Unfulfilled- Part Four

Unfulfilled

By Samantha Quinn

Rating: Angst, Drama
Disclaimer: Nothing’s changed. I still don’t own Star Trek or its characters and am still not making any money from this. Please don’t sue.

A/N: I decided to continue, since apparently a few of you are still reading the story. Not a lot, but a few. :) Koval will be up sooner or later, as soon as I determine how . . . “logical” I want him to be.

Part 4

Natalie’s Point of View

********

Later That Evening. . .

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

I desired Trip Tucker since the moment I first laid eyes upon him. Who wouldn’t? He’s an incredibly sexy man, incredibly loyal, and extremely dedicated. I wanted to be the focus of all three of those attributes.

For a while, I was. As my relationship with Trip progressed, I discovered life with him to be even more wonderful than I could ever have imagined. I grew ever more certain I wanted to be “Mrs. Tucker.” Again, who wouldn’t? I’d have a faithful and loving husband, who was handsome and well mannered in public while still maintaining a wildly passionate sex life. The only stumbling block seemed to be the fact that Trip so obviously wanted at least one child to carry on the Tucker name. I never really saw the use for children. Mostly, they tend to hold women back.

Maybe that’s why he left the first time.

I was absolutely livid when Trip told me he had been assigned to Enterprise. My mother has often wondered why I wasn’t more supportive. Even my dear friend Diana has chastised me for not being more sympathetic. But honestly, how else should I have responded? Part of the attraction to becoming “Mrs. Tucker” lay in the fact that Trip would no doubt make an excellent social match. The envious stares of the other socialites only added to what I knew were a list of wonderful reasons Trip would make a good husband for me.

How was he supposed to accompany me to my business functions when he was going to go play around on a ship for God knows how long?

It was completely unnecessary. There was simply no reason that Trip couldn’t be a Starfleet engineer and remain on Earth. He didn’t agree and chose to leave anyway. Regardless of what *I* wanted or how it would affect *us.*

So I dumped him.

I admit now that I had hopes at the time that it would bring him back. When it didn’t, I gave up hope of becoming “Mrs. Tucker.”

I dated a string of men – all very successful, very handsome, and gentlemanly enough to fit into my business lifestyle. None of them quite lived up to Trip’s qualities. It’s funny how sometimes you don’t realize how good someone is for you until you can’t have them anymore.

Then came the Xindi attack.

While in the end, I profited extremely from my actions during the attack, my motives weren't entirely pure. When I heard what section of Florida had been hit, I knew Trip would be hurt. I knew he’d need comfort. So I went looking for him as soon as Enterprise entered orbit.

I found him, alongside then-Lieutenant Reed, attempting to drown his sorrows in an old rundown bar that used to be one of Trip’s favorites. “It has flavor, Nat,” he was fond of telling me.

That night, I’m fairly certain he didn’t see any “flavor” to the place.

It took some doing to wrench him from the watchful eye of Reed. To this day, I’m relatively certain that the man dislikes me. Considering how often he and my husband keep in touch, I get pretty frequent reminders.

Between us, Trip and I finally convinced the lieutenant to leave us be. When we were alone, I encouraged Trip to confide in me, just as I knew he would need to do.

~~

“It’s gone, Nat. All of it. The house, the land . . . gone.”

“I know, Trip. I’ve been there.”

“Lizzy wasn’t old enough to go, Nat. She was barely done with her degree.”

“I remember going to her graduation.”

“She was so happy then. Hell, she was happy most of the time. She just loved livin’. And now she can’t anymore, ‘cause some damn aliens decided to attack us for no good reason.”

“I wish there was something I could say or do, Trip.”

“Just don’t leave, Nat. I don’t want to be alone.”

~~~

I stayed with him throughout the night and made certain he wasn’t alone. The next day, he left for Enterprise.

Nine months later, Charles Tucker IV was born. I gave him his father’s name because I knew that Trip wanted to continue the tradition. Mother thought it to be a bit presumptuous. “What if he finds someone before you see him again, Natalie?” she had questioned.

At the time, I thought her suggestion was ridiculous.

I felt extremely validated when Trip asked me to marry him right away. I agreed and we were married two months later. I was finally Mrs. Tucker. Trip accompanied me to dinner parties, took a steady job at Starfleet, and agreed to be Charlie’s primary caregiver. I had the life I always dreamed of.

It took me a while to get accustomed to his change in demeanor. The Trip I remembered had always been so carefree and fun. For a long time after the Enterprise returned, Trip was only fun when he was around Charlie or Koval. He was still Trip, but a far more serious version of Trip.

In truth, had I known how different he was, I’m not sure I would have married him at all. But I made a vow, and I aimed to keep it. Happily, after several months of therapy, some of the old Trip began to seep through. These days, he’s nearly one hundred percent his old self.

The reasons for the change can be attributed to a variety of factors, I suppose. A lot probably happened during the Xindi conflict that’s classified. Even the events that Trip could talk about in his book were enough to make any sane person go crazy. Dealing with that, along with getting readjusted to living on Earth had to be difficult.

Then, of course, there’s Ambassador T’Pol.

At first, I had no indication of Trip’s relationship with T’Pol. Hell, why would I have? She’s married to a man that Trip used to call his best friend (although they’re still close, I believe Commodore Reed has taken Jon’s place as closest confidante.) And she’s a Vulcan, for God’s sake. When he left, Trip held more against the Vulcans than anyone except Jonathan Archer.

My, how things change.

To his credit, my husband has never once called out anyone’s name but my own. He’s very much in control of himself when we make love. I suppose that has to do with how focused he is on attending to my pleasure. There hasn’t been one night that has passed where I haven’t felt the joy of sexual climax with my husband.

But he loses that control when he sleeps. While he sleeps, his unconscious expresses things it never could during his waking hours.

The first time her name escaped his lips, I questioned him about it. He assured me that it was only because of the experience in the Romulan prison. I believed him, until the next time it happened. The second time, I paid closer attention to the manner in which he called her name. It definitely wasn’t one of pain or fear.

It was one of want.

Charles Tucker III, who had left Earth hating Vulcans, was calling out for one.

I never once contemplated that Trip had been unfaithful. That’s not the kind of man Trip Tucker is. Instead, I chalked it up to unrequited love.

There are those in my situation who might have left. I briefly considered it, then just as quickly rejected the idea. I love Trip. I love our life together. I’m happy and Charlie is happy. Trip is a good husband. Is a bit of pride worth sacrificing a life and husband I love?

I don’t think it is.

Besides, the Vulcan is married to the Admiral, after all. As much as Trip may desire her, he’ll never be able to have her.

My staying isn’t entirely selfish, then, is it? If I left Trip, he’d be alone.

Besides, the Vulcan can’t love him the way I do. How can a species as cold and unemotional as hers know anything about what it’s like to love?

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

The object of my husband’s longing is standing beside me, helping wash the dishes from our dinner party. If I were an Ambassador of her importance, you can bet I’d never wash a single dish. But she insists on helping, and so I agree. Our husbands meanwhile have retired to the work room, where Trip is proudly showing Archer designs for the new warp six model. Our children have also disappeared together.

T’Pol and I work in veritable silence. There is, after all, very little for us to discuss. We have little in common; that which we do share we can never discuss.

The silence is broken by the sound of our children’s voices. They have wandered outside in the yard in front of the kitchen window. Apparently forgetting that we would need to clean, their conversation continues in earnest. Well, they are teenagers, after all.

“So, what’d ya want ta talk about, Koval?” my son inquires.

“I wished to discuss the subject of Maggie Reed with you,” Koval responds.

“I don’t want to talk about her.”

“I feel we must.”

“Why?”

“You desire her, as I do I.”

“Yeah, thanks for rubbin’ that in, Koval. Ya didn’t exactly have ta tell me. I pretty much figured that out on my own.”

“It is imperative that we discuss it. While we both desire her, we are also friends. I . . . cherish that relationship with you, Charlie.”

I sneak a glance at T’Pol, expecting her to chastise me for eaves dropping. Instead, I find her looking more green than normal and discover that she is listening even more intently than I am. While she listens, she has a far away look on her face. It’s one I recognize almost immediately. It’s identical to the one that Trip sometimes gets – one that says he’s thinking about something that he’d rather not be.

The exact same look.

How interesting. . .

“I ‘preciate ya too, Koval.”

“What is the magnitude of your feeling for Maggie?”

“Well, she’s cute and fun and really smart. I . . . I like her a lot, Koval. But you prob’ly like her more than me.”

“You have no basis for that opinion.”

“You’ve been awfully close to her, lately.”

There is a lull in the conversation until Koval finally decides to speak again. “I confided in my father this afternoon.”

“The Admiral? Really?”

“Yes. He was very helpful.”

“What did he say?”

“He gave me . . . somewhat contradictory advice that convinced me human sexuality and love is beyond my understanding.”

The Vulcan jerks out of her trance and walks quickly out the kitchen door. I had no idea Vulcans could move so fast. In mere seconds, she is standing in front of the boys.

“Mother.”

“Ambassador T’Pol.”

“Charlie. Koval. I could not help but over hear your conversation.”

Well, she could’ve, if she hadn’t been eaves dropping.

“Oh.”

“Um.”

“I have no doubt that your father was not helpful in such a situation, Koval. However, I shall give you advice which you may find much more so. If you truly are attracted to Miss Reed, you will allow the decision to be hers.”

“Of course, mother-“

“That would require you to cease talking about her as though she is a trophy to be obtained. If you continue on your current path, all three of you may find yourselves in decidedly unpleasant circumstances in the future.”

The implication of what she is saying is overwhelming. Well, I guess I was wrong. My husband’s feelings aren’t quite “unrequited” as they are . . . what? Unpermitted?

I wonder if the Admiral has any idea.

I doubt it.

Poor Trip. Poor T’Pol. I wonder which one of them realized their affections first? And which one of the poor creatures left realized what their duty to Archer would require them to do instead.

“That would be most logical,” Koval agrees outside.

“Makes sense,” Charlie adds.

Yes, it would, I suppose. It’s rather unfortunate for T’Pol and Trip that the boys’ fathers didn’t employ the same logic.

But I’m glad they didn’t. Because Trip and T’Pol’s misery is the reason for my happiness.

~~~

Continue to Part Five

Return to Part Three

Back to Fan Fiction Main Menu

Have a comment to make about this story? Do so in the Trip Fan Fiction forum at the HoTBBS!

A handful of people have made comments

Well,*I* for one have only recently discovered this site...and all the wonderful stories. And I am TOTALLY enjoying this one. I can't wait to see comes next. Please continue.

This is an interesting piee of introspection on Natalie's part that does not pull its' punches. I like it that she is honest enough to admit to herself why she stays, why she agreed to marry Trip and why she is happy to have gained from Trip and T'Pol's loss but there is also something achingly touching about the friendship between Charlie and Koval taking a path their parents were denied. Well done, and thanks. Ali D :~)

That is very touching. I feel so sorry for Trip and T'Pol. No matter how much I might pray for a happy ending, I don't know if it would make me feel any better. There's something so very... je ne sais quai in what Trip and T'Pol are going through. Oh, the joys of tragedy, lol.

I'm so glad you're continuing, and if you haven't counted me in as one of your devoted fan please add me to the few... I'm looking forward to the Koval's POV. I noticed he has been very Vulcan in his personality, will his human half reflect in his chapter?

Please continue. I have enjoyed reading this series.