Phlox developed was exhausting and she simply did not have the strength to argue with him right now.

She almost welcomed the distraction he would provide. “Would you like some tea Commander?”

Trip gave her a slight shake of his head. “No thanks. I’m good.”

As she watched the title move across the screen she became confused. “I did not think that was the title of the movie the Captain mentioned.”

He gave her another grin. “It isn’t. The Captain would never let me show this one.”

“Why not?”

“This one was made six years after first contact. It’s a biography of Zephram Cochrane, not a feature film. It doesn’t show him as this ideal hero to humanity. It shows him as a greedy drunk who stumbles into greatness.”

T’Pol was curious. He did not seem apologetic as last night. “And how are the Vulcan’s portrayed in this one?”

“They aren’t.”

Trip caught her confused response.

“This is a movie about Zephram Cochrane, not first contact. Vulcans aren’t important to the story…”

He paused to judge her reaction. He thought for sure she would have protested his presence by now. He hoped they would get a chance to argue a bit first. “Now pay attention... If something doesn’t make sense, let me know. We’ll pause it and I’ll try to explain.”

T’Pol signaled her agreement by focusing on the screen and reaching for some popcorn.

Trip smiled to himself as he remembered her first attempt to eat breadsticks with a knife and fork—and was successful at it. She’s come along way.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

T’Pol heard her door chime. She glanced briefly at the chronometer. He was right on time. Commander Tucker had not informed her of the reason for his visit, only that he would stop by at 2045 hours. “Come in.”

Trip walked in carrying a couple of items covered in cloth. “I brought these for you.”

“What are they?”

Trip walked over to one of her shelves and placed the items on it. “They’re bookends. I made them for you.” He removed the cloth covering them.

T’Pol looked at the two items. They were curious looking, unlike anything she had seen before. They were a very dark gray, almost black, and appeared to be made with brushed metal. They were also of a strange design. “What are they made from?” By his response, their weight was not insignificant.

He turned and smiled at her. “They started off as the tips of flow regulators. We blew a couple a few weeks back. I cut them off, mounted and blued them.”

“Why did you make them? They appear to have taken considerable effort.” She found this man’s desire to make items for her odd.

Trip was certain he was blushing. “You know when we watched that movie a couple weeks back? I saw that you didn’t have bookends for this shelf. You used other books to keep them up…” He paused to give her a grin. “So I thought I’d make you some. Kind of a present for our own first contact anniversary. Two years ago tonight.”

T’Pol cocked her head. “You are mistaken, Commander, that was last week. I am certain you were at the Captain’s table when he mentioned it.”

“No… aahh… well…” He smiled and ran his hand through his hair. “I meant our time in the decon chamber. You know… first contact…” He wiggled his fingers at her.

His chuckle started to turn into a laugh until he could tell she was not amused. He recognized the slight change in her expression as mild annoyance.

“Okay, okay bad joke… I’m sorry… I just wanted to do something nice to show my… our appreciation for you sticking with us. You’ve helped us out of a lot of jams and I want you to know I… we appreciate it.”

“Thank you for your gift Commander. I appreciate the sentiment.”

Trip rubbed his eyes and scratched the stubble on his face. “I’m heading over to the mess hall for a snack.” He gave her a silly grin. “Want to come with me? I’m buying.”

T’Pol cocked her head. “The mess hall does not require remuneration.”

Trip shook his head. “It’s just an expression… So do you want to come with me or not?”

T’Pol looked down at her almost full mug. “I will join you. I would like some more tea. I am nearly out.”

A few minutes later T’Pol sat sipping at her tea while watching Commander Tucker eat a piece of pie and read some diagnostic output. She thought about her last letter from Ambassador Soval. He was putting pressure on her to return to Vulcan. He believed her position within the VHC was deteriorating. She looked closely at Commander Tucker’s face. I will not leave Enterprise voluntarily. I am part of this crew.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

T’Pol knelt in front of the small device to meditate. Normally she used a candle. Lately though, when her control was the weakest, she found herself drawn to the device Commander Tucker made for her months ago. She had increased the frequency of its use since learning the VHC ordered her return to Vulcan instead of remaining aboard Enterprise to pursue the Xindi into the Expanse.

T’Pol faced her choice. To follow orders, obey her superiors and return to Vulcan. Or to keep the promise she made to herself not to abandon Captain Archer and Commander Tucker when they needed her.

To do what was expected of her or to do what she wanted.

Her choice was the Vulcan way or the Human way.

T’Pol made her choice. In the end, there was really no choice at all.

She was Vulcan. She would do what was expected of her. At least her superiors had allowed Enterprise to return her to… Vulcan. She was no longer sure the word home applied. She could spend a few more days with them. They were to launch in the morning.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

“I agree, Travis. I don’t think Commander Tucker is handling his sister’s death well at all.”

T’Pol normally refrained from listening to crew conversations but Malcolm was not trying to hide his statements and she had not seen Commander Tucker since he found out his sister had been killed. She allowed her curiosity to briefly flourish.

Travis nodded his head. “Yeah, he about bit my head off when I asked if there was some place I could send flowers.”

Hoshi put her mug down. “He hasn’t even tried to contact his parents. I’m really worried about him. His sister meant the world to him.”

T’Pol noticed the conversation among the three stopped at that point. She also noticed none of them resumed eating. They sat silently as they looked at their food. One by one, each quietly left the mess hall.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

T’Pol picked up the small device Commander Tucker had given her. She had only briefly seen him once since they left orbit and that was on the bridge. As she was no longer an official member of the crew, she could come up with no logical reason to enter engineering. She would use returning the device as a reason to visit his quarters. Very soon she would be arriving on Vulcan and she wanted to see him before she left. Privately.

As she walked the corridor toward his quarters, she debated multiple ways she could broach the subject. By the time she reached his quarters, she had selected one. When you return from the Expanse, I would like to have this back. She hoped he would understand the gesture. But she knew that was futile. As soon as she returned to Vulcan, the High Command would discover her Pa’naar Syndrome and she would be stripped of her rank, never to return to Earth. Even if somehow Enterprise did return, he would never be able to see her again.

A slight scowl came across her face when he did not answer his door. It was after 2100 hours and he was still in engineering. She turned and made her way there.

“Sub-Commander, I didn’t expect to see you down here.” It was Lt. Hess and she looked tired. “What can I do for you?”

“I am looking for Commander Tucker. Do you know where he is?”

“Hmm, let me see.” She flipped through a work schedule on her PADD. “He’s probably in maintenance tube E9. He went to replace a power coupling. Do you want me to let him know you’re looking for him?”

“There is no need. I will find him myself.” She turned and left.

She found maintenance tube E9 with the access panel off. She was about to crawl into the tube when she heard an unexpected sound. She stopped frozen and listened to make sure she heard correctly. It was the sound of… crying. She stiffened and listened some more. She distinctly heard sobbing and the occasional sniffle. Twice she heard a fist slam against something metallic.

She opened her hand to look at the device he gave her. She thought about their time in the other maintenance tube. She closed her hand around the small device and headed to the Captain’s ready room.

T’Pol made her choice. In the end, there was really no choice at all.

The End

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A whole mess of folks have made comments

This was really good. You did an awesome job at getting into T'Pol's head and I really liked the way you used the episodes themselves.

Any chance of a sequel?

I love it! Very restrained. Very close to the feel of the actual episodes. I love the theme of the candle--was the engineered candle something you came up with or was it in the original Catwalk episode? I can't remember. Either way, brilliant use of that as a theme.

As I told another writer, what makes the Trip n' T'Pol relationship so appealing to me is the mutual respect they have for each other. You captured that.

What a nice series of little antedotes that show the 'behind the scenes' build up to their relationship - very subtle, not overdone...well until maybe the 'first contact' bookends! But hey, stretching the truth a bit is what makes fan fiction so fun! And you tied it off well in the end.

That's the kind of story I miss seeing here more often.
Before the angst, before the misunderstandings, before the stupid scripts. Thumbs up!

I also thought Trip's comment about the anniversary of their "first contact" was the most surprising (shocking) thing in the story, but you have to have the characters surprise you once in a while. I think you have to take some risks--expand the limits of what we know about the character. If B&B had done it, we would have said, "sure" that's the way it went.

I also want to commend you for the movie night scene, where he brings her a Zephram Cocrane documentary, knowing the official movie-night movie they will be showing is disrespectful of Vulcans. (Very nice twist! Very original) And then Trip hopes he'll get to argue with her about the new movie! Take it from me--that is a true route to romance. My husband and I also built our relationship out of a freindship based on arguing!

Whoops forgot to leave my name. The post above is from Ann Norman (RedMarsMom)

I enjoyed this story immensely. You protray such a nice friendship between Trip and T'Pol. I love seeing them interact and always want for more. Thank you for sharing this story with us.

That was great. I liked the compilation of moments building to Tpol's decision to stay. :) ! Fantastic...

That was so good. Thank you, you have written their friendship coming together so naturally, and the last scene where she makes her choice clinches it. Well done!

Well done!

Thanks everyone for the kind words. For sure there will be season three stories after the DVDs are released. I'm planning three.

I may write a season two sequel to this one. I wanted to focus this one on T'Pol's choice to remain aboard Enterprise and ignore the wishes of her superiors. I have another story idea closely tied to this one but not pertinent to her decision so I left it out.

I really liked the behind the scenes ... falling for Trip ... idea. Great job.

Wow. Excellent, that was very well done! :)

Very nice Kevin: It helps to know a bit more why she chose to stay against the High Command's orders. Nicely done. T.

This is great. The end is sooo moving! More please!

ABSOLUTELY loved it!!! Im from South Africa and we just started the 4rth season over here(lucky us that wwe still have a couple of episodes left)! Thanx a lot! PLEASE write some more!

Enjoyed this. But I have a question. Any thoughts on "Carbon Creek"? I know it was a story set 200 years earlier, but what about T'Pol's return to her cabin at the end and pulling out T'Mir's purse? Any thoughts on how T'Pol might feel about humans considering her second foremother's contact with them, and how those feelings might have influenced her?