False Starts- Ch. 5

False Starts and New Beginnings

By Plumtuckered

Rating: R, Romance, Drama
Disclaimer in Chapter 1

Chapter Five

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Two weeks later, Ensign Hoshi Sato sat quietly at her communications station, forwarding the latest mail transmissions to the appropriate recipients. She smiled as she sent a letter from her parents to her quarters. Reliable as usual, she thought happily. In the one and a half years she'd been away, her parents had never failed to send her greetings in every transmission. Some letters were long and others were short but they always touched her heart. She finished sending the last encrypted file then turned in her chair to survey the bridge. Travis was busy at the helm running a diagnostic on the navigation system but he looked up and grinned at her. Hoshi then turned further to see Sub-Commander T'Pol studying her monitor intently. She had sensed things had cooled between the Vulcan science officer and Commander Tucker but she had no idea what effect it had on the other woman. She was as unreadable as ever. The ensign wondered how she did it. How she managed to keep such tight control over her emotions.

"Ensign, did you need something?"

Hoshi's eyes widened, finally realizing she had been staring. "No, Sub- Commander. I'm sorry," she stammered, turning back to her station.

The turbolift door opened and Hoshi quickly turned her head to see Commander Tucker enter the bridge. She thought he'd been looking tired lately but today he looked exceptionally so. He moved silently to his engineering station and leaned over it, his hands quickly flying over the various buttons. From the corner of her eye, Hoshi could see the sub- commander tracking his every move. The engineer then moved to the tactical station and again, quickly ran his fingers over the keys. The blue light thrown off the monitor seemed to highlight the dark circles under his eyes. He mumbled something to himself quietly then stood straight, running his hand through his hair.

"Is there a problem, Commander?" asked T'Pol.

"Not anymore," replied the engineer. He looked over at the Vulcan and smiled. Hoshi wondered what had happened between them. They still seemed civil to each other, even friendly and the spark was definitely still there, but the sub-commander had stayed consistently on the bridge during her shifts instead of working in engineering with Commander Tucker like she had in the recent past.

The appearance of Captain Archer from his ready room caused Hoshi to drop her line of thought and return her focus to her station.

"Hey, Trip!"

"Cap'n."

"I was just heading to engineering to get you. You want to grab some lunch?"

"Sounds good."

Hoshi watched the two friends cross the bridge to the turbolift. The captain no longer limped, his leg completely healed and the commander no longer favored his cracked ribs. Dr. Phlox had given both men clean bills of health. Hoshi privately wondered how long it would be before one or both of the men needed the doctor again. As tired as Commander Tucker was looking, she hoped it wouldn't be too soon.

"T'Pol? Would you like to join us?" asked the captain.

"No thank you, Captain. My lunch break is not for another fifty-seven minutes. I will remain on the bridge."

Hoshi heard the 'lift door close and then quiet descended upon the bridge again.

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"You're still having nightmares, aren't you?"

Trip looked up from his soup and sandwich. Jon thought he looked almost like he had light-colored bruises under his eyes. He nodded a bit reluctantly.

"Have you seen Dr. Phlox?"

"He'll just give me some drugs, Cap'n. He can't stop the dreams."

"True, but at least you'll be able to sleep through the night."

Trip just nodded again then looked down and stirred his soup with his spoon.

"Trip."

"Okay, Cap'n. I'll go see the doc."

"Good," Jon smiled then picked up his sandwich. "Are the dreams still about Talazor?" he asked as he took a big bite.

"Yep." Trip continued to idly stir his soup. "They're weird, kind of like I'm the spectator and the participant. I watch the doctors perform their tests on me, control me, but I can feel the pain, the anger, everything. Last night, T'Pol was there. They tortured her."

"T'Pol?" Jon swallowed his food hard.

Trip nodded. "I watched her die," he said simply without lifting his eyes but Jon saw him shiver.

The captain put his sandwich on his plate, watching his friend's tired face. "Trip, exactly how much sleep ARE you getting?"

"I don't know, Cap'n. Maybe a couple hours."

"Come on," Jon said, standing.

Trip looked up at him in confusion. "We're not finished eating yet."

"You're not eating anyway, Trip. And I have something more important to do." Jon reached down and grabbed his friend's elbow and pulled him to his feet. "I'm taking you to see Dr. Phlox."

Trip planted his feet in protest but Jon gave him a stern look. After a moment, Jon followed his engineer out the door. They made their way to sickbay where they found Dr. Phlox perched on a stool at his counter, staring intently at a monitor. The Denobulan turned at the sound of their entrance.

"Ah, Captain, Commander," he greeted cheerfully. He scowled when he looked at Trip. "Is there something I can do for you?"

Jon waited for Trip to respond. When he didn't, the captain gave his friend another stern look.

"I'm not sleeping too well, Doc."

Phlox motioned toward the examination bed that stood near the center of the room. He grabbed a scanner from the counter. "Lets take a look at you, shall we?"

Trip sat on the edge of the bed looking anything but patient as he nervously fidgeted. Jon moved to stand next to him and watched the doctor as he ran his scanner over his friend.

"Hold still, Commander. This won't take but a minute," admonished the physician. "Hmmmm. There are signs of a minor chemical imbalance. Probably a residual effect from the implant I removed."

"He's having a lot of nightmares. Pretty intense ones, from what he describes," Jon chimed in. He received a dirty look from Trip.

"Can you describe your dreams?"

Trip proceeded to tell the doctor what he'd told Jon earlier. The doctor frowned slightly and looked at the results of his scan again.

"It is common for one to experience nightmares after a traumatic event, Commander. But I'm going to analyze these results a little further. I'll give you something to help you sleep tonight but I want you back here first thing in the morning. Is that clear, Commander?"

Trip hopped off the bed. "Thanks, Doc."

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T'Pol turned off the treadmill and stepped down. She grabbed her towel from the handrail and dabbed her face with it. She was grateful the gym was empty when she'd arrived forty minutes ago. It was very late so she knew it was highly probable there would be no one present. She moved away from the exercise machine and began some slow stretches. Her body still felt tight even after running so she held each stretch a few seconds longer than normal. She let her thoughts wander to Commander Tucker. He had been looking exceptionally tired in recent days and T'Pol's concern for him was unsettling. She had thought over the last two weeks about offering to teach him meditation techniques, but being in close proximity to him had become difficult for her. She had also considered tendering her resignation as first officer. But the thought of never seeing Commander Tucker again quickly erased that consideration.

T'Pol left the gym and headed to her quarters. She paused briefly outside the commander's quarters, tempted to check in on him but her Vulcan sensibility won out and she continued to her door.

The next morning, she entered sickbay to get her monthly injection for the Pa'nar. As soon as the doors opened, she heard Commander Tucker's distinctive voice. She wondered at her reaction at just the mere sound of his soft southern drawl. He was sitting on a biobed looking anything but pleased. She paused, waiting for the engineer or Dr. Phlox to acknowledge her.

"Sub-Commander, I'll be right with you," said the physician as he hovered over his reluctant patient.

Commander Tucker slid off the bed to his feet. "I slept well last night, Doc. I don't need you poking and prodding me anymore."

"Commander," Dr. Phlox sighed in exasperation.

"You said yourself the chemical imbalance is minor and isn't anything that should be causing my dreams. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get to work."

"Alright, alright. But I would strongly recommend you find someone to talk to. And please stop by after your shift this evening so I can run another scan. I'd like to keep an eye on you. Will you do that for me?"

"Sure, Doc," replied the engineer with a smile. He passed T'Pol on his way out the doors.

"Morning, T'Pol," he said softly. Her heartbeat increased slightly as his arm brushed hers. She stood still as she heard the doors slide closed.

"Sub-Commander?"

T'Pol looked up at the doctor who was smiling knowingly at her. She walked over and sat on the bed just vacated by the commander. Her nose could still detect his lingering presence and she inhaled, enjoying his uniqueness. As she sat waiting for Dr. Phlox to load his hypospray, she silently admonished her continuing illogical reactions to a man with whom she had no future.

"Here we are," said Phlox. He pressed the device against her neck and she felt a slight pinch.

"Thank you, Doctor."

"How are you feeling, Sub-Commander?"

"I am well," T'Pol answered. She slipped off the bed, intending to make her exit. She paused and turned back to the Denobulan. "Is Commander Tucker ill?"

"Ah, that is between me and my patient," replied Phlox with a smile. He tilted his head to the side and looked at her strangely. "How are you two getting along?"

"That is between me and the commander."

Phlox chuckled at having his words turned back at him. "I have some free time and if I'm not mistaken, you're not due on the bridge for another fifteen minutes."

T'Pol simply arched an eyebrow in response.

"It may help to talk, Sub-Commander," urged the doctor.

"There is nothing to say, Doctor. Commander Tucker and I are shipmates, perhaps friends."

"But things were going so well!"

"He is.." T'Pol started. She looked at the physician; realizing perhaps the suggestion to speak to him was indeed beneficial. She had no doubt he was trustworthy.

"Yes?"

"Ambassador V'Lar discovered my---affection---for the commander. She warned me against pursuing it."

"But why? She seems fairly open-minded."

"She is indeed, far more than I realized. It seems she once was in a similar situation. The High Command discovered the relationship and the ambassador was taken to P'Jem where she underwent a memory-purging ritual. The emotional memories she held for her mate were strong and when they resurfaced several years later, she discovered her human mate had been killed in an accident."

"An accident the ambassador believes was intentional?"

T'Pol nodded.

"And she fears for the commander," said Phlox with a nod of understanding. "Does Commander Tucker know?"

"I saw no logical reason to tell him."

"Do you truly believe the High Command capable of murder, Sub-Commander?"

"I am not willing to risk Mr. Tucker's life to find out, Doctor," T'Pol responded evenly.

The doctor paused, digesting the information. "Perhaps in the commander's eyes, you're worth the risk."

T'Pol didn't respond.

"Sub-Commander, your circumstances are different from those of the ambassador. And you're on Enterprise with a crew that has accepted you as one of their own. I don't believe the High Command would resort to murder to keep a Human/Vulcan relationship from happening but even so, don't you think you'd be safe here?" Dr. Phlox took a step closer to the science officer. "We are two years into this mission and we've only had Ambassadors V'Lar and Soval on board. You already know where one stands on the issue. If the other visits again, you and the commander simply stay away from each other. He will never be the wiser."

"If harm ever came to Mr. Tucker because of my personal---needs, Doctor," T'Pol started.

"Just think about what I've said, please. I'd hate to see you give up something that could give you great joy, Sub-Commander."

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Trip entered the ready room to see the captain seated at his desk staring intently at his monitor. His friend looked up and smiled.

"Hey Trip."

"You wanted to see me, Cap'n?" The engineer perched on the arm of the sofa chair.

"How'd you sleep last night?"

"Okay." Trip could see the concern on his friend's face as he carefully scrutinized the engineer's appearance. Archer then turned his monitor so Trip could see the planet displayed.

"How'd you like to get off the ship?"

"Oh, I don't know, Cap'n. I've kind of sworn off away missions," Trip replied with a grin.

"Not much chance for you to get into trouble on this one. The planet is called Preegus Minor," the captain pointed at the screen. "The Preegusites have given us permission to do some research in a meadow just east of this mountain range. T'Pol says the planet is rich in plant and animal life unique to anything we've seen so far. I thought a couple teams could go down, take some readings, take a few pictures." Archer smiled knowingly at Trip. "I've already cleared it with Phlox."

"Pictures, huh?"

"So what do you say?"

Trip crossed his arms over his chest and nodded his head.

"Good!" said the captain. "You up for a little water polo tonight?"

"Sure. I need to check in with the doc first. Give me an hour?"

"I'll see you then."

The next morning the launch bay was alive with activity, crewmen busy loading equipment into both shuttle pods. Trip stood with Captain Archer above the hatch to Shuttle Pod One, surveying the bustling scene before him. He put his hand over his mouth as he yawned. He saw his friend look over at him.

"I stopped in sickbay this morning. Dr. Phlox said there was no indication of the chemical imbalance anymore."

"What about the nightmares?"

"Well, there's no medical miracle for treating those. He thinks they'll go away eventually. You know, as more time goes by. He told me I should talk about what happened on Talazor. Or at least what I remember,"

"I'm a good listener, Trip," Archer said.

"Thanks. Maybe I'll take you up on that."

T'Pol, Travis, and Malcolm approached them and Trip grinned at the sight of the science officer. She glanced at him, a look of anticipation in her dark eyes. Travis all but ran down the ramp and entered the pod, taking the pilot's seat. He was smiling from ear to ear. Trip was always pleased when the exuberant ensign was able to leave the ship.

"Malcolm, you're in command," said Archer, patting the lieutenant on the arm. "We'll only be gone for the day and we'll check in every hour."

"Aye, Captain. Enjoy your visit, sir."

Archer and T'Pol headed down the ramp.

"Try to stay out of trouble, Commander," whispered Malcolm. Trip threw his friend a dirty look then followed the other two into the pod. He waved at the lieutenant then pulled the hatch door closed.

Trip settled into the seat to Travis' right. He glanced back to see T'Pol seated on the backbench. She was looking over the storage cases making sure they were secure.

"We good to go, Sub-Commander?" he asked. The science officer looked up at him and nodded her head once. They're eyes locked and Trip felt his pulse rate increase. The captain cleared his throat and both officers looked at him.

"Take us out when you're ready, Travis," Archer said. He looked across at Trip, a hint of a smile on his lips.

Thirty minutes later, Trip stepped out of the pod into long, dark red grass. A slight breeze ruffled through his hair, bringing with it the sweet smell from the vast assortment of bright colored wildflowers scattered through the grass. He stood gaping, taking in the deep red of the meadow and the lighter red of the trees that lined it. Only the sky of brilliant blue reminded him of Earth.

"This is amazing!" gasped the captain who stood beside Trip. They both turned to watch a small animal scramble through the grass. Trip thought it looked like a rabbit but with the tail of a feline. This was definitely the most alien world he'd ever seen.

"Captain, there is a small body of water at the base of that hill. With your permission, I'd like to run some scans of the water's composition and observe any insect and animal life that live within it," said T'Pol as she joined the two officers. She motioned toward the northern end of the meadow with her scanner. "I suggest Commander Tucker join me."

Trip looked at her in surprise but then he smiled broadly. Captain Archer looked first at T'Pol then to Trip.

"Be careful," he said. He cast one last look at Trip with a slight smile tugging at his mouth.

The two started walking toward the base of the northern hills. Trip eyed the distance and knew they'd only be barely in visual range of the rest of the team when they arrived at their destination. He glanced back to see the others busy in their various tasks. The captain was watching Trip and T'Pol walk away, but he quickly turned to the others when his eyes met Trip's.

"So what'd you need me for?" Trip asked, turning back to his companion.

"I was merely following protocol, Commander."

"Ah, right, protocol, safety in numbers. Gotcha," Trip replied, nodding his head.

T'Pol glanced up at him, one eyebrow quirked. He gave her a knowing grin and she looked away.

"You've missed me, haven't you?" he asked, nudging her with his arm.

The science officer didn't respond and Trip chuckled happily to himself.

As they walked, he looked around at all the different flowers that laced through the meadow. He occasionally saw other furry rabbit-like creatures skitter away from them as they moved through the long grass. He then caught sight of a large predator bird swooping down to pick one of the creatures up in its long, fierce looking talons. The little animal screeched in terror and the sound gave Trip the chills.

"If you wish it, Mr. Tucker, I can teach you some simple Vulcan calming techniques. They may settle your mind and help you to sleep," offered T'Pol.

"I'd like that," replied Trip. "I keep thinking these nightmares will go away. It's been nearly a month since Talazor."

"The trauma you experienced is still clearly affecting your subconscious mind."

"Will these calming techniques also help me to remember what happened?" asked the engineer, glancing down at T'Pol.

"Perhaps," she replied.

They reached the body of water and Trip noticed there was no creek feeding into it. It was no more than a large pond, the water's edge only accessible from the side on which the two of them stood. As blue as the sky was above him, Trip was surprised at how dark and ominous the water appeared. T'Pol knelt down, her scanner held out in front of her.

"Can you tell how deep it is?" asked Trip, peering over her shoulder.

"I cannot detect a bottom," T'Pol replied.

As the science officer continued her scans, Trip walked slowly along the water's edge. He pulled his camera out of his hip pocket and snapped a few pictures. He turned back a moment later when he heard the sound of a splash. T'Pol was gone, her scanner left sitting on the bank. Without a second thought, Trip dropped his camera and dove in. The water was freezing and the shock to his system was almost painful. He peered around but was unable to see anything through the darkness. He broke the surface, took a deep breath then dove again. He was just about to go up for another gulp of air when something grabbed his wrist. It pulled him deeper and at an inhuman speed. Trip struggled to free himself but to no avail. He felt a wave a panic as his lungs began burning for oxygen. He dropped his head, shoving his chin against his chest to avoid the hard rush of the water to his eyes. He couldn't see anything except blackness around him and he lost his sense of direction, his mind reeling with fear. Just as he thought he was going to pass out, he broke the surface. As he coughed and sputtered, he was pulled forcefully out of the water and dumped unceremoniously on a hard rocky ground. He climbed to all fours, spitting up water and gasping. He felt a hand on his back and he shifted away, still coughing.

"Commander?"

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