To Have Learned Nothing At All-Chp 22

To Have Learned Nothing At All

By Samantha Quinn

Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: See Chapter One.

Chapter 22

Waking Up

++++++++++

Three Months Later. . .

++++++++++

One year. It was hard to believe a full year had passed since the Xindi attack on Earth. The pain still seemed too fresh and the memories too clear. On the other hand, so much had happened – both in the Expanse and on the way home – that a measly twelve months didn’t quite feel like an adequate amount of time to have elapsed.

Still, there was no way anyone could overlook the fact that a year had passed. The numerous memorials, services, parades, and speeches made that impossible. For Trip, the familiar pain of loosing Lizzie combined with the still fresh pain of loosing T’Pol was nearly too much to take. The last place he wanted to be was among crowds of other mourners. His misery didn’t love company. His misery wanted to be alone and free to grieve in private.

But, apparently, his parents’ misery did need company. Thus, for their sake, he went with them to the unveiling of the Xindi War Memorial in Miami before making the long trek back to his parent’s home for dinner. Numerous relatives joined them, some of whom had faces Trip was unable to connect to a name.

His mother had made the same deep fried catfish recipe that he had always cherished, along with Elizabeth’s beloved hominy and William’s adored blueberry cobbler, though neither sibling was present. Trip had always disliked both of the latter dishes – hominy lacked anything remotely resembling flavor, and the cobbler tasted like someone had mixed burnt toast in with the fruit. Today, however, he ate an extra large portion of hominy. Mid-chew, it occurred to Trip that T’Pol would probably enjoy the cardboard tasting vegetable.

But that hardly mattered now, did it? *I could send some cans to Vulcan in an unmarked package. T’Lal would probably make sure she received them.*

+++

“You are being truly noble, Commander Tucker. My daughter chose her mate wisely.”

+++

*Fuck nobility,* Trip thought irritably. Besides, Soval would probably intercept the present anyway.

The dinner passed by with similarly morose comments occupying his thoughts. Trying to be patient, Trip willed their guests to leave so that he could feel less guilty about returning to the lonely comfort of his San Francisco apartment. As his grandmother began to share the ever fascinating story of cousin Frank’s foray into knitting, however, Trip settled back and resigned himself to a long wait.

+++++++++++

“I hear you’ve talked to your brother,” Catherine Tucker noted lightly to her son shortly after the last guest had filed out the door. Trip noted thankfully that his Starfleet issued transport was due to arrive at any time, and he prayed silently that it wouldn’t be late.

The dull ache that had settled in that morning was quickly replaced by a sharp combination of pain and anger as Trip remembered his last conversation with his brother. “Yeah, I did. How did you hear that?” None of the news reports covering Enterprise’s “conflict” with the APA colony had gone into very much detail.

Catherine smiled tolerantly at her oldest child in the same fashion as she had done when he had erred in his childhood. “Your brother may not live on Earth anymore, but that doesn’t mean I’m not still his momma. I received a letter from him yesterday afternoon. It was quite. . . thorough.”

Trip frowned at the sound of “thorough,” but obligatorily followed the conversation to where he thought it was supposed to proceed to next. “Well, that’s good, Mom.”

“He says you were carrying on with some Vulcan woman. Is that true? I mean, Billy’s never lied outright to me before –“

*Oh, yes he has,* Trip thought bitterly.

“-but he has been known to tease from time to time,” Catherine finished. From the tone of her voice, she was clearly expecting Trip to assure her that that was the case this time too.

“He wasn’t this time,” Trip answered softly. *Where in the hell is my transport?**

Catherine looked momentarily disgusted and disappointed simultaneously. “Well, I suppose space travel can be. . . stressful. Particularly if you’re attempting to save Earth.”

Trip briefly wondered if that was supposed to make any sense. What the hell did it have to do with T’Pol?

“. . .So, it’s only natural you’d look for some type of comfort.”

The meaning hit him rather suddenly. Others would have felt outraged, perhaps, or heartbroken. Trip simply felt sick to his stomach. “T’Pol wasn’t merely . . . comfort. I love her.”

Catherine was silent for a moment. “I’m sorry, Trip,” she said finally. “I should have known you better than that. It must be awful, to love someone incapable of returning your affection.”

Trip gritted his teeth. “She does. . .did return the affection.” There were few things that Trip was still certain of, after three months of grieving. But the fact that T’Pol had loved him once was one of them. That fact remained a sweet, untouched memory that no one could take away from him – not even his mother.

“I’m sure you want to believe that, Trip. But if that’s true, then why isn’t she here with you?”

“She isn’t here because she’s sick.” The memories were suddenly too much for Trip to bear. Standing, he announced, “I’m going to wait for my transport outside. It was nice seeing you again.”

His mother’s platitudes followed him out the door. *Where the hell is that transport?* Trip continued to curse silently to himself until he reached the fence. A small wave of guilt washed over him as he realized that he hadn’t actually taken time to explain himself to his mother. Then, he reasoned, his relationship with T’Pol didn’t need explaining. After all, there wasn’t any relationship to defend. *Not anymore.*

“Trip.”

At the sound of his father’s voice, Trip again wondered where his transport was, but quietly forced himself to mumble, “I’m sorry for the way I behaved in the house.”

“No you aren’t,” Charles Tucker, Jr. answered. “But that’s okay.”

“It is?” Confused was to be expected. After all, Trip’s father may have always been the laid back kind, but he had also always been the kind that had insisted upon ample respect being paid to both of his parents. Trip was pretty sure that the outburst in the house moments earlier qualified as disrespectful.

“Neither your mother nor I know anything about this T’Pol. It’s not our place to judge.”

“Well, Mom didn’t exactly seem like she was very interested in knowing anything, outside of the fact that she’s a Vulcan.”

“I’m interested.”

For the first time in three months, Trip allowed himself a genuine smile. Of course, it was at that moment that his transport decided to show up. “It looks like I’ll have to tell you later, Dad.”

“I’ll look forward to it. Maybe we’ll get to meet her in person?”

The smile fell from Trip’s face. “I don’t think so, Dad.”

“She’s that sick?”

“Yeah.”

“It has something to do with the APA colony, doesn’t it?” At Trip’s nod, his father frowned and asked quietly, “Your brother didn’t have anything to do with it, did he?”

“No. He just belongs to the most xenophobic of them, that’s all.”

“Trip. . . you should know, when Billy left to join the APA colony, your mother wanted to go too. The only reason she didn’t is because I wouldn’t go. What I’m trying to say is that your mother still blames the Vulcans, and just about anyone else she can, for Lizzie’s death. I suspect your brother does too.”

“You don’t?”

“Life’s too short for us to waste it blaming others for the bad things in our lives. The only person I blame is the man who built the weapon.”

“He was a good guy. In the end, he helped save our planet.”

The elder Tucker looked momentarily confused. “Ah, I see. You’ll have to tell me that story some day as well.”

“I’ll come visit again, soon,” Trip promised as he hugged his father. Though he meant his words, he was nonetheless relieved to finally reach the shuttlepod waiting for him.

“You’re late.”

“Sorry. I had to transport someone else first. Have a good visit?”

Trip turned to glare at the pilot. “No, Cap’n, I did not.”

Archer gave him a sympathetic glance. “I suppose you want to go straight home then?”

“Yes. By the way, how was your vacation?”

Archer smiled, and Trip briefly hated him for it. “Oh, it was great. . um, it went pretty good.”

“I’m glad you and Rebecca had a nice time. Anything ship related happen that your chief engineer should know about?”

“As Becca would say, this is our vacation time. No ship talk for another thirteen hours.”

“So, who else did you transport?”

“Oh. . . another friend of mine.”

Trip shook his head, and marveled at the happiness that his friend had found. The dark and angry Captain that had taken over since they entered the Expanse was no where to be found. Apparently, getting laid had miraculous healing powers.
++++

“Do you want to come in?” Trip asked once they’d arrived back to his apartment.

“Nah. We’ve both. . .er, Rebecca’s waiting on me.”

Trip gave him a funny look and shrugged. “See ya tomorrow, then.”

“Yep. Enjoy your night!”

Trip gave a sigh of relief as the shuttle pod disappeared out of sight. He was finally alone. Nothing sounded better than curling up on his couch – alone – and drinking more than his fair share. Well, Trip could think of one thing that sounded better. But that was impossible, so he refused to dwell upon it.

As he walked up the sidewalk that led to the house he was renting, a lone figure came into view with a promise to interfere with his plans. Trip increased his pace, determined to let the visitor know that today was the least appropriate day of the year to try to sell something. When the visitor’s familiar pointed ears came into view, however, the anger left his body.

“Hello, Trip.”

Trip. Trip. She had called him Trip. Again! They were back to Trip. Unmitigated joy coursed through his body at that realization. But still speech remained elusive. Trip didn’t really want to talk anyway. He much preferred to stare at the greatness that stood before him.

She was even more beautiful than he remembered. Was that possible? It had to be, because it was true. Her hair was longer than it had been the last time he had seen her, but not quite long enough to be pulled back in a pony tail. Which was good, Trip decided, because the notion of T’Pol in a pony tail was ridiculous. She was far too regal for such a silly hair do. The white robes that hung loosely from her body stood in stark contrast to the tight uniform he was used to, but only accented the serene air that was T’Pol’s trademark. At least, it had been her trademark until those bastard colonists had taken it from her.

At the memory of the colonists, Trip anxiously looked for any sign of anxiety coming form T’Pol – any residual clue of the harm that had come from the people he hated most. Happily, he could see none. T’Pol stood a little straighter, but that was the only discernable difference Trip could see. Well, she looked. . . calmer.

“Trip? Are you well?”

“No,” he murmured softly. “The Captain has crashed the shuttle pod and I’m either dreaming or in heaven.”

At that comment, T’Pol raised an eyebrow – who knew how blissful one tiny gesture could be?- and calmly answered, “I do not believe that to be the case.” She stepped closer to him and appeared to survey him with the same careful scrutiny that he had used on her moments before. “You do not appear to be injured.”

“You’re here.” His hand reached out to seek confirmation of that belief, but he recoiled it sharply when he remembered who he was standing next to.

“You may initiate physical contact, if you wish,” T’Pol told him as she took another step closer. The action allowed Trip to feel the warmth of her Vulcan breath and he shivered slightly.

Then her words sunk in. “C-contact?”

“The Captain desired a hug,” she commented. “Though I told him it would be more appropriate if my first bodily contact on Earth was with you.”

The Captain? Somewhere in his confusion, it registered to Trip that T’Pol must have been the “other friend,” Archer had spoken of.

“T’Pol. . . are you okay? I mean, I couldn’t see you before you left, but everyone said you were so sick. . . "

“I was.”

“So. . . did the Kohlinar work?”

“Yes.”

“Um. . . then why are you here?”

His wonderfully familiar and stubborn T’Pol crossed her arms and took a step backwards. "Do you want me to leave?”

“No! Of course not. I just thought. . . T’Prena said that it was possible that you wouldn’t remember. . . that they’d purge your feelings for me.”

T’Pol uncrossed arms and clasped them behind her back. “The Kohlinar is a complicated procedure, and has many steps. I completed only the ones necessary to heal and return to Earth. They did not include the procedures necessary for a memory wipe. I have completed them previously, but I do not wish to have my memories taken from me again. The ramifications were. . .unfortunate.”

“I’m sorry,” Trip blurted immediately.

“There is no reason for you to be sorry. I. . I should have told you about that incident, and I did not.”

“T’Pol, you don’t have to –“

“I wish to,” she interrupted. “I believe we shall add it to our list?”

“Our list?” Trip repeated, still confused by the fact that his greatest wish had been granted.

“Along with snorkeling, and The Wizard of Oz.”

“Oh! Our list! Yes, we’ll add that. Oh, and hominy.”

“Hominy?”

“It’s a vegetable. I think you’ll like it. It’s kind of like what I imagine Vulcan corn would taste like.”

“Very well. I shall sample it. Why are you having difficulty unlocking the door to your residence?”

“Because I’m happy, T’Pol.”

The faintest ghost of a non-smile crossed T’Pol’s face as she answered. “As am I. However, I do believe I could be more successful in opening the door.”

+++++

Four Weeks Later. . . on APA I. . .

+++++

Constable Hogan enjoyed his job. There were those that would say he enjoyed it a little too much. But, Hogan would have replied, someone had to keep the peace, didn’t they?

He was taking especial pleasure in this day. Some poor sap had been tardy for work, and who didn’t love a good flogging?

In the midst of his enjoyment, Hogan caught sight of Billy Tucker on the edge of the crowd. When Tucker signaled to him, Hogan reluctantly handed the flogging duty over to his deputy. As much as Hogan may have been enjoying himself, Tucker’s standing in the colony was crucial.

Thus, Hogan met him back at security headquarters. “Well, what’s the news?”

Tucker sat down on the edge of his desk and shook his head. “It’s not good, Jack. You might want to sit down first.”

Hogan complied. Leaning back in his chair, he asked, “Does it have something to do with the T’Pol situation?”

“Yeah. Turns out your new method of punishment doesn’t work.”

“But I thought the Vulcan returned to her planet?”

“She came back.”

Hogan sighed. “Well, I guess it’s back to the drawing board.”

“Guess so.”

“Sorry about your brother.”

“He’s a fool, and apparently the disease has spread to my entire family. Do you know they actually had a vegetarian cook out? I mean, what the hell is the point?”

“So. . .I take it, the Vulcan didn’t develop a fondness for spare ribs while she was here?”

“No, I guess not.”

“That’s too bad. How’re your parents taking her?”

Billy shrugged. “Dad’s deluded himself into thinking the Vulcan can love Trip. And Mom’s still a little leery, but she wants Trip to be happy.” Billy laughed humorlessly. “But I’ll give the Vulcan credit for knowing the way into my brother’s heart. Apparently, she has learned how to make pecan pie.”

Hogan laughed in spite of himself. “That’s a sight I’d like to see. Well, I have to go figure up a new form of punishment. I’ll see you around, Billy.”

“See ya around, Jack.”

But Billy didn’t move for a while. He was too busy dwelling upon the letter that Trip had sent him. It was a voice letter, as they all were these days. In it, Trip had sounded so. . . happy, and Billy couldn’t understand Once upon a time, his brother had known better.

Eventually, Billy gave up this pursuit and decided that either his brother was a moron, or the Vulcan made really good pie. Whichever one it was, Billy wouldn’t hold it against his older brother. Maybe Mom was right, after all, and all that really mattered was that Trip was happy.

*And,* Billy thought remorsefully, *Trip is definitely happy.*

++++++

The End!

Return to Chapter 21

Back to Fan Fiction Main Menu

Have a comment to make about this story? Do so in the Trip Fan Fiction forum at the HoTBBS!

A whole mess of folks have made comments

Oh thank God. The angst was killing me, absolutely killing me. Wonderful story! I'm glad you finished it. :-)

Wonderful, Sam! Another fantastic story. Can't wait for more! ;-)

Good story, but those colonists deserved to pay for what they did to T'Pol.

:blissful sigh: I'm not going to have to lynch you, Sam.

Thank you for ending it so nicely, and simply...I don't think I could have handled a complicated explanation after all this angst.

A great story and I'm glad Billy has accepted that Trip is happy. Mwah!

Oh thank you! Nice ending!
I just hope those colonists has to face what they did!

T'Pol came back, T'Pol came back, T'Pol came back! Yippee! I've loved this story and I'm glad it ended so nicely.

YAY! Lovely ending; sad to see the story's done. I've always looked forward to updates for this one. Would've loved to read your version of Trip bringing T'Pol to meet his family. I'm such a sap for those kinds of fic. :)

She´s BACK!!! Thank you! But don´t you think we could need a, hmm, little epilogue?! ;-))) Bit tender or hot??

With all the angst you were giving us I was beginning to wonder if Trip and T'Pol would EVER get together!!!!! Glad to know she came back though I agree with Vaux, we need a little epilogue because I would LOVE to find out if T'Pol talks to Trip about what happened.

I mean she may have purged her emotions but that doesn't mean it's not still with her, she didn't get her memories wiped. And after that I would love to read something a bit tender... or hot!

But even if you don't add more this was a really great fic! Totally loved it!

I am so pleased that Trip's brother didn't find a way to completely screw up Trip's happiness with T'Pol. Hoo-flipping-ray! This was excellent, especially the stunned conversation that fell from Trip's lips when T'Pol was waiting for him. Ah, I just adore a good old fashioned happy ending. The ears, as ever, are a nice touch! Ali D :~)

YEAH!!!!

I have loved this story from the very beginning, and I think that happy endings are the best ones. *huggles*

~Rogue

Oh you are mean, I'm not sure I like you, that story was utter torture good but utter and complete tortur, I felt like crying at a lot of parts keep writing your story's are exceptional

As someone else said before, the angst was killing me! But I'm glad it all turned out good in the end.