Welcome Home

Welcome Home

By: TLR

Rated PG: mild language
Disclaimer: Star Trek Enterprise is the property of UPN and Paramount Studios.
Summary: This story picks up where “Back on Enterprise” leaves off. It’s the discussion with Trip that T’Pol’s been dreading. Enjoy
February 20, 2005

T’Pol walked the familiar corridors toward her cabin. She was tired mentally and physically. Wishing for nothing more than a hot shower and some quiet meditation, she knew there would be neither until this issue with Trip was resolved. As she entered the room, her shoulders drooped, in an uncharacteristic fashion. Her movements were slow and tortured. She sat on the bed, with fingers steepled in her lap attempting to get in some light meditation before the confrontation would begin. She choked back a cough and noticed her hands were trembling.

(The Pa’Nar) Came the realization, and she moved over to the desk to retrieve her medication.

While it was true that T’Pau had cured her of the active disease, the damage that had been done to her neuro-motor pathways was permanent. She would have to remain on stimulants to keep functioning at an acceptable level. This she found out after her mother’s death. That on top of the other changes brought about by the Kir’Shara made everyday life challenging.

Back in the Expanse, she presumed her loss of coordination and the trembling had come from the Trellium. Now however she knew that her addiction had only exacerbated her symptoms from the Pa’Nar. Something she later realized when she remembered the meeting with her older self aboard the other Enterprise. Most humans would consider the woman’s age to be the reason for her unsteady gait and trembling hands. But Vulcan’s didn’t age that way. Most healthy Vulcans were just as strong and sure of their step well into their later hundreds...until their death even. The memory of her future self haunted T’Pol even today. The shaky voice, those trembling limbs, the only worse fate would be to have lost her mind. But that clearly didn’t happen.

She reached into the top drawer of the desk and withdrew a hypospray. Her hands were beginning to shake as she held it to her neck and pressed the button. A soft hiss later found her laying it back atop the desk among some personal items. Her eyes were closed waiting for the medication to take affect. The chime sounded and T’Pol turned to face the door.

“Come.” Her response was a resignation at best.

Trip Tucker entered the room washed, clean shaven and dressed in an Enterprise issued uniform. She acknowledged him with a quiet nod then crossed the room to sit on the edge of her bunk. The room was dim, no candles only the faint blue haze from the back up lighting that ran along the floor boards. This was a pleasant contrast to the harsher lighting in the operational areas of the ship.

“Any luck findin' Phlox?” He felt uneasy starting this conversation and looked for some less personal ground to ease his way in.

T’Pol didn’t meet his gaze, looking wearily ahead she replied. “We have managed to pick up on the vessel’s ion trail, but it has been leading us in circles for most of the night.”

“Bet the Cap'n’s hoppin' mad”

“Frustrated would be a more accurate term. I asked to stay on and keep up with the search, but he ordered me off duty for the next 12 hours.” T’Pol absently pressed a finger to her brow trying to relieve a stress spot.

“How’s it feel?”... She looked at him questioningly.

“Gettin' ordered off duty.... I seem to recall a few times when you and Phlox.......”

T’Pol returned her gaze to the floor. “Is this what you wanted answers to?”

She knew the commander would continue to beat around the bush trying to find a gentlemanly way of bring up the real subject. As tired as she was, wasting time was not logical.

“No.....” he took a long breath. “I’ve been having these really ....weird dreams... for.....for a while now.” He stammered a bit not wanting to get too revealing.

“Dreams” T’Pol echoed his words to show she was listening.

“Yeah.... I kinda got use to 'em, but now their changin’.”

“In what way are they changing?” Her eyes still not meeting his.

“Well for one thing... they’re happ’nin' in the daytime.” Trip moved to face her, leaning against the edge of her desk.

“It’s like I‘m here an'... somewhere else all at the same time.”

“How long have these types of dreams been coming to you?”

“Since I left Enterprise...” His words trailed of in a painful admission.

“Further more, they’re all bout you.....” He crossed his arms in frustration. “What are they... and don’t tell me ya don’t know, 'cause I think ya do.”

“I am not sure, but I do have a theory.” T’Pol slowly turned her eyes to his.

“Well.....” His look was one of expectation.

“It is possible that we have some how formed a bond between us.”

“What a bond of friendship you mean? ...”

“Not quite.” she started turning her eyes back to the floor.

“Vulcans are empathic by nature. We can sense other’s emotions, even sense the way emotions effect scent.”

“Yeah so I’ve heard.” his lack of patients was showing. “You sense emotions”

“Naturally we are forced to block out these emotions in order to live our lives in peace.”

Trip nodded.... “Naturally”

“This makes forming close friendships extremely difficult and in fact the only emotions we allow to invade our thoughts are from our bond mates and subsequently from our offspring.”

“So because we......” He choked to find a better term. “had sexual relations that night... we were bonded?”

“No.... not exactly.”

“All right.... now I am really confused.” Trip turned the desk chair around and sat down in defeat.

“Trip... my empathic abilities are very sensitive. Too sensitive in fact for me to even be around humans for long periods of time.” She started patiently trying to get the young man to understand.

“But with training, I learned to adapt and after being on Enterprise I was able to get my barriers to a level that I could tolerate being around so many humans.”

“Is that why everyone’s always askin' ya how you can stand being around us for so long.” He thought back to her conversations with Soval and also with the Vulcan monks in the monastery at P’Jem.

“They way they would talk, you’d think we were lepers or somethin'."

“Yes..... It hasn’t been easy, but I have learned to block out most of the bombardment, but even with my abilities, it is harder to block out the emotions I receive through touch. These emotions, unlike those humans give off normally, are more focused and generally directed at the person being touched.”

“Any touch?”

“Yes.”

“So that’s why Vulcans refrain from touching... No hand shakes... No hugs... right?” Trip seemed to catch on.

“Exactly...... If an encounter is anticipated, then we can prepare for it through meditation, or if no time is available... we can brace for it at least.”

“God.... you make it sound almost painful.... Isn’t there any touch that isn’t intrusive?”

“It’s not painful....it’s just.....it can be disorienting depending on the emotion.” Her voice softened not wanting to give the wrong impression.

“Those neuropressure sessions.....they must have been really difficult for you then.” He was fishing and she knew it.

“Neuropressure is not just about releasing stress. It is also about releasing the emotions that cause the stress. Without an outlet, they would remain regardless of the physical technique used.”

“So you were the outlet for my emotions...?”

“Yes.... That is why it is considered to be a very intimate act.”

“So through touch, you can absorb someone’s emotions..?” Trip started to understand her discomfort at times and especially why she didn’t want to perform neuro pressure on Corporal Cole. He thought a moment.

“Wait ....... That day in the corridor....remember....when I was angry at the Xindi’s help and....and dreading that letter to Taylor’s family...” The memory came back vivid and clear.

“I was in so much pain when I realized that it was Lizzy, not Taylor that I had to face was gone...... you were there.” T’Pol studied him intently.

“You put your hand on my shoulder... I was dying inside one minute and then... I was sad, but.... a lot the pain lifted...” he looked at her questioningly. “Did you ....take my pain from me?”

T’Pol nodded softly.

Trip threw back his head in amazement. “Geeze... all this time I thought you were just a really good listener...” At that, he thought he felt a hint of laughter, but her features didn’t change.

“In making myself accustom to accepting your emotions..” She admitted swallowing hard and squaring her shoulders. “I could easily have allowed this bond to form.”

“Well if it formed all the way back then,... why now is it.....”

“It could have formed long ago and we didn’t realize it until you left. While I am awake, I can consciously block out any emotions I choose, even yours. But when I am asleep or in deep meditation it is more difficult. It’s possible at those times the bond could have manifested itself without our realizing it.”

“You mean like in dreams?”

“Exactly”

“Wait.... you told me Vulcan’s don’t dream.” Trip tried to understand.

“No.... I said we use meditation to keep from dreaming, because our dreams are often quite disturbing.” Evenly she added “However lately I have been dreaming all the time.”

“So your dreams are disturbing you?” (This may be a clue to her recent discord.) He considered her distant behavior.

“No... Mostly they are not, which leads me to believe they are not my dreams.”

“Why... what have you been dreamin' about?” Again he was fishing, not wanting to admit the extreme sexual nature of his own.

“My dreams are widely diverse.” She didn’t take the bait.

“All right... what did ya dream bout last night?” He asked more directly.

“I haven’t slept for several days.... not since Phlox was abducted.”

Frustration was setting in mixed with the lack of sleep he’d been experiencing too. “Okay... what did you dream about the last time you slept.”

T’Pol thought a moment then proceeded carefully. “I dreamed of a very interesting visit to a beach...Trunk Bay I believe it was called.”

Yikes!...she really was there. This could get embarrassing. “Had you been there before?” He asked sheepishly.

“No”

“Maybe you read about it....saw pictures...?” He kept searching over the obvious

“No”

“I must have told ya bout it. I’m sure I mentioned it..... Maybe, when I was looking forward to Risa.” The discomfort was starting to show.

“No Trip.....I knew nothing of this place until my dream...., forcing me to conclude that it wasn’t my dream.”

“What do you mean by an interesting trip?” That question was even softer then the last.

T’Pol searched for an appropriate and sparing answer. Trip was starting to realize that she too knew of his dreams.

“Explicit.” Even and unblaming,.. she flashed him a look that was the Vulcan equivalent of sarcasm.

(Yikes.....I left Enterprise to get away from her and now she’s in my head...) That thought brought a sadly puzzled look to T’Pol’s face.

“That’s not what I meant....”Trip started, remembering that she could read his every thought.

“You told me your decision to leave Enterprise had nothing what so ever to do with me.” She reminded him defiantly.

“Well ... I lied okay.... But it wasn’t you......It was me...”

“Meaning....?” Her expression brought out every soft spot in Trip’s heart. “After your mom died.... I knew you were hurtin'....” Trip crossed the room and knelt before her. Remembering not to touch, he tried to connect to her heart with his words.

“You were hurtin' as bad as I had been bout Lizzie.... but you were tryin' to push it down and not deal with it.... Don’t get me wrong.... I know you have ta deal with it your own way ...and in your own time. But I wanted ta help.” Trip caught her eyes and noticed a scare young child there.

“I wanted so much ta do for you what ya did for me.... but I didn’t know how. Had no clue how ta reach you... I figured if I just kept us talkin'.... You’d eventually let me help you.”

“But you kept pushing me away with that Damned Kir’Shara.... I know it’s important to your people... I am not disrespecting its’ significance, but you were doing exactly what I did with Lizzy.”

“The Kir’Shara has nothing to do with your sibling...” She started and he stopped her with a wave of his hand.

“I spent nine months tellin' myself that my sister was no more important than the other 7 million people who died. I knew she was dead....could say it aloud without any trouble to anyone who asked......but I hadn’t dealt with it.” He smirked at the memory of his stubbornness

“I even laid into Malcolm one time when he wanted to talk bout memorial services. All he wanted to do was help and I told him to mind his own damn business. Furthermore I told him his time would be better spent getting the weapons ready so we could blow those bastards out of existence when we caught up to 'em.” He gauged her for understanding.

“Don’t you see....the mission became my Kir’Shara.... I let it absorb my every wakin' thought. I worked days on end just so I wouldn’t have any time alone to think about Lizzie and what her death really meant.” his face softened.

“You were the only thing that made my down time bearable. For some reason, I could talk to you... You didn’t force me to talk about Lizzie, but instead focused my mind on other things. You allowed me to relax so I wouldn’t go nuts........ I just wanted ta do the same for you.”

“I know that Trip.” She admitted softly. “But I am not human... I must deal with things differently.”

“I understand that....I was just tryin' to tell ya, you didn’t have to deal with it by yourself..... I’d always be here for you.”

“But you left anyway?”

“I thought I had too... I wasn’t helpin' ya... The more I tried to keep us talking.... the more I kept gettin' barred from your life. My efforts were met with many a slap in the face.”

“I never struck you?”

“Maybe not with your hands, but with your words. As you Vulcans are so found of reminding us, Humans have feelings. And having feelings means they can get hurt very easily. Words are at times more powerful then weapons could ever be.”

“I apologize.”

“I’m not lookin' for an apology.... Even the hurts I could take, but tryin’ to help you started to take over my every thought......Night time... Day time... God...... and I thought standing there watchin' you marry Koss was the hardest thing I would ever have to live through.... that was easy compared to this.”

T’Pol’s head lowered obviously upset she had caused him so much torment.

With trepidation he lifted her chin lightly with his finger.

“I don’t regret what I went through for you.... and I would do it all again in a heart beat..... but my preoccupation with you....almost cost you and Jhamel your lives. My work was slipping.... I was making errors...... Errors that could have killed someone I love very much....” (There I said it...)

“I couldn’t live with myself if I’d let that happened.”

“You would not have allowed that to happen.” She whispered.

“I couldn’t take that chance.”

Trip flashed a soft smile. He felt her gaze steady on his face and for the first time felt her mind gently touching his. He leaned in slightly... halting mid way between them hands to his sides.

After a long moment, T’Pol’s slender fingers reached up and caressed his face. They were gentle, engaging, sending his heart to places it could only long for. He felt his eyes close and a deep sense of happiness take over his body.

T’Pol leaned into his space and stopped her lips just millimeters from his. She breathed in his scent and allowed her feelings to flow freely between them. Closing her eyes, she brought her lips to meet his, just a brush at first....then with a little more pressure.

The kiss seemed to last a lifetime and yet it was brief by comparison. So many feelings soared in and out of Trip’s mind. Love, happiness, glee and giddiness overwhelmed every sense. His heart raced, irregular skipping a beat then hurrying to keep up this frantic rhythm.

(Finally......) His mind sighed the great relief it was feeling.

Trip wanted to wrap T’Pol in his arms and never let her go. He wanted to freeze this moment, never again returning to the outside world, a world of reality that this moment was clearly not a part of. Instead remembering their talk, his hands remained to his sides, allowing T’Pol to guide them at her own safe pace.

As she mouth moved away from his, Trip took this time to study his beloved face. He missed those beautiful features. Knew he had only been gone a few days, but it seemed like a century... Totally unacceptable.

He memorized the curve of her brow... the large moon shaped eyes that held so much heat in every waking glance. He bathed himself in their glow, not wanting anything to stop this fantasy.

Even in this moment of ecstasy, Trip noticed for the first time just how weary she was. Like him, their separation was unsettling and only now did her defenses belie her true state.

“You haven’t slept for a while....you need your rest.” he whispered resigning himself to postpone their joy until she had time to sleep..

Subconsciously though, Trip wondered if her weariness was what had her barriers down. He could only take the chance that when she had rested, she wouldn’t put those walls back up. He slowly rose to leave.

“Don’t go.” Came a quiet whisper, followed by a small elegant hand on his.

Trip looked back at her in quiet surprise. T’Pol turned her face toward her lap.

“It is believed that dreaming within a bond pair is brought about by distance. The greater the distance, the more vivid and frequent the dreams can be.” She paused a moment to phrase her next request.

“Maybe if you were to remain... we could both get some uninterrupted rest.”
T’Pol lifted only her eyes to his.

“It seems....logical” he answered with a shy smile.

T’Pol moved back onto the far side of the bunk. Trip sat on the edge and removed his sneakers. A smile was growing and try as he may he could barely conceal it. He lay back onto his back and watched as T’Pol eased in to nuzzle against his chest.

With a start, Trip whipped up a finger and faced the young woman.

“And don’t you try nothing........I know Judo.....” he said with a smart ass smirk which caused T’Pol to bite back a smile and turn away.

Surprised by this breach Trip reacted.... ”AWWWWHHHHH....I’m tellin' Soval ........ I saw that.......!”

T’Pol whipped around with a more poised expression, one of superiority. Trip quieted down and returned his head to the pillow.

“Well I guess we can let this one go, but ....better get control of those oops’ of yours.... I mean your a Vulcan......” with that his smile grew larger.

(That smile sure did look pretty on you.) He ventured, believing it was better to think things he dare not say.

(thank you) a quiet thought entered his mind. (now rest.....)

(Sweet...ah...) he pondered a moment. (No dreams........)

(yesssss......) came the heady response.

Trip closed his eyes as T’Pol nuzzled in close to his neck. Her body lay substantially against his and that was exactly how he liked it. Content and calm after all the torment they had been through, both sank off into a gentle slumber............. Warm and safe at last!

The End

Want a little more?.... Be sure to catch the sequel A Day in the Life

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Have a comment to make about this story? Do so in the Trip Fan Fiction forum at the HoTBBS!

A whole mess of folks have made comments

Loved it. If only this would happen on the show. How much more can they (and we) take?! Thank you.

This was prefect, a real great story! I can't wait for the sequel!!!!

yay! very nice!

Sweet story. Thank you for writing it.

You know I think the Enterprise writers have been pillaging this site and all it's fanfiction and turning it into episodes.......so maybe we will get to see something like this pretty soon. HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YAY!

Great stuff. I want to see more!!

Brilliant! At last they both know where they stand and that they are destined to remained in each others' orbits. I can't wait for the sequel! This was so beautifully done, thank you. Ali D :~)

Thank you, very good work. I like it a lot. Looking forward for the next chapter...!

This was a real sweet fic. I dont think they could get much sweeter, but I cant wait to see how the next one turns out. And soon hopfully

That was a great story, hopefully there is more.

Great story, can't wait for the sequel!!!!

(in time with conga line music) Sequel, sequel, se-quel! Sequel, sequel, se-quel! :)

Wonderful.

Stay on that track.

Wonderful.

Stay on that track.

Thanks for the wonderful feedback. Sequel is written, it's a bit more racy...but it's very funlovingly written. Will turn it in on Tues.

Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Loved it so much!! Thank you for a wonderful, touching story. Trip's words were so gentle and sweet.

Can't wait for the sequel!!!