Living Among the Thorns - Ch 6

Living Among the Thorns

By Triplover

Rating: R
Disclaimer in Chapter 1

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Chapter Six

Trip couldn't believe what he was doing. He couldn't believe he was actually kissing T'Pol! Their hands were in each other's hands, as they stood together, lips pressed against each other.... What was even worse was that she wasn't pulling away. Slowly their arms wrapped around each other. Their eyes closed in the embrace they now found themselves in. But even as the kiss deepened and as he felt her tongue go into his mouth he knew that something was wrong. Slowly, even to *his* surprise he pushed away, horrified at what he had done. "Oh my god! I am so sorry T'Pol! I can't believe I just kissed ya! I am so very sorry!" He said backing away. T'Pol said nothing, she simply cocked her head, looking at him. He couldn't help but feel guilty by what he had just done, how could he do that to her? How could he just let his feelings show like that? How could he just kiss her like that? . "I didn't mean to... I mean... I can't believe I just... uh... I better go." He finally said, no longer able to face her and ran out of their quarters.

T'Pol watched him leave, then slowly sat on the bed trying to figure out what she had just done. What in the world was she doing? She couldn't believe that she had let Commander Tucker just kiss her like that. And what she found was most disturbing was her emotional reaction. She had... enjoyed in. She took pleasure from it. She... wanted it. T'Pol's eyes went wide, something was very wrong with her. She had to figure out what was going one with her lately. And why all of the sudden, was she thinking of Commander Tucker in such an inappropriate way? She'd been … aroused…by him. She could feel the tingling sensation down there. Her entire body had seemed to activate to his touch, to his lips. Suddenly her feelings for him were no longer being controlled. Something was wrong. Very wrong.

***********

Archer was tired, he was tired of waiting, he was tired of worrying... he was tired of doing nothing. He had been waiting for days, waiting for his people to report back to him with news as to their findings, but there was nothing. He wondered what was going on! What were they doing down there? Archer was growing so tired of waiting, if they didn't report back soon... he'd be forced to find the cargo ship and get his people out, no matter what. He needed Trip and T'Pol; they were needed for the mission. If they were hurt... he would do whatever he could to help.

But another answer he wasn't quite ready for seemed to float around in his brain. They could be fine... they could be doing their job and just waiting for the moment when they could contact Enterprise. Archer hated to admit it, but he was a little worried, and not just with the mission but with what they'd decided for the mission. T'Pol had been the one to suggest that they go as a married couple. Archer couldn’t help but find that interesting. Those two had been all but connected at the hip lately. They'd worked together, then Trip would go to her quarters at night…. Maybe they were connected at the hip....

Archer shook his head. What was he thinking? Those two almost hated each other, even a kiss would probably disgust T'Pol, and he was sure Trip wouldn't like it either. Archer almost laughed at the thought. It would have to be an order before those two would do anything like that! But things had changed. Trip wasn't as opposed to her ideas; they didn't argue with each other anymore; and T'Pol seemed different herself. She seemed almost to enjoy his company. But to be more than colleagues? No, those two would never be that way. It was close to impossible.

But remember Jon, ‘the Vulcan science directorate has determined that time travel isn't possible...’ If time travel is possible then perhaps anything is possible!

Archer again shook his head and moved to the window of his quarters. Stop it! Those two are totally different, they'd never be interested in each other! Another voice fought in his head.

What's that old saying? Opposites Attract?

Archer frowned at the last sentence in his head mentioned by the other voice. Could they? Was it possible? Archer looked down at his dog and fell into the chair at his desk. They could. It *was* possible. But *were* they?

************

It seemed lifeless now on the Redeemer. No one was in sight… and Trip Tucker was feeling sick again. But this time not because of the Xindi on the ship, but because of what he had done to T'Pol. He knew she had a hold on her feelings, but he was sure she would be angry with him for doing what he did and just getting out of there like that. How could he do that to her? How could he just leave like that? He was such a jerk! He should have talked with her, explained what was going on. He should have told her about his feelings towards her….

Trip had never felt such a horrible feeling like the one he now felt. He felt so awful about what had happened. He could have just destroyed his relationship with T'Pol! What if she no longer wanted his friendship? What if after what he'd done... she no longer even wanted to be near him? He knew he'd understand, what he had done... it was unforgivable... but he couldn't help himself. His feelings for her were stronger than they'd been before, he wasn't ready for what had happened. He... he... Trip sighed. What was he doing? He couldn't keep worrying about it. Although he knew T'Pol would probably avoid him as much as possible. He wondered if perhaps it was best he sleep somewhere else... but knew that if he did the others might get worried and wonder what was going on.

There was no way out for him. He was stuck with her, and she was stuck with him. They couldn't avoid each other. But he knew they could avoid talking about the kiss, they could act like it never happened. They could pretend nothing was wrong. Somehow though, that didn't help much. He cared for T'Pol, and more than that... he needed T'Pol. What happened before was proof of just how much he missed being close to someone. Everything up to that kiss showed just how much he missed talking to someone about how he felt and what was bothering him. Since the Expanse, Archer and Trip weren't as close. In fact they hardly talked anymore. The same went for Malcolm. The only person he had left to count on was T'Pol, but now that was ruined too!

How could he do that to her? How could he just kiss her like that? The two questions buzzed around in his head over and over and over again as his brain tried to find some reason why he'd kissed her. He was such an idiot! Everything was so crazy in his life. His sister was dead, they were on a mission to save Earth... and now he had just ruined the one relationship that cherished most. Trip closed his eyes for a second, trying to get a grip on the anger he now felt. He was such an idiot! Finally he stopped, realizing that he was in front of his quarters… their quarters. His legs had brought him back to her…. God, he loved her so much. He looked down, once again closing his eyes for only a second, then left again. He had to give her time.

***********

Beer, plain cold beer. It wasn't like the stuff back home on earth, but it was good enough to get him drunk, and that was exactly what he wanted. To be drunk. He had a few more hours until his shift... by then... well... he'd still be drunk... but he'd fixed things up before while drunk. He'd be fine. It was like mess hall, like the one back on Enterprise, but not the same. Nothing was the same... but how could it be? This was the Redeemer, not Enterprise.

Trip Tucker sighed, then drank more of the ‘beer’ in his hand. Savoring every last drop until it was gone. He looked at his hand, still five fingers, he needed more beer. As he got up he felt his head spin, he was close to drunk... but not there yet... yup... more beer.

Then he heard the door open. He looked up to see Torlic. He smiled. "Torlic! Hey, wanna get drunk with me?" He asked wavering a little in speech. The captain nodded with an amused expression on his face, and walked over to him.

"Are you okay, Tobin?" Torlic asked. Trip moved back in his chair, then banged his head on the table.

"I'm an idiot Torlic... a total idiot. And I don't think even death will make things better." He muttered on the table. Torlic sat next to him.

"Women trouble." Torlic muttered back. Torlic knew Trip way too well, yet knew nothing about him.

"Not women Torlic... woman." Trip sighed silently as Torlic laughed.

"I know what you mean my friend. Women can really get to you! So what's your woman trouble Tobin?" Torlic asked. Trip raised his head and sighed.

"T'Pol...." Trip winced, mentally kicking himself. Maybe he shouldn't have tried to get drunk. He was now talking to a Xindi he couldn't trust about his problems and he'd just made a big mistake.

"T'Pol? Who is T'Pol? Are you having an affair Tobin?!" Torlic asked in shock. Trip shook his head thinking fast.

"It's uh... my nickname for her! T'Pol, it means 'woman of beauty'." He lied. Well done, Trip! Even while drunk you’re on top of things... nice save!

"Nice, very poetic." Torlic said approving. Trip shook his head. "So what exactly is your problem with Orina?" He then asked. Trip looked down at the bottle of beer.

"You see this beer, Torlic? Now, for some guys... this beer is half empty. Then for others, it's half full. What do you see what ya look at it? Half empty... or half full?" He asked. Trip had heard the illustration of life before on movie night. He hadn't understood it before until now. He could see that Torlic wasn't understanding as Trip hadn't, but with a sigh, he answered anyway.

"I suppose half full." He answered. Trip nodded.

"Ya know what I see when I look at this bottle?" Torlic shook his head 'no'. "I see it as half empty... the funny thing is... I used to be like you. I could look at anything and see the good side about it! In fact, I was usually the one trying to make others see it as I did. I was always cheering them up, trying to show them how wonderful life is! But now... life just seems to be spiraling out of control... and I can't do a thing about it."

"What does this have to do with Orina?" Torlic finally asked. Trip looked at the man and smiled.

"I love Orina with all my heart... in fact... I don't think I've ever loved anyone the way I love her. But somehow... I still end up screwing it all up... and now she's probably mad at me." Torlic nodded, finally understanding.

"I see, you two had a fight...." Torlic said. It wasn't exactly true... but that didn't matter now. Things were already messed up, and there wasn't a thing he could do about it. "What happened?"

Trip moved back in his chair. "I don't want her to hate me. I couldn't take it if she did. But she will... I messed things up... and now our relationship is gone with the birds." He looked out the window, watching the stars shining. "Well, gone with the stars anyway." He then added and looked back at Torlic. Torlic put his hand on Trip's shoulder, much like captain Archer used to do... used to....

"You know... a while ago. When my wife was pregnant, she was trying to find a way to tell me. She went through a million ways when one day we got into a fight and she yelled to me 'we're pregnant!' Just like that. Now obviously, I was shocked, I couldn't even believe her! I didn't want a son. I even said so to her! Can you believe it? I told my wife, that I didn't want our baby! She and I didn't get along for the full amount of time she was pregnant. I didn't take into account her feelings, that she was just as scared as I was. She had the same fears, too. But I didn’t think about her, because I was too busy worrying about myself."

Trip cocked his head. "What are you saying exactly?"

Torlic smiled. "You two had a fight... it happens. But that doesn't mean it's the end. You just need to... talk to her... tell her how you feel and then ask her how she feels. Did you ask her what she was feeling at all during the fight?"

Trip frowned. "Well uh... not... really... I kinda left before she said anything." He said, it wan't until then that he realized that T'Pol never pushed away. She never stopped him from kissing her. In fact, she put her tongue down his throat... she wrapped her arms around him. She kissed him back....

"You should talk to her Tobin, ask her how she feels about whatever's going on with you two. You might find that what you thought... wasn't really right. You might find that you were wrong all along!" Torlic then said. "When my wife had our child... all I kept thinking about was how wonderful he was, and how glad I was to have him. He was a beautiful baby boy... but it wasn't until I saw him that I realized what a fool I'd been, and in that moment, all my fears just went right out the airlock. And suddenly, it was just me, her and our son. At that moment everything I did would be for him. It wasn't until I realized what I had done that we were close again. Don't make the same mistake Tobin. This is your wife, think of her needs before your own. Talk to her, tell her how you feel, then listen to her." Torlic advised him. Trip shook his head.

"She won't talk to me. She'll act like I don't exist, ignore me. That's always been how she did things. I made a mistake, and now I've got to pay the price for it." Trip explained, then took two extra bottles of beer and began to walk to the door, but he turned to look at Torlic one more time. "I won't be in engineering tomorrow if that's ok... I'll be fighting off a hang over."

************

It only took him a few minutes to walk back to his quarters where he found that T'Pol was sleeping. He silently cheered to see that she was asleep; he knew that he couldn't face her at the moment. He just needed to work things out... then maybe he could talk to her.

With that he walked over to his desk and looked out at stars once again. They were beautiful... but not even close to how beautiful T'Pol looked as she sleeped. He could hardly keep his eyes away. He could think of nothing else but her. Then with another breath, he turned around and focused on his personal log which he'd saved and encrypt.

"Personal log, Charles Tucker. It's been three days. Three very, very long days. The strangest thing is... it hasn't been as hard now. I never thought I'd ever say this... but I'm actually enjoying my time here... even though lately things have kinda takin' a turn for the worst. I'm even starting to like Torlic... Somehow I can't believe that he would knowingly involve himself in this construction of the weapon meant to destroy Earth. He's a nice man, wise, and he has a family that he has to take care of. He told me that his friend gave him the cargo, and that he didn't know what it was. I'm not sure if he's lying or not... but I don't think he's lying personally. Still, it is strange that he'd just take some cargo and bring it to some vessel without looking to see what it was. Frankly, I don't know what ta think anymore! This whole mission is driving me crazy. And now I have a problem with T'Pol. I kissed her again today, and well... I have a feeling I may have just destroyed our friendship by it. Which is the last thing I wanted to do considering the fact that... well... I'm... in love with her. And even though I know, nothin' could ever happen between us... I'd hoped for at least a close friendship with her. But now I've just screwed that up. I guess now I'm on my own." Trip stopped it here, then looked over at T'Pol, whose eyes still were closed. He then ended his log and looked back at stars outside his window when he heard T'Pol move. She was sitting up. Trip looked at her in horror, hoping to god that she didn't hear what he'd said, but having a feeling that she did. That was twice that he'd been worried she heard something... he'd have to stop talking about T'Pol in his personal logs until he was home on Enterprise again. "You... were awake? How long have you been up?" He asked her.

"Not long." She told him, he knew she was lying, she'd heard everything. He knew it! Trip blushed lightly, feeling the tension between them. Slowly, she got out of bed. Her eyes locked once again with his. "We should talk." She then added as she stood before him, dressed in light blue silky pajamas.

Trip frowned. "Talk about what?" He asked her, but he already knew what she wanted to talk about. He was just playing dumb.

"We need to talk about the kiss." T'Pol told him, but before he could say a thing, his console beeped. Trip looked at it and smiled. "What's going on?"

"This mornin', I had the files upload everything to my console for transmission to Enterprise especially if there was anything that had anything to do with the weapon. There were a few files that were encrypted but I got 'em. They're ready to be transmitted." He explained then began to work on transmitting the information without anyone knowing. It took him less than an hour to come up with a good way to get it to Enterprise. And as soon as he was ready, he transmitted the data then looked back at T'Pol. "Now all we have to do is come up with a plan to get into that cargo bay... we'll need to figure out what's in there... none of the records say anything real important about it. We have to get in there... and soon. It won't take long before Torlic realized that encrypted files have been copied and sent to a starship. He'll find out it's us. Our times running out."

Continue to Chapter 7

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A handful of people have made comments

Ha ha ha! I'm lovin this stuff. Trip's gettin to be a slick liar. And whoa! T'pol heard him, whoa! that's crazy. I have one thing to ask of you, write fuckin quicker, im am dying here!

Another good chapter. This is now my fav fic, tied with LTBurgman's 'Tears on my heart'. Excellent. Keep writing.

No, no, no! First I was soooo happy to find another chapter and then you´ll leave us with a cliffhanger after this KISS?!?! So pleaaaaaaaaase: post chapter 7 soooon! (And have a wonderful Merry Christmas!)

Don't worry guys, it'll be coming soon, I got a great idea that I think you guys might like... I'll try to get it done as soon as I can!!!

I hope you keep your word. The wait is killing me. Nice little diversion there, keep our couple from talking about the kiss. And Archer is realizing whats been right under his nose. Good for Jonny.

Can't wait for more, update soon please!