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ConfessionsAuthor - Triplover | C | Genre - Angst | Genre - Vignette | Main Story | Rating - PG
Fan Fiction Main Page | Stories sorted by title, author, genre, and rating Confessions By Triplover Rating: PG The companion piece from T'Pol's POV is Confessions: Part II ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Trip’s POV I watch her from the other side of the room, just looking at her as she works. It’s the tenth time I’ve done this. I’ve tried to concentrate, but it’s no use. I’m just glad I won’t have to be like this much longer because soon I’ll be gone, on the Columbia, far away from her. If only I could tell her, let her see how much she’s hurt me. She’ll never know how deeply she’s cut me. No other woman has tortured me the way T’Pol has. I can’t do it anymore. My heart’s so bruised I doubt I’ll ever love a woman the way I loved T’Pol. Maybe that’s a good thing. If there’s one thing I should have learned out of this, it’s that true love is a fairy tale, and anyone who believes in it is an idiot. I can’t even tear my eyes away from her form. I just keep staring at her like a sick puppy. Oh god, look at what she’s reduced me to! It’s just sick, being this pathetic…. I mean, what am I doing?! She doesn’t love you, idiot! Get over it! Get on with your life! Why is that so hard to do? Why is it so hard to move on? Because you love her. You love her more than you’ve ever loved anyone in your life and you don’t just move on after that. That’s why! If only I could tell her. If only she could know what this is doing to me. Maybe then she’d see what she’s done. If only I could tell her, but I can’t. I’m too chicken. What would I say? Hey T’Pol, I’d just like you to know you’ve turned me down and fought me so much I feel dead inside, just wanted you to know! Yeah, now that would be interesting. I’d love to see her reaction to that one! What would I really say? T’Pol, I’ve never felt like this. I’ve never even thought these kinds of feelings were possible. I suppose I’ve had them since the day we first met, though I can’t for the life of me tell you why. For all of my life I’ve distrusted Vulcans, and yet the moment I saw you I knew… I just knew you were different. It was like in that moment I could see the future, our future. When the Doc asked you to do neuropressure with me it scared the hell out of me, but I did it. I spent every night with you, in your quarters, talking with you… and now see the result. Somewhere in there my life began to spin out of control, spiraling towards something I couldn’t even begin to understand. Sim was telling you the truth when he said I had feelings for you. I just didn’t want to I just wanted you to know that every time you pushed me away, my world collapsed, and every time you pulled me close, I was on top of that same world. Why can’t you just treat me right? Why put me through such torture? Why make me feel so awful that I have to push myself to get up in the morning? Why make me have to remind myself to breathe? Why, T’Pol? Why do you do this to me? Don’t you care enough to realize what you’re doing to me? You’re killing me, T’Pol. You’re killing me every day that I can’t hold you, touch you, and feel your love for me. What are you so afraid of? Why can’t you just read my mind… know how deep a sadness you have plagued me with? You’ve done more than hurt me, T’Pol. You’ve ripped out my insides and crushed them under your feet. You’ve made me feel what can’t be felt, then taken it away just as fast as it came. Why are you doing this to me? What did I ever do to you for you to torture me in such a horrible way? Make it go away, T’Pol. Make me forget all this. I can’t deal with the pain. I just want to go back in time and make sure I never even meet you. In this case, I think it would have been better to never love at all, than to have loved and lost…. I just lost too much. Too much to bear. Make it go away, T’Pol. Make the suffering go away. Make my feelings for you disappear. Make my dreams of a little Lorian and you in a beautiful white dress leave my mind. I can’t take it anymore, T’Pol. I can’t take what you’ve done to me, what you’ve reduced me to. I want to move on, but no matter how hard I try you are always in my thoughts, burned into my very soul. Oh god how you have burned into my soul… my mind… my heart. Only I still have my soul and mind…. There is one thing that I do not have though, something very important to me. T’Pol, please give me back my broken heart…. Yes, that would be my confession. If only she could hear it. If only I could tell it. If only…. I stand, knowing that I have stared at her too long. Walking away I see her eyes follow me and my broken heart contracts in pain. These are my confessions, T’Pol… hear me. I need you to know what you’ve done. I walk into the turbolift and turn around, closing my eyes. If only she could know the truth that I hide even from myself. If only she could know the biggest confession of all. If only you could know… how much I love you… how much I need you…how much I want you…how much of me has died without you…. The End Have a comment to make about this story? Do so in the Trip Fan Fiction forum at the HoTBBS! A whole mess of folks have made commentsthis is just such a piece of desperation. i really hope that there's less angst on the show. nice job-- i've so been there with my own thoughts! So Sad. :( So Sad. :( Excellent, you captured the characters very well. Poor trip :( Excellent, you captured the characters very well. Poor trip :( Excellent, you captured the characters very well. Poor trip :( Ohhh, ah...Trip, if T'Pol don't want ya, I'm here, front and center. Great POV. I so want to make him feel better. wonderful, great work. Great stuff. I'm with rabidus, here's to the show being kinder to Trip! :) Poor, poor Trip. How could anyone do this to him on Valentine's Day? Ali D :~) Poor man, he needs to get a hobby, maybe have a few drinks with Mal and drown his sorrows. It's just too hard to go on a bender when you're a senior officer! Oh god, oh god, oh god! Where's the freakin' tissues when you need 'em? The thing is, from T'Pol's recent frosty attitude towards him, I can totally see her NOT caring about him anymore! Also, I couldn't help but remember that unless our dreams come true, we won't see much more of Trip (except in reruns) and THAT made me cry even harder! :sob: On Valentines Day? You're evil & cruel! I like the story very much, fits very well with the episode, please do T'POl's POV! I´d cried like a .. what do you say here? In german it´s "ich heule wie ein Schloßhund". |