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Love and Hope

Author - TLR | Genre - Alternate Universe | Genre - Angst | Genre - Romance | L | Main Story | Rating - PG
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Love and Hope

By : TLR & Deenay

Rating: PG: Mild Language
Disclaimer: Star Trek Enterprise is a product of Paramount & UPN productions.
Summary: This starts off with a different take on the episode “ Observer Effect” ( 4th season) and goes from there. I really liked a friend of mine’s concept, so with her permission I borrowed it for this story. I gave her credit at the top. Thanks Dee for the neat idea. This is for all those who don’t like the Columbia thing. I prefer to forget the transfer ever happened. Who’s with me on that one.......?
March 05, 2005

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Chapter One:

Trip’s head was swirling, both throbbing and dizzy all at the same time. He stood in the dim glow of the decon chamber. The bluish violet haze of the lights softened the lines on the young Ensign’s body. Hoshi lay on one of the two cushions in the rear compartment. Even through the dim lighting the commander could see the intermittent strain of the virus attacking her normally vibrant features.

“Trip” the voice came from the view screen a few feet away.
“You must give her the shot. We can’t afford her getting loose again and contaminating the crew”

Trip looked up to see the familiar face of his oldest and dearest friend giving him the order to sedate the young woman in what could very well be her last hours alive. He looked back at her laying there and saw her wince a time or two more.

She was in pain; that was obvious : he thought and looked once more to his Captain for some final strength.

“Commander, please…” Phlox was almost pleading which was unusual for the always optimistic good natured alien.

“It will help her rest”, the Denobulan added, as if to help Trip make the decision more easily.

Trip took one step forward and bent towards Hoshi’s small frame. Loosing his balance a bit, he used his left hand to steady himself on a bulkhead while pressing the hypo spray against her neck with the right. The hissing sound it made sent a small chill down his spine.

Had he just sealed her fate? That thought brought tears to his already burning eyes. He looked up again toward his friends on the monitor.

“Now you Trip.” the captain added trying to manage his best confident gaze.

“But Cap’n… maybe I can stay awake, try to help you figure this thing out. I could....” Trip’s comments were cut short by his friend’s reassurance.

“T’Pol and Phlox are working hard on the matter. They will find the answers very soon. You need your rest too.” Archer distinctly felt the words catch in his throat as if he didn’t believe they would succeed in time any more than the Engineer did.

“I’m just afraid if I take this thing, I may not wake up… you know?” Trip’s words were sad and resigned. He knew his friends would do their best, but held little hope for himself and the young Ensign beside him.

“You will…” Jon responded in a soft and caring voice. “You will, I promise”

With that Trip took two wobbly steps toward his bunk and placed the hypo to his neck. He hated the feel, never wanting anyone to know that he was a bit afraid of needles. Kind of like his feet were a bit ticklish.

Not a good trait for a Commander: his mind added as he pressed the button and heard the hissing sound once more.

“Good Commander.” the alien doctor afforded him a sad smile. “Now lay down immediately for that sedative is a bit strong”

Phlox wasn’t kidding, two seconds after the spray Trip felt his knees giving way and he flung himself forward to hit the center of the cushion. With a weak hand he pulled the blanket over his shoulders and curled up into a ball. His mind danced back and forth between his body’s aches and pains and his thoughts of the grim possibilities that lay before him.

He remembered Hoshi’s academy high jinks confessions. Funny how you never really know someone till you’re at your most direr moments, He thought as his mind raced through his all too brief life

Next the face of his baby sister Elizabeth came to mind. Her silken blond hair and glowing blue eyes were stunning even to her sibling. No wonder I had a hard time finding my own soul mate, I was too busy chasing off the hoards of would be suitors knocking each other over to get to her.

At that he smiled. Trip still grieved for her loss and was beginning to think it wasn’t all bad, this situation. I guess I’ll be seeing ya soon Lizzy, seemingly residing himself to the fact that this was indeed it.

Then his thoughts changed and a darker, softer face filled his mind.

“T’Pol” The word escaped his lips like a prayer. Her image was clear in his mind, filling all the spaces that were previously his boyhood memories. Her graceful movements, her intent gaze. All the things that had held him so enthralled for the last 3 years. A serene sense of calm filled his darkened mood.

Figures she would be the last thing I would think about. He relaxed into the dream like state. She’s all I can think about lately.

Pangs of regret filled Trip’s mind as he thought of how he was leaving this. He knew when she came back from their last mission she needed time to get through loosing her mom, but he had hoped he could be a part of it. Instead she shut down as usual and he was forced to wait for an opportunity to get back involved. Looks now like that opportunity would never come.

I wish I told her, his mind kept repeating. Her mom told me to tell her but I didn’t want to make it harder for her. Now I wish she knew that I’m in love with her, cherish her…. Trip tried to move his arm, if he could get to the intercom maybe there was still time. But his arm didn’t move, much like the rest of his body. The fever or the medicine was taking its’ toll and he could feel himself slipping into unconsciousness.

“ I love you, T’Pol” he whispered hoping her super Vulcan ears would be able to hear anyway.

A bright beam appeared in the far end of the chamber and Trip thought Here we go.

But instead of the face of St. Peter, there stood bending over him the face of his beloved. Her features were hazy, but still distinguishable. Her scent, a mixture of incense and fine aged leathers wafted past his senses bringing him a strange feeling of comfort.

“T’Pol…. I love you” a final gasping breath came from his semi conscious body.

“Everything will be all right” the form said to him and closed his eyes with the light brush of her fingertips. With that the commander went off to sleep, not willing to fight the feelings of utter exhaustion.

Chapter two:

In the lab Phlox had been working for some time. He wondered intermittently what was taking T’Pol so long with the data she was compiling, but knowing the young woman’s talent for accuracy, he felt it best that he not rush her. Captain Archer had basically camped out in sick bay these last few hours and that fact was driving the usually jovial doctor to the point of loosing his temper.

Finally in a desperate act he sent the good Captain to fetch some liquid refreshment for both of them. Phlox noticed the relief on Archer’s face as he was finally feeling useful.

It was hard for the young Captain. His first mission, Star fleets first deep space vessel, its’ first crew even. And yet the Denobulan couldn’t help but admire him and his species for that matter. What they lacked in technology, they more than made up for in moxie. He, like everyone one aboard had become quite taken by this man. The loyalty he inspired, the friendship he offered, those were characteristics uncommon in most species. Even the Vulcan’s earned respect based on their resume, not their true actions. Phlox marveled at this man every time he was confronted with a new challenge. Even if the mission was going a rye, he still looked for a positive outcome. That was getting harder to do, especially in this case.

Archer entered the room two steaming cups of coffee in his hands.

“Here doc” he called to the robust man, and handed him his cup carefully.

“Any news?”, Archer’s eyes were hopeful, although he knew he had only been gone a few minutes.

“Nothing to report Captain” He accepted the cup gingerly. “Thank you.”

“Why don’t you try to rest Captain.” Phlox knew that was a stupid statement even before he got it all out.

Jon shot him a telling stare. “ I can’t rest, I got two crewman… two friends in there dying. Hell, the rest of the crew is still in danger of getting this, if we don’t find the answers and now..”

“Understood Captain… I am just awaiting the readouts from T’Pol for my final analysis”

“Where is she?” He said a bit irate.

“She is a bit overdue.” The doctor mentioned turning back to his readouts.

The Captain went over to the com panel on the wall. Slapping the buttons defiantly he shouted “ Archer to T’Pol”

He waited for an answer but none came.

“Archer to T’Pol” his tone was getting less angry and more worried. It was not like the young Vulcan to not respond immediately.

Into sickbay walked Lieutenant Reed carrying a small palm padd. He went up to Phlox and handed it over to him.

“T’Pol said I was to bring this to you as soon as the data came through.” He looked questioningly at the two men. “Is there a problem?”

“T’Pol isn’t answering her hails. Do you know where she is?” Archer asked abruptly.

“No sir… She left the bridge over an hour ago. Said I was to deliver this to Phlox the minute it came through.” Reed started to reflect the concern in his voice.

“Should I mount a search party sir?”

Archer frustrated again continued his pages. “T’Pol, come in.” He flashed back at Reed a nod and within seconds the slender man disappeared through the double doors.

Phlox perused the information on the pad and started giving it small affirmative nods as if it contained a possible solution to the virus. A few more moments of study and the doctor blurted out. “Radiation” he turned to his scanner.

“Yes radiation might just be the key.” His demeanor changed to a less dismal state.

“Radiation?”, the captain asked with a bit of hope.
“Yes Captain…it looks promising, but I caution you it hasn’t been tested yet, not on live subjects.”

“ Well what are we waiting for?! Let’s get Hoshi and Trip down here and try it.” Archer’s arms became animated as he began to pace nervously between the door and the good doctor.

“Again, Captain. I must warn you that the amount of radiation that will kill the virus will most likely kill its’ human hosts, especially in their weakened condition.” Phlox rested a hand on his friend’s shoulder to get the gravity of the situation to register.

“That won’t due....” the young man’s face turned a deeper shade of burgundy with anger. “What’s the point of killing the virus if you kill the humans it inhabits.”

The two men stood in silence reviewing their options.

“And where the hell is T’Pol?”

Chapter Three

“Archer to Reed” the com came to life ship wide.

“Reed here, Sir”

“Any luck finding T’Pol?” Frustration, concern and a bit of panic were all building in his voice.

“Not yet, Sir. She wasn’t in her quarters, or in the mess or any number of other areas of the ship. Even her badge com isn’t registering” Reed’s words sounded defeated.

“Where the hell is she?” Archer pondered with the com still open. “Try the transporter. Maybe she went down to the surface of the planet to find and bring back the host.”

“Would she do that, Sir? I mean wouldn’t she know she would be risking contamination of herself and possibly the rest of the crew?” Reed didn’t often question the logic of his superior’s orders.

“I wouldn’t think so, but maybe she felt she could contain the exposure.” The captain threw his hands in the air, a gesture lost to the young lieutenant. “Just check it out anyway.”

“On my way, Sir” Reed signed off the intercom and hustled two other security staff down the corridors after him.

What was T’Pol up to? That thought kept going through Archer’s mind. He knew she had to have had a plausible idea, or else she wouldn’t have acted on it on her own.

She’s risking her own life to save theirs. A sickening presence entered his mind and it lingered, not willing to leave. He looked again at the animated doctor as he fooled and fiddled with some buttons on the consoles before him. I hope it’s the key, I won’t loose her too…

“Reed to Captain Archer” A somewhat horrified sound came through his usual even tone.

“Go ahead. Did you find her?” Archer hung close to the speaker on the wall.

“It appears she did use the transporter, Sir, although how I don’t know.”

“What do you mean lieutenant? Where did she go? … To the planet????” Jon felt his words sink into his chest as they came out.

“No Sir… It appears she beamed herself into the decon chamber, if I am reading these controls right. There is some kind of delay rigged into the system that allowed her time to get onto the pad. I found her com badge on the top of the transport device.” Reed was still puzzled at this accomplishment.

“You mean to tell me she inter ship beamed herself into the decon chamber. That’s impossible…the aim on that thing isn’t that precise. You have to be reading it wrong.” Archer’s look was one of disbelief.

Phlox overhearing the conversation went to the monitor to look for signs she was there. Studying the screen carefully, he could make out the forms of Hoshi and Trip on the bunks. Zooming in tighter, he could just about see the outline of a small framed body curled up in the far corner of the room.

“Captain..” the doctor drew his attention from the speaker.

Archer went directly to the monitor and sure enough, curled up in a small ball was his science officer. In the dim light, it was impossible to see if she was alive or dead. The captain started for the door, but was held back by the rotund man.

“I have to get her out of there.” Archer insisted. “She hasn’t been exposed that long. She isn’t as weak as the others.”

“In doing so, Captain you risk contamination of the rest of the ship. T’Pol knew that when she went in. That is why she beamed in.” Phlox tried to sooth his frustrations

“Why would she do something like that? Why??? “

“ I don’t know Captain.. but she had a purpose, though I can’t begin to tell you what it was.”

“She planned this didn’t she.. That’s why she left Reed to bring you the data.”
Jon replied waiving a pointed finger in the air.

“Obviously.. Captain. We can only trust that she knows what she is doing. Vulcans don’t give up their lives for no reason. They have very strong instincts for self preservation.”

“They also believe the needs of the many out weigh the needs of the few or the one.” Archer paced. “Damn I should have known something like this might happen.”

Phlox shot him a questioning glance. “You should have known Captain?”

“Trip’s in there dying, of course she’d be at his side. Haven’t you noticed their closeness lately, especially during our time in the expanse.”

“But that time brought everyone closer, Captain. Why should they be any….?”
The good doctor’s voice trailed off. As if remembering a key, he turned and went to the monitor again.

Looking closely he studied the bodies of all three and found Commander Tucker’s moving a bit. He checked the vital signs of the two humans and found they were returning to normal.

“Commander Tucker” Phlox shouted into the inter com. “Commander Tucker, wake up!” he repeated.

“Want to clue me in on this one Doctor?” Archer now standing behind the short man’s shoulder.

“Commander Tucker. Wake up now!” Phlox turned and looked at the scans of the Vulcan readings. They were almost none existent.

“Captain.. I think I know why T’Pol went into the decon chamber.”
Archer stood there waiting to hear this one.

“She went in to take the virus onto herself, away from them…” he added to help illustrate his point.

“Other than getting infected herself, how could she take their virus from them?” Archer was more perplexed than ever.

“There is a lot about Vulcan mysticism I don’t know, but I ran across an interesting talent Vulcan’s possess when Commander Tucker was injured.”
Phlox again addressed the speaker.

“Commander Tucker, Wake Up Now!” he turned back to the Captain.

“I couldn’t understand why the Commanders injuries didn’t kill him and how he was able to be sustained for so long in stasis. His recovery was a pure miracle even by Denobulan standards.” He watched the monitor as he saw another movement from the young blond man.

“Commander, I said get up.” Phlox’s tone was loud and commanding. The engineer stirred.

“All right I’m up mom….you don’t gotta yell.” Trip threw off the covers and drowsily sat up.

“Every evening,” The short man continued. “T’Pol would stop in for a progress check on the commander’s condition. She would then ask to sit with him for a brief period, which usually ended up being most of the night.” Phlox checked Trips progress, saw he was still wiping the sleep from his eyes, then continued.

“I noticed that she kept one hand on his chest above his heart with her palm extended flat against his bare skin. I though this odd since Vulcan’s shy away from any contact due to the overwhelming emotions they are subjected to by touch.”

“Commander Tucker… I am not telling you again. Get up now!”

“Aye I captain!” A very drunk Trip fell off the bunk and onto the floor with a thud.

“Go on Doctor. She would sit with him.. What was wrong with that, they are friends.” Archer turned his colleague back to the point at hand.

“Every time she came his life signs were ebbing. And every time she left they were more stabilized. This led me to do some research and found that Vulcans can support other life forms using their own autonomic nervous system.”

“In affect, she kept Trip alive till the transplant.” The captain was getting the gist of this conversation now.

“I don’t know the extent of her abilities, but I think she went in to buy them both more time. Look Captain, their vital signs are just about back to normal.”

The Captain looked at the monitor and took the little man’s word for the readings.
“What about hers?” he asked nervously.

“They are almost non existent. I am afraid she is dying Captain.” With that tears welled in the aliens eyes.

“Would she stand the treatment?” Archer reminded him of the work T’Pol did before going in.

“In her present state Captain, I don’t know. Vulcans are stronger and more resilient than humans when it comes to radiation therapies. ‘It’s important that we..”

“Hey what the…” Trip scratched his head and looked around the blue violet room.
Quickly he noticed the body curled up in the corner. He went to inspect it.

“T’Pol..” he replied in horror. “What the hell is she doing here.” Trip quickly groped for a pulse and found only a weak, thready one.

“Trip. “ The Captain’s voice came over the inter com. “How is she?”

“Cap’n… she’s not good. I can’t tell if she is breathing and I think she’s loosing her pulse too. What the hell is she doing in here!” his tone was accusatory as if Archer may have order her in.

“I don’t have time to explain.” Archer paused for a moment. “We need to get T’Pol to sickbay now. How do we go about doing that and not contaminating every one else?”

“I don’t know Cap’n? “ He was too upset to speak. Trip lifted T’Pol’s body into his arms and laid her onto the cushion where he had been.

“Well figure it out Commander… You are the Engineer here!” Archer’s tone was past angry to challenging.

“I guess we could bypass the primary couplings, seal off the airtight doors in a direct route to sickbay. That should work” Trip stroked the hair from her face and saw her usual green hue much paler than ever before.

“Great I’ll get an EV suit and be down in a minute.” Archer headed for the door when he was stopped.

“That will take too much time Cap’n. Seal the area and I’ll bring her to sickbay myself. You guys suit up.”

“Commander, may I remind you, you’re just getting over the effects of the virus.” The Denobulan was cut off by the young man’s words.

“Forget it doc, just seal up the area and garb up 'cause we’re on our way.” With that Trip picked up the limp body of his beloved and started for the door. After a brief moment the door slid open and let him pass.

Chapter Four

Breaking into a run, Trip made the usual 7 minute walk in less than three. Upon entering Sickbay he saw Phlox and the captain in isolation garb. Trip deposited T’Pol’s limp body onto a bio-bed and stepped back to let the good doctor work his magic.

The readings were even grimmer than before. The doctor was at a lost. Certainly a radiation treatment now would kill the young woman. He injected her neck with a number of various potions and the readings didn’t change.

Trip was standing beside the Captain, getting more and more agitated.
“What the hell was she doing in there with us. How did she get in there anyway. Did she contaminate the whole ship?”

Archer steadied him. “She used the transporter to beam herself in.”

“What….that’s insane… Nobody can beam themselves somewhere, let alone somewhere inside this ship. You are mistaken.. “ Trip was more agitated than ever.

“She modified the beam and added a delay so she could beam herself in.” Archer answered

“Why!!”

“She went in to take the virus from you and Hoshi” Phlox interrupted.

Trip was more perplexed than ever. Archer looked at the doctor then explained.

“Apparently Vulcans can do that. They don’t let everyone know, but it’s within their scope of abilities and they only do so in dire situations.”

Trip looked at the small body on the bio-bed. “She took the virus on herself?”

“It’s not the first time, commander. Your accident last year, I didn’t realize until just before you transplant that she was coming in and boosting you life support with her own. You most likely would have died before the transplant could have been performed.” The short doctor turned to T’Pol’s limp body.

“I am afraid she has slipped so low that even I can’t get her back.” His voice held saddened realization.

“No Way! No Way is she gonna do this… There has to be something you can do Doc.” Trip gripped the front of his isolation garb.

“I’m sorry Commander. She was in there too long. Her vital signs are too weak to be boosted by anything I have.” The doctor trailed off in defeat.

“Wait…. You said she boosted my vital signs…. How? How’d she do that??”
Trip was grasping at straws.

“Commander, humans don’t have the ability to boost a Vulcan’s life support. I’m sorry, truly sorry.”

“Maybe not.. “ Archer’s thoughts were out loud. “But Vulcans have a remarkable instinct for self preservation….” He looked at the doctor side ways.

“Humm... “ Phlox moved to open the front of the woman’s uniform.
“Give me your hand Commander..” He chose Trip because he was the only one not wearing gloves.

Phlox placed his hand on her sternum just above her the curvature of her breasts, pressing it flat and hard onto her skin.

“Don’t loose contact, Commander.” He ordered while turning to look at the readings on the scanner.

Trip looked down into that lovely face. The brighter light of sickbay showed just how pale the young woman had gotten. Her usual faint green hue was a pale beige. Her lips and under her eyes held a evergreen color that reminded him of the Andorians he saw laying in sickbay after their battle with the Vulcans. Her features sunk into her face as if trying to escape the pain she must be feeling.

A moment passed, then another. The readings were unchanged and hardly a breath was taken. Her body seemed lifeless and all Trip Tucker could do was pray that she would not leave him again.

“Anything?” the captain asked restlessly

The good doctor just shook his head.

God no T’Pol… Please don’t leave me again. It was bad enough watching you marry Koss… but not to have you in my life.. That I can’t live with. Not caring who saw, Trip lowered his head to hers. He placed a gentle kiss on her lips then rested his head lightly against the soft brown strands. Several small tears rolled off his cheek and onto her pale, sallow skin.

A breath, slightly deeper than the rest registered first with him. Initially Trip thought he was imagining it, but then another came after it. The breathing, although slow became a bit more regular. The young man looked up hoping to see her eyes spring open. Archer crouched behind Trip’s shoulder looking for the same. Phlox turned to his scanners and started registering the data.

“T’Pol” A weak Tucker whispered into her elegantly pointed ear.

No change, and both men looked to Phlox for encouragement. He was too busy getting readings.

“T’Pol” Trip tried again and felt her move under his hand. A cough maybe, he thought. Who cares?, It’s life… Trip gripped her hand with his free one.

“Well… Doctor?” Archer was tired of this guessing game.

“The readings are a bit more stable, but not enough to go into radiation yet. Just hold tight and keep on doing what I told you.” The captain felt almost dismissed by that statement.

“You got it doc, “ Trip replied. “ I’m goin’ anywhere.”

Trip leaned in again and rested his lips lightly on her forehead. Although no one knew officially about their time together, he didn’t care what the rumor mill would say.

You ever pull a stunt like this again and I’m telling Soval on you….. Trip thought about saying that aloud, but kept it to himself, or so he thought.

T’Pol fingers flickered. Trip lifted his head to find her eyes opened just slightly and a look of defiance in her gaze.

You heard that didn’t you? Trip had often been told that Vulcans were secretly reading everyone’s mind and not to trust your thoughts around them.

Let’s see if that is true… I love you T’Pol…. He watched her to gage a response. Those eyes, he adored softened a bit, blinked twice then closed again.

Trip let out a huge sigh of relief. She would be okay.

“All right Commander” the Denobulan grasped at Trip’s hand and removed it from her breast bone. “She is stable enough to get radiation now.”

Saying that, the bio-bed slide past them all and rolled into the imaging chamber.
“Let’s see to your injuries” He continued softly.

Archer went to the com and ordered Mr. Reed to suit up and retrieve the sleeping communications officer and bring her to sick bay as well. With a quick acknowledgement the armory officer was off to decon.

Chapter Five

After about 25 minutes the bio-bed containing T’Pol slid from the radiation treatment. Dr. Phlox and 2 medics took hold of the stretcher like contraption she laid on and moved it to the far side of sickbay, away from the rest of the animals, Hoshi and the onlookers.

Phlox ran several scans and found the virus to indeed be gone, however some of his readings didn’t please him in the least. Trip, seeing her immerge from the chamber was at her side. Helping the crew carry her across the room, the good doctor had to several times elbow the young man out of the way to do his work.

Captain Archer, who hadn’t left sickbay the entire time, watched his best friend trying to stay near. He wondered just how close they had become and how he could have missed it until now.

“Well doctor?” Archer sought to break the nervous silence

Phlox went to his side and in a low tone returned his question. “The virus is gone Captain, however....” His tone grew quieter.

“However?”, the captain was less ginger in his tone which drew the attention of the over zealous engineer.

“She is extremely weakened. Possibly due to being somewhat diminished when she went into decon in the first place.” The doctor shot Archer a knowing look.

“The Pa’nar”, he murmured, not realizing his volume.

Phlox gave his senior officer a warning stare, but all too late

“Pa’nar” Trip advanced towards the two. “What’s a Pa’nar?”

The silence that returned only served to agitate the young man.
“What the hell is wrong with her….! How long has she been sick! Why won’t you tell me!” He demanded.

The good doctor laid a hand on his shoulder. “I can’t discuss that with you Commander”

“What do you mean you can’t discuss that with me?” he advanced even louder.

“Trip” the captain interjected. “The doctor has his ethics. The doctor patient confidentiality, it has to take priority.”

“You know!…How do you know?...” Trip was now spitting his words. “You don’t have any obligations to keep this from me.”

“Yes I do... I have an obligation to T’Pol as her commanding officer and her friend” Archer tried to calm him down. “Trip, I promised I wouldn’t speak of this with anyone outside of her and the doctor.”

Feeling slightly betrayed, Trip turned reluctantly back to face T’Pol. He poured over his thoughts, looking for clues to her illness. Her hands did shake at times, he thought, but that was just stress, wasn’t it. And she did get a bit emotional at times for a Vulcan, but she told me that was from her lack of meditation. He kicked himself. Had he missed her illness all this time.

He remained silently by her side for many hours hearing that term over and over in his mind. “Pa’nar” When he could no longer stand, the doctor sent him to his quarters for rest.

Chapter Six

Rest didn’t come and long moments later found Trip in engineering at his desk console.

PE…. No PA ..Pa’nar, that’s the one I want he searched through the Vulcan Data Base and found what he believed was the point of their earlier conversation.

Pa’Nar Syndrome He clicked the key and saw the elegant Vulcan script start to flow in a downward pattern on the screen. With another press of the universal translator button, the English text appeared to the right side of the viewer.

Trip started reading with great apprehension:

Pa’nar Syndrome: A degenerative neuro-motor disease common only to Vulcans who perform mind melds. It affects the neuro- motor synapses, causing them to block intermittent signals. This results in a lost of proper motor coordination, balance issues and may progress to auto-immune and respiratory drive deficiencies resulting in death.

Resulting in Death? Trip reread that part in horror. His mind was reeling with even more questions. Questions he knew the doctor and captain wouldn’t answer.

How the hell did she get it. Did I give it to her when she supported me?
He struggle trying to reason out the answers.

That can’t be. The screen says only Vulcans get it and what the hell is a mind meld anyway?

Trip sat motionless for hours trying to make sense of this new knowledge. When he could no longer stand his own thoughts, he begrudgingly went to his quarters and passed out across his bunk. His dreams were filled with the horrible facts he had learned.

Several more hours passed and Trip awoke with a moderate headache and wet irritated eyes. He hit the intercom and called to sickbay for a progress report.

“Cutler here,” came the voice from the box. Trip hesitated a moment then threw caution to the wind. “Cutler, I’m calling for an update on T’Pol’s condition.”

“T’Pol’s condition? “ the young woman sounded a bit confused. “Commander, T’Pol isn’t in sickbay. Was she ill?”

“What do you mean she’s not there? Where is Phlox?” Trip hurried to get his boots on, balancing on one foot while holding the com button.

“I’m just coming on Commander. The doctor stepped out before I arrived. I was told he should return shortly.”

Trip hurried to sickbay, his mind a whirl over the latest developments. Had he dreamed all this? He quickened his pace and hit the doors like a race horse bursting through the gate. By this time Phlox had returned.

Searching the room, Trip found no evidence of T’Pol’s whereabouts. “Where is she!” He snorted less than politely.

“Calm down Commander. I have released T’Pol to her quarters. It’s less noisy there and she can rest. I will be checking in on her intermittently.”

“You released her?…she’s too sick to be released.. What about the Pa’Nar?” Trip didn’t realize his tone which silenced everyone on duty.

“Commander” Phlox started, taking the young man by the arm and leading him to the door. “I don’t think you should be blurting out things like that. I assure you that T’Pol will rest better in her quarters and she has promised me to call if she runs into any difficulty. Now, Good day!” With that a rather ruffled doctor gave the blond haired man a substantial shove into the corridor.


Chapter Seven

Trip lost no time making his way to her quarters. He rang the door chime and found no answer. Without a second thought he entered the security code, his thumb print and entered the room. There at her desk sat T’Pol. She seemed smaller than he remembered her to be and she was shivering hunched over in the chair.

“What are you doing out of bed?”, he chided moving to her side immediately.

“Commander, what are you doing here?” T’Pol managed her voice shaky from the force of the shivering.

“What am I doing here. What are you doing here, you should be in sickbay. I’m calling Phlox” Trip reached across her for the com button and a trembling hand stopped him.

“I was brought to my cabin to rest. I am about to do just that.”

“What sitting up in a chair?” Trip felt her hands, they were like ice. He moved to touch her cheek and it too reflected her hypothermic state. “You’re freezing!” The young man moved to the bed and pulled the cover to wrap around her.

She allowed this, clasping the ends of the blanket weakly in her shaking hands. “I will be fine Trip, please do not concern yourself with me.” She continued to shake.

“What do you mean don’t concern myself. Lady you got a lot to learn about humans, especially boyfriends.” He began rubbing her shoulders to try and generate some heat.

Boyfriends? The term was unclear to her. Yes Trip was a male and they were friends, but why he would put those two particular descriptions together puzzled her.

“What you need is a good hot shower!” he stated, moving toward the bathroom

“I do not need a shower Commander. I will be fine momentarily.” Her voice held a determined tendency.

“I beg to differ with you, but you need to get some heat. Unless you want to return to sickbay and get back into the imaging chamber for a few hours, this is the only way you are gonna get it.” Trip left the room and started the water running.

“I said I’m not taking a shower.” She repeated more miffed than Vulcans would normally allow.

“Like hell you aren’t” he returned her attitude with human stubbornness.

“You need help getting up?” Trip offered her a hand. She simply looked at it in distain.

“Are right then, do it yourself, but your getting in there if I have to carry you.”

Something registered with him from the reading and his tone began to soften.
“You can’t walk can you?” That evoked a sudden surprised look from the small woman.

“That’s why your sitting here shivering. You couldn’t make it to your bed, much less the shower.” Trip felt his anger turn to sadness. “It’s the Pa’Nar?”

T’Pol sat stunned at his insight. How had he known? What did he know about the syndrome?

Seeing her concern, Trip bent down on one knee in front of her. “Don’t worry, they didn’t wanna tell me, it just slipped out and I happened to be standing there. We’ve all been so worried about you.”

T’Pol saw the tears welling in his eyes, tears he tried bravely to hold back for her sake. She resisted the desire to show her dismay at the betrayal.

“Why didn’t you tell me… How long have you known? I might have been able to help you.” His questions trailed out one by one.

“This is nothing for you to be concerned about. It’s not contagious and I’ve had it for a while.” Her eyes averted his gaze. “Doctor Phlox has been treating me...”

Trip pulled her eyes to his again. “I’m not worried about catching it. I just don’t like you being sick. I wanna help.” He smiled warmly. “That’s what boyfriends do, Human ones anyway.”

T’Pol lost herself a moment in his eyes then shivered as her already cool body grew colder.

“Lets get you warm first and we can talk about this later.” Without another word Trip picked T’Pol up in his arms and carried her into the bathroom. Setting her down on a small chair, he checked the water and then started to get undressed.

Once the commander had removed his clothes, he turned to undressing her. T’Pol sat weak and non resistant as the layers of her uniform hit the floor. With another gentle scoop, Trip walked both of them into the shower area.

The warmth of the water entered her body as he placed her feet on the grating.

“Just hold on around my neck” He instructed and held her body close against his. Gently the young man rocked her back and forth under the heated stream, allowing it to massage her stiff unyielding joints into relaxation.

“Warm enough?” he whispered coaxing her head to rest on his shoulder. She nodded and felt a gasp of air escape her nose and mouth.

More softly the rocking became, as if she were being lulled to sleep by this dashing man before he.

“Feeling better?”, again just a whisper.

The nod she returned was accompanied by a brief weakness in her knees. Trip compensated immediately by drawing her tighter in his arms. “Hold on to me” his caring words drew deep into her soul.

Warmth was penetrating the cold and T’Pol could feel herself slipping into a slight meditative state. She did not fight the feeling, allowing it to help mend all the less than functioning pathways. She grew submissive allowing this man to care for her.

Trip relaxed as well, feeling the smooth skin beneath his fingers come back to life. He moved his hands gently up and down her back trying to ease some of the stiffness he found there. Her skin was warm and inviting, soft as silk. Any other time, this moment could easily turn into another of those “Explorations” as T’Pol would call it, but he remembered the circumstances and put all thoughts of intimacy aside for now.

Many minutes later found Trip lifting T’Pol onto the chair. He wrapped a larger than normal towel around her torso and placed another over her shoulders so she would not have any skin exposed to the air around them.

“You okay there a moment?” he bent to look at her directly in the eyes and saw a soft acknowledgement.

Drying off and dressing himself, Trip left the room to turn down the bed. Before returning he called out from just outside the door frame.

“Where do you keep your PJs?” with that he stuck his head in the doorway.

“PJ’s?” her look was questioning.

“You know. Your pajamas?, night gowns?.. the clothes you sleep in..?” Trip puzzled to find a term the Vulcan could understand.

Straightening a bit, she replied. “Vulcans don’t wear pajamas.. the climate is too hot for clothes at night.”.. she paused and registered a surprised look on the young man’s face. “I however sleep in my lounging outfits because I may have crew stop by during off hours.”

Who have you got stopping by at night…. Besides me.. Who else comes to your quarters?... Trip’s face twisted a moment then straightened.

“All right, where do you keep your lounging outfits then?”

“Top Drawer, left hand side” Her face was blank and non revealing.

Trip went to the drawer and removed what he thought was a blue satin two piece, but saw it was only one. Assuming it was similar to a nightgown, he took it and returned to the bathroom.

“Here this will be easier for you to get into.” He commented unfolding the formfitting dress like article.

“That is not a lounging item.. It’s an under garment of sorts. It’s not made for sleeping in.” She drew the towel closer around her shoulders feeling the chill of the recycled air.

“Well it is now.” Trip hurried to slip it over the young woman’s head before she could protest further.

Wrapping the blanket back around her, Trip carried T’Pol into the main room and over to the bed. He placed her far back against the wall and began covering her. He then slipped beneath the covers himself much to T’Pol’s surprise.

“Commander?” she questioned.

“Body heat, didn’t they teach you anything Vulcan basic training. Besides you don’t look all that strong. I figured I could plug back in and give you a bit more support.” He turned on his side and put his hand in the air.

“Now show me where I need to put this.” The question was both surprising and inviting.

“I’m fine Trip..” she started and was cut off immediately.

“ Can you walk, … stand even? You are far from fine..” Trip waved his hand again. “Where does this go?.. Tell me or I will have to figure it out for myself.”

T’Pol, realized the commander wouldn’t stop until he was helping. Determining there was no use in trying to protest, weakly she turned on her side to face him.

“It would be more effective if I drew from you. Please lie on your back.”

Trip complied.. “All right now what?”

Slipping beneath his adjacent arm, the small woman eased her body up against his. Her hand moved slowly up under his shirt and found a resting place on his breast bone. She then rested her head on his shoulder and bent her knee to rest on one of his thighs.

“Are you comfortable?” she asked in a softer tone.

“I’m great… you getting what you need this way?” a soft nod came in response.

Trip grasped the end of the blankets and pulled them closer around her neck. He leaned he head to rest on hers, hoping to share a quiet moment of reassurance with her. Once or twice his lips brushed a soft kiss on her forehead until he found a comfortable position.

“Get some rest.. Phlox will be here soon enough to check on you.”

A moment passed. “Thank you.” a whisper brushed across his neck.

He returned a soft smile. “I love you too.... Now rest.”

Both fell off into a light sleep, warm, comfortable and feeling so safe for once.

Chapter Eight

T’Pol awoke to find Trip coming out of the bathroom with just a towel around his waist. He noted her sleepy gaze and whispered.

“Sorry darlin', didn’t mean to wake you. Go back to sleep. Your shift doesn’t start of several hours yet.”

With that he drew clothes from one of her dresser drawers and laid them down atop the desk. Picking up a brush, he ran it through his wet locks and slicked the wild mop into position. T’Pol watched questioningly.

I appreciate his help in getting me better, but when did he take the liberty of moving his things in… she puzzled and continue to watch.

Surprising to her, in the next moment Trip dropped the towel and stood without modesty before her picking through his clothes to find his undergarments. He dressed without notice of her gaze and gave his hair another once over with the brush.

Where am I? a strange sense ran through her being. A feeling more than a thought and she didn’t know what to make of it. Her features turned disoriented.

Trip moved over to the bed. Bending down and giving her a gentle but passionate kiss, he started then noticed her dismay.

“The cap’n has a water polo match he wants me to see… you okay? You’re looking a bit confused. Bad dream again?” He sat gently on the edge of the bed and addressed her.

“No, I don’t think so…” she shook her head to clear some of the fogginess.

“Well you have been a bit discombobulated since our little vacation.. If you ask me, I think it’s the hormones Phlox has got you on…” he wiped the bangs back out of her face. “You said it yourself that Vulcans prompt their bodies to make their own medicine because the chemical kind really just turns their stomachs.”

“Vulcan’s don’t take vacations.” She muttered trying to make sense of things.

“All right what do you want to call our little two weeks of emergency leave? You know the leave we had to take cause you tried to take me on top of the warp reactor that night.” Trip chuckled a bit at the memory. “ Good thing it was in the middle of night shift and only a few saw you knock me down.

He gauged her look and continued. “You know… I think you should stop by and see Phlox… Maybe the dose on those hormones is getting to you.”

“What vacation… What hormones?” she started a bit more agitated.

“You know that Pon Farr thing or as I like to call it One hell of a seven year itch.” he smirked then straightened… “That’s it,.. I’ll call off the game with the Cap’n and go with you to sickbay. Get up and get dressed”

“No… I’ll check in with the doctor.. You go watch the game.” T’Pol needed time to sort things out. His reactions only served to make the circumstances more confusing.

“You sure? I don’t mind and I’m sure the Cap’n will…”

“Go.... I’m fine.” She returned.

Another quick look into her features and Trip decided to let her be. A good southern gentleman knows when a woman needs her space. He turned once more and kissed her gently. “Let me know you’re okay..” He ordered and she acknowledged with a soft nod.

With that Trip left the quarters, leaving a bewildered T’Pol to wonder what had happened in a space of a few hours. She pondered a while then decided to take her friend’s advice and visit Dr. Phlox.

Chapter Nine

Phlox was busying himself feeding his menagerie of eclectic pets, or as most of the crew call it… the zoo. He stopped over each cage and made assorted animal noises as if he could communicate directly with the creatures themselves. A few droppings of food here, a few more there and he would then move on to the next cage. It was middle of the evening and most of the day crew had long since gone. Phlox being Denobulan didn’t require rest periods like the humans. Most times he was the only off shift crewman on duty. This was one of those evenings. T’Pol entered the room through the double doors. Phlox looked up as she drew closer.

“Ah, Mrs. Tucker… what can I do for you this evening.”, he mused. A little running joke some of the senior officers had been pulling since she and Trip returned from their honeymoon on Vulcan two and a half years ago.

“I beg your pardon” T’Pol’s tone was that of offense, when really she didn’t understand what he meant by that comment.

The doctor backed off and corrected himself. “My apologies. Just trying out a bit of human levity. Can I do something for you Sub Commander?” The title stuck with the crew even though she hadn’t held that rank for years. Not since she resigned her commission to go into the Expanse with the Enterprise crew.

T’Pol straightened and stiffened her voice. “Trip tells me I have been on some kind of hormone. Can you tell me more of its affects?”

Phlox smiled a knowing grin and began to review the young woman’s medical treatment with her.

“This hormone he is referring to is far from that. It’s actually a ionic, cell conversion formula.” He looked for understanding in her eyes and found none.

“The formula you gave me just after you and Trip got back from Vulcan over two years ago. You said that T’Pol….. Well the other T’Pol gave it to you as part of a journal she had been keeping.” He continued to look for remembrance.

“This journal had many entries in it… She gave it to you to help you deal with the Trellium-D damage. It was to be a guide to help you navigate the hard times a head.”

T’Pol stood speechless. She remembered the conversation the two women had and how awkward it was to be seeing herself so far in the future. She also remembered her distress over finding out that the emotions would never stop challenging her control. She didn’t however remember anything about a formula or journal entries. Just that she should rely on Trip to help her through it.

“I gave you this formula?” she asked sheepishly her eyes searching the floor for clues.

“Yes.... You said you found these entries on the pad she gave you with the magnetic-ion particle collector specs. You assumed she included them with the diagrams to help you once you got through the mess with the Xindi. You didn’t give them to me until after you and Trip married because you weren’t sure that the procedure T’Pau performed on you would get rid of your Pa’Nar symptoms.”

Trip and I are married? Her mind was a whirl.

“But you’re cured now and have been for years. You brought me the specs on the formula because you wanted to start taking the medicine.” Phlox rested a hand on the young woman’s shoulder as if knowing his words were confusing her.

“You said that you were really too young to start thinking about children, but Commander Tucker didn’t want to be 50 yrs old having his first child.”

T’Pol leaned back onto a bio-bed near where she had been standing. Seeing her distress, the doctor pulled a hand held scanner from his waist pocket and started a broad spectrum analysis. His features remained flat as he read the data coming through.

“Have you been feeling okay?” He questioned trying to ascertain the cause of her dismayed appearance.

“I don’t know Doctor?” she replied weakly. “ It would seem that my memory isn’t functioning properly.”

“You are having lapses?” he asked with a coy smirk forming.

“More than just lapses.” She shifted uncomfortably then.

Hunger….Hunger again came a presence, not a thought but a communication none the less.

“It would seem the Pa’Nar or the Trellium injuries have resurfaced. I am having difficulty remembering things and I think I may be starting to experience hallucinations… at least voices in my head type of…”

T’Pol became increasing more emotional and seemed as though panic may be trying to take over her control. Phlox stopped her with a mild pat on her shoulder.

“It’s not Trellium or Pa’Nar T’Pol. My readings are clear on that. It’s just ordinary perception swings common to female Vulcans during pregnancy”

Pregnancy?..... What... I am pregnant. How? … When?…. A barrage of questions entered her mind and she showed the doctor a very confused stare.

“Yes.. it would seem the formula T’Pol… the other T’Pol gave you was correct.” The portly Denobulan flashed a smile larger than Saturn’s rings at his ultimate accomplishment. “This is a good thing. No need to look so concerned. I estimate you to be 3 weeks along. That would coincide with your last mating cycle. Just think, less than six months from now you’ll be a proud parent of a ….” He ran another scan. “Healthy baby boy.”

The young Vulcan remained speechless. Two seconds later through the doors burst Commander Tucker looking confused and excited all at the same time. He went to his wife and looked her directly in the eye.

“Did I hear you right? We’re pregnant?” T’Pol turned her glance at him realizing if they were indeed married, then he would have heard everything through their bond. She didn’t answer right away and Trip turned to the doctor for confirmation.

Phlox just smiled and nodded, then politely excused himself to let them have a moment alone.

Trip took T’Pol in his arms and hugged her vigorously. Excited by the news, he could hardly hold back the tears.

“This is wonderful… Is it a boy or a girl?” He looked to her then realized that history had to be repeating itself. “It’s a boy isn’t it. It’s Lorian, he’s
on his way.” Again another hug and a flood of kisses followed.

“Yes it appears to be” T’Pol studied his features and found through their bond a host of emotions she hadn’t picked up on. There were immensely strong feelings of love and happiness. Feelings she had never taken the time to experience herself. Most of all was a great feeling of security, like the emotions from the past had finally been put in their proper place.

She looked into his eyes and found incredible joy and caring, all of which was directed at her and suddenly she didn’t dwell so much on the circumstance that had confused her earlier. Just letting herself be lost in the feelings was all she cared to do now.

Hunger.. Hunger… Again the urges came and she realized it was Lorian who even now was trying to communicate through their new found bond.


Chapter Ten

“Drink your juice.” Trip ordered her placing the glass before the young woman. “It’s good for you.”

“It’s full of sugar.” She retorted and held it up for closer inspection.

“Listen, just drink it.... We have this conversation every morning and I always win.” Trip lifted the tray from her lap and T’Pol almost dropped the glass as she glanced down.

Her normally svelte body had grown a large rounded bulge at it’s mid-
section. A bulge that resembled the water polo ball the Captain was always throwing against his cabin walls. Trip caught the glass and steadied it in her hand.
“Look it won’t be long now and after you finish breastfeeding you don’t have to drink anymore juice, okay.” He wiped a bit of the juice that had splashed on her lap, then rubbed her belly in a soft and tender fashion.

“How’s my guy doing” he added, then waited for his morning response. It was quick, as a hard jab came through the flesh to meet his hand. “That’s my little man.” Trip chuckled and moved to finish collecting the breakfast dishes. He turned back to T’Pol with a full tray and leaned down for a kiss.

“I’ll be right back, I’m just gonna run these down to the galley for Chef.” he leaned into her mouth softly and smiled as he drew away. “Now drink your juice.” his last words to her as he walked through the sliding door.

T’Pol remained stunned. It was just a moment ago she was in sickbay getting the news of her marriage and pregnancy. Now here she was obviously further than three weeks along. How… What is going on here?

She tried to reason the events when another sharp jab came through her abdomen. Placing her hand at the source she felt a warm wave come over her consciousness. Mother !

Although the word wasn’t precise the thought was clear and resonating. Again T’Pol over come by the realization, stopped trying to understand the confusion and simply honed in on the life she felt moving inside her. She closed her eyes and concentrated deeply on the warm feelings it was sending her way.


Opening her eyes again, she found herself on a bio-bed in sickbay, a rather excited husband chanting the same phrase over and over again.

“Push T’Pol.. Push” Trip stood at her head holding her forward in a hunched position while Doctor Phlox’s curly locks peered up through the distance between her knees. The sickbay was dimly lit and the curtains
drawn, however T’Pol could feel the emotions of several others just beyond the linen sheeting.

Then suddenly a sharp pain brought her attentions back to the coarse at hand. She instinctively followed her nature and bared down with all her might. With only a couple more attempts, the baby Lorian was in the good doctor’s waiting hands. Everyone in sickbay stood breathless awaiting the one sound they knew would bring peace of mind.

A deep breath and a resounding cry cut through the air and with it came a wave of happy voices and laughter. The doctor looked the small child over and wiped away the traces of greenish goop that covered him. Wrapping the baby in a soft metallic blanket, Phlox handed him to the Commander to present to his wife. The good doctor then left to inform the Captain and officers waiting outside the parameter.

With tears in his eyes, Trip looked down into the small impish face. Deep blue eyes were open wide, and taking in every aspect of his dad’s appearance.

“My god, T’Pol... he’s magnificent.” a noticeably overwhelmed husband laid his young son into it’s mother’s waiting arms.

T’Pol studied the tiny features, noting the ever distinct ears that were oh so Vulcan. Inhaling, she took a long drawl of it’s musky scent. Committed to memory the resonating essence as it reached to connect with her mind.
Mother...

Through their bond, Trip could feel her mind soften as she looked into the young infant’s eyes. He could feel a lot of what she was receiving, if only second hand from her. Stepping to face them both, Trip looked down at the two of them and thought how wonderful this moment truly was. He leaned over and began playing with his child as mom counted the fingers and toes.

Moments later a ship wide announcement could be heard everywhere.

“Attention all hands. I’d like to take this time to announce a new addition to our crew. Lorian Tucker, born at 4:02AM this date. Weighing in at 5 lbs 2 ½ ounces. 16.5 inches long. Mom, Dad and baby all doing well.” The Captain’s voice trailed off and T’Pol focused only on her new found family.

Chapter Eleven

Hoshi sat rocking the three month old child. Lorian hadn’t been any trouble, not a whimper one. The silken haired linguist couldn’t help but feel the strong connection this child had with anyone around it. His eyes were so wide, and his intelligence could be seen through his actions. As if even at this young age, this child had something he was trying to communicate. She was to watch him for a few more hours and sat captivated by his mesmerizing gaze.

T’Pol came into her cabin and took the young woman by surprise.

“I thought you were on duty for a few more hours, sub commander?” she stood and carried the baby to it’s mother.

“I am, but I took a break to come down and feed Lorian.” She studied her child, his condition taking into account any abnormality.

“Oh so you have him on a strict schedule?” Hoshi puzzled. “He doesn’t seem hungry, he hasn’t cried or anything.”

“He doesn’t cry..” she returned, which confused the Asian woman all the more.

“We are connected telepathically. If I don’t respond to him within a reasonable time, then I suppose he would cry.” she started to change his diaper. “But since I already know what he wants, I simply take care of his needs before he has a reason to cry.”

“So you and he can communicate?” the young woman asked with great interest.

“Yes.... Don’t human babies get their needs through to their parents?” T’Pol finished changing Lorian and moved to the bed.

“I guess, but not this efficiently. It’s usually by trial and error that they finally get their needs met.” Hoshi watched as T’Pol began to feed her child.

T’Pol looked blankly up at the young woman admiring her parent skills. “I can remain here until Commander Tucker finishes his shift. You may go.” She dismissed her bluntly then remembered. “And thank you for watching him.”

Hoshi smiled at that revision. Commander Tucker has really rubbed off on her.

Hoshi turned and walked toward the door. “You’re welcome Sub Commander.... any time... he’s such a good baby.”

With that she left and T’Pol continued bonding with her son. As he fed, she could feel his telling glances at her and concentrated harder to get a clue to what he was saying.

Happy Warm Mother!

Broken impressions, but communication none the less. The bond flowed deep and strong between the two. It warmed her soul at its’ deepest levels in a way that she thought only her feelings for Trip could do.

Dad walked into the room, wiping some grease from his hands on a rag. He took note of T’Pol feeding the baby and came to sit beside the two.

“How’s my little guy doin' today? You gotta a smile for your old man?”
Trips southern drawl always elicited a huge grin and T’Pol could feel his recognition as a familiar and happy stimulus.

Father, she focused back to her son through their bond.

“See... He knows me..” Trip said with glee as he saw the wide toothless grin on his little cherub face.

They both sat watching as their son nursed his fill. Then dad removed himself to the shower as T’Pol sat back resting the baby on her shoulder. She closed her eyes and breathed in the scent that told her the child was content and healthy.


Opening her eyes, T’Pol found herself on the bridge during her shift. The monitors around her hummed softly, not revealing any dangers or potential ones in site. The shift crew was sparse with Hoshi at dinner, and the Captain in his ready room. She now only shared the bridge with Lieutenant Reed and Ensign Mayweather, both sitting at their stations reviewing the various monitors and readouts, as quiet as hers had been.
The turbo lift doors opened and out stepped Trip holding a now 18 month old Lorian in his arms. His blondish white hair cut in human style and his dark blue eyes lightening, the child gave the impression of a small wood nymph instead of a growing toddler. T’Pol’s eyes drew right to their presence and her thoughts turned away from the controls in front of her.

“Hey look... There’s mommy....” Trip pointed in T’Pol’s direction and this alerted the other gentlemen to the scene at hand.

“Hi Mommy.” Trip picked up the child’s hand and waved it at his somewhat flustered wife. Moving around to the science station, Trip handed him over to her and watched the two interact.

“What’s the matter?” she asked flatly, turning her attention toward the bond between her and her young son. She listened a long moment and found no wants or desires in it.

Mother! Happy Father! Happy

“Nothing’s the matter.” Trip replied. “Just thought since it was quiet, I’d bring him up and let him see where his mommy worked.” He wore a broad grin in that he knew T’Pol preferred to be called Mother.

Reed and Mayweather turned in their seats, watching the family interaction.

“Oh before I forget. You got a communiqué from the Vulcan High Council. I think it’s from Soval. But my Vulcan is still a bit rusty.” He handed the disk over to her and in exchange took Lorian from her arms. Popping it into her console, T’Pol searched the message for it’s content. Meanwhile Trip circled the room, stopping at both Reed's and Mayweather’s stations to let them greet his son.

“My, he is really growing” Reed’s British accent made him sound quite proper. Trip noticed his friend keeping his distance and decided to chime in.

“He’s a baby Malcolm, he’s not gonna bite.” Trip placed his son onto the armory officer’s nervous lap then moved back a step to watch the comedy to follow. There sitting on his lap, Malcolm found a very inquisitive and gentle lad. His big eyes blinked up at him seeming to study his every feature.
He’s a charmer this one. Malcolm thought then realized like father, like son.
Trip then moved to let the helmsman have a visit.

Mayweather was much more at ease with children. He smiled and bounced the young child up and down eliciting a few squeals of delight. About the time he started playing fighter pilot, lifting Lorian over his head, Trip decided to intervene before his mother had a chance too.

With Lorian back in his arms, Trip moved to face T’Pol.

“Anything interesting hun..” he mused with a sly grin not lost on the rest of the bridge crew.

T’Pol shot him a look of correction then began.
“This communiqué is from Senior Advisor Soval. It officially documents Lorian as a citizen of Vulcan and ranks him high in the scholastic testing.”

“Your child’s been through scholastic testing?” Reed and Mayweather both chimed in together.

“Of sorts..” Trip tried to explain.

“When Soval came to see Lorian, perform the Ahm-van-kal(naming ceremony) after he was born, he touched him. After mumbling a few words in Vulcan I didn’t get, he said he had been tested.” Trip bounced Lorian a bit to keep him occupied.
“I guess he did well.” he looked to T’Pol for acknowledgement.

“Indeed. he scored a three on the Vulcan Empathic Telepathy scale.” She said evenly still reading the memo.

“Only a three?” Trip sounded a bit disappointed.

Questioningly she returned his comment. “Out of a scale of 0-4, a three is a very good accomplishment for his age, especially given his genetic makeup.”

Trip didn’t know what to make of that crack. You callin' me inferior? He asked her through their bond.

Of course not.. It’s just that a three is hard to achieve even if fully Vulcan. Her thoughts were much softer than anything her voice would reveal.

“Oh... then a three sounds pretty good. Way to go champ.” Trip snuggled his nose into the soft skin of Lorian’s neck and made the child giggle.

“So you do take after your old man after all.” He added watching the reaction that came from the obvious jibe he threw T’Pol’s way. “Lets go see Uncle Jon” and with that the two disappeared through the double doors into the Captain’s ready room.

T’Pol closed out the message and rubbed her eyes gently. They were tired and heavy, but she still had a few hours to go on her shift.

Chapter Twelve

Opening her eyes again, T’Pol found herself sitting on the bed in their quarters. Across from her on the floor sat Lorian now age 3 and his dad both working hard on a small toy that was in need of some engineering repairs. She watched as her husband demonstrated every move to the child. Lorian took in all the words and mimicked a lot of the movements. Sometimes even being given the tool and helped to do it himself. After a few moments, the two sat back and the toy came to life, rising up and floating about the floor in front of them.

There was an excited giggle and a wild clapping of hands, as the exuberant little boy decided that being with his dad was the greatest thing he’d ever known. T’Pol closed her eyes and concentrated on their bond.

Dad Happy......Mom Happy... T’Pol winced a bit at the Mom part, then returned to listen.

Dad Happy... Mom Happy.....Me Happy...

Warmth flowed through their bond and T’Pol reflected that to Trip to share. She sat a while lost in the emotion of the moment, feeling like no harm could ever befall them as long as they were together. With that she fell into a light meditative state.

Coming to she found Trip laying there watching her sleep. He hadn’t aged, still as young and charming as ever. T’Pol noticed her throat was a bit scratchy and she worked quietly to ease it.

“Hey there sleepy head” He flashed her a gentle smile.

“Feeling better?” with his hand he reached up and pulled the hair back behind her finely pointed ear.

“Yes thank you..... How long have I been sleeping?” T’Pol looked around trying to get a sense of Lorian.

“Almost four hours. Phlox says he is on his way to check you out. I told him you were very weak and he said he’d bring some more of your medicine to get you back on your feet.” Trip noticed her searching.

“What are you looking for?” He asked staring up curiously at her.

“He isn’t here.” she murmured

“Of course not, I said he was on his way.” Trip noticed that drew a puzzled look from his beloved.

“You know what you need... Food. While Phlox is examining you, I’m gonna go down and get Chef to make you some of that broth, and maybe some of that Vulcan mash you had me try last week... That was pretty good.” Trip started to get up from the bed.

“And a big glass of juice. You need your strength... and as my momma always said, there is nothing like a big glass of juice for what ales ya.”

With that T’Pol seemed to be even more perplexed.

The door chime rang and Trip pulled the covers back around her slight body. He opened the door and allowed Dr. Phlox to enter.

“Now you take good care of her doc. I’m gonna get her some good eats.” Trip turned and left. Phlox sat down beside the Vulcan and began his scans.
When he was done, he gave her several injections of Synthetic Endorphin Complex, the substance the Vulcan research found helps to slow the progression of Pa’Nar Syndrome.

“Your doing much better. But I will be glad when we reach Earth for this refit. You are still planning to return to Vulcan for the procedure?” Phlox looked at the woman questioningly.

“Yes..” she answered, referring to the mind melting procedure to try and reverse or even cure the Pa’Nar for good.

“Good.” a very satisfied doctor responded.

“Doctor..” her voice trailed wondering if she should report the confusing experiences she had been having lately. After a moment, she simply asked.

“Would you mind handing me that data pad on the top shelf.” She watched as the short man reached past several pads and moved his hand on the correct one.

“This one?” he asked holding up for her glance.
“Yes.. Thank you..” she reached a hand from under the covers and took it.

After getting the pad, the good doctor vanished into the corridor, stating he would be back later to check on her again.

T’Pol turned on the notepad and watched as the Vulcan symbols lit up the screen. Touching here and there on the pad she navigated the many files that were stored until she came upon one she didn’t remember reading. Opening it, she was mesmerized by the beginning pages. There completely detailed was all that she had just lived through. The formula, the Pon Far vacation, the resulting pregnancy, the birth of her son Lorian, entries of various special moments between mother, father and child and even plans for a daughter to be named Elizabeth... The last line of the journals simply read. “Follow your heart.

Remembering the conversation with the older T’Pol, at the time she knew not what her heart wanted. A long moment later came the thought,
But now I do...!

The End............

Vulcan Words are from the Golic Vulcan Federation Standard English- Vulcan Dictionary. Yes folks, there is a full Vulcan English dictionary. What will the fandom think of next. Thanks again to Dee for her marvelous additions to the storyline.


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A whole mess of folks have made comments

I am a bit confused, but I really liked it all the same.

Beautiful! Reminiscent of Gabriel Garcia Marquez.

^same here, but i liked it too. Loved trip's musings as he sedated himself

^same here, but i liked it too. Loved trip's musings as he sedated himself

^same here, but i liked it too. Loved trip's musings as he sedated himself

Sorry about the triple post, my stupid computer is so sklow that i got impatient

A little confusing about the information on the pad. And why can't people who can write well, like you, spell worth sour apples? Loose instead of lose, ales instead of ails, a number of other slip-ups. OPEN THAT DICTIONARY!!

I LOVE IT!! Thanks for making my day! Funniest part - when Trip said, "only three?" Reminds me of my father when I told him I had five distinctions in my O levels - and he said, "Only five??"

Great story. :)
I knew right away that T'pol had to be either dreaming or had a bad memory side afect from the Panar's glad it turned out to be a dream of what her heart wanted. I just loved that even though she apeared confused she warmed right up to having a family with Trip. Just loved the last line,,,("Remembering the conversation with the older T’Pol, at the time she knew not what her heart wanted. A long moment later came the thought,
But now I do...!") Hows about a sequal?

I'm confused. I liked it, but I'm not really sure what happened.

Sorry about the confusion. this story was originally in a two part format, but was condensed when it was posted. Yes she is dreaming, but it's because she had the answer to her question all along... On the pad that the old T'Pol gave her.... she just wasn't ready to face it then.... Now she was. Hope that helps gang. And Sorry Graybear about the spelling... I will endeavor to be more accurate.....T.

I will warn you in advance I like to write dream sequences cause it gives me creative license. I did write a cute little diddy this morning that wasn't one. I will send it in tomorrow. It's a little racy, but it was so much fun I couldn't help myself. It's entitled "Reactor Fluid"
Thanks for the feedback......T

Also for those wanting the sequels to "Comm 101" and "A day in the life", they are still in the works and almost done. I just seem to be hitting a creative spurt or my Lithium level isn't high enough. Just kidding... mentally sane here most of the time. Just enjoying the creative flow. It's like my form of meditation. And yes I got an A- in English in college... the minus was for spelling.....big surprise... T.

A little confusing, but overall enjoyable. One thing, they don't have comm badges, that started on TNG show.

Graybear - seriously, you should be a BETA Tester for us!

Hi, just wanted to say it was a great story. At first I was a little thrown off by the format of being in one time period and then advancing through time in fairly quick intervals (It’s probably easier to read if you have had philosophy). I really enjoyed it because it was so uniquely written though. I wouldn’t change a thing, good job.

I loved it. Thank you!

Great story. Gosh, with spelling....every time I re-proof something I write, I always find one more spelling or grammar thing to fix - it's endless. There were so many things I liked here I can't remember them all. It's great you mention Lizzy - she is a haunting one, isn't she? And you mention Hoshi's hijinx - I liked that in a recent episode, it gave her more character so I'm glad you mentioned it. The telepathic baby bond was a nice touch - get the baby's needs met before they cry. And T'Pol as able to take away Trip's illness but suffer from it herself, its always fun to have more Vulcan abilities revealed. Oh, and I liked the beaming into the isolation chamber. Keep on giving us more!

I'm a bit confused, but I liked it a lot.
Baby Lorian is very cute !

I'm REALLY confused, but I liked it a lot.