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Alive at Last

A | Author - Starbaby | Genre - Drama | Genre - General | Main Story | Rating - G
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Alive at Last

By Starbaby

Rating: G, General/Drama
Disclaimer: They rock, but they're not mine.
Summary: Just a little post-ep vignette for "Sleeping Dogs" to ease my disappointment over Trip not being in the shower, too. Feedback is better than pineapple birthday cake. Oh, I just guestimated how long they've been flying around aimlessly. Don't flame me if I'm wrong.
1/31/01

The courage it takes to stay tight in the bud is more painful than the courage it takes to blossom--Anais Nin

*********************

I leave the decontamination chamber precisely thirty minutes after the Doctor's first call.

Five months, two days, and ten hours ago--before Enterprise-I wouldn't have remained a moment longer than was strictly necessary for health and sanitation, would never have agreed that the shower experience was...pleasant. This is yet another example of the disturbing trend in my behavior that is taking place. As a native of Vulcan, I should not take...satisfaction...from frivolous things like hot showers, camaraderie, or sweet foods that promote tooth decay.
Five months, two days, and ten hours ago I wouldn't have found myself drifting toward the shuttle bay in search of answers about humanity. I didn't want to understand them, then, to know why they board sinking vessels, despite being filled with fear and flu, and why they are determined to take Earth to the stars. Why this manifest destiny that stirs the hearts of men?

I find him repairing the shuttle that was damaged by the grappler, whistling something lively.

Five months, two days, and ten hours ago, I wouldn't have come to the most human of men for an objective viewpoint on his species, but many things have changed since then. In that time, we have clashed, and conversed, faced Andorians, fought Suliban, slept in the open, inhaled spores, and regarded each other across a candle flame. He is the first human I ever really touched.
I watch him for a moment, the way his competent hands move over metal. Hands, heart, mind--the three ways by which humans grasp the world and change it. I think about Ensign Sato, with her languages, and Lieutenant Reed, with his weapons. I wonder if the ones who come after will know how they struggled so.

Finally, I ask, "Commander Tucker, why are you in space?"

Why, when there is majesty here, but little welcome? Why would so earthy a person willingly leave that pearl of a planet set for a sea of forbidding black? Why expand when what lies beyond may, ultimately, prove too harsh an environment? Why go farther than anyone has gone before?

He pauses thoughtfully, still the boy-man I met five months, two days, and nearly ten hours ago.

"Because it's there."

His answer strikes me as whimsical at first, until I think about these days on Enterprise, the people I have met, and how the Vulcan High Council doubted they would survive a month. It's possible that this mad, desperate desire to explore is what keeps them always moving forward. Were I to return to Vulcan today, I would have to tell my superiors that the humans I knew were arrogant and foolhardy-- but not insane.

Overall, they were bright, vigorous, and strong.

Five months, two days, and nine hours ago, I wouldn't have neglected my work to watch Commander Tucker do his.

I wouldn't have stayed to hear him whistle something lively.

FINIS

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A handful of people have made comments

This was a wonderful story...honestly I love all of your insightful musings about T'Pol. It is what I hope to achieve with my stories. I hope you plan on entering the writing contest and look forward to your future work

I found this site very recently, and as you can imagine, it's hard to know what fiction to read first! This story was short, but very beautfiful. I liked the way you expressed T'Pol's thoughts, and feelings, though it was a worry to her that she had any, and, of course, I loved the way she needed to find Trip straight away, to try to sort her feelings out. Keep up the good work!

Beautifully written observational piece. I really loved this peek into T'Pol's mind and how she tries to reason out her thoughts. Brought a nice big happy smile to my face. Please write more! Thank you, Ali D :~)

Again, a brilliant ending! The last two lines are simple, yet deep, and they echo inside in a wonderful way.

You're a very skilled interpreter of T'Pol's alineness and her subsequent motives, without bashing us, your readers, over the head with her Vulcan-ness.

you paint a lovely picture