Fighting for Unison

Fighting For Unison

By Peter Simons

E-Mail: simons@cryp.to
Rating: PG13
Genre: Drama
Disclaimer: It all belongs to Paramount, no infringement intended.

Summary: Chief Engineer Charles Tucker and Science Officer T'Pol are bond-mates. They are the happiest couple in the Alpha Quadrant. For 24 hours. Then, they sit down and talk, in order to resolve some minor differences. Nothing to be concerned about. They'll live happily ever after, once they are through it.

********

Her mate slapped her in the face with such unexpected violence, that it spun T'Pol's head over her shoulder, sweeping the rest of her body along. She tumbled from the impact for a moment. The force had split her lip open and she tasted her own blood in her mouth. She was pleasantly surprised. She had thought, she would have to spend the rest of her days with this earth worm. But apparently, this wouldn't be as long as she had dreaded. Because she would kill him now. And then, this sad, sad mistake of hers would be rectified.

She spat her blood into Tucker's face, and then she charged him without further warning. She threw him on his back easily and fell on top of him, knocking the air out of his lungs. She punched him in the face with her fists, two, three times, and then she wrapped her hands around his throat and started to apply considerable pressure. She watched with interest how his expression changed as he suffocated. His eyes grew wider and wider in realization, but they never lost the boiling hate in them until his lids finally fell shut.

********

Trip was the happiest man in the Universe. Just yesterday, he and T'Pol had chosen to bond. And it was the best thing that had ever happened to him. She was the best thing that ever had happened to him. He couldn't even remember, what his life had been like without her in his mind. He only remembered: he had been incomplete. And now, he would never be incomplete again. He would never be alone again. He would never, ever, be without T'Pol again.

When they chose to bond, some Vulcan mojo had formed a telepathic link between their minds. Through this link, their minds were in constant contact, he was always aware of T'Pol. If she were in any kind of trouble, he would know. If there was anything she needed from him, he would know. He knew everything she knew. He would know when she wanted to be alone, he would know when she wanted company. When they made love, he knew where she desired him to touch her. No intimacy with another being could be anything like his intimacy with T'Pol.

They shared every memory they had -- and they would share any memory they would ever make. When they were near each other, they could even share their consciousness! He would know whatever she thought. He would feel every inch of her skin. He would see the world through her eyes, literally, but he would also understand how she perceived it. In these moments, there was no more difference between them, then they were one.

Of all the handsome Chief Engineers in the galaxy, he was the luckiest bastard of them all.

His relationships in the past had been ... unfulfilling. You could say, it was occupational hazard. How are you supposed to maintain a relationship, when you are never at home? When your home is a starship? And the other one just isn't there? Sure, you could write, call, meet as often as possible. But you didn't have to be Zefram Cochrane to figure out: sooner or later, the relationship would go bust. The problem could be summed up in a term as simple as lack of contact. And that was certainly no longer an issue. In the last 24 hours, he and T'Pol had had more contact than every other married couple had in a lifetime.

How many people existed, who could answer any question about their loved one? Really any question? Not trivia, like, what did you wear on your high-school prom. No, really deeply personal thoughts. Who would ever know, how he had felt, when he had received his first A-grade and had shown it to his farther? Who would ever know, how exactly his nightmares had been, after he had learned of the death of his sister? T'Pol knew.

And the most amazing thing was: She had chosen him! Could you believe that? Why would a woman like T'Pol choose a bonehead like him as her mate? She was:

1. A total knock-out.

2. Possibly by an order of magnitude smarter than he was.

3. A total knock-out.

4. Faithful, caring, witty, and literally wonderful.

5. A total knock-out.

There was no logical explanation for her choosing him. Which, according to logic, left only one other explanation: She loved him. And because of that, he was the happiest man in the Universe.

********

Subcommander T'Pol cherished her mate greatly. To be his chosen bond-mate was an honor. In his relationships with human females, the Commander had not exactly been forthcoming, when it came to committing himself. Yet, he had made a commitment to her, which by far exceeded any other commitment, he could possibly make to a human female.

His consciousness had been afraid and full of doubt. During the bonding, it had been very difficult for him, to open his mind to her. His mind had resisted giving up its individuality. But his emotions for her had been stronger -- and he had felt these emotions long before. He had given her his dedication, long before he knew she would appreciate his gift! It was an incredibly selfless gesture. Something uniquely human. And it moved her profoundly.

Of all the gifts he had given her, the emotion he called "love" was the most precious one. Humans would use the term in many different contexts. They would say, they loved a book, or, they loved their parents. Her bond-mate loved his family intensely, he loved being on the ENTERPRISE, he loved his friend Captain Archer. But when he said, he loved her, then the word had an entirely different meaning. The emotion he felt for her was unique. No-one else would ever be able to evoke this particular emotion in him. He felt it only for her.

He had given her more gifts: He had shown her ways of thinking she would never have imagined. In the human mind, logic and emotions coexisted. Humans combined them. When the Commander was solving an engineering problem, he didn't approach the problem methodically. He would just look at it and suddenly do the most unpredictable things! Because he "had a feeling". She had always assumed, he was just undisciplined. But now she knew, he really thought that way. And more often than not, his way of thinking discovered completely unexpected results. Results, she could have inferred logically as well -- but simply would have never thought of doing it.

What the Humans lacked in discipline, they made up for in passion. A Human, who passionately wanted to reach a goal, any goal, would go through all obstacles and all discomfort to reach it. He wouldn't even notice he was experiencing discomfort. He would work three days without sleep or food, and he wouldn't even notice. What Vulcan children had to consciously learn and exercise, Humans could do unconsciously without any effort at all. Their passion was the Vulcan's discipline.

But what the passion of Commander Tucker desired more than anything else, was she. And for that, T'Pol cherished her mate greatly.

********

Of course, being in permanent mental contact with T'Pol wasn't easy. There had always been a certain amount friction between them. They had always bantered and argued passionately. In fact, this was one of the reasons why he was so attracted to T'Pol. If she believed she was right, she would not give in, she would defend her position no matter what. You could not push her around in any way, she would stand her ground. He loved that about her.

He had assumed, the bantering would be a thing of the past once they were bonded. Because, if you knew everything the other knew, how could you disagree, right?

Wrong. Just because you have the same information, doesn't mean you'll draw the same conclusions! Her mind worked differently than his, it was a truly alien mind. They would look at the exact same sensor log, and he would see a possible malfunction in the reactor, while she insisted it had to be malfunction in the sensor that recorded the data. He would say, that this was very unlikely, and she would answer, it was the only logical conclusion. And then they would argue.

Which was great. You didn't have to have the same opinion on everything, just because you were married. The problem was, however, that they argued in their minds, non-stop, every single second since they had bonded. For 24 hours, their minds had argued and fought. And, to be perfectly honest, he was a bit tired of it. By now, he had a serious headache.

Why did she have to dig up every little decision he had ever made and question him about it? Why would she argue with him about things he had done 10 years ago?

And why did she have to second-guess him all the time? When he had finished a job or completed some calculation, he would lean back and enjoy the feeling of accomplishment for a second. And instantly, he felt her presence increase, her consciousness focused on him. But she would not focus on him, would she? No, she would check his results! And once she was done, she would go back to whatever she was doing. At first, he found it rather amusing. But it wasn't just at work: He couldn't even fetch himself something to eat without told that meat was bad, there was too much sugar in that pie, yadda-yadda-yadda. Why couldn't she leave him alone for just a second?

He sure wished, she would have as much enthusiasm for him as she did for science. It was beyond his comprehension how she was able to focus so completely. Her consciousness would be just gone when she worked. And he missed her immediately. They had been together for less than a day, surely she would realize he missed her presence? That he hungered for her attention? That he badly needed her affection?

So why didn't she give him any? All she cared for were his bloody results. He realized, of course, that emotions were nothing she knew how to deal with -- other than to suppress them. Of course, he couldn't expect her to be overly affectionate. It was against her nature. But the day had 86400 seconds -- every day --, so how terrible could it be to waste just one of them, to tell him, his absence made her a less efficient science officer? Or whatever a Vulcan would say when they mean I miss you? Even if she didn't experience the emotion as deeply as he did, shouldn't she know this was very important for him? Was it too much to ask for one little concession in her brick wall of control?

********

Regardless of how beneficial the Commanders intuitive thought processes were, there was one problem: She wouldn't understand them! She had studied every decision he had ever made. She had asked him countless questions about them -- but a great deal of his thoughts were beyond her grasp. It was like a splinter in her consciousness, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't reach it. It was disturbing.

Of course, it didn't help matters, that he constantly disrupted her thoughts with emotions. She understood, his invasive attention was a result of his deep emotions for her. He expressed his love for her in that way. At first, it was rather invigorating, she had to admit, but he had been expressing his love for her every single second since they had bonded! She knew he loved her, why was it necessary to express it over and over and over again? He was her bond-mate, surely he would realize she had no way of shielding against his emotions? He knew as well as she did, that his emotions were beyond her control, that they would destroy her control.

She would never ask him for anything unless she profoundly needed it, it was her privilege to be his chosen one. But he had to realize how vulnerable she had become when they bonded, how defenseless she was against his emotions. Was it too much too ask for, that he not took advantage of it for his own gratification?

And since she couldn't help noticing how he spent significant time in erotic day-dreams, there was one more thing she was utterly unable to understand: The female he fantasized about was not her!

********

"But the fact remains: I love her." Charles Tucker reminded himself, concerned about how dark his thoughts had become. He would do for her whatever she asked him to, and so would she for him. Because they were bond-mates.

T'Pol was the most reasonable person in the Universe and they had the most sophisticated high-capacity communications link that ever existed. They would discuss these matters, and it wouldn't be more than a memory a split second later.

********

Nonetheless, it was a matter of fact that this was all her fault. She had proven inadequate to appreciate her mate's mind so far, but he would never tire of teaching her, he would never be disappointed in her. And neither would she in him. Because they were bond-mates.

Commander Tucker would understand her distress once she explained it to him, he would always listen to reason. They would discuss these matters, then he would do something wildly unpredictable, and a split second later, it would be resolved.

********

Never before had a Vulcan entered the bond of mating with a Human. Never before had a passionate mind been bonded to a mind guided by logic. And even though the minds of T'Pol and Charles Tucker had merged, they were alien to each other. Their minds could not truly understand each other. And so they would have to battle until there was either one mind ... or none.

T'Pol attacked first.

********

"I cherish your greatly, Charles."

"I love you, T'Pol."

Trip hadn't needed a mental bond to see his mate was not herself. Various emotions were boiling inside of her and she could not control them fully. It showed in her face.

"We have a matter to discuss, which is rather fundamental and difficult to understand in all its implications, Charles."

"Yes, we have."

T'Pol hadn't needed a mental bond to see her mate was struggling to control his emotions. He was unusually quite ever since they had met in her quarters. He was guarded. He had never been guarded around her.

"Charles, I have great difficulties understanding the logic in many of your decisions. And this concerns me. It is my obligation to understand the mind of my bond-mate. I require your assistance."

"You would like to discuss some more of my decisions? Are there any left you haven't questioned yet?"

"I am not questioning them, Charles, I merely wish to understand them."

"Where is the difference?"

"The difference is in the intention."

"That's fine, T'Pol, but on my side of the fence it looks all the same. You have been trying to understand my decisions for the whole day now. Can't you give it a rest for a moment?"

The words hit T'Pol like a blow. It appeared, she had been terribly wrong.

"You don't wish to help me understand you?"

"That is not what I'm saying, T'Pol! All I'm saying is: If it means more justification of why I did not spend that particular night learning for my exams but instead chose to go to the pub ... then I'm a bit tired of it right now."

And that did it for T'Pol. She yelled the word at her mate: "TIRED?"

Tucker was startled by her acute reaction, but he was also unwilling to back down: "Yes, tired."

He could feel her pain instantly. He knew he had hurt her. Wasn't it ironic? She hid her love from him, but she willingly shared her pain.

"Have you no faith in me at all, Charles? Yesterday you chose to become my bond-mate and just 24 hours later, you are already TIRED of me? Isn't your commitment worth anything?"

"I'm sorry, T'Pol, but when I signed up for this, I didn't know you would be god-damn NAGGING ALL DAY!"

T'Pol reeled from the pain his words brought with them. Her mate regretted the bond! Had she lost his love in less than 24 hours? Had she been worthwhile to him for less than a single day? How was that possible? She just looked at him, unable to comprehend what had happened.

Trip instantly regretted the words he had spoken. The sorrow she felt had washed his anger away. All that was left was T'Pol standing in front of him, deeply hurt.

"Oh dear! -- T'Pol, I have no idea why I have said that. I am so sorry. I didn't mean any of ..."

But he couldn't finish the sentence because T'Pol felt his sorrow as well as her own, and as she did, she wanted nothing more than be close to him and flew into his arms.

********

They held each other for an eternity. For the first time in a day, they were truly close to each other and their minds rested. Finally, they parted and just stood there, looking at each other.

This time, Tucker attacked.

********

"T'Pol, I love with all of my heart, please believe me, I never wanted to hurt you. I am so sorry!"

"I must apologize, Charles. I have unsettled you because I was insensitive. That was not my intention."

"We must make sure this happens never again, T'Pol! You wanted to ask me something? I will listen now, I will understand. We will figure out what's wrong and fix it."

"It is my fault, Charles. I cannot follow your thoughts. I cannot understand your decisions."

"First of all, this is no-one's fault, T'Pol, and it's certainly not yours. I know I'm not always behaving logically, This is difficult to understand for you, I realize. Just give me an example. What can you not understand?"

T'Pol realized, she had brought great honor upon herself when she had chosen this human as her bond-mate. He cared for her the way she was, he had no intention on giving up on her. And the thought soothed her pain significantly.

"I cannot understand why you consume the flesh of animals, Charles."

Trip had to swallow his annoyance down. He reminded himself, that it was an honest question.

"My species has always eaten meat, T'Pol, we don't see any reason not to. Especially, since the meat we're talking about is actually re-sequenced protein, and not animal flesh."

"I know that, Charles, but just because Humans have always consumed flesh, it doesn't mean you have to continue to."

"Why shouldn't we?"

"Because consuming the flesh of animals appeals to your predatory instincts. Following your lesser instincts is not the path of logic, it leads into irrationality."

"But eating a steak every now and then won't make me irrational, will it?"

"You are irrational."

"Is that so?"

"A great number of your decisions are not based on logic."

"I see. Okay ... then I'll stop eating meat. I doubt it will make much of a difference in terms of my irrationality, but it's worth a shot."

"You would do this because I ask you to?"

"Of course I would."

"But that doesn't help me understand anything, Charles. This very decision is not based on logic. You would do so for emotional reasons, not because you logically understand it's the right path."

And this reply had Charles Tucker fuming again. It was amazing how T'Pol always found the right choice of words to get under his skin.

"Eating meat or not has nothing to do with logic, T'Pol. Logic doesn't have anything to say about what's right or wrong."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Logic doesn't say anything about arbitrary facts, T'Pol, it says something about the validity of inferences. What you mean to say is: If you want to suppress your emotions, then eating meat is bad. Since I don't want to suppress my emotions, however, your inference doesn't apply! So when you tell me not to eat meat, you are not being logical, T'Pol, but you are really forcing your system of cultural values onto me."

"You would like to lecture me on logic?"

"Apparently it's necessary. You Vulcans constantly fail to realize that your assumptions do not always apply! You permanently assume every other species has the same motivation you have. Newsflash: That is not true! Thus, you can infer jack squat by logic."

"Since your reasoning is apparently far superior to mine, Charles, would you care to enlighten me what inferences have lead to you being responsible for the death of the Vissian cogenitor?"

The blow had hit him very hard. T'Pol was instantly aware of oceans of grief and sadness. "Good." she thought with satisfaction. If reminding him of his past failures helped calm his temper, then it was the logical choice. She spoke with significant volume now.

"We are wasting time discussing abstract problems, Charles. Let us focus on the one at hand: You are invading my consciousness and bombard me with your primal instincts. To use your colorful term: It doesn't mean jack squat what your motivations are. It just has to stop."

Trip had not had the privilege of being taught how to suppress his emotions. But life had taught him something almost equally useful: Anger drowns out grief. He matched her voice level easily.

"Let me get this straight. I am invading your consciousness?"

"That is a fact."

"You are the one who dragged me into this bondage of yours, you are the one who is giving me headaches since the morning, you are the one who is invading my consciousness!"

"This statement proves only how incapable of rational thought you really are, Charles. I did not disturb your focus with emotions. I am capable of controlling myself. I am capable of seeing beyond my ape-like predecessors."

"I am well aware that you do not disturb my focus, T'Pol. You just come to check my computations and that is all you care about. You don't give a shit about how I feel, because you have evolved your emotions away to become the ultimate ice block! And the irony of it all is that you failed miserably, because you do have emotions, like it or not."

"But unlike some more primitive species I am not guided by emotions, Charles. You may not appreciate it, but at least it allows me to be faithful to my mate for 24 hours!"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Was he stupid? Was her mate stupid? Was he lying in the face of his bond-mate, knowing it couldn't accomplish anything?

"I know your day-dreams.

"So what?"

"SO WHAT? You fantasize about sexual intercourse with another female a day after we bonded and fail to notice how that might offend me?"

"What other female are you talking about? I should know what I fantasized about, T'Pol. And that was you."

"No, Charles." She spat his name out like the insect he was. "That female you fantasized about was nothing like me. She may have looked like me, but I certainly did not recognize myself."

He wouldn't believe his ears. Now a stupid day-dream equaled infidelity because they hadn't talked about science?

"Maybe that is because I don't know who you are, T'Pol? Maybe you should finally loosen up and let just a little bit of your precious illusion of control slip so that I can breathe for a change?"

"You know everything about me there is to know, Charles. It seems much more likely that you simply couldn't find any quality in me, you deemed worth fantasizing about -- except for my body. I will never be the person you obviously desire, because I am NOT human, and I refuse to turn into one!"

They both stared at each other in a dangerous mixture of anger and pain. When T'Pol spoke again, her voice was as cold as ice.

"I have come to the logical conclusion. I cannot exist if you keep disturbing me with your emotions. Therefore, you have to suppress your emotions. I will teach you."

Trip let out bitter laugh, while shaking his head in disbelieve.

"Let me ask you one more question, T'Pol: Since you apparently don't want to have anything to do with me, what did you bond me for?"

"There is no need to remind me of my mistake, Charles. Your mere presence in my mind is a constant reminder of the day I brought shame upon myself."

She had barely finished her words, when Trip slapped her in the face in an explosion of hatred. T'Pol tumbled for a moment, but quickly recovered and attacked. She knocked him off his feet easily, threw herself at him, and suffocated him with her bare hands.

The moment his lids fell shut, Charles Tucker opened his eyes.

********

The first thing he saw was T'Pol. She was sitting opposite of him, less than a meter away. Trip was disoriented and weak. As if he was draining. He was too weak to even move his head. All he could do was look at T'Pol. Then a sledgehammer hit him.

"In the name of the lord, WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?"

She was right, she had been right all the time! He was the problem, he would have to learn, he would have to adapt! T'Pol would never have been like that, weren't it for his emotions. He had found the most wonderful woman in the world, and now he had lost her because he was too stupid to see her for what she was!

He had lost T'Pol!

********

She idly contemplated whether she should snap his neck rather than suffocating him. There was no need to make him suffer unnecessarily. He was her bond-mate, after all. Before she could decide, a sledgehammer hit her.

"In the name of Surak, WHAT AM I DOING?!?"

If she killed him, she would die as well. Where was the logic in that?

He was right, he had been right all the time. She did have emotions because her bond-mate had them. They were one! And the emotions could not be suppressed because her bond-mate could not survive without them. All her assumptions had been wrong. All her reasoning had been flawed. Not her bond-mate would have to adapt -- she would have to!

He had given her the most wonderful gift and she had just flat out refused it!

And as she realized this, T'Pol opened her eyes.

********

For the last 4.3 minutes, the minds of Charles Tucker and T'Pol had raged in fury, causing their bodies to produce exceedingly large quantities of adrenaline. As their eyes met, all of it was released at once.

********

The moment his mate opened her eyes, a surge of electricity jolted through Trip's spine. With a sudden WHAM, the room began to pulsate. He watched the walls bend powerfully away from him ... WHAM, they snapped back, snapping his attention back to T'Pol.

The world pulsated around T'Pol. She was the center of his Universe. He was faintly aware of the sound his blood made as it rushed through his ears, and with another WHAM, he realized, it was his own heart beat! And it was hers as well!

WHAM!

Their hearts beat in perfect unison. They would do so for as long as they both lived.

He could feel her heart in her chest. He could feel her skin burn with heat. He could feel a drop of sweat forming on her chin, lingering there, before it finally gave in to gravity and fell. Trip watched it fall. He watched how the tiny drop's reflections twinkled on T'Pol's skin. For the longest time, the drop would fall ... just fall, until it finally landed on the inner side of T'Pol's right breast. The sensation was so intense, so wildly unexpected, that he moaned out loud in pleasure.

He desperately tried to regain his senses, deeply ashamed of himself: "Just a SECOND ago, you realized you need to stop behaving like an animal -- and just LOOK at you now!" He had honestly no idea whether it was even possible ... but he would learn to control his emotions. He would start right now!

********

When T'Pol saw her mate, time stood still. She just looked at him. Her focus was glued to him. Her gaze was drawn to his eyes, and for the longest time, she was lost in them. Then she smelt him, she heard him breathe, she felt his heart beat -- all at once! Her mind raced to take in every impression, it wanted more of him.

His blue eyes shone like the sun, they burnt her skin wherever he looked, and it was maddeningly painful. But the trail his eyes left behind hurt even more, because her skin cried out in despair after it had lost his attention. Already her body was covered in painful scorch marks, and they throbbed with need.

His gaze lingered on her chest and she thought she would die if it remained there for any moment longer! But then, a single drop of liquid hit her breast, right where he looked. The liquid soothed her burning skin as it sprang into a thousand smaller drops upon the impact. It was wonderful! She moaned out loud in pleasure.

But she had known nothing. The emotion resonated in her mate's mind with power, it grew in him like a spring tide and was magnified thousandfold before he hit her back with it. And it blasted her control into oblivion.

Deep within her, a terrible emotion had been awakened. It had lain dormant for all of her life and her species had suppressed it for more than 10,000 years, so afraid were they of it. It was passion. And it made her skin explode in flames.

She was burning alive! And only he knew how to soothe it! She saw his lips move as he spoke to her, but she was incapable of processing what he said. Unwilling to! She would NOT possibly TALK to him now!

So she shot him a look, which she knew would have the desired effect.

********

By god, he had tried to control his emotions, but it was hopeless. He had tried to explain, but she didn't even seem to hear a word of what he was saying. Then she had looked at him again, and all control was gone.

He had fantasized about her looking at him like that. And he remembered exactly what had happened next ...

********

Once their minds were united, their bodies viciously demanded their union as well. Another battle would be fought now, a battle for true unison.

Only this battle, they would continue to fight for all of their lives.

********

One week later ...

********

Trip loved being logical. What the Vulcans called control, he called focus. When they said, you had to control your emotions, they really meant to say: Focus on the problem. At the core of it, it was just a language problem that made the interactions between their species difficult. He didn't have any language problems anymore. He had chosen a Vulcan bond-mate.

During work, he would sometimes run into a problem. Some warp theory equation said that some sensor data should have been something different than it was. Then he knew he had an error in his assumptions. And he couldn't find it.

The problem would raise its ugly head and snarl at him, glare at him in defiance, refusing to explain itself. But he would just smile at it while evenly reaching for the LOGIC: ON switch. And then the problem would gulp down hard and realize: "Uh oh." For when he hit that switch, T'Pol's mind would say: "Is there anything I can help you with, Charles?" And then they would calmly and pleasantly tear the problem to shreds. "Eat THIS, quantum mathematics! Har. Har."

It was amazing. Work was pure fun when your mind could really focus. He was analyzing a system of warp field equations ever since the morning and he had progressed rapidly. For Charles Tucker III, this would have been two days worth of annoying math. But for T'Pol's bond-mate, it was a refreshingly curious exercise.

His consciousness was ripped out of its focus and back into the real world. With a sudden jolt Trip felt himself arrive in his body. He had forgotten any math he knew. Excitement washed over him: goose bumps, smells, sounds, light and dark -- wherever he looked, there was an abundance of sensory impressions. The air buzzed with electricity. His body straightened as he flexed his muscles. He was alive.

"T'Pol is near!"

********

It had been 6.25 hours since Subcommander T'Pol had last seen Chief Engineer Charles Tucker. "My chosen one." she thought with a barely tolerable amount of affection. There was a night-shift roster to complete and it wouldn't be completed by idle thought!

T'Pol appreciated being on her own. Finally, she had found the calm she needed to work efficiently. Since the morning, she had made considerable progress. Clearly, this was because the Commander would finally focus on something else but her. Without his permanent attention in her consciousness, she could finally control her emotions.

His mind was entirely focused, she could tell. But since her mate apparently didn't bother to share with her what he was doing, she had no idea what it was. 6.25 hours seemed like an awfully long time for him not to think of her. What was he doing? What could possibly keep Charles Tucker focused for over six hours? There was no way he could be on his own for six hours without getting himself into trouble.

Was it healthy for the Human not to focus on his bond-mate for so long? Why hadn't he sought for her long ago? Surely he had some business on the bridge? Perhaps she should go see him?

T'Pol stared at the night-shift roster furiously.

"Maybe he is in distress?" -- "No, you know he is happy."

"Another female?" -- "Be serious T'Pol, he wouldn't be focusing on a female with his intellect, would he?"

"I could step by on my way to the mess hall?" -- "Engineering is not on that way, T'Pol."

This could not be happening -- there had to be some reason to see her bond-mate! Hadn't there? Then she knew. It was perfectly obvious and purely logical.

"He will be pleased to see me."

And so she walked to the turbo lift and left the bridge.

********

When T'Pol entered the room, she commanded his attention instantly. She always did. He had looked at a particular spot on the door, waiting for her, and when the door had opened, this was the exact spot where her eyes had been. They wouldn't wait a single nanosecond longer than necessary to see each other. She was radiant. She walked up to him in slow, purposeful strides. She moved like a black panther, who had just found her prey in a blind alley and knew it couldn't escape. She had all the time in the world.

He felt her carotid artery pulsate on her delicate neck, just above the collar of her cat-suit. He felt how her movement stirred the air in the room and savored the smell of her it brought along. He knew why she had come to see him.

"Good afternoon, Subcommander. What brings you to engineering?"

"It was on the way."

"Where have you been?"

"On the bridge."

"And where are you heading?"

"To the mess hall."

"Then you're on the wrong deck, T'Pol."

"It was only a slight detour."

"So you have come to check my results?"

But she wouldn't play games. She calmly got closer and closer, invading his personal space while locking his eyes into hers with intensity. He wasn't even aware he had been falling back, step by step, until a science station brought his retreat to a sudden stop. T'Pol's face didn't show any expression at all as she continued to move in close. She locked him into place with her hips, pressing into him with force. Then she leaned in and brought her lips within only millimeters of his earlap. In an attempt to calm his breathing, he swallowed hard, but it wouldn't help. He just stood there, unable to move, unable to do anything.

She whispered the words softly into his ear: "Are you pleased to see me, Commander?"

Before he could say anything, she buried her fingernails in the flesh of his chest, eliciting a sharp gasp of pain from him. Then she whispered into his ear again.

"You better tell me exactly what I need to hear."

********

"What do you think, Rostov, will they do it?"

"Of course they will! They do it every time they see each other."

Ensign Kelly watched the proceedings for a moment longer, then asked under her breath: "Ever wondered what they get out of it?"

"I don't know. I doubt it will be much, though. She is Vulcan after all."

"I wouldn't be so sure. Why would they do it all the time, if it didn't mean anything?"

"Perhaps it's a friendship ritual? You know, the Vulcan version of a hand-shake?"

"Look! Look! Now they'll do it!"

********

"So you have come to check my results?"

T'Pol turned to look at the computer screen the Commander had been working on, and while she did, her left hand fell ever so coincidently in the vicinity of the Commanders right hand. Instantly, their fingertips found each other. For a split second, not longer, they seemed to be in a world of their own. But then, it was as if nothing had happened.

"As a matter of fact, I have."

"Great. I've just finished some research I'd like you to see. I haven't eaten yet ... so, why don't I accompany you to the mess hall?"

"Agreed, Commander."

********

"God, those two are sooo cute together!" Ensign Kelly sighed.

"They sure like each other, that much is obvious."

"Well, he sure likes her. Trip hasn't stop smiling ever since she entered the room. He behaves like her little puppy, if you ask me."

"Bullshit, he is just friendly to a senior officer. But she, I tell you, have you seen how she looks at him? The lady appreciates what she sees very much."

"Who blames her? Unlike some other guys, Trip is in pretty good shape, you know."

"Yeah, well, so is T'Pol. So what do we make out of all this? Is there more touching going on when nobody is around?"

"Can't imagine there would. Have you seen the research they have been doing lately?"

"Didn't understand a word."

"Exactly. With all that work they are doing, there really is no time for much else! The neuro-pressure sessions might as well be a front for them to do math together."

"Should at least turn her on."

"You don't think she could love him back?"

"In another world maybe."

THE END

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A whole mess of folks have made comments

This story kicks ass! Please continue!

Whoo! You had me scared for a minute, but this story rules!!!

You can say that again HopefulNebula!!!! I was shocked to read of Tucker hitting T'Pol!!!!! Almost stopped reading, I'm glad I kept reading because this story is really great! Thanks!

This is the greatest Trip/T'Pol bondmate fic I've ever read. I mean, it was just great. the first paragraphs scared the shit out of me, but, when it was in the story, I understood it. Thanks for writing something so unbeliably great.

I thought it was totally uncharacteristic of Trip to hit T'Pol. I can *never* imagine him doing so but like Triplover said, I'm glad I continued reading. I like the crew's commentary on their relationship. Heh heh, NP sessions a front for more maths. Bwahahahahaha.

Wow! Quite a story. The violence almost stopped me reading, but I'm glad I finished.

I'm just glad you made them realize they were both wrong. T'Pol told him she won't turn into Human but that's just what she wanted from him - to turn into Vulcan.
And there is a wonderful compromise - he doesn't burden her with his emotions every second and she doesn't try to rationalize everything in their life. As long as it makes him happy... it's logical.
There is place for focus and concentration but also for those little moments of passion, like touch of fingertips sending those electric jolts through their spines...

wow great story
this is one of the best story of Trip and T'Pol I have read I think. really love the story

I agree, the violence almost turned me off, but I'm soooooooo glad I kept reading! Good, both realized they were wrong. Both were being driven insane. Both got some low blows, and both are now happy-together. Great job w/ the give and take between these two. Fantastic story!

Oh, I'm w/ Triplover about Tirp hitting T'Pol. Don't care how mad he is. If he didn't hit Princess Kaitaama, he won't hit T'Pol. Not only that, Despite his ego, Trip's a gentlemen-they don't hit ladies.

I feel the same way about the hitting. I almost didn't post this because of the opening, but figured I'd let the readers decide for themselves.

Personally, I do not think even extreme frustration justifies striking another person. My sense of the way Trip Tucker is portrayed in the show suggests that the character would never strike T'Pol.

However, one of the things that's interesting about fanfiction is that it allows the writer to put an established character into a situation he/she would never encounter in the show.

Bucky

Reminds me of the Meatloaf song "Paradise by the dashboard light". "I'll love you 'till the end of time...now I'm praying for the end of time so I can end my time with you!" Great story.

You are one of the best new writers to join our hallowed legion!! You have such a wonderful and dynamic perspective on T/T'P, it is truly a joy to read. The fact that this story starts out with such violent currents was a definate risk, the reader is rewarded in the end with equally joyous unuion between our fav couple. I can't wait to read your next story. Welcome!!!

This is a very original take on the Trip and T'Pol dynamic though I did find some of the violence between them to be a bit disturbing. I am glad it all works out in the end but would hope they have learnt how to cherish each other in a less harmful and debilitating way. The idea of T'Pol striking Trip in the face and vice versa just felt very uncomfortable and not something you would automatically associate with a loving relationship. I liked the way you had each of them coming to their senses and blaming themselves. Hope T'Pol doesn't break any more of Trip's bones. Ali D

Phew ... once more I feel compelled to comment on my own story. Weird. I seem to have a gift for striking a nerve concerning the topic of violence, and I honestly don't understand it at all.

I think we all agree that hitting other beings is BAD (and I personally don't care whether it's a man hitting a women, a man hitting a man, a women hitting a man, or whatever). But apparently it has not become clear in the text that nobody was actually hit here. The whole scene takes place in their MINDS, the fight is a metaphor for the struggle of their minds for unison. Their minds argue and fight to overcome their differences because these two are ALIEN to each other, and I have tried to translate this science fiction concept into terms we humans can understand. It is not meant to be taken literally. It it's certainly not how I think their relationship would be like. In fact, I thought that the entire second half of the text describes how their relationship _is_ like.

Anyway, now that I am at it, I might as well use the opportunity to say »thank you« to everybody who has taken the time to give feedback! I really _do_ appreciate it.

I like it. I really do. :)

Wow, I just have to agree with exaclty what everyone else said. Very smart and interesting story. The part about him fantasizing about some woman that was not her?--But then it was her in body but not personality? Very interesting twist. This is what science fiction is supposed to be--makes you think.