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Searching for Kov - Chapter 4

Author - Myst123
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Searching for Kov

by myst123

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Mystery

T/T 2004 Summer Challenge

Disclaimer: It all belongs to Paramount. No infringement intended.

****

Chapter 4

The voyage to P’Jem was underway, and the four of them were closing in on their destination. The team had worked out a routine for piloting the ship, but put the ship on autopilot while planning their next move.

“We will land here,” T’Pol indicated on the map of P’Jem, projected on the monitor in the small tactical area at the rear of the main cabin.

Because they were bound by their duty not to reveal anything confidential, Kal’r and T’Ive had not been able to supply T’Pol with more than hints, but she shared with her colleagues her interpretation of the events up to this point.

“Kov may pose a threat because he does not adhere to the strict Vulcan rules of our society, and he disregards our strictures *without fear.* By that I am attempting to convey to you how a human would view Kov’s actions. Vulcans do not act in accordance with Surak’s philosophy out of fear, but because we want to promote a peaceful, rational existence.”

“Kov wouldn’t hurt a fly. The greater Vulcan society doesn’t need to worry about him,” Trip objected.

“But some would *worry* about him.”

“He’s only trying to be himself. What’s the problem?”

“Vulcans cannot afford to…experiment…with their emotions. Without Surak we are a violent, suspicious species. Kov may be an exception, but unless he can manufacture his personality, he is promoting dangerous doctrine when he ignores the rules of our existence.”

“So Vulcan’s can’t explore their own individuality? You all have to be in the Vulcan mode at all times?”

“Commander Tucker, it is dangerous for Vulcans to leave the path of Surak.”

***

Phlox signaled Malcom with an inclination of his head to leave Trip and T’Pol to their discussion. The two men returned to the fore of the cabin.

“What is that discussion all about,” Malcolm questioned, mystified by Trip’s intensity as he cross-examined T’Pol.

“The two need to clarify what Kov represents about Vulcans, for each of them. Perhaps through an understanding about Kov they can learn to understand each other,” Phlox speculated. Malcolm was even more mystified.

****

Neither Trip nor T’Pol noticed the departures of Phlox and Malcolm.

“How can it be dangerous? What the hell will happen to you if you ignore a rule or two?” Trip demanded.

“I will lose control of myself, and may…hurt…others,” T’Pol explained.

“You mean you would physically hurt someone if you decided to eat six meals a day instead of the celery stick you consume twice a day?”

“You are exaggerating, Mr. Tucker, and showing my culture disrespect as well. Yes, if I indulged myself the result could be at the expense of another, or of myself.”

“This is crazy, T’Pol. Is this why you’re acting like nothing happened between us? It broke Surak Rule #523 or something?”

“My decision not to explore a sexual liaison with you was based upon my own struggle with the effects of the Expanse upon me, and because of your unanticipated interpretation of my actions as a prelude to an intimate relationship. By initiating the exploration, I gave you false ideas about myself.”

Trip was furious. “You used me for some damn Vulcan experiment and then blamed me when I didn’t play by your twisted rules.”

“No, I was not abiding by the laws of Surak at that time, and therefore could not make sound decisions. I will acknowledge that I unjustly assigned blame to you for your view of the situation, your interpretation of our liaison in a romantic light.”

“I never said anything about wanting a “romantic relationship” with you!”

“But it is what you wanted. At that time I could not consent to such a connection until I had adhered to my Vulcan nature once more.”

“At that time?” Trip caught the change in T’Pol’s voice and realized she was telling him something. What had been altered, he did not know, but suddenly his dreams seemed possible. Determined not to allow hope, he asked, “What do you mean, ‘at that time?’”

“Without proper mediation and with degraded physical well-being, it was unwise of me to embark upon any new venture. My self-control is essential if I am to function logically. You are able to indulge your emotions, but I cannot.”

“Is that how you see me? As someone who *indulges* his emotions at the expense of everything else?”

“No, for I know you are capable of very logical thought, but you are…volatile at the same time.”

“Give me an example.”

“You almost derailed Captain Archer’s progress to get Degra to cooperate with us. Was your own emotional response more important than the success of this mission?”

Trip hated T’Pol at that moment.

“All right, so I wasn’t exactly rational. But the man killed my sister and seven million others. What did you want me to do, congratulate him?”

“No, but you indulged your need to chastise him at the expense of the rest of humanity.”

“For god’s sake, T’Pol, it was because I didn’t *indulge my emotions* as you so quaintly put it that I confronted Degra as I did! Humans must respond, must mourn. I didn’t. I bottled up my emotions and that confrontation with Degra was the result. Humans have to emote or we go crazy. Haven’t you learned anything about us in three years?”

T’Pol was silent. She recognized the truth of Mr. Tucker’s words. He hadn’t been emotional in so many instances where she had expected he would be. Instead, he was unfailingly cheerful and focused on the well being of the crew.

“Why did you not become emotional?”

“I don’t know. There was too much pain and sorrow for everyone. In retrospect I realize I thought I’d go crazy if I thought about Elizabeth. You don’t know how much I love her. Every day it was too much. I thought about her constantly. But slowly I came to accept her death. I realize now that over the months I thought about her every minute, then every 5 minutes, then every 15 minutes, then every hour, then every couple of hours. I was finally able to mourn without shattering. You don’t know how much it meant to me that you where then when I needed you.”

“But I did nothing.”

“You were there. When I needed you. You did more than you know. But now you say I was indulging my emotions.”

“No, I didn’t understand. Vulcans cannot express such sorrow or we will become extremely unsettled.”

“And humans must…explode…eventually or they will go nuts.”

“There is no middle ground for us. No way to coordinate my requirements for logic and rational behavior with your human need for emotional upheaval.

“Surak is that inflexible? He provides no means for Vulcans to coexist with non-Vulcans? Or even with Vulcans who seek to live by alternative philosophies?”

“Vulcans must adhere to Surak’s rules, or we are lost. Commander Tucker, that is the logical way.”

P’Jem came into view. Trip looked out at the planet where T’Pol had first discovered Vulcans were more complex than she wished to acknowledge. He also knew she needed to return to her Vulcan roots and renew herself there. Until she was ready, which might mean never, he had to be patient.

“Let’s find Kov,” Trip proposed.

TBC

I hope I can finish this by the deadline tomorrow!


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Seven people have made comments

Aah . . . a "real" conversation at last. I do hope they can find a middle ground though. (And it would be nice if they could find Kov!)

Keep it coming Myst...I am eager to discover how you resolved the conflict.

Loved the conversation between Trip and T'Pol - talk about putting your cards on the table! And I loved how understanding and wise Phlox was. Can't wait to see what happens next, thanks for a great story. Ali D :~)

Oooooooooh, I'm loving this, T'Pol being the logical being the logical ice cube she can be, keep it coming,a very thought provoking fic, excellent..............

we hope you can finish too!

Great story, myst! I'm anxious to read what happens on P'Jem. Keep up the wonderful work!

Myst, this is such a great story. I can't wait to see what happens next. And I love how you write T'Pol... not some emotional woman but the more logical, level-headed Vulcan woman we've all known and loved... including Trip!!!!! ;)