The Rainbow- Pt 3

The Rainbow's Foot

By ShouldKnowBetter

Part Three

Rating: PG -13

********************

Rampant curiosity meant that Jonathan Archer accompanied his wife on her babysitting duties, joining T’Pol on a sofa while Hoshi took baby Henry into the guest bedroom to sleep. “You forgot to mention that you were staying here, T’Pol.”

She stared back at him, expression blank. “It did not seem relevant to our conversation.”

Archer pursed his lips. “I suppose you could say that. You’re looking well, T’Pol.” That brought another blank look and he decided not to pursue the fact that his former first officer looked a good deal healthier than the skeletal woman he had met four days before. “So this is your daughter?”

“Yes.” That was much safer ground. “This is T’Pril. T’Pril, this is Ambassador Archer.”

“Hey.”

T’Pol looked reprovingly at the little girl. “No, T’Pril. Please greet Ambassador Archer with respect.”

“Hey, Uncle Jon.” Charlie flopped down next to the man, having just returned from getting changed following an accident with his father and a glass of orange juice. “Beaten up any bad guys lately?”

Earth’s most distinguished ambassador grinned. “No, Charlie, I leave that to the younger generation. Yes, T’Pril?” She had tugged on his sleeve.

“Hey, Uncle Jon.” Archer cracked up, mostly at T’Pol’s expression of complete horror.

Tucker appeared at that moment and looked quizzically at his laughing friend. “What’s up?” He plucked T’Pril from T’Pol’s lap and set her down, holding out a hand to the woman. “You ready?”

“I am not going.”

“Excuse me?”

“T’Pril has clearly become uncontrollable. I must spend more time with her in disciplinary exercises.”

Tucker frowned down at the little girl who looked mildly back. “She’s OK.”

Charlie grinned. “T’Pril called Uncle Jon ‘Uncle Jon’.”

Tucker chuckled and caught T’Pol by one wrist, dragging her up and hugging her close. “He’s been called worse.”

“I cannot allow T’Pril to become accustomed to such informality.”

He caught her chin in one hand and kissed her mouth. “She’s a smart kid, she’ll soon learn the difference between friends and everyone else.”

“It should not be necessary for her to learn that.”

“Everyone has to learn that. C’mon, honey, let it go for tonight.” He grinned over at Hoshi who had finished putting her baby to bed. “Hoshi’ll cope. She’s a real strict babysitter.”

Trying not to look as if he was watching the exchange, Archer was surprised to see T’Pol sigh and nod acceptance. “Very well.”

She was given another hug then Tucker pinned his children with a glare. “You be good now. Don’t give Hoshi a hard time.”

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t worry, dad, we won’t wreck the place.” Charlie was clearly not worried about being left for the evening although Katie took a less sanguine view.

“You be good too, daddy. T’Pol, you won’t let him get drunk, will you?”

“I will endeavour to restrain him.” T’Pol had picked T’Pril up and was holding her rather tightly. She left the child in a crèche every day, of course, but that was with Vulcans, not humans. “T’Pril, you will not mind me leaving you here with Mrs Archer?” She had asked that before and as before the girl shook her head. “We will not be late.” She should not have said ‘we’.

Once again, Tucker plucked T’Pril away and set her down. “Let’s go.”

With the engineer and Vulcan out of the way, Hoshi turned a severe look on her husband. “Well?”

Archer shrugged. “How should I know?”

“Jon!”

He sighed and gave in as he always did. “I think Trip’s making a big mistake.”

“Why? T’Pol seems much more … human.”

“That’s what worries me. If you ask me …”

“I did!”

“She’s still in love with him and Trip’s just having fun.”

They were some distance from the house when Tucker glanced sideways at his companion. “Aren’t you going to ask where we’re going?”

“I assume that you would not tell me even if I asked.”

“You could try guessing.”

“Why should I? I will find out in due time.”

“You’re no fun.” T’Pol slanted a disbelieving look up at him and Tucker grinned back, holding out a hand, the smile widening as she slipped her own into his. “Sometimes you’re no fun.”

“Where are we going?”

“I’m not telling.”

“You are extremely aggravating.”

“Yeah, but you still like me.”

T’Pol took a moment to formulate her response. The pattern of the conversation was familiar from a dozen others over the time they had been lovers, but before he would have claimed that she loved him. She must not allow herself to forget that their current liaison was entirely casual, not intended to last beyond a few days. “So you claim.” It was the correct answer, the traditional continuation of the verbal teasing and made him laugh, his hand tightening on hers.

“Well, if you don’t like me, honey, you’ve been doing one hell of an acting job. Hey, run, we wanna catch that monorail.”

On reflection, T’Pol thought that perhaps she could have guessed where Tucker was taking her, but she had not believed that he would recall her preference for the human musical form known as jazz. His wide grin as he eased them into a pair of seats in a San Francisco bar proved beyond doubt that he had remembered, even if his words had not made it clear. “I hope your musical tastes haven’t changed.”

“I … do not know.” Listening to human music was something else she had not done since leaving Enterprise and that was foolish. This time she would ensure that she took some of her favourite recordings back with her – unless the memory of sitting with Tucker and allowing the music to exhilarate her would be too painful.

T’Pol would probably have listened to the music indefinitely if Tucker hadn’t been keeping an eye on the clock. It was near midnight before he reluctantly stretched out a hand to stroke her cheek, smiling at the uncharacteristically dreamy look in her eyes as she turned to him. “Sorry, honey, but we gotta go or the babysitters’ll get annoyed.”

She blinked, focussing again. “I am sorry.”

“For enjoying yourself?”

She hesitated. “Perhaps.”

He leant forward and kissed her softly and she allowed the caress even though there were other people close by. “I dunno know what you’re punishing yourself for, T’Pol, but you have gotta stop. C’mon, let’s go home.”

She followed him sadly out into the night. She did not think he would want to know that she was being punished for loving him.

By the time T’Pol finished meditating Tucker was already in bed although he was still awake, reading from a PADD that he tossed onto the floor when she slipped in beside him, reaching out to cuddle her close. She sighed with pleasure at the feel of bare flesh against hers, rubbing her cheek lightly against his chest. “You did not meditate?”

“Couldn’t concentrate.” There had been far too many emotion-laden questions rattling around his head. “Good thing we’re not still bonded or I’d be giving you a hell of a headache.”

Despite her recent meditation, it took T’Pol a long moment to control her reaction to that statement. If she had known how to recreate that inexplicable mental link between them, she would have done so and accepted the headaches along with the warmth and love and reassurance – except that Tucker no longer loved her so wanting the bond back was as illogical was wanting to live with him.

“Are you tired, honey?”

“No.” T’Pol pushed her regret firmly down and raised her head. “But it is late.”

“And tomorrow’s Saturday.” His hands ran suggestively down her back, provoking an appreciative shiver.

“Your meaning, commander?”

He grinned as the formal, disdainful question was mitigated by a warm fingers stroking his cheek. “I don’t have to go to work, the kids don’t have to go to school, so we don’t have to get up early.”

“I anticipate that T’Pril will awake at her normal time.”

“So?” He nuzzled her ear. “You don’t need much sleep.”

“What are you proposing?”

“Sex.” The hands were moving over her back again. “Nice, long, slow sex.”

Which was, of course, all he wanted from her. It was not enough but if his lovemaking were all she could have then she would accept that while it was available. It was so much better than being alone.

For the first time in a week T’Pol was grateful that she needed less sleep than Tucker. He was still oblivious when she slipped out of bed after only a few minutes fond observation although he did promptly roll onto the portion of the bed that she had been occupying, but he had threatened her with violence early that morning if she attempted to wake him for anything short of a major crisis, so she did not believe that he would object to being left to sleep. On Enterprise, he had always insisted on staying in bed as long as possible on their days off, the backstop usually being that unless he got up before 0900 chef would have cleared away breakfast; it had required some ingenuity to persuade him that he could wait until lunchtime for sustenance. This morning, however, T’Pol needed to meditate and to think and so she carried the meditation candle into the living room where she would not be distracted by watching Tucker sleep.

There was a transport for Vulcan leaving San Francisco spaceport at 1700 that day and she and T’Pril were supposed to be on it, but if there was one place T’Pol did not want to be at 1700 it was San Francisco spaceport. Tucker had not mentioned her leaving and surely he would if he wanted her gone. He knew the conference had finished and that that had been the ostensible reason for her presence on Earth. Had he just assumed that she would leave today? She did not want to, she wanted to stay. Just a few more days. Perhaps a week. Not as long as a month, certainly, although if he still hadn’t asked her to go … Just long enough to see if the bond would re-activate for him too – for that had been the incredible, soul-touching truth that she had realised last night as they mated. When they parted all those years before, she had been told that the inexplicable bond between them would simply dissolve with lack of use and she had never had reason to doubt the truth of that statement. Seeing Tucker again, even being intimate with him, had not resulted in any mental contact until the previous night when, as he had observed, he had not meditated and so would have been ‘louder’ to her if they had still been bonded. And she had heard him towards the end, by no means as clearly as she once had but there had definitely been the sensation of pleasure beyond her own.

For T’Pol, the realisation that she was still linked in some way to Tucker was the greatest relief of her life, excusing some of her behaviour over the intervening years. Vulcans could not be bonded to more than one individual at a time. Even to mate with someone when bonded to another was known to cause distress. She had married Stolas when still bonded to Tucker even if no one had been aware of the fact, and that had been part of the reason for the miserable failure of the marriage and her inability to rid herself of her affection for her human lover. The problem she now had was what to do with her new knowledge. The sensible option was to return to Vulcan and find a master who could probe more deeply into her mind, divine the nature of the bond and unravel it. What she wanted to do was stay on Earth and hope that further intimacy between herself and Tucker would reinstate the bond for him too. It had always been far weaker for him so it made sense that he would not yet be aware of it, but it must eventually awaken for him too. Surely if he knew that they were still bonded, he would let her remain with him? It could be that his own marriage had failed for the same reason, but would he then blame her? Insist that the bond be removed? She did not know.

Torn between hope and despair, T’Pol lit the candle. She would meditate on the matter. Speculation was futile. Logic must prevail - providing logic justified regaining the man she loved.

“Mama?” T’Pol opened her eyes to find that the sun had arisen while she was meditating and so had her daughter. “Good morning, mother.”

“Good morning, T’Pril.” She would let the childish ‘mama’ pass without comment since the girl had greeted her correctly immediately after. Indeed, T’Pril was the image of a well-behaved Vulcan child, kneeling respectfully before her mother clutching a book containing the simplified teaching of Surak, suitable for the young. The only discordant note were her pyjamas that were old ones of Katie, decorated with a poor facsimile of a bear known, for a reason T’Pol could not fathom, as Pooh. “Did you behave well last night, T’Pril, while Ambassador and Mrs Archer were here?”

“Yes. We played a game with dice.”

“That is good. It will teach you to appreciate probability theory.”

“Will you read to me, mother?”

“Of course I will read to you, T’Pril. Would you like a drink first?”

“I would like a banana.”

“I believe that you have eaten every banana in the house, T’Pril. We must ask Commander Tucker where we may acquire more.”

The girl cocked her head to one side. “Who, mother?”

T’Pol sighed; she had never actually introduced her daughter to Tucker. “The man whose house this is.”

“Daddy?”

It took T’Pol a moment to ensure that her voice would be steady. “That is not his name, T’Pril. It is an English word meaning ‘father’. He is Katie’s and Charlie’s father.”

“What should I call him?”

“You should call him Commander Tucker.”

“That is long.”

“Yes, but you are quite old enough now for courtesy. Come, T’Pril, we will get you some fruit juice and then we will read for a while.”

They read of Surak’s strictures on self-indulgence – T’Pol thought they might both benefit – and the associated parable and T’Pril paid attention, looking thoughtfully at her mother afterwards. “So I may not eat too many bananas?”

“That is certainly one example of self-indulgence, T’Pril,” as was her mother’s infatuation with a human.

“But if I cannot have a banana now because we have none, I could have two later?”

By which logic, T’Pol was entitled to twenty years in Tucker’s bed. “That is not quite what Surak intended, T’Pril.” She regarded the girl sadly, all too aware of how selfish she was being. “T’Pril, are you content in this house?” She got only a puzzled stare. T’Pril was too young for abstract concepts. T’Pol had not understood the differences between acceptance, contentment and happiness herself until she had grown to love a human. “Do you miss being on Vulcan? Do you miss your books and,” for a moment she could think of nothing else, “grandfather?”

“Will grandfather come to visit us here, mother?”

“He will not, T’Pril, but we will see him when we return to Vulcan in a few days … or perhaps a little longer,” and she hugged T’Pril tightly. For as long as Charles allowed her to stay.

“T’Pol?” Tucker appeared at the door, hair standing on end, a robe pulled ineffectively around him leaving most of his chest bare. “What …? Oh,” he had seen T’Pril and sighed, “duty calls, huh?” He pulled his robe straight and came over to sit beside T’Pol, kissing the mouth she offered and switched to Vulcan. “Good morning, T’Pril.”

“Good morning, Commander Tucker.”

“That is very formal, T’Pril.”

“Yes, because mother says I may not call you ‘daddy’.”

T’Pol went rigid with horror but Tucker only laughed, the arm he had flung around her shoulders tightening comfortingly. “She is correct, T’Pril. Your own father would not approve.”

Again T’Pril beat T’Pol to the answer. “I do not have a father.”

“Do you not?” but he was looking at T’Pol.

“No. Grandmother says it is because mother is a disgrace. What is a disgrace?”

“Nothing your mother is.” T’Pol could hear the anger in Tucker’s voice and feel it stirring in her head too – she was not imagining that the bond was reforming! – but did not dare look up to see if it was directed at her. “Fetch yourself a banana, T’Pril.”

T’Pol knew he was getting rid of the child and was about to ask a great many questions she did not want to answer. This time, however, her daughter rescued her. “I have eaten all the bananas. May we get more?”

“Yes. T’Pril, will …”

Charlie appeared down the stairs, yawning and coming to lean on his father. “What are we gonna do today?” There was a brief pause while Tucker controlled his temper. “Dad?”

“We have to do a few chores and go shopping.”

“Nothing else?”

“We can go play soccer in the park this afternoon if you want.”

“What about tomorrow?”

“I dunno. Ask Katie. It’s her turn to chose.”

“Dad?” Charlie sounded anxious and Tucker gave the boy a hug, calling on a few meditation techniques to push the irritation out of his voice.

“Sorry, Charlie, I’m not awake yet. Let me get some coffee, huh?”

Tucker caught T’Pol when she tried to slip away to get dressed, following her into the bedroom and closing the door firmly. She eyed it warily. “The children …”

“Will be fine for five minutes. Why didn’t you tell me you were divorced?”

“It did not seem relevant.”

“Bullshit! What was T’Pril saying about you being a disgrace?”

“Divorce is rare on Vulcan. It is not readily accepted.”

“Now why don’t I buy that one? T’Pril’s father won’t even acknowledge her?”

“No.”

“What happened, T’Pol?”

“It is none of your business.” She had turned away but he pulled her back.

“The hell it is! If I was responsible, I need to know.”

“When I married, I had not seen you for three years. How could you be responsible?” T’Pol was not sure why she was not taking the opportunity to explain. Perhaps she was scared of getting the wrong answer.

“Did he know you’d had a human lover?”

“Yes.”

“Daddy!”

Tucker swore. “This is useless. We are gonna talk about this, T’Pol. Tonight, once the kids are in bed.”

“There is no need.”

“Oh, yes, there is. I’ve given you a week, T’Pol. That’s long enough.”

She had to take a couple of breaths to control the pain. “I will leave at once."

“Excuse me?” He had been at the door but swung back.

“Daddy!”

He swore again and opened the door. “What?”

“Can I have more toast?”

“Yeah, just gimme a minute.” He crossed the intervening space to T’Pol in two strides, cupping her face in his hands and tipping it up for a long kiss, surprisingly free of passion. “I didn’t mean you had to go. I want to help you, honey. Trust me on this one, huh?” and he kissed her again. “Trust me,” he whispered when he freed her mouth and she nodded because she really could not bear to leave before she had to, even if it gave her only one more night. “Good girl,” and he kissed her a third time with a passion that left them breathless.

T’Pol stayed in that afternoon. The time she had spent with T’Pril that morning had demonstrated to her that Tucker’s children probably needed to have their father’s undivided attention for a while and it would do no harm for T’Pril to have her mother do the same. Tucker raised no objection so she deduced that he felt the same.

She was on the floor with T’Pril, practising balancing exercises, when the front door opened only an hour or so after the Tuckers had left. Surprised because Tucker had said they would be a couple of hours at least, T’Pol looked up to see a tall blonde woman enter, a travel bag in one hand. “Oh!” There was surprise in the exclamation as the newcomer caught sight of T’Pol. “Hi. Where’s Trip?”

T’Pol felt her stomach contract. “He has taken the children to the park.”

“Serves me right, I guess. I never got around to telling him I’d be back today. Have we met?”

“No.” T’Pol’s breathing was threatening to become erratic. “I am … a colleague.”

“Then I guess I don’t have to worry about what Trip’s been getting up to while I’ve been away.” She yawned, showing excellent white teeth. “I’m Janice, by the way.” She headed for the stairs. “Tell Trip I’m here when he gets in. I’m bushed; been in Europe all month.”

T’Pol watched the human woman climb the stairs, her mind descending into shock. This could not be happening. It was she who lived with Charles, not this female who so obviously matched the criteria she knew he favoured; except that she was deluding herself. She had known from the start that her time with Charles was limited but evidently she had ignored logic and let herself believe that she could stay indefinitely. Now she knew why they had always slept in the downstairs bedroom. Not to be out of earshot of the children while they made love but because the room she had thought of as Tucker’s was theirs, his and the other woman’s. T’Pol became aware that she was shaking; she had been such a complete and utter fool.

“Mother?” T’Pril’s high-pitched voice penetrated her mother’s painful thoughts. “Mother, look at me.”

“Very good, T’Pril.” She barely noticed the child’s improvement. “Now we must go.”

“Mother?”

“Come.” T’Pol snatched the girl up and headed towards the bedroom. She had to leave immediately, before Charles returned. She could not bear to face him. It would not be fair to face him with his lover in the house. She would leave as she should have done anyway. The transport to Vulcan left in less than two hours and she would be on it. The fact that she had cancelled their passage was irrelevant, there would still be space available. There was no reason for Charles to know that she had misinterpreted his hospitality. She would go back to Vulcan - and maybe one day she would stop hurting.

The departure lounge at San Francisco spaceport was busy although the dozen or so Vulcans waiting for their transport vessel had a clear space around them. Most of the hostility might have faded but in general humans were too much in awe to approach.

T’Pol joined the other Vulcans because that was where her body took her; her mind seemed incapable of decision-making. She hurt so much that she could not think, let alone cope with T’Pril’s increasingly shrill demands to be entertained. The girl’s education box was one of the things she had not packed, but it had been upstairs and T’Pol had not been able to bring herself to climb the stairs when the other woman was up there, in Tucker’s bed.

“Mother,” T’Pril’s voice was becoming louder, “I have nothing to do. Will you read to me?”

Blindly, T’Pol reached for her bag. She did not even know if she had packed the book of Surak’s teachings but it was there and under it was a blue tank top, standard Starfleet issue. She stared at it, feeling the emotions waiting to swamp her. It had been lying where she had neatly folded it after Charles had discarded it on the floor the previous day but that was no excuse for the fit of sentimentality that had led her to thrust it into the bag. The fact that she still loved him and probably always would could not be allowed to affect her actions any longer. Perhaps if she believed that he had deliberately misled her it would have helped destroy her affection, but she knew he had not meant to hurt her. If he had known that his lover was coming home, he would undoubtedly have ensured that T’Pol was gone before the other woman arrived without ever mentioning why she could not stay longer. It would not have been difficult, all he would have had to do was ask when she was returning to Vulcan and she would have left the next day regardless of the truth of the matter. It would have been bitterly painful to leave him again but it would have been … civilised. Not this brutal realisation that Charles had probably not enjoyed her company as much as she had believed, that he already had someone with whom to share his life.

“Mother!”

T’Pol handed the book over. “See how many words you can recognise, T’Pril.”
“I want you to read to me, mother.”

“I … cannot.” If she tried, she was afraid that she would lose the vestiges of control she had left.

“I wanna go home.”

T’Pol stared at her daughter in shock. That had been in English and had obviously been learnt from Charlie. “We are going home, T’Pril. We are returning to Vulcan. You must not speak English anymore.”

“I wanna go home. I wanna play with Katie and Charlie.”

“You cannot. We are returning to Vulcan.”

T’Pril deliberately let the book slide onto the floor. “No.”

“T’Pril, please …” She had no reserves left to deal with a tantrum.

“Child,” the voice was deep, cool and precise, “that is no way to treat a book.”

Desperate, T’Pol looked up to see an elderly Vulcan man standing before her daughter. “I will read to you if your mother is unable.” He raised an eyebrow at T’Pol. “If you permit, madam?”

“Yes.” She swallowed, wondering if all the waiting Vulcans thought her an unfit mother – as she probably was.

“I suggest that you meditate, madam. You appear … unsettled.”

T’Pol nodded, watching as the man drew T’Pril a little distance aside and opened the book, using a finger to point out the words as he read, clearly used to dealing with young children. She should meditate but it would not stop the pain; at best it would allow her to control it but she wasn’t sure that that would be enough. No one would ever believe that living with a volatile, emotional human actually made it easier to regulate her emotions but it did. She had felt calmer and more in control the last few days than at any time since T’Pril’s conception but that was gone now. Stiffly, T’Pol folded her legs under her, closing her eyes. She would try to meditate but she did not believe it would work; she was so tired, too tired to concentrate. If she could just sleep for a while, in the warm darkness where no one could disturb her …

“Madam!” The sharp voice penetrated the blackness surrounding her and she blinked sleepily at the other Vulcan, detecting disapproval. “Madam, are you ill?”

“No.” He gave her a doubtful look and returned his attention to T’Pril, leaving T’Pol to realise that she had lied. She had felt this terrible fatigue once before, just after she and Charles had become lovers when the fear of losing him had made her retreat into herself. That had been resolved when they became bonded but a cure this time seemed unlikely. Surely the responsibility of a mother towards her daughter would be enough to anchor her firmly to the present? Except she did not know how much longer T’Pen would allow her to retain T’Pril. The child needed stability and discipline, not a mother who could not control her own emotions. If T’Pril were to be taken away … then perhaps it would not matter greatly if T’Pol just went to sleep.

To one side, T’Pol heard T’Pril’s squeak of pleasure – yet another bad habit she had recently acquired – and the sound of small feet scampering away and forced herself to look; the responsibility was still currently hers. What she saw was the last thing she expected, as the slim, broad shouldered human swung her daughter up into his arms and hugged her as the child put an arm around his neck and began to chatter busily. Blue eyes met T’Pol’s across the intervening distance and she saw anger and very little else as he came slowly forward. He stopped close enough that she could feel the anger in her head too, and that at least woke her up.

“Weren’t you even gonna say goodbye?”

“I did not believe it to be necessary.”

“Why the hell not?” In the time he had spent searching for her, Tucker had worked himself into a furious temper. “Jeez, you didn’t even tell me you were due to leave!”

“I did not believe you would notice.”

“How the hell could I not notice you’d left?”

“You had other company.”

Tucker glared at her, almost incandescent with fury. “Janice is my cousin! She stays over when she’s in town. Hell, you really thought I’d do that to you? To her?”

T’Pol was losing the remnants of her control; Tucker’s anger had always done that to her. “Yes.”

“Well, I wouldn’t! I love you! I’ve always loved you! My wife left me because I still loved you! Oh, jeez, T’Pol, don’t cry.” Tucker closed the gap between them and pulled her to him with the arm that wasn’t holding T’Pril. T’Pol wrapped her arms around him, momentarily determined never to let go again. “Don’t cry, honey. Not until we get home, anyway.”

“I … still have feelings for you.”

“Very deep feelings?” He was laughing at her, and she could feel other emotions from him now, relief and happiness and the warmth that she had so missed all the years they had spent apart. “Yeah, I know that.”

“How could you?”

“Oh,” the laughter was audible now as he pressed against her, mouth close to her ear, “because of the way you look at me, the fact you let me take you to bed.” He tightened his grip. “The way you let me hold you when there are a dozen disapproving Vulcans looking on.”

T’Pol stiffened, raising her head from Tucker’s shoulder although she could not bring herself to release her grip as it seemed he could not either. She met T’Pril’s interested gaze first, then looked beyond to where every Vulcan in the departure lounge was indeed staring at them. It was the elderly man who had been reading to T’Pril who expressed the common view. “You shame yourself, madam. How dare you expose a child to this display of … sentimentality?”
T’Pol met the man’s eyes unflinchingly. “Even Surak did not deny that affection was a necessary commodity in raising a child.”

“Human affection?”

“He is my t’hy’la.”

“Vulcans do not take alien lovers.”

Tucker had been frowning at the man, chasing an illusive resemblance, and suddenly laughed. “Yes, they do.” He grinned mockingly at his old biology teacher. “Challenge your preconceptions, professor, before they challenge you.”

It wasn’t as simple as that and T’Pol gave Tucker credit for recognising the fact. When they arrived back at his house, Janice, Katie and Charlie were watching an entertainment channel and T’Pril ran across to join them while the human children looked up at their father with calm acceptance. It was only Janice who appeared sensitive to atmosphere. “Hey.” She sounded guilty. “Want me to leave?”

“S’OK.” Tucker had T’Pol’s hand firmly in his. “Just keep the kids busy for a while, huh?”

“Sure.”

She watched the man and woman climb the stairs together and sighed. Aunt Marjorie was not gonna be happy that her son had decided to return to his alien lover, but hopefully Trip would be.

Tucker closed his bedroom door and took T’Pol in his arms again. “If you ever run out on me like that again, I’ll break your neck.”

“She came upstairs.” T’Pol still sounded uncertain. “I thought she slept here with you.”

“Janice always sleeps in Katie’s room; Katie likes the company.” His voice hardened. “I can’t believe you thought I’d have made love you if I was in a relationship with someone else.”

“I believed that you just felt sorry for me.”

“I did but I love you too, and if there’d been anyone else I still wouldn’t have slept with you.” He rubbed his cheek against her hair. “We need to have that conversation, honey.”

T’Pol sighed. Reality was always painful and the last few hours had forced her to evaluate her wish to stay on Earth as the irrational desire it was. “It can make no difference. I cannot stay.”

“Like hell you can’t! We love each other. Are you saying that still counts for nothing? Or are you gonna deny how happy you’ve been living with me this week?”

“I cannot raise T’Pril on Earth.”

“I don’t think you can bring her up on Vulcan.” Tucker forced T’Pol’s head up to meet his eyes. “You weren’t doing too well without me, were you?”

“No.”

“Are we still bonded?”

The unexpected question shocked her. “Yes.” She raised a hand to his face. “I have started to hear your emotions again, but I did not think that you would yet be able to.”

“I can’t, not really. Maybe when we made love last night …” He broke off with a shrug. “It’s just felt so right being with you again.” Long, sensitive fingers caressed her cheek. “Why’d your husband divorce you, T’Pol?”

She closed her eyes. “When Stolas took me during his pon farr I called him Charles.”

“I can see how that would dent a guy’s ego.”

“I believed that I had ceased to care for you but it became clear that I had merely buried my feelings. They are … resilient.”

“I missed you like crazy.” Time for confessions on his side too. “I was an idiot to go back to Natalie but it was the easy thing to do, I guess.” He sighed. “By the time I worked out I’d made a mistake she was pregnant and it was too late. Maybe I shouldn’t have married her, but one of the reasons I gave you up was to have a family so I thought I’d better have one. Charlie was another mistake but I intended to stick it out and I didn’t think Natalie knew I regretted the marriage.” He gave a grunt of bitter laughter. “I guess I wasn’t as good an actor as I thought. She started trying to get me to return to active duty in space not long after Charlie was born and when I wouldn’t, she started sleeping around anyway. Things fell apart pretty quickly after that.” He cupped T’Pol’s face in both hands, holding her eyes. “T’Pol, darling, we have to stay together this time. We were wrong not to try harder before.”

“T’Pril will suffer if I remain here.”

“T’Pol, do you want us to live together?”

“Yes.”

“Then let’s start there and work out how we can make it happen.”

Tucker was in the downstairs bedroom with T’Pril, taking her through one of her concentration exercises, when the doorbell sounded. He didn’t react since it was important not to interrupt the lesson, knowing that Charlie would get the door. “No, T’Pril,” she had looked up at the noise, “we must concentrate.” The last few weeks had improved the Vulcan language skills of his side of the family. “We will start again.” He ignored the opening of the bedroom door and this time T’Pril did so too while she completed tracing the complex pattern on the screen of her education box. “That was very well done, T’Pril.” Finally he looked up to see Charlie’s frantic face. “What’s up?”

“Dad … we got a visitor.”

Wondering who could have sent his son into a panic, Tucker unfolded his legs and stood up, T’Pril trotting ahead to the door as she recognised that her lesson was over. She squeezed past Charlie and Tucker heard her squeak of delight. “Grandfather!”

Oh, shit. At least he managed not to say that aloud although he expected that his expression matched the boy’s. He took a deep breath and went into the living room, hearing Charlie retreat upstairs. T’Pril was perched on the lap of a middle aged Vulcan, chattering happily, her face bright. She stopped talking when Tucker appeared but only to perform the introductions. “Look, Uncle Charles, it is grandfather.” T’Pol had refused to allowed her daughter to call him Trip; he was almost resigned to the fact.

“Yes.” He stuck to Vulcan, just to show he could. “Welcome to Earth, Doctor Branek.”

T’Pol’s father rose to his feet, keeping hold of T’Pril. “Commander Tucker, I presume both you and my daughter realise that what you have done is unacceptable.”

“We’re not doing anything we haven’t done before.” Keep it cool, Trip. No good losing your temper.

“You did not openly profess your relationship as I understand you do now. There is not one of the Vulcan community on Earth who does not know that my daughter is living with you as your lover.”

“Haven’t they got anything better to do than gossip about us?”

“Evidently not.” T’Pol had learnt her dry humour from her father. “Where is T’Pol?”

“Mother has gone to buy bananas.” T’Pril was very pleased to see her grandfather but rather frustrated at being excluded from the conversation for the last few minutes. “Do you know bananas, grandfather? They are an Earth fruit and very nice, only I am not allowed to eat very many because Uncle Charles says that I will turn into a banana if I do. I do not think I would, grandfather, because I am a Vulcan, not a fruit, and mother says that Uncle Charles is often not logical. May I eat more bananas, grandfather?”

Tucker saw Branek’s mouth twitch. “You must abide by your mother’s decision, T’Pril, as a dutiful daughter should. Perhaps we will read what Surak tells us of self-indulgence.”

“Yes, he says it is bad. We often read that story, but ….”

“T’Pril,” Tucker said gently and she looked across at him, pouting a little.
“Yes, I will stop talking about bananas, Uncle Charles, but may I tell grandfather about the other things I have been learning.”

“Of course you may, T’Pril.” He caught Branek’s eye. “Shall I leave you together, sir?”

“I think not, commander. You seem to have some influence with the child and I may need you to divert her conversation again. T’Pril, you have not yet learned the value of silence.”

“No, I have not. At school, Madam M’Ven says I speak far too often. Here I do not talk as much because we do not always speak Vulcan but I am learning English and then I may talk too much here as well. I have already learnt much English, grandfather, and Uncle Charles is reading me stories about Pooh to teach me more.” She stopped only because she had run out of breath and Branek sank into a chair with the suspicion of a sigh.

“What is Pooh, T’Pril?”

“This is Pooh.” She tugged at her pyjamas; Tucker hadn’t got around to getting her dressed. “He is a bear,” she used the English word, “although I do not understand because we visited bears at a park and they did not look like this, nor did they speak.” There was a sound at the front of the house and T’Pril slid from Branek’s knee. “That is mother now.”

Tucker moved swiftly after her, hoping to give T’Pol some warning although his lover did not give him time to speak, having seen her pyjama clad child. “Charles, why have you not ensured that the children are dressed?”

“Mother …”

“T’Pol …”

“You have not even dressed yourself!”

“Mother, grandfather is here.”

Tucker saw T’Pol’s eyes dart from him to the child then back again and read the resolution before she stepped past him into the living room. “Father.”

“Daughter.”

T’Pril slipped back in. “Mother, did you acquire bananas? I believe grandfather would like to eat one.”

Watching from the doorway, Tucker definitely saw Branek’s lips twitch again although his voice was grave. “T’Pril, I believe that you should leave us for a short while. Can you entertain yourself?”

“Yes, I will play mathematics. I am now at level 3, grandfather, and last time I saw you I was at level 2.”

“You make progress, T’Pril, and I am pleased. Go now.”

“Yes, I will go, but later …”

“T’Pril.”

She glanced over at Tucker with a frown very like one of her mother’s. “Yes, I am going, but …”

“Scoot!”

She scooted past him and up the stairs leaving Katie behind to glare at the new Vulcan from the safety of her father’s side. “Have you come to take T’Pol and T’Pril away?”

“That is what we must discuss.”

Tucker’s hand closed firmly on his daughter’s shoulder. “We’ll sort something out, Katie. Go upstairs and keep an eye on the other two, huh?”

She scowled at him and then back at Branek. “Daddy’s happy with T’Pol here.”

“There are wider issues to be considered than personal happiness, child,” he said, perhaps for more than her benefit alone, and Tucker gave the girl a gentle shove.

“Please, Katie. We’ll talk later.”

She retreated after T’Pril and Tucker finally moved away from the door to join T’Pol, wishing that Branek had not caught him quite so unprepared. He had been enjoying a long lie in when T’Pol and Katie decided that they were going shopping and he had been evicted from his bed to look after Charlie and T’Pril. He was still wearing nothing more than a bathrobe, and he hadn’t shaved or even brushed his hair. The only positive point was that he had cleaned his teeth but Branek was unlikely to notice. T’Pol’s parents had not considered a Starfleet officer an acceptable partner for their daughter. What Branek would make of an aging slob who couldn’t even get a child out of her pyjamas by 10:45 on a Saturday morning didn’t bear thinking of.

Branek appeared to be ignoring his daughter’s lover, however, as he faced T’Pol, whose expression was calm, showing nothing but polite expectation. “You have had a long journey, father. Did mother accompany you?”

“T’Pen chose to remain on Vulcan but she made my duty clear to me.” Again that flash of wry humour. “Are you set on this course, T’Pol?”

“I am.”

“Then can you explain to me why you have chosen to disgrace yourself and your family? To cast off our traditions and your heritage?” He raised a hand to delay her answer. “Please try to be logical, T’Pol. I do not wish for sentiment.”
She paused, meeting his eyes for a long moment. “I have not rejected my heritage, father, nor would I ever do so. I follow the teachings of Surak as I have always done, as you taught me to do. As for my reasons for remaining here, it offers me the companionship I have been without for many years. Charles and I have always had many interests in common and sufficient tolerance to accept divergence where it occurs. We both have children whom we have been caring for alone; it is logical to share those duties. My research can continue unaffected; there are opportunities within Starfleet for that.”

“And T’Pril?”

“She will continue to attend the school at the Vulcan consulate and we will instruct her here.”

“She will grow up amongst humans, uncontrolled and irredeemable.”

“No, father, we will ensure that she receives the necessary discipline.”

“If you do not return with me to Vulcan, your mother has instructed me to bring T’Pril back without you.”

“I would lodge a protest with the ambassador to Earth.”

“She would overturn it. The child is obviously better served by living with her grandparents than with a mother who consorts with a human.”

“Mother,” T’Pol said softly, “has wished to take T’Pril from me for some time.”

“She has,” Branek confirmed calmly. “Your behaviour has concerned her.”

“You may tell her that her concern may cease. I am … better.”

“She is better.” Tucker decided that he had waited long enough and came to stand behind T’Pol, hands on her shoulders. “I’m not surprised T’Pen was concerned. T’Pol worried the hell out of me when she first came to see me. But she’s better now, because she’s with me. What would you prefer for your granddaughter, Dr Branek, a mother who’s so miserable she can’t control herself or one who’s calm and rational and happy?”

“I would prefer a daughter with a Vulcan husband.”

“But you can’t have that. I never set out to screw up T’Pol’s life but I did and I’m sorry about that, but it’s done now and we have to make the best of it – and that means us living together.”

“This was not the outcome I anticipated when I instructed you to come to Earth, daughter.”

“Nor I, father, but I am pleased with this solution.” She crossed to the computer terminal to collect a data recorder. “We have a proposal for you.”

Branek took the recorder, watching as T’Pol returned to Tucker’s side, letting him continue. “We thought you’d try to take T’Pril away and we don’t want that. What we’re suggesting,” he indicated the recorder, “is a trial period. T’Pol tells me that Vulcan children regularly undergo assessment of their physical and mental health and educational standard. T’Pril’s next assessment is in five months. Leave her with us until then and we’ll see what the assessors say. If she’s suffering from being on Earth then we’ll think again, but whatever the outcome, T’Pol and I will be staying together.”

Branek looked up from the legal agreement in his hand. “This is what you want, T’Pol?”

“It is, father. Very much.”

He sighed. “Your mother is likely to divorce me if I agree to this.”

“Would that be a bad thing?”

“You have always been an undutiful daughter, T’Pol, with a strong streak of stubbornness and frivolity.” He saw the human grin and his daughter look reprovingly up at him. “I will spend the rest of the day with my granddaughter to judge her current well-being for myself and meditate on the matter tonight. You will have my decision tomorrow.”

“Thank you, father.”

“So you’ll be staying for lunch, sir?”

“If you will accept me into your house, Commander Tucker, I will. I have an interest in these bananas of which T’Pril speaks with such fondness.”

They went to the beach the next day so that Tucker and T’Pol had something else to think about than Branek’s decision and when they returned home the message light was blinking on the computer terminal. T’Pol gave it a cool look and slipped into the seat with unruffled composure to access Branek’s conclusion. He was brief. “I will return in five months. Live long and prosper, T’Pol, Commander Tucker.”

One of T’Pol’s eyebrows cocked slightly as she filed the message then she rose to approach Tucker who was biting his lip, too nervous to read the message himself. “It would appear that we are staying.”

He drew a sharp breath then let it out in a whoop, snatching her into his arms to spin her around. “Yes!”

“Dad! Not the kissy stuff!”

Tucker ignored his son’s advice and kissed T’Pol soundly, while she clung to his shoulders and took the most of the opportunity to kiss him back.

-fin-

In case anyone is interested, the title is from another Christina Rossetti sonnet. This one was too apt to resist:

The irresponsive silence of the land,
The irresponsive sounding of the sea,
Speak both one message of one sense to me:-
‘Aloof, aloof, we stand aloof, so stand
Thou too aloof, bound with the flawless band
Of inner solitude; we bind not thee;
But who from thy self-chain shall set thee free?
What heart shall touch thy heart? What hand thy hand?’-
And I am sometimes proud and sometimes meek,
And sometimes I remember days of old
When fellowship seemed not so far to seek,
And all the world and I seemed much less cold,
And at the rainbow’s foot lay surely gold,
And hope felt strong and life itself not weak.

*****************

Return to Part Two

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A whole mess of folks have made comments

This is one of the best ff's I've read in such a long time. It's so full of humour and compassion and it's utterly believeable and utterly beautiful. Well done, this is an absolute triumph.

I thought the other ending was good but this is even better! Oh wow, I love Trip and T'Pol getting back together and the way the children are merging into a family. Loved it, loved it, LOVED it! Thank you so much, and um - any bananas left? Ali D :~)

This was excellent, could not put the pages down!

The hardship T'Pol had endured brought tears to my eyes, in fact so many parts of this story was pulling on heart string.

Love the many tender moments!!

Your series is without a doubt the best T'Pol/Tucker story I have read. The characterisations are spot on; the plots; the way you acknowledged the difficulties of a relationship between a human and a vulcan. And did I mention your ability to tug at the heartstrings and amuse and make us wonder how it would all turn out?

Truly, these stories are - all of them - absolutely fantastic.

If you supplied an email I'd write privately so I could gush even more ... but this'll have to do! Thanks for writing, and I can't wait for more of your stories!

Wow! This was fantastic! I was completely absorbed and as a result got no work done. Great job!!

My praise for this ending was posted at the end of the alternative ending. This one was so good I had to re-read it, which led to a question? Ten years and Trip is still a commander? Doesn't seem right, somehow? Especially with Archer and Ambassador - nit picking - his rank does not detract from the excellence of the story.

Really one of the best, most in-depth Tucker/T'Pol stories I've ever read. Please tell us that we get to read about what happens when Dr. Branek comes back in five months.

I loved this ending! Completely entertaining. Nice to see a glimpse of how T&T might be after their years on Enterprise. But I have to tell you... this really demands a follow-up. Anyone else want to know what happens in a five months... or a year later? ;-)

Great writing!

any chance for an epilogue? hint hint...wedding? but the stoy was great, i'm off to read the alternate ending, i hope it's not sad.
artemis moonshine

WOW! That was truly wonderful. Trip and T'Pol were so in character, and I loved the way they reacted to both their own children and the other's.

Trip makes a wonderful, chaotically disorganised but loving father, and I laughed at the way his family was 'contaminating' T'Prill.

I do hope we get to read what happens after the five month trial period.

I'm off now to read the alternative ending, but I hope it doesn't have a sad ending.

Thanks for a wonderful story.

too moving for words...I really didn't think you could have followed up the end of your saga with such an emotionally charged story...it is a pleasant surprise. So much pain and grief and sorrow, I loved it all...

i love everything about this story. And i mean everything. From the way you describe Trip's heart-melting smile, to the way you convey such deep emotions. And somehow, even though it's T'pol who's experiencing them, it still feels perfect and in character. And yes, i did cry again. and although someone always seems to walk in on me when i'm reading these and bawling my eyes out, and then leaves abruptly in apparent disgust at my sissiness.....i find myself not caring because i am definitely more than justified. and no-one can convince me otherwise. so off i go to read your next entry, which promises to leave me in a sobbing mess and with the permanent tag of Ms. Wuss from the rest of my family. i'm sure i will not be dissapointed.

woops! i didn't add my name at the end of that. oh well. i just had to mention that there was one part that did have me in a giggle fit. i'm not quite sure if it was just me or if that was all you and the great wording and context, but it was this line “Uncle Jon’s a sissy.” hehehe. it's got me started again! thanks again!

I agree with Ali D - I really liked the other ending alternative, but as a stand alone story. This one is much better in terms of the whole series. I didn't want it to end (except to find out they would be staying together). I found the whole idea of T'pol not spilling her story right away totally believable, and Janice was a nice touch (although I was quite confident she wasn't his lover, a babysitter, friend, whatever). The nod to "Strange New World" professor at the airport was terrific. I even liked T'pol's father and found his characterization believable (she had to have gotten her personality from somewhere). I'm sorry we didn't learn anything about life after Enterprise for Malcolm and Travis, but it was great that Archer and Hoshi ended up together. I think that there's definitely potential for some follow up to see how they make out (live as a family, not that "kissy stuff") in a year, or five or ten. Perhaps an epilogue! PLEASE!!! This was great writing. Thanks.

This was simply amazing! Thank you so much for sharing it with us!

Excellent! A tear jerker but so positive at the same time. I love T'Pol in this story, and was happy to see that Trip wasn't "not in love" after all. Thanks for a great read. Please, keep writing.

Dude! You gotta keep writing - fanfiction, diary entries, short stories, whatever. You're talented. Keep it up.

I have read the whole series a couple times now and all I can say is Wow!! There is some real talent here. The story has been in my head ever since it was first posted. great work. more please. anything.

You have some wonderful original characters here, not to mention your spot-on writing of Trip and T'Pol. I think you handled a difficult situation to describe, very very well! T'Pril is exactly what I imagine T'Pol's daughter would be like, bananas and all... ;)

Best. Story. Ever.

What happens in five months?

Ok, wasted a whole lot of time reading this... And I don't care. This series is just phenomenal. Your writing is next to none! Excellent. Now, what exactly happens after 5 months...?

Ever the hopeful romantic, I love a happy ending.

This entire series has been utterly amazing. It's been high and low, light humored, and full of angst. Definitely one of the better fanfics I have ever read. I loved this companion story. The romantic in me finds it much more fitting, and the realist in me finds a way to agree. Naturally, if Trip was so instrumental in T'Pol's growing and becoming emotional and being saved and recovering from Soval, it would make sense for her emotions for him to not simply fade away. I loved the story, thank you for sharing it.

Oh god! Thank you for this ending!!! I am quite possibly the world's biggest sap and you've really made my day! phew! What an incredible story - or series of stories - I have spent the last three days avidly reading them as fast as I could. I simply adore your characterisation, the way you can build tension and the absolute sweetness of everyone's favourite Engineer. Thanks again, now I just have to sit back and hope the show follows your lead!

Wonderful! I really needed a distraction tonight and this was perfect! I cant wait to read more of your stories:)

Finally!! A happy ending. What a beautiful way to end this wonderful series. As I've read this series over the past two weeks, it was as if I was drawn into another, fully-realized, world. That is one of the highest compliments I can give, (my own personal opinion,of course) to any piece of literature. Thanks for sharing your gift.

This is by far one of the best Fan fics I have ever read. And a wonderful end to a wonderful series. Thoroughly engaging. I was totally involved. Please, please, please keep writing

I enjoyed reading this story thoroughly. The characters are very well written and very believable. The way you describe their actions and motivations is great. I especially liked that most of it is quite subtle! For instance, the statement

> T'Pol extracted a tissue [...] to deal with the
> cut, knowing that years before Tucker would have
> done it for her, even though she had been as
> capable then as now of looking after herself.

tells you so much more about T'Pol than hitting the reader over the head with "information" would have. I could really *imagine* them sitting on the beach while this happened, and the image has stayed with me ever since then.

Thank you very much!

Just wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed this story - every time I neared the bottom of the page I hoped it would continue. Hope you write more about Trip and T'Pol soon.

It's 5 AM, why am I up? Oh right -- because this story was awesome! Thank you so much for writing it. "Remember" was heartbreaking. Although I do wish that T'Pol had let T'Pril call Trip "Daddy."

*sigh* I just had to read again. *wipes away tear* So beautiful. I cry every time I read this without fail. Thank you!

This is fantastic! I was trying not to cry in the beginning.

Without a shadow of doubt, the absolute best piece of writing I've ever had the pleasure to read, so professionally laid out & described, it was perfection, please do EVERYONE a favor, & continue this story..........

I loved this series so much and this story especially. I love a well done AU and boy does this qualify! Now I have to go and comment on the story that continues this because that one was just as awesome! Thanks! :)

I have only one thing to say. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

Oh love, love, love, love, love! I've read it three times and it still rocks. Please write more. The happy domestic stuff gets me every time (especially when interspersed with some good angst)!

Uhhhhhhh! :) sigh sigh that was awsome keep it up!

I'm a newbie to this site and Enterprise in general, but a hopeless TnT'P-er already. I /love/ this story. Just . . wonderful. I can't wait to read it again! (and again, and again . .)

Thank you so much for sharing!

i love this story. every time i read it, i love it more. this is the only fic i have read that i understood t'pol's motivations and inner monologue completely. i really feel for her. this is fabulous. a really sensitive read. great job!

What an absolutely fabulous series!! I've been enthralled from the moment I started reading it.

Love love love love the way you've written these characters. It's like you crawled inside their heads and see what makes them tick. Thank you so much!

Now that's more like it! Happy endings. I'm a sucker for a happy ending. :-) Just terrific. Thank you.

I've read this series a few times. It's still one of my favorites.

Magnificent. Best story ever!!! I've read it a couple of times and I'm sure I will again. Keep writing

What a delightful experience to read your series! The way you have developed the relationship of Trip and T'pol from the very the beginning was totally believable, it really gave me the feel of watching the actual series. And I also love this ending! I wish there was a continuation though. I can't get enough of the domestic Trip and T'pol. I wonder what will happen if Natalie comes back and tries to get custody of Charlie and Katie!

this is my favourite t/t story of alll time!

this is my favourite t/t story of all time!

this series was fanTASTIC, absolutely fantastic.

I wnat you to know I'm a tnt author and I am FLOORED by this series. The fact that you started it in Season 1 gives it a completely unique tone and storyline that is a breath of fresh air. I will look into more of your writing and I hope you produce more.

I don't know where to begin to compliment so many parts of this, but one thing I need to say Is I'm glad I'm not the only one who saw taht something between Archer and Hoshi would be cool!

The single parents approach to Trip and T'Pol - the 10 years break, absolutely unique and real and touching. Tip-top fantastic writing.

I'm pretty bad about not leaving comments on stories but I need to say this is my second most favorite story on the site. I love this story!

I love this story so much! Would love to see what happens in five monthes but Im guessing if ya havent done a sequal by now ya never will, pity but yay for the story :)

I love this story. Everything that you have writen is very good. Esp this story. thanks

I love this story. Everything that you have writen is very good. Esp this story. thanks for writing such great story.