Love and Loss - Pt 3

Love and Loss

By Triplover

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I own nothin’… and it sucks.
Summary: After a very dangerous mission Varen Tucker returns home but is not prepared for what will come next.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part Three

“Jen, they’re gonna be here in like fifteen minutes! Where the hell are you?” Archer shouted for his daughter. Finally he saw her run out of the living room grinning.

“Just cleaning up dad… we have to make this house presentable you know. I mean dad… for all of my life and you still can’t dust right?”

Archer shrugged. “Well before your mother used to do the cleaning… then you. I guess I just never got around to it.”

Jennifer shook her head giggling. “That is truly sad daddy.”

It was then that they heard a knock at the door. The two exchanged unsure looks. “You sure you’re ready for this honey? You know Varen’s gonna be here with them.”

Jennifer took in a deep breath. “I’m ready… this is no big deal… I can do this.”

Archer smiled reassuringly at his baby girl then walked to the door and opened it. “Trip! T’Pol! Varen! Come on in!”

“Hey Jon! How’s my favorite admiral?” asked Trip as he walked in.

Archer grinned at his friend. “Doing well as always.” He then looked at T’Pol. “You’re looking as beautiful as ever T’Pol.”

T’Pol’s eyebrows rose, her eyes shining… showing him the feelings her mouth could not. “As are you, Jonathan.”

She then walked past him and hugged Jennifer. It was then that Archer looked at Varen who was standing awkwardly at the door looking more nervous than he’d ever seen him in years… not since he’d taken Jennifer out on their first date in fact. “You going to just stand there kiddo or are you coming in?”

Varen smiled. “Hello Uncle Jon.”

“Hey son,” Archer greeted and grabbed him into a hug hitting his back.

Varen grinned. He had been so worried that Jon would be upset with him because of what happened with his daughter that he hadn’t talked to him in a long while. He’d avoided him… but perhaps there was no problem. It was then that he saw her. Jennifer. Every bone in his body hurt to see her. His heart felt as if it was being torn at the seams. He still loved her. “Jennifer,” he greeted her.

Jennifer hesitated. “Hey… Varen… how’ve you been?”

“I’ve been all right… you?”

“Okay I guess,” she answered then cleared her throat. “I think I’ll go check on dinner… I’m sure you guys are hungry.”

Varen let out a sigh as she left then felt Archer pat him on the back. Archer had helped his parents change his diapers for god’s sakes… this man was like family no matter what had happened with his daughter. But Varen felt guilty nonetheless. “Give it time Varen… things are still a little weird between you two but that will change. Just give it time.”

Varen nodded. “Right… time.”

==

Trip was worried… his son hadn’t said a word the entire night. It was never a good sign when Varen did that. It meant he was upset. And there was no doubt in his mind why. Ever since the big break up he hadn’t been his self. He let out a long sigh then looked over at Archer. “Jon… I just don’t know what to do with that kid. I brought him with us so we could have fun together… not so he could keep to himself the entire time.”

“I know how hard it can be to break up with a woman you care about… it’s even worse when you’re around her,” Archer said.

“He still loves her.”

“And she still loves him.”

“I just don’t get it! If they love each other… then why the hell are they broken up?!”

Archer smiled. “It’s never that easy… you should know that Trip. You and T’Pol certainly had some rough times.”

Trip grunted in agreement. “If you call me wantin’ to through myself into a wall rough times. I never would have thought things would have been so hard in the beginning. We fought more times than I’d ever thought possible!”

“Exactly… if he has any of you two inside him I doubt relationships will be any easier for him… as it was for you two.”

Trip sighed loudly. “And Jennifer gets sucked up into our bad karma,” he half joked.

Archer chuckled. “Varen’s a good kid. That’s why Jennifer fell in love with him… because he has a good heart… and apparently is just as handsome as his father. At least that’s what Jen says. Whatever happens to those two… I know things will work out somehow. They have to.”

Trip shook his head. “Not everything has a happy ending Jon….”

==

Varen stood and walked outside. He couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t take looking at her… wanting to be next to her but being unable to. This wasn’t fair! Dammit! It was then that he heard the door open. “Varen?”

It was Jennifer. “Hey.”

“You okay?”

“No.”

“What’s wrong?”

Varen turned to look at her. “I can’t be here anymore. I thought we were ready but we’re not.”

Jennifer sighed and folded her arms. “I see… what you don’t think this is just as hard for me as it is for you?”

“I know it’s hard for you Jennifer… that’s why I have to go.”

Jennifer shook her head. “So we can’t even be friends?”

Varen moved his arms to grip her. “Jennifer listen to me! We will always be friends… no matter what either of us feel at this moment. You know better than anyone that Vulcans experience emotions far stronger than humans. I just need time… I… I can’t do this.” He began walking away from her but paused when he heard her speak one last time.

“You know Varen… I miss the old days. Remember when we were kids… and I used to make you play house. Things were less complicated back then.”

“We all have to grow up some time Jen….”

At that he heard the door close and knew Jennifer was gone. He let out a long sigh. Then the door opened once again. At first he thought it was Jennifer but when he turned around it instead was his mother. “Jen… mother?”

“That is correct. What are you doing out here?”

“I have to go mother… I can’t stay here.”

“And just why not Varen?” T’Pol asked.

Varen closed his eyes then opened them and looked his mother in the eye. “I can’t do this… I can’t be here anymore. I need to go back to Vulcan.”

“Back to Vulcan?”

“Yes mother to Vulcan! I thought I could do this… I thought I could live this life but I cannot! I was foolish to think I could ever be like my father… that I could ever do what he does! I am not human I am Vulcan and it’s time I act as such! I’m going home where I will learn to suppress my emotions!”

T’Pol’s eyes widened for only a second. But she was able to gain control before it was too notice able. “You have done well so far in keeping your emotions under control.”

“I have… but there is one emotion I am unable to control. I still love her mother… and I cannot stop myself from feeling this way.”

“That is one emotion you may never be able to rid off. I certainly never could. Suppressing emotions does not solve your problems Varen… it simply gives you new ones.”

“Maybe it does… but I would welcome these new problems.”

T’Pol took a step closer. “No… you wouldn’t. Take it from someone who has had to deal with these problems. You are doing fine… you do not need to suppress your emotions. And I don’t think even Surak could ever suppress love Varen. For years I tried to deny my feelings for your father… as you may see I was never successful. And I am pleased of this. If I had kept denying what I feel… you would not be here. You remember when I told you that you and your father completed me?”

“Yes.”

“Jennifer completes you Varen… I can see it. Stop fighting what you feel.”

Varen took a step back in surprise. “You are Vulcan… how could you say that?!”

“I may be Vulcan but I am also your mother. And I simply want you to have what I have. Even Vulcan mothers wish for their children to have such peace in their life.” T’Pol moved her hand to his cheek and their eyes met. “Someone once told me something that to this day I have never forgotten. Follow your heart Varen.”

Varen shook his head. “What if my heart doesn’t even know what it wants?”

The question surprised T’Pol more than anything else could. He was more and more like her every day. “Just give it time… it will know… just give it time.”

Part 4

Return to Part 2

Back to Fan Fiction Main Menu

Have a comment to make about this story? Do so in the Trip Fan Fiction forum at the HoTBBS!

Four of you have made comments

oh *sniff* very nice. her words right back at her from her son... good job.

Loved this part, at last we get to the nitty gritty and trust T'Pol to put it succinctly for her son. Can't wait for the next part! Ali D :~)

Excellent job so far! Loved the E2 reference. Varen's having some hard times, huh? More soon, please!

I agree -- this is an excellent story, and I loved the E2 tie-in. Can't wait for the next chapter!