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He Builds Things - I Blow Things Up

Author - Linda | Genre - Angst | Genre - Challenge: POV | H | Rating - G
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"Clipping Clue-Pons" POV CHALLENGE

He Builds Things - I Blow Things Up

By Linda

Rating: G
Disclaimer: Paramount: just go away. You own these characters but you do not deserve to, to my way of thinking.
Genre: POV Challenge, angst
Summary: Malcolm Reed reflects on his friend Trip as the Enterprise stands into danger in The Expanse.


Maybe I like to blow up things because it is a vicarious emotional release. I wish I had more Vulcan techniques to draw on and I would ask our resident Vulcan to tutor me, except for the fact that I do not want to be interrupting what I perceive as a budding romance. I do not want it to seem like I am a rival for her affection. He is my best friend on board, and I am sensitive to his moods even if my attempts to comfort him take unexpected turns which make my efforts seem ham-handed – like months ago when I asked him about a memorial for his sister. Was that ever a mistake. He was not ready. Saying she was no different than the other seven million was part of the denial step. I am no psychologist, but I should have realized that at the time, and just shut up. But that did blow over and we are still friends.

No, it did not blow over, at least for me. I had a need for a memorial myself. The time Trip took me home on our leave, and I met Lizzy, was one of the happier leaves of my career. I was tongue-tied, but that was not noticeable within my usual stiff conversational mode. Lovely. She was…simply lovely. I wrote to her thanking her for her hospitality and she dashed off a post card of a palm tree in a Florida sunset. Then after that, I could not think of an excuse to keep the correspondence flowing, so it ended there.

Perhaps I was afraid of Trip’s reaction should I ask his permission to initiate a courtship with his sister. I would not have continued to correspond with her without his permission. That just isn’t done behind the back of one’s friend, at least in my understanding of ethics. In addition, there are the needs of the many as the Vulcans say… I could not risk damaging the working relationships with the other officers on this ship by having a personal relationship with their family members - not with what we are facing now.

No matter. I will repress my feelings as always. But I will have my usual form of emotional release to fall back on. For lord knows there is enough opportunity in the expanse to blow things up. I am glad that Trip has found his own form of emotional release. T’Pol is a lovely woman with a deeply ethical, logical, and dare I say it – highly emotional core hidden beneath that stiff unbending exterior. Takes one to know one, we of the stiff upper lip.

I am so glad I did not stand up and let them know I was there working on an auxiliary armaments control panel in the engine room that day. I cried inside too, when he released the pain in the words: “she was my baby sister!”. I echoed the pain in silent words “she might have been my lover”. Well MAYBE she could have been. We will never know, will we? I will carry her image to my grave: the photo of her sitting on the chair with her arm touching the back of it. I memorized it on visits to Trip’s quarters, through surreptitious glances at it. I could never think of a way to get a copy of it except through my eyes to the place in my mind where I let my inner most feelings dwell.

But Trip has T’Pol. She drew the pain out of him and comforted him. I know they have been intimate; no man shares that sort of pain with a woman who is not his mother or his lover. But for me, perhaps there never will be a lover like that. I have not learned how to reach out like Trip has done. That is the difference between us – he mends things and I destroy them. But if I ever get a Lizzy, like he has his T’Pol, I will not let her again slip away through lack of courage. I have learned my lesson. Sometimes you have to reach out and fix something instead of blowing it up.

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A whole mess of folks have made comments

Oh this is wonderful to see Malcolm's point of view of Trip and T'Pol from the Forgotten. I like that you had Malcolm go on shoreleave with Trip and Meeting Elizabeth.Your story ads another layer to Malcolm trying to draw out Trip not dealing with her loss. Great job Linda.

Beautiful! Interesting! You have quite the imagination. Everything you do is so original. I'm going to have to read those Soval stories.

Great job!

What an excellent last line!

Oh, I think I'm gonna cry. That was beautiful!

Sweet, Linda... so tragic, too. Poor Malcolm.

wonderful, it really did tug at the heartstrings

A really interesting and unique POV! I liked the story you spelled out for Malcom, it was simply something I had at least never thought of! Great job once again, you have a knack for great original ideas.

Interesting story line. I like that bit of imagination to flesh out Malcolm. Thumbs up!

This was nice. Original and unique POV. I also liked the idea of Malcolm going on the shore leave with Trip, giving him a chance to meet Lizzy.

Nice POV. I always wonder how Reed perscieves things. This was a good way to tell it.T

Well everyone, I am so glad that my take on Malcolm works ok. I think discussions with Julie helped flesh it out. I hope she does one too.

Oh, wow. That was amazing. I'm gonna cry! :*)

Poor Malcolm. The combined loss of Lizzy and knowing of Trip's love for T'Pol seems to have taught him something quite important though. Maybe the poor fellow will find a girl someday. An interesting and unique POV.