A Different Kind of Communication - Part IV

A Different Kind of Communication

By: T L R

Rated: PG-13-Mild adult content
Disclaimer: Enterprise is the property of UPN and Paramount Productions.

Summary: This story picks up where Part 3 ended. T'Pol is still in a deep sleep, Trip is privy to her every thought. He's been watching some of her most tortured memories and feeling as though he really didn't understand what she had been going through. Guilt mixed with worry ran through his being. His love, for the young Vulcan, was growing with every new scene. Let's get back to the show.

Warning: These are memories, so there will be dialogue from the show at times. Just so you know.

March 10, 2005

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Part IV

The scene blanked for a moment. Gone were the vivid colors and shapes before him. The room remained a muted shade of gray, shadows surrounded them as if Trip's mood was controlling the light switch. He now knew his beloved had gone through much more than he ever suspected in the Expanse. Somewhere inside, Trip thought there might be a problem. But T'Pol's steely Vulcan ways always seemed to come between him and his helping her. Yet she freely and openly helped him, he knew he would never have made it through their time in the Expanse without her. Why didn't she trust him, the way he trusted her.

Trip reviewed what he saw to this point. He knew now he'd been in love with the young woman far longer than their night together. Knew his attraction started to her almost immediately. Why he hadn't seen it sooner he couldn't say. Trip admitted T'Pol was a beautiful woman. Her stature, grace and physical presence were hard to miss. His memory went back to the time when he and Malcolm were stranded in the shuttlepod. They were drunk, stinking drunk and Malcolm was determined to drink a toast to T'Pol's bum.

Trip was aware of Malcolm's interest in T'Pol as well. Many was the time he'd noticed a lieutenant's eyes following the young woman as she turned to leave. On movie night, if he knew she was going, Malcolm would make a point of showing up and trying to be seated within viewing range of her chair. Trip chuckled to himself. (He didn't hide it well) He thought then turned. His eyes looked down at the sleeping figure in his lap.

T'Pol remained quiet, her body was relaxed and somewhere in Trip's mind he could feel a gentle hum. He knew little of this place, how he came to be here and why, but felt somehow that hum was not just background noise. For it soothed him in a way he could not understand. After what he just saw he should have been irate. T'Pol did in fact to his knowledge, operate for several months under the influence, but right now he could not sense the same feeling of shame from her as he did while watching her deeds. Now all he focused on was his love for her, wondering when she realized it and why she never brought it to his attention.

Trip noticed light flowing back at him again. The scene was coming alive once more and knowing T'Pol was getting her much needed rest, Trip was only too happy to go back to being an observer. The next few scenes were choppy, short sprints of different times that seem connected but weren't.

First was T'Pol standing on the bridge of the Enterprise at the security station. She was updating Reed on his proposed protocols but feeling very uneasy. Her face did not betray her inward senses. Trip watched to get some idea what was making her so uncomfortable. As she spoke, he saw Reed's eyes take a roving glance down her body stopping it specific parts of the female persuasion. When they returned up her posterior, Trip saw them linger with great appreciation. He wondered, knowing Malcolm's enjoyment of that particular body part if Trip was simply exaggerating his moves. But as he watched, it was evident the Lieutenant was ogling her blatantly. He then saw T'Pol's eyes shift briefly to Reed's face. She caught the downward glance and put more force in her voice to get the lieutenant's mind back on business.

Next T'Pol was traveling the passageways of deck B. Lt. Reed and some of his security staff were assisting the engineers at patching some of the bulkheads for Trip. The lieutenant came to attention as she passed and she offered him a quick acknowledgement. "Lt."

As T'Pol moved away, Reed came back to her calling her name. "T'Pol"

T'Pol stopped and turned. Again there was an uneasy feeling within her but she didn't let it show. "Lieutenant?" She returned again. Reed fumbled a bit now trying to find some reason why he stopped the young woman.

"The captain asked that I keep him informed on our progress. Would you please tell him repairs are coming along steadily and my team hopes to have them completed by 2100 hours." He reported to her in strict military fashion, his body at attention as if trying to impress her.

"Good work Lt. I will inform the Captain." and with that T'Pol turned to leave. As she got about 30 meters away, Malcolm relaxed his stance and murmured "Nice bum .... Mighty nice bum."

T'Pol caught his words as she stood at the entrance of the turbo left. When the door opened she did not show any signs of acknowledging the young man's words. Once the door closed, he noticed T'Pol's expression.
(Bum.......what's a bum?) and she made a mental note to look up the term in one of the Enterprise's many linguistics banks.

Trip just laughed. If Malcolm knew that T'Pol had heard his comment, he would be 4 shades of green, not her. Now the scene changed again. They were on the bridge of the Enterprise getting ready to take mass sensor readings of a planetary disturbance ahead. The captain had already charged T'Pol with being sure that the sensor array would be calibrated and ready and is usual Trip use this opportunity to spend time with the young woman.
"I can help ya with that."

This time however, Trip noted a slightly uneasy look upon her face as he joined her at the observation station. The bridge crew was present although no one bothered to look and Trip noted he felt quite free to speak with the young woman, even amongst the crowd before them. (Was that the reason for T'Pol's uneasiness, or was it something else?)

"So, you coming tonight?" Trip asked having already mentioned the film to her earlier.

"If these sensors are calibrated by then." She returned him uneasy.

"Well ya better make up your mind, seats are gonna fill up fast." The young engineer's smile wavered a bit. But from where Trip sat he could see T'Pol's reaction and wondered how he missed it. He saw her visibly squirm at his open invitation and couldn't understand whether she objected to his offer or to him. He watched a moment longer then realized she was concerned about the other bridge staff overhearing the conversation. She moved from across the console to stand next to him.

"According to the database Frankenstein is also work of literature." T'Pol returned absently looking at some buttons before her.

"Yep..... Mary Shelley wrote it.... the wife of a famous poet."

"Perhaps a dramatic reading would be more illuminating." T'Pol suggested and Trip's smile wavered further.

"You expect a mess hall full of crewman to sit still while somebody reads to them?" Now Trip's smile had all but vanished.

"They would be more likely to appreciate the author's true intent." She returned evenly.

"You wanna start a book club, go right ahead." Trip could see his demeanor changing. At the time he thought she was putting down his form of entertainment, that's what probably angered him so.

He remembered the frustration he was feeling and now knew he was actively flirting with the young woman. Trip always told himself he was simply being friendly to T'Pol, helping her fit in. But was he?

His mind went back to earlier in the day when they were in engineering and he was informing her that the sensor array was on line.

"You'll be glad to hear the thermal scanners are up and running." Trip reported to T'Pol as she came up to him.

"And the imaging relays?" She asked with efficiency.

"Yep... we'll drop six, seven of them in high orbit... that should give us a bird's-eye view of every volcano on the planet." Trip noted her approving glance. "You know, there's not a lot for us to do once we get there, the sensors will record everything automatically."

"You should have plenty of time to practice your harmonica." she returned with the whimsical tone. Observing this Trip realized that T'Pol was not being her usually formal self. (Was she flirting with me or did I just take it that way?) He wondered then went on to watch a very brazen engineer try and ask the Vulcan out on a date. Trip felt a bit of embarrassment as he now realized his thoughts were actually her memories. He had been absently watching them play out before him.

Trip watched himself outlining a plan for the date. He tried to conceal it as if just inviting her to join the rest of the crew. But inside Trip now knew she had a hold on him and he wanted more. Maybe he'd been the reason for her sudden change. Maybe he'd become too brazen in his interactions with her. Since her marriage to Koss and subsequent divorce, Trip didn't even try to hide his feelings for her. However much like the scene before him, she seemed hesitant to respond to his good natured attention.

"I have no interest in horror movies." She returned dryly.

"How do you know if you've never seen one? You don't have to see all of them, just come the first night." The young engineer seemed so desperate.

"I promise you'll like it. Reanimated life forms, science run amok, there right up your alley." The young man flashed her, his warmest most caring smile but now saw her hesitant and unsure glance.

*** Trip also remembered that for whatever reason T'Pol ended up being the Captain's date that night, a fact that ate at him throughout the entire picture. (She really did have me hooked.) A realization that the young Commander was now having to deal with. Trip reviewed in his mind the hundreds of times he found excuses to be around T'Pol. All the times he pretended to need her services, when in fact he could have done the job alone. But being with her was far better than anything he'd ever known. Maybe that was the reason why her rejection had been so incredibly devastating.

The scene before unchanged once more. Now the captain, T'Pol and Phlox were in sickbay. The good doctor handed T'Pol, of all people a baby bottle, as he reached in to a full-size incubator and removed a wailing infant. T'Pol stood feeling out of place and there was a strange sense of panic in her being. Trip wondered what the conflict was. She watched with distain as the captain and Phlox discussed the baby's future and Trip realized immediately it was him in the Denobulan's arms.

From there, the scene was engineering and a fresh-faced young teen remarkably looking like Trip had, walked amiably up to the busy Vulcan. He handed her a padd, waited for her to review its data and stood trying his best 'at attention' stance. Once she reviewed the data, she handed the padd absently back to the young man. T'Pol praised him on his excellent work then assigned him yet another job. He agreed then waited a moment until the young woman realized he hadn't left.

"They're show'n a night at the opera . . . the Marx Brothers . . . if you're interested." the young man's voice was just passed the squeaky two toned version of a preteen lad. His southern accent seemed somehow thicker, is if he'd just transported from the Florida panhandle a moment ago.

Trip was shocked, he knew his feelings for T'Pol but didn't realize she would have affected him the same way at that age. He watched as T'Pol turned somewhat uneasy at his inquiry.

"I shall be busy in engineering through out the evening." The young guy just nodded, his eagerness lowered a twinge.

"Then how bout some dinner?" His encouragement returned. T'Pol once again looked uneasy.

"I planned to work right through dinner." T'Pol returned evenly not even looking at him.

The younger Trip didn't retreat, but simply added. "It's cause I'm different isn't it. Why you don't want to spend any time with me."

"Until Enterprise is repaired and we can get out of this space, I feel our time would be better spent in seeing to the tasks at hand." T'Pol hoped to dissuade the young man from further invitations, but felt a twinge of guilt seeing the hurt on his face.

"I don't know if I'll still be around by then, that's all." T'Pol looked up and gave him a knowing glance. The young man smiled weakly, and nodded, going about his new task. Trip now watched T'Pol's face and registered an unmistakable sadness there he'd never seen before.

(What does she feel for him?) Trip's mind wondered. Was T'Pol thinking of Sim or of Trip. And if she was thinking of Sim then why couldn't she feel that for him too.

Now a full grown Trip stood in T'Pol's quarters leaning up against her locker. Trip didn't remember ever having done this. He listened to the conversation and realized it wasn't him, it was Sim. There, a full-size version of Trip stood just a few feet away from the object of his desire. Listening on, he corrected 'their desire'. Sim had initially been speaking to her about his plan to pull Enterprise free. After she acknowledged it, he then took a chance and asked about the real reason he was there. The now Trip felt uneasy as he watched the equally dashing clone ask about the Vulcan's relationship with the original.

"I think Trip was really starting to enjoy those neuropressure sessions."

"They were helping him sleep." T'Pol returned looking down to the floor.

"I don't think that's the only reason he liked '‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘em." Sim returned and saw the questioning look on her face.

"Were you and Trip ever..... I mean . . ." He asked his hands folded behind him leaning up against the lockers.

T'Pol looked uneasy it that. "If you mean were we romantically involved.... No"

"It's just that... you're all I think about,.... if you know what I mean. The part that's driving me crazy....... is that I don't know if these are my feelings..... or his."

"I can't help you." T'Pol whispered, her voice breaking noticeably shaken.

"I didn't mean to make you feel uneasy." He added trying to relax her reaction to his inquiry. T'Pol evened her features and replied. "You haven't."

After Sim's departure, T'Pol's mind traveled back to the moment when Archer told her of Trip's grim condition. He saw her stoic features, but felt in her heart a devastating sadness. Her duty was to the ship, but he realized at that moment if she had not been Vulcan, T'Pol would have rushed to his side and never left. (she does love me. She's love me for a long while, why didn't I know it... sense it....something?)

Now they were in Trip's quarters, again a memory that wasn't his. There his clone lay petting a very content Porthos. The intercom buzzed and it was Phlox informing the young man his time had come. Trip could feel his trepidation, sense his sadness in having to give up a life he just barely knew. As he made his way to the door, the chime sounded. He pushed the button and the door swooshed open. There stood T'Pol, and Trip could feel the young man's heart brighten.

"May I come in?" She asked feeling a bit out of place. Trip realized this was the first time T'Pol had ever come to his quarters. Sim motioned her in.

T'Pol continued. "I just wanted to let you know how much your absence will affect the crew." She took a moment then. "How it will affect me." Sam’s eyes opened wide with amazement. He started to thank her but quickly saw her move towards him and plant a very passionate kiss upon his lips. This took the real Trip off guard. His breath caught in his throat, his eyes were wide and not blinking. He watched as she lingered there a moment, then stepped back from him, her face filled with longing and caring.

A bit out of breath, the young man replied "That is the best going away present I could have ever hoped for." That statement only brought more expression to the young Vulcan's face. She held his eyes for long moments, wishing they had more time together. This didn't sit well with the resident engineer. His mind was a jumble. Before him he saw himself being kissed the way he had long to be by the woman he loved so and yet it wasn't him. (Could T'Pol sense the difference?) Another sick thought came to his mind. (That night they were together, had he come in, in second place?)

**** Trip wasn't sure if he wanted to see any more. If somehow her thoughts should reveal to him he wasn't her first choice he'd be devastated. Trip could tell by the flickering in front of him the scene had changed but fought the urge to give in and watch. He heard the commentary, knew of the memory and wondered why after thinking of Sim, why she now was remembering her deception of him.

It was the night of their first neuropressure session. She and Dr. Phlox had conspired to get him involved knowing it wouldn't be easy. Trip had never really thought of T'Pol as deceptive. After her performance that night, he knew her capable of anything for the right reasons. When the commentary got to the point of her disrobing, Trip couldn't help but watch. He saw himself uneasily trying to find the pressure points she described after having seen her removed the top of her lounging outfit and lay it on her lap.

"A little further up ... yes, right there ... move your fingers a little closer together.....Yes." Trip remembered feeling like a teenager learning how to please a woman for the first time all over again. "Harder....... harder." She prompted him. Trip now had a better view of this, a much better view. She sat before him cupping her breasts in her hands, her eyes closed enjoying the sensation he was affording her. Trip realized if he felt aroused then, it was nothing to what he was feeling right now. And when he reached the pressure she desired, any wonder he may have had about her reaction had been answered. For in this version, Trip could sense from her, extreme arousal that was mixed with surprise. He wondered if she knew she would have this reaction when she agreed to the sessions.

As the scene progressed, Trip could sense a change in her demeanor. Usually when they argued she'd take on a very clinical response. But this time, her reactions to his displeasure at being deceived were almost intimate. He also couldn't help but notice a soft tingle running through her body as she ordered. "Take off your shirt!"

Equally surprising was the look on her face as she prepared to get her hands on the young engineer's muscled body. Her eyes held anticipation, which quickly changed when Trip's glare whipped around and caught her look. But what really stood out to Trip about that night, was the overwhelming wave of relaxation her touch caused. His mind became dizzy, every bit of stress he had flowed out of him like a leaky sieve. From that night on, he anticipated their sessions. Looked forward to them, even missed them when the needs of the ship had to come first. Trip told himself over and over it was 'cause he was sleeping well. But now he knew, it was simply because he had a part of T'Pol that no one else could, her heart.

*** The scene changed again and as if anticipating this would be the next one, Trip leaned forward a bit ready to study it fully. As each scene changed he caught new insight as to what T'Pol was feeling. This one he had to know.

The room was dark, candles lighting the corners. Trip lay prone on her meditation cushions. His arms crossed beneath his chin and eyes shut.

"Between all this training and all the extra shifts in engineering, I've been looking forward to this all day." Trip murmured, relaying the fact but also trying to engage the rather quiet Vulcan in conversation.

"Sit up" she returned her voice quiet, her lips barely moving.

Trip watched as her gaze never met his. He studied her face, her features and tried to get a sense of where her mind was. Earlier when she spoke with him, she seemed rather displeased at his new friendship with Corporal Cole. This pleased him, just a bit, as did any overt emotional outbursts he caught her in.

"You aren't say'n much tonight. Don't tell me you're still upset about me and Amanda." A soft smile tried to form on his lips. From his viewpoint now, Trip's opinion didn't change. (She was jealous.)

"I'm not upset." She returned promptly and still tight-lipped. T'Pol concentrated heavily on her finger positions trying to maintain her control. Trip could sense from her a strange mixture. It wasn't anger, but she was displeased with him. Moreover it was a sense of hurt he couldn't understand. It's not like he cheated on her, but her heart seemed to feel that way.

"It sure sounds like it." The young man returned. "You're mistaken." T'Pol fired back quickly a bit of annoyance growing.

Trip took a long inhale. "Why would a few neuropressure sessions between me and a MACO be such a big deal?" He exhaled heavily and watched as T'Pol took a steadying breath herself.

"Unless...?" He cut off to elicit a response from the female. Trip saw her eyes shoot up at him. And instead of staring at her fingertips, she was looking him directly in the eyes. "Unless what?" She asked steeling herself.

"Unless you're.... a little jealous." Trip let it slide out from his lips and tried desperately not to let them curl up, with the smirk he was feeling. Trip watched on as he saw of very defensive T'Pol try to convince him she was not being emotional about the young man's spare time. The banter continued, with the young engineer having the upper hand until Sam’s name was mentioned.

At the time, Trip didn't like the idea of another man getting so close to T'Pol. He remembered that fact, even realize that was how this whole evening got started. But now knowing what really transpired, Trip wondered if he could have downplayed his disapproval at all.

"I think you're mistaken about who's attracted to whom." T'Pol's words brought him back to the scene before him.

"Are you saying I'm attracted to you?" The young man's tone was that of attempted astonishment.

"I don't need to say it you already have." She looked directly in his eyes and relayed the information, then went back to finding a new position on his shoulders.

More astonished, the young man answered. "I don't remember that conversation."

T'Pol thought a moment then returned. "It wasn't you, it was your clone..... Sim told me."

"Sim?" his face scrunched a bit.

"He said he had feelings for me." T'Pol moved her fingers to a spot closer to the base of his neck.

"He told you that...?" Trip's features became more twisted.

"Standing right there." T'Pol inclined a head toward her bunk.

"What the hell was he doing in your room?" Trip's volume increased and the last few words out of his mouth became a hiss.

"Your voice is tensing up." T'Pol seized the opportunity to turn the tables.

"So now you're the vocal expert." Trip cocked his head to the side watching her play this game.

"I don't need to be an expert to read you." T'Pol met his eyes, and Trip could tell by her gaze that a smirk was somehow hiding there. As the older Trip watched this, he could feel the pleasure that T'Pol felt. For the first time he knew she was having fun with him too. Trip remembered telling her mom about their chemistry when they argued but long thought he was the only one gaining amusement by it. The feelings he received from this T'Pol were that of mischief, acceptance and glee.

And something else he noticed for the first time about that night. Normally with any other neuropressure sessions, T'Pol wore her lounging clothes. But tonight, she wore her robe. Maybe it was just because he knew the outcome, that he didn't notice it then. But as T'Pol kneeled before him, there was a hint of bare skin peering through the slit of the garment. Just a glimpse of her thigh was all, but knowing how much Trip loved the shape of her legs, it was a wonder he didn't pick up on it then. (Had T'Pol planned this night from the start?) He returned his attention to the scene.

"I can't believe this........ I'm jealous..... of myself?...." The young engineer seemed greatly confused.

"You're jealous?" T'Pol returned quite eagerly. Her eyes shifted back and forth to examine his closely.

"No... absolutely not!" He returned defensively, then both Trips saw the Vulcan's reaction. At the time, he thought it was one of embarrassment, having the discussion turned so intimate.

Now he was sure.... It was one of disapproval. Somehow Trip sensed T'Pol knew of his feelings and was encouraging him to speak of them. When he hadn't and in fact lied to cover them, she fell silent. Trip knew that gesture in itself made him come clean, if only a little.

"OK, maybe.......maybe I am.... a little." And with those words hope returned once again to T'Pol's face. Trip realized it, but now could feel it is if he were in the young woman's head. Encouragement, mixed with a strange sense of desire twisted round and round, filling the room as it filled her senses.

"Which would mean you are attracted to me." T'Pol returned quickly and saw Trip's eyes squint tightly in disapproval.

"It goes with the assumption." She added and saw his face twist further.

The young man seemed confused. He'd simply been teasing T'Pol, trying to get a reaction from her. Now it seemed, not only had she turned the tables on him, but was actually getting a confession from him.

"What just happened here..... Did we? . . ... Are we?...." He was unsure were this conversation was taking them. But the older Trip knew all too well. He could see T'Pol's eyes fixate on his mouth. He watched as the young woman planned her attack. She pounced upon him, much like a cat on a mouse, clasping her mouth to his, with passionate kisses. Her hands went to his face and brought it tightly to hers. For a split-second the young Trip was taken aback, but as the sensation grew his hands instinctively encircled the young woman and pulled her tightly to him. Trip remembered his desire for her, and now saw how greatly she wanted him too. He relaxed his mind and let the passion wash over him once more. Although intense at the time, it seemed more so tonight and Trip wondered if it was just his longing to relive the experience.

As fiercely as T'Pol took him to her, she pushed him away. Her stare piercing his with desire and urgency, as she undid the belt to her satin robe and let it slide gracefully off of her shoulders. Both Trips watched transfixed, but simply from a different view. The younger Trip, still in shock from her kisses suddenly felt no shame in allowing his eyes to rove down the young woman's body. It was a reaction, Trip now knew he couldn't have helped it if he tried. T'Pol maintained her eyes upon him, a sense of sheer pleasure spinning about her as she watched him take her all in.

When his eyes returned to hers, she leaned forward and once again took his mouth. Trip's hands were hesitant at first, but quickly came about her form. Her skin was velvet smooth, like a comforting blanket having just been removed from a dryer. The heat she generated only made his senses scream louder with desire. The young man's hands started a fevered pace roving about her body. As if limited by time, they seem to need to touch every part of her as much as they could. As they kiss T'Pol leaned backward bringing the young man with her until they lay together on the floor. She too, felt the need to explore his form, pulling him harder and harder against her.

T'Pol ran her hands over his shoulders and started down his chest. Trip leaned back to give her better access, feeling the sensations her fingertips created an even higher arousal in him. They stopped on the ties to his sweatpants, and she fingered the bow loose with a turn of one digit. T'Pol brought her legs up and began running his garment downward with her feet. Again he leaned back to afford her every access. Once the garment was discarded, T'Pol returned her toes along the inside of his leg, bringing them up to mid thigh. The sensation this caused made Trip sharply inhale and he through his head back as he gasped. She reached up and brought his mouth back to hers and with one swift move she rolled them over onto his back.

To this point Trip's head was reeling. He watched his memories play out before him, remembering the sense of adventure when T'Pol forced his hands up over his head, taking full control of the act. He could see himself starting to shake at the mere thought of what she had in mind for him. But now he was sensing something new. Although his desires were great that night, reliving the experience, now they were even more so. And it didn't take Trip very long to realize the he was feeling T'Pol's desire too.

Hers was different in away. The passion inside her was great, mixed with desire, need, and longing. But there was something else he could sense warring with those feelings..... Uncertainty. The further their passion grew, the greater her mind was in conflict. This puzzled Trip greatly. He remembered that night she seemed desperate for them to be together. While they were in each other's arms, he didn't sense anything but desire.

(What . . . was there something I missed? . . . maybe she wasn't ready . . . but that can't possibly be.... She was the one that came on to me . . .) Trip turned the scene over and over in his mind. Knowing their conversation the next day, he was just starting to understand a little about why T'Pol abruptly changed her mind. It still didn't make sense though, he knew she had doubts but couldn't hone in on what the doubts were about.

(Maybe she didn't think I cared for her . . . maybe she....... she thought I'd want to keep it casual. . . . maybe that's not what Vulcan's do and she felt embarrassed trying to go about it the Human way.) Trip thought, knowing how awkward it was, those mornings after. But usually you have time to talk through those uncomfortable moments. They didn't, for shortly after they drifted off into an exhausted slumber, the tactical alert sounded bringing them both awake with the start. They scrambled for their clothes and were heading down the passageway within a bare few minutes.

(if we'd only had a chance to talk . . . I could've told her . . . maybe if she knew how much I cared for her.... how much I loved her.) Trip stopped a moment, realizing he spoke of his love in the past tense. So it was true he had been in love with her long before their time on Vulcan. He turned back to the explicit scene in front of him and started shouting at the top of his lungs.

"Tell her ... ... tell her you love her dammit ..." The scene didn't change, nor did Trip think it would, it was in fact just a memory. He looked down at her sleeping form in his lap. "I love you ... you understand me, I love you.... wake-up and hear me . . . I love you . . . God why won't she wake up, why can't I tell her. If she just knew it would change everything. "

Trip began to mentally chastise himself for not telling T'Pol before her wedding as T'Les had requested. If he'd done so, he could've stopped the wedding, he knew it now. Even if T'Pol hadn't changed her mind about going through with the wedding, Trip knew he could've found a weapon somewhere. He could've kidnapped her, held her someplace far away until she came to her senses. He fretted over what could've been as he heard in front of him the words that broke his heart.

"I've decided to marry Koss." Trip didn't even look up. He knew he would see the couple standing in the ruins of the fire planes. He wished he could forget that memory for it still tore at his heart.

When he did finally look up, they were in the main living area. The wedding party was assembled and the gong was announcing the beginning of the ceremony. Trip saw the young man standing in full Vulcan costume trying hard to sum up the courage and help T'Pol get through this.

"You look amazing." He spoke the truth but in a bittersweet reality. He should be the groom not Koss.

"Thank you for being here." Her words trembled as her body shook and Trip could feel waves upon waves of pain and sadness even more than he had that day.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world." The young man's words were meant to soothe, but Trip knew now they only saddened the young Vulcan even further. As the gong sounded again, the wedding party started for the door. He watched as T'Pol brazenly placed a kiss upon his cheek. Trip could see the disapproving looks of her attendants, and for the first time realized T'Pol didn't care who saw. She drew a final breath then exited the room as if going to her death, her emotional death.

*** Trip lowered his eyes, not wanting to relive the ceremony. He heard the priest's words and could feel the overwhelming sadness coming from the young Vulcan's heart. The feelings were so incredibly vivid, Trip's eyes started to fill with tears. He knew the incredible sacrifice T'Pol made for her mom and felt a bit angry at the reality, that it was all for naught.

For T'Les hadn't returned to her position anyway, but in fact had runaway to become a terrorist, or so was thought at the time. Trip's mind couldn't help but hold anger for his chance lost. Knowing what he knew now, the young engineer wouldn't have ever let T'Pol go through with such a farce. The sharp crashing of ammo fire, mixed with the crackling of wood burning got Trip's attention and he turned his eyes back to the scene.

There the captain, T'Pau and T'Pol stood staring about ruins before them. A groan came from the darkness, and got the group's attention. T'Pol was first to see the weak form of her mother lying in the rubble. She ran to her, checking her status with a gaze. T'Les' eyes opened to find her daughter kneeling near. She picked up a weak hand and traced the line of T'Pol's jaw.

"Mother" T'Pol called out, and Trip could hear the same pain in her voice now that she had when her father was killed. T'Pol the woman, was now the young preteen girl groping desperately for her mother's presence.

"I was afraid you were still inside." T'Les' words were weak and raspy.

"It's all right...... we found the Kir'shara." T'Pol returned brushing some of the dirt from her mother's face. Her eyes, searched desperately for any hope of her mother's survival.

"You have always struggled so with your emotions....... I came here...... I did all this to help you." T'Les continued to stroke lovingly at her daughter's face.

"I don't understand?" T'Pol's voice was barely above a whisper.

"You will." Her mother returned her gaze with a loving one.

"I've always been so proud of you....... my T'Pol." Were T'Les' last words to her daughter, as her body went limp in T'Pol's arms and she breathed her last breath.

"Mother!" the word was desperate but still whispered as if dampened by the pain in her soul. T'Pol clutched her mother's lifeless formed to her body. She rested her chin on the older woman's shoulder and for the first time in her life felt truly and utterly alone. Her eyes were wide fighting back the tears that were streaming down her face. Her breathing was shallow as if unable to leave her throat. Trip could see her body tremble as he watched her face mutate into that of the young child's he'd seen a little while ago. The pain was overwhelming. He could feel it washing over him and see it overtaking her. Trip ran a protective hand over her back, now wishing he could have been there for her, when she so desperately needed him.

The End
Part 4

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Seven people have made comments

Loved it! this is good for someone like me who started in season three. Look foreward to sequel!

Can't wait for Friday!

I loved this one! I can't wait until the last part! Great stuff! :-)

I can't wait till Friday!!!!!
This story is sooo great!!!!

sad, yet glad!

Glad you liked the little glimpse, but the final chapter comes out on tomorrow and I will then finish "Addendum" which is the follow up to "Another Way Home" series.... The problems are not done yet. That Damn Koss.............T

WOW this just gets better and better.
I love that Your havin Trip not only relive what he felt in those moments but also feel and understand what was happin with T'pol,, and its all through that great lil B-Thingy to. Cant wait to see how T'pol reacts when she finds out Trip knows everything now.