Searching for Kov - Chapter 6

Searching for Kov

by myst123

Disclaimers in Chapter 1

~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 6

Two days had passed since the return to Vulcan. Saco, upon learning that his son had been kidnapped…detained…by a group of the most conservative members of the VHC, requested an official explanation from those involved. The two groups met before a panel composed of VHC representatives. Saco was given a standard response that Kov was too emotional and needed to be calmed with the logic of Surak. Saco informed the faction responsible that it was possible a crime had been committed by transporting an unconscious, possibly unwilling, Vulcan across the universe, and he was told that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, and that Kov could potentially disrupt Vulcan society by his continued questioning of the teachings of Surak. Saco disagreed with that interpretation of his son’s actions, and requested the panel instruct the other side to refrain in future from such actions. At this point it was clear the standoff between the warring parties was growing extremely intense, and T’Pol banned her friends from the proceedings to prevent them from witnessing such histrionics.

Trip, Malcolm and Phlox retreated to a café and enjoyed the relative cool of the evening. On Vulcan, everything was relative. On Earth the dramatic confrontation they witnessed would have been classified as an ‘exchange of pleasantries’ and the late evening sun oppressively hot. Here, the former was ‘frighteningly virulent’ and the latter an atmosphere conducive for relaxation. Trip was beginning to love the contradictions and drama of Vulcan life. It was so subtle, but so powerful. The reunion between Saco and Kov had been very emotional – the two had crossed wrists and touched palms, which T’Pol told him was a Vulcan parent/child greeting. All this was more surprising and intriguing to Trip than anything he had witnessed before. However, he was worried that T’Pol did not find the same joy in the confrontation before the panel nor in the restoration of the son to the father. She was clearly tense, even more so than in the Expanse, if possible.

“What do you think will happen to Kov?” Malcolm asked.

“Probably nothing,” Trip responded. “Doesn’t this all seem like much ado about nothing? What is it with these Vulcans? The group who kidnapped Kov went to such extremes to suppress his opinions, but bungled it by not verifying with the monks if they would cooperate. To some of them it is logical to rewire Kov, but not to others. Logic is just another word for blinders, as far as I can tell. But I can’t see Vulcans doing anything really rash to change things. They can be real sticks in the mud. Kov is certainly different.”

“I hope you are right, Mr. Tucker.” Phlox seemed less convinced than Trip that the incident would be as easily resolved. “Vulcans have spent centuries working to control their emotions, and may be far more threatened by individuals like Kov than we realize. When he was with the V’tosh ka’tur, Kov could be classified as illogical, but when he is functioning well within Vulcan society without problems, then he becomes more dangerous. Others may begin to imitate him, and Vulcan society could have a crisis. It sounds improbable to us that something so minor could be so disruptive, but, because Vulcans are so private and restrained, we may tend to underestimate how fragile their control really is.”

“When you put it like that, I hope I’m right, too.” Trip was anxious for T’Pol to return. He wanted to talk to her, to find out what Kov had said on their return to Vulcan. She had closed herself off to him again. In a human he would assume she was just being moody, but he was beginning to realize she shut him out when she was scared. In the Expanse he found that she would push him away when he would try to help, but when he pulled back and withdrew his support, she would cave and call him back. Normally Trip wasn’t into high maintenance relationships, but since the beginning of their search for Kov he knew something was causing T’Pol tremendous internal turmoil, and now he understood that she needed him to be a rock while she resolved her inner conflict. He wished she would confide in him, but knew she probably never would. Trip suspected T’Pol had told Phlox whatever the problem was and was grateful the doctor was there for her, was such a good friend to her.

Unwilling to discuss T’Pol with Malcolm and Phlox, he turned the conversation to the Vulcan landscape, which Phlox found enchanting with its beautiful color and ancient atmosphere, and which Malcolm found tactically appealing, for the barren land and strong sun were forcing him to think creatively about maneuvers. Trip looked at them fondly and listened to them talk about the same piece of land visible from their table, their conversation alternating between the picturesque and the strategic. Trip looked out at the scenery and thought of T’Pol and the affection she had for this forbidding planet.

***

After sending Trip and the others away, T’Pol continued to listen to the debate over Kov’s treatment. She remembered how her own memories of Jossen’s death had been repressed, and how traumatic it was when they resurfaced. She thought about Menos and his treachery, Tolaris and his greed for emotions, the living-dead Vulcans on the Seleya and she knew Vulcans had to protect themselves against their worst traits. But Kov was not deceitful nor was he uncontrollable. T’Pol could not find the arguments, put forth to rehabilitate Kov, reasonable. More memories came to her: of her own treatment by the doctors when it was discovered she had Pa’nar Syndrome; of T’Mir’s tales of Earth in the mid-20th century and of Mestral; of V’Lar and her willingness to shake hands with humans; of Yuris and his willingness to sacrifice his own career to support her; and again she thought of her colleagues, her friends, on the Seleya. There was and always had been variety in Vulcan society, and their society had survived those differences. T’Pol felt overwhelmed by her thoughts, a sensation she had hoped she had put behind her when she was cured of the damage from the Trellium D. Menos’ words, which had acted like a slap in the face at the time, came back to her: Vulcans repress emotions, not the memories. As twisted as he was, he was right; those words had lain dormant within her subconscious for the past year, resurfacing now as she witnessed the debate about rehabilitating a guiltless man.

In the end the officials who had Kov kidnapped were not held accountable. They were powerful men and women who used Surak as a means of controlling various segments of society. Kov was free to go with his father, but was forbidden to return to P’Jem and the monks. T’Pol waited outside until the two men came out of the assembly room and approached them. Kov saw her and paused.

“I regret the outcome was not as you wished,” T’Pol greeted Kov.

“It was foolish of him to think he could return to P’Jem,” Saco stated. His concern for his son was not lessened by Kov’s release and the subsequent inquiry. Saco feared this was just the beginning of trouble.

“Where will you go?” T’Pol asked the two men.

“There is a Vulcan colony where I have colleagues who will help us. I know you want to return to Earth, Kov, if you can’t go to P’Jem; but the colony is a reasonable alternative for the immediate future.”

Kov looked at his father, understanding that the older man wanted to protect him from harm or judgment. For now Kov would accept this decision, but he knew he would be preparing his father to accept that Kov needed to go to P’Jem, to learn from the monks about Surak. Turning towards T’Pol, Kov raised his hand, his fingers forming a “V” and said, “Live long and prosper.” T’Pol had never seen the gesture nor heard the aspiration expressed before, but she remembered her second foremother explaining the custom which had been lost in the past century.

She lifted her hand, formed the unfamiliar sign with her fingers, and responded, “Live long and prosper.”

“Think about what we discussed on the shuttle during our journey here,” Kov requested. “You don’t have to fear your nature, but if you ignore your nature, you will harm yourself.”

“I have already harmed myself,” T’Pol said almost wryly, lifting a Vulcan brow.

“No, you have discovered yourself,” Kov returned. “I have learned much about our culture by looking at it from the outside. My explorations have made me value our heritage. What we have now on Vulcan is not our total heritage. Although illogical, what we have now is based upon fear of corruption from the outside, not confidence that Surak’s teachings will keep us strong and honest.”

T’Pol was silent.

“When you meet with Trip, tell him I will see him before he leaves Vulcan. He has been important in my life and my decisions.” Kov and his father departed. T’Pol felt bereft at their leaving.

***

Trip glanced up and saw T’Pol walking towards them. Although her features appeared as expressionless as usual, he knew she was lost in thought.

He rose and pulled out a chair for her, his eyes worried and concerned. T’Pol sat, graceful as ever, and looked at Trip, seeing the strong, calm, impulsive, clever, witty man who was capable of jarring her out of her staid, predictable life. She had blamed him for the influences, both large and small, he had had on her life. Without him she would have married Koss and probably been a pillar of Vulcan society. She certainly never would have had a cavity in her tooth brought on by eating pecan pie. She would not have questioned Soval’s views about the Andorians nor Vulcan’s involvement on Paan Mokar. She would never have taken the Trellium D to explore her sexuality. But without him, she would have married Koss, would never have appreciated the experience of eating pure sugar, would have blamed Andorians for the difficulties over a Class D planet, and would never have known the sensation of sexual pleasure and intimacy. Politically, personally, culturally, she would have missed out on so much. Trip was both her bane and her deliverance. What would her life be without him? Old T’Pol had clearly cared for this man very much and had mourned his death for decades. Although T’Pol wished not to be fascinated by Commander Tucker, she was.

She looked at Phlox and Malcolm. “You both like to climb mountains,” she stated.

“Mountains?” Phlox asked.

“Yes, we do,” Malcolm agreed. “Which mountain did you have in mind?”

“Mount Seleya. It is a sacred spot, but you will both find much to discuss about its location and beauty.”

As intelligent as Phlox was, he sometimes could not take a hint. Malcolm dipped his head in acknowledgement that T’Pol wanted them gone and dragged Phlox away. Because he wasn’t too sure about climbing a mountain at dusk, with unknown wildlife rampant, Malcolm instead led Phlox to another café a few blocks away.

Trip watched the byplay, but remained silent. Perhaps T’Pol would at long last talk to him about what was going on.

After Malcolm and Phlox left, Trip and T’Pol sat quietly, looking at each other.

“Kov's kidnappers were not reprimanded, so he will not remain on Vulcan, nor will he return to Earth. His father will take him to a Vulcan colony. Kov will contact you prior to their departure,” T’Pol informed Trip.

“So they’re laying low,” Trip interpreted, “and Kov won’t get to go to P’Jem to study Surak as he wishes.”

“No,” T’Pol acknowledged.

Trip didn’t know what to say. Was Kov’s dream dead? What did T’Pol think about all that had happened? Again Vulcans had proved to be deceitful. Was she upset? Did she care? Of course she cares, Trip berated himself, but what can she do about any of this? Does she feel helpless? Does she want to do anything? Hell, she came all this way to find Kov with no motivation I can see. Why?

“Why was it so important to you to find Kov?” Trip finally asked.

T’Pol sat quietly, gazing out at the same landscape which had been so thoroughly deconstructed for its aesthetic and fortification properties just a short time before. She saw her home in all its complexities. She had affection for this place and her people, but she felt alienated by the dogmatic rhetoric which was used to keep the population in line.

“At first, I wanted to find Kov because you wanted to find him. I had…been indisposed…and came to the 602 Club only to discover you intended to go search for him.”

A waiter came to take T’Pol’s order. She requested chamomile tea and settled back in her chair. The tea arrived and she took a sip.

Trip watched her avoid the conversation. He realized he would never get her to open up to him, so he would take what she would offer. If she wanted to tell him what her motivations were, he would listen. If not, he would accept that was not part of what was between them, of how they would be. He had much to learn about Vulcans, this beautiful Vulcan in particular—but he knew from experience that although the desert looked hardy, it was delicate—one had to step lightly or it would be destroyed. For all their insistence on their independent invincibility, perhaps Vulcans needed tender care.

“I am content being a Vulcan. We have accomplishments which are admirable, even though we have our made errors. I aspire to be a model Vulcan, but have not been successful. Instead I have made mistakes which have been harmful to me and to my family. I work to be a logical, rational Vulcan, but find that goal not easily achieved.”

Trip waited to hear more, but the silence was oppressive.

“T’Pol, you are the most rational, thoughtful being I have ever met. What’s the problem?”

“Mr. Tucker, your perception of rational is not the benchmark for most Vulcans. To you a being who isn’t screaming from anguish is reasonable and logical.”

Trip became annoyed.

“Since most Vulcans are dead from the waist up, and from the waste down as well, I’m not really concerned with what is considered a benchmark for Vulcans.”

“There is no need to be unpleasant about my species.”

“What the hell were you being when you maligned my species for being illogical?”

“I wasn’t referring to your species, I was referring to you. You are unique. No Vulcan, who did not know you, would ever listen to you because you would be perceived as too emotional. I have judged you in the past according to standard Vulcan perceptions about humans. And you are very human. But you are not typical. I required you to be stereotypical so that I could classify you and categorize you. But you did not cooperate. When in the Expanse, I believed I could explore you without, I deduced, consequence to myself. That was a misperception on my part. There are always consequences to exploration; and by not facing that reality, I damaged myself.”

“What do you mean, you damaged yourself?”

“I harmed myself by my actions. How does not matter. What is of consequence is that I must recognize that if I wish to explore cultures outside Vulcan approved protocols, I must accept the consequences.”

“Are the consequences so bad?”

T’Pol looked at Trip, and at the vast landscape stretching out to the horizon.

“No, but that is not easy for a Vulcan to acknowledge. I have much to learn about my own culture and history. But I don’t want to negate the experiences I have had with humans…with you. By doing so, I harm myself.”

“So, you’re OK with our…friendship? Romantic liaison? Whatever?”

T’Pol was uneasy about the future of Vulcan society, and her own future. But over the past three years this human had come to represent so much about both his own species and hers. She might aim for a more logical reason for Vulcans and humans to make an alliance, but in the end the alliance had to be based upon the best of both their worlds. And the best of both was the meeting of emotion and logic. Perhaps Kov was right after all – she could only appreciate herself and her culture if she accepted that she was at her center an emotional being. And that she needed to control the emotion and not erase it.

“Yes, I’m OK,” T’Pol affirmed.

The End

****

AN: Thanks to evay who recommended “The IDIC Epidemic” by Jean Lorrah. evay specifically pointed out the parent/child Vulcan greeting of crossed hands and palms touching, which I included in this story. Because I don’t know why none of the Vulcans we have seen have given the standard Vulcan greeting, I decided it had fallen out of use and was largely forgotten.

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A handful of people have made comments

Beautifully written. Great story! Thanks.

Myst, this story was so much more than a mystery. You touched on so many issues. The inner struggle T'Pol is going through is paralleled by the Vulcan's intolerance to change. I'm probably not saying this correctly, but know this...great fic. Loved it.

I really enjoyed this story but hope you do not end it here as I would love to see Trip and Kov and eavesdrop on what they have to say to each other. After all, Trip came looking for his friend at the father's request, it seems incongruent to concentrate on T'Pol's perspective and leave Trip - and his friendship with Kov - well and truly on the sidelines. As if he is an unaffected observer or bystander. I also liked very much the insight into T'Pol's thoughts, how far Trip has come in knowing and appreciating T'Pol, and hope you do decide to write at least another chapter for Trip and Kov. Thanks for a great tale, Ali D :~)

This was wonderful, myst! I loved how you had both Trip and T'Pol accept the other, flaws and all. Your story also left their relationship open for further exploration, be it romantic or otherwise. Very nicely done! :-)

Apologies for leaving it so long before reading, but, from my pov, it was well worth the wait. I think this story typifies why I prefer fan-fic (or at least the written word) to TV - you get so much more depth to the characters and the alien cultures. A great job.