Fulfilled-Pt 11

Fulfilled

By Samantha Quinn

Rating: Back to PG-13 (I think).
Disclaimer: I don’t own Star Trek, any of its sequels or its prequel. Theoretically, I suppose I own Charlie, Maggie, and Koval. But neither they nor their parents are making me any money in this fic, so please don’t sue.

Chapter 11

Once More With Feeling

Archer’s POV

~~

They’ve been at it for three days. Three days of practically non-stop sex between the man I’ve always claimed as my best friend and my wife. I’ve looked forward to the half an hour each day that I’ve been able to escape the shuttle. For thirty minutes each day I’m not forced to hear the sound of Trip and T’Pol having sex not three feet away, or feel the occasional stray hand or foot, usually belonging to T’Pol. Those thirty minutes each day have been my sanctuary and I dread coming back to the shuttle. But unless I’d like to be eaten alive by the planet’s animals, I don’t have much of a choice. Though I’ll admit, that with each additional moan of want from T’Pol or sigh of happiness from Trip, that option looks better and better. You’d think they could be a little quieter.

That isn’t really fair to them, I suppose. This shuttle’s so small that the simple sound of their bodies grinding against each other seems louder than it would be otherwise. In short, I’d be doomed to be miserable, even if T’Pol didn’t have Trip up against the bulkhead.

It’s funny, in a cruelly ironic way. The past couple years, the sound of our bodies thrusting against each other has pretty much been the only sound present in our bedroom. I’m not saying T’Pol just lied there, because her body reciprocated. But her voice never did. I always chalked it up to the fact that she was Vulcan. But who knows? Maybe keeping quiet was the only way she could insure that she didn’t slip and call out for Trip instead. Because her voice is damn well responding to him.

I don’t mean to sound so bitter. I’m incredibly grateful that Trip is here. I’m thankful that he’s saving her life. But there are just two things that keep returning me to a slightly less appreciative state. First, there’s the tiny little fact that I’m her husband. Why doesn’t she want me to save her life? Why doesn’t she want my touch? She must have wanted it once. She did agree to marry me.

T’Pol is sick, though, so I could overlook the fact that she chose Trip. It would still hurt, but I could attribute her unfaithfulness to her condition and we could pull through with the hope of rebuilding our marriage still intact. Except for the fact that one little word keeps echoing inside my head.

Again. What did she mean by “again?”

I don’t have a date or a time to refer to for when the precursor to “again” happened.

Now, even when T’Pol and Trip take a break from their. . . activities, I can’t sleep. My mind keeps wondering how long they’ve kept such a secret from me. How long has T’Pol wanted to call him Trip? When did they love one another? When, how, or why did they stop? Was it because of me? Was I in the way? Was it before or after T’Pol and I became involved? Was it a mutual decision? Was someone left waiting? Who broke who’s heart? Has Trip been longing for T’Pol for as long as she’s apparently been longing for him?

So many questions, and no answers. It’s not for lack of trying. My mind’s replayed every moment Trip and T’Pol have spent together and none of them give me any clue to anything that they might have felt for one another. Their years on Enterprise were always characterized by fighting.
~~

“It’s not like I’ve spent the past twenty-five years fighting with her.”

~~
How long ago was it that Trip said that? Three days, I think. And come to think of it, he’s right. He and T’Pol have been extremely civil to one another during the course of our marriage.

*The entire course of my marriage.*

Has T’Pol wanted Trip for that entire time? Has she wanted him, more than she’s wanted me? When I reached for her, did she wish I were Trip instead?

I’d never thought that T’Pol could be unfaithful. When I announced my wedding to my aunt Melinda, the only good thing Mindy could think of to say was, “At least you’ll never have to worry about a Vulcan cheating on you.” I’d believed it, even if, unlike Mindy, I knew that Vulcans did have emotions. No one could have convinced me that T’Pol’s would have ever wanted someone other than me.

I wouldn’t believe it now, except for . . . “again.”

It comes to my attention that they’ve quieted down. I suppose they’re sleeping. It’s the only time they’re that quiet. While they sleep, I’ll continue to go crazy. As they rest in the comfort of each other’s arms, completely unaware of the heartache that will continue to keep me awake through most of the night, I’ll lie here and feel as worn as the weeks old uniform I wear. In a couple of hours, when T’Pol reaches for Trip *again,* and Trip whispers for her to be quiet, I will think how unnecessary it is because I won’t have been asleep anyway.

It’s amazing, really. Twenty-five years are completely destroyed in three days.

Damnit, T’Pol, if you didn’t want me, why didn’t you at least have the decency to tell me, instead of continuing to make me look like a fool?

And Trip, my *friend,* you may have “rejected” her, but why the hell didn’t you tell me that she wanted you in the first place? Didn’t I deserve at least that much?

It’s taken a lot of love on my part to continue in a marriage as difficult as the one T’Pol and I have had. There have been times that, frankly, I’ve wanted to walk right out the door. The silences combined with the pure agony of watching her career continue to sky rocked while mine seemed to reach a standstill haven’t made our union as easy as I had hoped.

But I stayed. Why? Because I love my wife, and because I made a promise that I would stay with her – ‘til death us do part. I stayed, and I tried to be a good husband. Even with Laura. . . I wanted her so much, I suppose partially because she was the complete opposite of T’Pol. She was wild when T’Pol was gentle, passionate when T’Pol was calm, and laughed when T’Pol would only arch an eyebrow. But I never cheated - not physically. Because I loved T’Pol, and because I loved Koval.

But I must have been blind, or a fool, or both. Because somewhere along the way, the wife I loved began to want my best friend. But *when* ?

It couldn’t have been on the ship, or while we were in the Expanse. Especially not while we were in the Expanse. Both Trip and T’Pol had their own problems in the Expanse, and besides T’Pol never hesitated to tell me how “disconcerting” she found Trip’s behavior in those days.

Yet, for every year that we’ve been married, they’ve been civil. When did it change? Moreover, why didn’t I notice? They were always right there, in front of me. How much of a blind fool could I have been not to have seen it when it happened? Unless it happened when I wasn’t around, which would have meant an away mission of some type.

~~

“How are you feeling, Trip?”

“Oh, it . . . wasn’t so bad.”

~~

That was the first conversation Trip and I had upon his and T’Pol’s arrival back to the Enterprise. I never thought anything about it, but . . .

~~

“Nah, that was different. I never hated T’Pol."

"I wasn't unhappy for ya I was just . . . worried . . . that ya were doin' the right thing."

~~

Worried that I wasn’t doing the right thing? Gee, could that have been because he knew T’Pol was in love with him? And apparently, that he was in love with her as well?

I wonder what happened in that prison. Was T’Pol sick, as she is now? Was he there for her, when I couldn’t have been? If I had been available, would things have been different? She thought – she *said* she cared for me before the capture. If she hadn’t have been captured, would she still have cared for me?

Then that just about says it all, doesn’t it? My entire marriage has been a scam. Even in those early years, when I was still so happy with T’Pol – they apparently meant nothing. I wonder how foolish I must have looked to both of them. Everything I might have tried to do to be a good husband didn’t really matter. There was never anything I could have done, really, since T’Pol wanted someone else.

Part of me is furious, and part of me is just heartbroken. I’ve devoted twenty-five years to that woman, and it’s all been for nothing. Hell, if it hadn’t been for Koval, my entire marriage would have been pointless.

I wonder what horrible thing I’ve done in my life to deserve losing my son and my marriage in the span of three weeks. If I live to one hundred and twelve, I’ll never be able to get the sounds of T’Pol and Trip’s moans or the sight of Koval struggling to remain alive out of my head.

At least Koval, unlike T’Pol, loved me in return, even if we did have our differences. So many times we fought over his choosing the Vulcan way over the human way. But in the end, he was so, so very human. So frail. Those blue eyes of his were full of –

Blue eyes. Trip’s eyes are blue. In fact, no one in my entire family has blue eyes.

But, no. It isn’t possible. Koval was my son. *Mine.* The eyes are a genetic fluke, that’s all.

~~

“I do not wish to attend the museum with you again this weekend, father.”

“Well, maybe you don’t deserve him.”

~~

It was Trip’s parting shot that made me give in, and I allowed Koval to go fishing with Trip and Charlie. It’s that same parting shot that is haunting me now. Did Trip have an alternative reason to think I didn’t “deserve” to have Koval as my son?

I turn and glance over at T’Pol and Trip for the first time since this agony began. T’Pol’s arms are draped across Trip’s chest and it’s all I can do not to reach across and shake them both awake. I need my questions answered and I can’t wait another three days.

“It’s a real selfless thing you’re doing, Jon.” I hadn’t realized Trip was still awake. I focus my glance on him. Even in the dark, the brightness of those blue eyes are clear for me to see. How could I have been such a fool?

“Selfless?”

“You must really love T’Pol to be willing to let me save her life like this.”

That’s what makes me stop. Because right now, saving T’Pol’s life is all that matters. Regardless of what may or may not have occurred with Trip . . . or Koval. . . I don’t want her to die. If the horrid suspicions I’m having about Koval are right, though, I’m not so sure I’ll be able to say the same thing about myself.

“Trip, I must have you. Again.”

As Trip and T’Pol renew their passion, I contemplate the very real possibility that I may face losing my son twice in the span of three weeks.

~~~

Chapter 12

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A whole mess of folks have made comments

Hmm, Archer figured all this out on his own?
Well, I guess the proof is moaning and groaning infront of him. :))

I was laughing all through this chapter. Partly because Archer has to hear Trip and T'Pol for three days having sex and partly because Archer just sitting there upset while thinking about Koval's blue eyes and T'Pol's lack of 'true' passion is more than just funny! :D

I love the fact that it has finally dawned on Archer that Koval isn't his son, but has it really sunk in yet? And what will happen when Trip and T'pol are questioned? After all, Vulcans never lie...

Brilliant Chapter!

I wasn't sure how you were going to run with this one but I salute you for keeping it subtle (if hilarious just for Archer's discomfort)

Actually, I feel kinda sorry for the Admiral...to realise that your whole marriage has been a lie and have to sit there while the woman you thought loved you is having sex with the man who was your best friend (not sure that they can still be best friends).

No I feel sorry for him, even if he has been an idiot for the past twenty-five years.

Well, I almost felt sorry for Archer. It really would suck to discover the last 25 years of your life don't mean what you thought they did.

But...well...it's Archer. All he had to do was open his eyes.

Sorry, I had to wait to comment here, instead of fanfic.net... This chapter is the best yet, Samantha!

After 25 years of self-absorption, Archer deserves to be locked in a shuttle as his "wife" and "best friend" rut-and-rut-and-rut-again, then begin to tenderly make love... talk about having to hit someone over the head before they open their eyes and see what's obvious... I re-read this chappy at least a dozen times, sadistically relishing Archer's discomfort and humiliation (sorry, I have permanent rights to the center cushion on the anti-A couch).

As usual, the writing is excellent, and the style is perfect to match the character POV... Archer wanting to shake them awake for answers is awesome! Just what are you going to say, you doof, to your poor, "sick" wife...

Wow! So, let the s**t hit the fan, becuase we're waiting, Sam! :)

Great story.

I don't know... Archer may be a jerk at times... he may not have deserved Koval... he DIDN'T deserve Koval but no one deserves to watch a person they love pushing them aside for another man.

No one deserves to feel that their life with someone is worthless. And just the fact that Archer has to hear and see some of it is kind of sad. He obviously loved both Koval and his wife.

He may have in my book been a jerk but he loved them and to see that they might have all just been lying to him can't be easy. I don't kow if Archer totally realizes that Koval isn't his son. It looks like he's in denial....

Okay Sam, so when ya gonna have T/T make a new Koval???? :D

I commented over at fanfic.net as well. This is one of the best chapters yet. I am a Trip/T'Poler, but I do NOT, nor ever had a HATE on for Archer. What happened in this chapter fits the characters as Samantha has portrayed them and it is that kind of consistency that makes this story resonate with powerful emotions and angst.

The primary feeling that this chapter creates in me is SYMPATHY for Archer. Even if he was "blind" for 25 years, he was NOT willfully blind. Call him a fool, but he was a loyal and committed one who put his love for T'Pol and Koval above everything else, including his career, which, despite his efforts continued to deteriorate. Even Archer does not deserve what has happened in this chapter.
The only 'mushroom' in this entire story (which includes the previous "Unfulfilled" story... has been Archer....i.e. he has been kept in the dark and fed BS. And yet there are those that will blame him for his predicament! I suppose he can be blamed for being an over-bearing parent on Koval.... but I would not fault him with much more than that. I know I am in the minority here, but whose to say our favorite couple always has to be morally perfect?
Overall, fantastic story and I can't wait for the explosive confrontation!

Archer deserves it, simply for making Koval cry, and never trying to understand the Vulcan culture. He's an ass. Then again, I don't understand how Trip could stand by and watch another man raise his son, and treat both Koval and T'pol so horribly.

Trip didn't want to hurt anybody. He seems to almost be a people pleaser. I wants to keep the friendship between him and Archer, he wants to be close to Koval and he wants to keep people happy.

For this there's more harm than good. Trip figured this out so when T'Pol asked for him he accepted... he made the mistake once to reject her... he wasn't about to do it again.

Archer may be an ass but the fact is whether he was a bad father or not he cared for Koval. Koval knew this and had a more balanced view of things. T'Pol used Archer... she shouldn't have married the guy if she was in love with or had ANY feelings for Trip because it just made things even worse.

Now everyones been paying for their mistakes. Archer lost a son he never had and now he's being told the truth... the HARD way! I feel sorry for everyone in this story.

I feel sorry for Trip for making such a huge mistake. I feel sorry for T'Pol for having to go through such pain when she was in love with a man who seemed to have rejected her and then watching your son who you love live life with a father who is being unkind.

I feel sorry for Archer for being so blind and being kept in the dark for so long only to have it blow up in his face. I feel sorry for Koval for having to pay such a huge price just so his parents could do things RIGHT for a change.

But most of all I feel sorry for Maggie and her unborn child for being pulled into a mess that has now torn a hole in her that could never truly be sealed. She's the one I truly feel sorry for. The only mistake she ever made was falling in love with a guy who's family made many mistakes. And that's not something she should have to pay for!

This was excellent but quite hard to read. I felt very sad for Archer because no matter the fool he has been it is as if a crash course in understanding has hit him on the head with 25 years worth of weight behind it and no one to help him through it but the love he still has for T'Pol and Koval. I would have liked to have seen some extended dialogue between Archer and Trip in the lucid moments between the love making sessions with some honest straight talking. Would love to see Archer finally come to realise that neither T'Pol nor Trip meant to hurt him, each doing what they thought was best at the time and breaking three hearts instead of one (four, if you count dear loyal Koval, who I still miss enormously). But the saddest thing is that with this act Koval gave his life for nothing. The secrets he hoped to keep (and thus save as many of those he loved from heartache) came out anyway. Weep, I could break my heart for him. Over and over again. - Ali D :~)

This was excellent but quite hard to read. I felt very sad for Archer because no matter the fool he has been it is as if a crash course in understanding has hit him on the head with 25 years worth of weight behind it and no one to help him through it but the love he still has for T'Pol and Koval. I would have liked to have seen some extended dialogue between Archer and Trip in the lucid moments between the love making sessions with some honest straight talking. Would love to see Archer finally come to realise that neither T'Pol nor Trip meant to hurt him, each doing what they thought was best at the time and breaking three hearts instead of one (four, if you count dear loyal Koval, who I still miss enormously). But the saddest thing is that with this act Koval gave his life for nothing. The secrets he hoped to keep (and thus save as many of those he loved from heartache) came out anyway. Weep, I could break my heart for him. Over and over again. - Ali D :~)

BTW, not sure that I have told you, this is REALLY awesome fanfiction! You're the best! ;)

GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT

(ya ever read somethin so good ya lose all the words in yer vocab but tha one that applies?)

Okay, it's later... where's the next chapter? I need fic... AGAIN! :)

And I'll ask again - if it is 25 years since TPol and Archer married, then Trip must be about 60 years old, not to mention Archer's age. What is this? Geriatrical love story? Well, Trip's certainly must be on healthy diet, I wish I had such... endurance ;-)

Sorry to be harsh, I know it's not possible to undo such detail now (after 11 chapters and n chapters of "Unfulfilled"), but you could take this into consideration while working on another story. Grandpas sex isn't really that sexy.

Oh, to add at least some sugar on top - this chapter is really well written and rather enjoyable. Archer's shock is shown perfectly.

But the age thing makes me classify this fic to "humor" genre. Sorry :P

Sigh. Marc, I already commented on "grandpa" sex in the previous chapter. If you can't understand that much, then it's doubtful you're understanding the story at all. Maybe you should just quit reading.

And, no, in the future, I won't consider "60" ancient with one foot in the grave in the 22nd century. FYI, however, people in their sixties have sex today. It happens. In the future, you may want to exit your own little shell before making comments.

Finally, this is not, and never was supposed to be "sexy." To have the story reduced to that is quite honestly offensive.

As to other comments, I hope to finish the next chappy later today. And Ali D., Trip and Archer will have their moment of . . .reckoning. I just didn't think T and A would chat in between bouts of sex with T'Pol.

Everyone else - some of you will be pleased by the resolution (s), some of you wont. However, I've tried to make it as realistic as possible.

"I just didn't think T and A would chat in between bouts of sex with T'Pol. "

LOL No, I don't think anyone was expecting that.
Well, maybe one person. That would have been, dare I say, tacky? Not that the T/T' shag fest, three feet infront of Archer isn't tacky, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do. He's saving her life!!! And as for geriatric love...people, they have been inlove with each other for 25+ years! It's not even about the sex. OMG, I'd settle for a happy little mind meld/ bonding ritual between T/T'. This love transends time and space...yadda yadda yadda. I'm loving the story! All the angst just makes it yummy. The lag time between updates is a bummer. I know, it's only been two days. Patience is for the dead! HA HA HA... *ahem* :)

Well, Samantha, if you consider making ANY comments other that "Oh my God I love This story!" disrespectful and completely out of the question, then so be it. Talking about "constructive criticism", huh?
If you consider my attitude narrow-minded, it's partly your fault. It's your story after all. It's your job to make it believable not mine to try to understand your reasons.
And yes, I think I do understand what this story is about. Of course in my own, special way, such as it should be for every one of us. I'd say it's about doubt. One of the feelings which in certain moments of our lives drives us into doing things we regret later. Maybe it's about hope, too. About the way it gives us strenght to go on, when everything seems bo be just wrong and wait for things to change.
I simply find it (in some parts), whether you like it or not, hardly believable. It's been 25 years for God's sake! And in one moment you make them do what they've been afraid to do for all those years? Make them leave paths the've chosen for themselves just like that? And make them engage not in one-time, life-saving act of love and compassion but in some kind of a 24/7 orgy with aah's and ooh's, limbs flying around and a spectator to add some spice. I'm sorry but that's just enough for me. And no matter what you think about life expectancy in XXII century, mature people (I think one could expect people in their sixties to be mature) just don't do such things. That's why I consider Archer's reaction very true and Trip's not at all. Period.
Stick to genre - if it's fluff, it's fluff, if it's angst - don't make a Fuck & Run from it.

Dear Marc,
As disturbing as it may sound to you, people in their sixties (and beyond) do engage in the wild thing, frequently. It's called 'Viagra'. Who knows what medical wonders will exist in the future. My point is, you are very ignorant, and should think before you comment. If you dislike the story so much, stop reading it! It's that simple. Why are you reading something you dislike? Stop being a Farktard, and dragging Sam down. Write your own fiction, if you think you know how it should be done!

Calm down people. Don't make me have to come back to the States to break this up. It's just a little fanfiction, nothing to have a heart attack over.

Dear PK,
As disturbing as it may sound to you, there was very little about sex I wrote in my previous comment. Seeing how difficult it is to make my point to some people I won't try again.

So called 'constructive criticism' isn't about dragging people down. It's about encouraging them to do better. And Sam certianly CAN do better, at least that's what I can say about her prevois story, which I enjoyed reading.

I've never said I completely disliked Sam's story. It just happened to become... awkward in last few chapters. That's what I wanted to point out, not to, as some would say, put a wet blanket over it.

About writing my own stories - I really don't think I could do it. I'm not a writer and I'm not scared to admit it. I'm an engineer. A good one. I won't be humble about that, I earned it. And I'm really gratious to all those people who told me what I was doing wrong in the past, so I could achieve what I have today. And to those who still do.

It's obvious that nothing can be achieved by fighting pointless battles about details. On my side it's a truce. If I happened to offend anyone - well, I'm truly sorry about that. It certainly wasn't my point.

And to Samantha - just keep writing.

I love this. It is great when a story invokes such debate. For what it's worth, if the average lifespan of a human in this story is 112, then being 60 would not be considered "geriatric" would it?? Heck, it is only middle age.... the equivalent of being between 35 and 40 now. I'm 35....and dare I say that I'm not geriatric!

Yeah. If I recall right, an admiral or someone in TNG mentioned the average lifespan being 130. He was like 115 and they have a late 60s guys playing him.

So, it's perfectly possible that Trip, at 60, isn't too far removed from a modern 40 year old man. He's just gotta make sure he keeps taking his vitamins.