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Reflection - Ch 7

Author - Triplover
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Reflection

By Triplover

Disclaimer: I don’t own a thing.
Rating: R
Summary: Trip must face some old demons when a friend from the past reappears asking to stay on Enterprise as a member of the crew.

Chapter Seven

It had been nearly three days since Sim had been shot. Thankfully, he had recovered from his brush with death only to find himself fighting with the doctor for his freedom.

“Come on, I’m fine! Really Doc, you don’t need to keep me here!” he fought. He was getting very sick of sickbay. The irony was not lost on either one of them.

“I don’t know Sim, you’re still quite weak. I don’t want you coming back here again because of this. You need more rest. Perhaps I should keep an eye on you for a little while longer.”

“Phlox, you said you’d keep me here one more night but ya didn’t say anythin’ bout stayin’ all day too!”

Finally Phlox sighed. “Let me run a few more scans and then you may leave.”

Sim nodded. “Fine.”

==

When Sim finally walked out of sickbay it was nearly an hour later. Damn scans! Phlox had run almost every scan imaginable and for a while Sim didn’t think he’d ever get out of there. Thankfully Archer had come by sickbay to check on him and when Phlox could think of no more scans to run it was Archer who saved the day. Sim knew Archer could tell he wanted out and he seemed happy to help.

Archer smiled next to him. “It’s good to see you up and about Sim.”

Sim looked at the man who Trip admired most. But unlike Trip, Sim found himself most tense around the captain. No matter how hard he tried he couldn’t get that one conversation out of his mind. With all of Trip’s memories, in all of ten years Trip had never seen his captain look like he had that night with Sim. And that had scared Sim to death being that he had access to those memories.

Even if it means killin’ me?

Even if it means killing you!

The look in Archer’s eyes had sent a shiver down his spine. It was then that he realized just how desperate the captain truly was to get his friend back. And Sim had hated him for it. “Thank you Captain, it’s good to be up and about. I swear Doctor Phlox was tryin’ to drive me insane in there!”

Archer chuckled. “You're practically a son to him, Sim. What do you expect?”

Sim frowned. “Yeah….”

He felt like dirt, no he was scum; no he was lower than scum! He was the stuff scum wiped off their shoes! Technically they didn’t have shoes but the point was he couldn’t do this to these people. He couldn’t betray them and he couldn’t destroy them. For a long time after he was revived Sim had thought back to his time on Enterprise and it had made him angry. Angry at the world, angry with himself, and that soon grew to hate. Hate was a dangerous emotion, an emotion that had devoured him like a lion would meat. But he couldn’t hate these people anymore.

Anger and hate had kept Sim alive but what kind of a life did he want? Always living with the knowledge that he’d killed the only friends he ever had? His hate for them was slipping and he no longer dreamed of the revenge he’d wanted before. It had taken him a while before he lost sight of who they had been to him. He’d forgotten the friendship they’d offered even though he was pushed into something he hadn’t wanted to do. They did what they did to save Earth. How could he blame them for that?

Trip was their only chance to finding the Xindi. He was a good engineer and knew the ship better than anyone else. Everyone counted on him. He supposed that was why Sim had hated Trip so much. He envied the man who the crew of Enterprise loved. They had wanted Trip, not him. Sim had simply been a means to an end.

Sim rubbed his eyes and turned to look at Archer. “I gotta go meet Rylic. Excuse me Captain.” He left the captain and headed towards his friend's quarters. He needed to talk this out. He didn’t know what he should do anymore.

==

After watching Sim leave Archer stopped and looked back down the corridor leading to sickbay. After a few seconds went by he began walking towards sickbay. Once he was there his eyes searched for Doctor Phlox.

“Captain Archer? Is there something you need?”

Archer looked around sickbay then walked over to the doctor. “After our conversation a few days ago I had some time to think.”

“You mean the conversation about Sim’s past injuries?”

Archer nodded.

“You want to talk to him about it?”

The captain frowned shaking his head. “No, I don’t want to bring it up just yet but I can’t stop thinking about that ring. I think maybe we should have someone keep an eye on him.”

"Captain, you do realize the man you are worried about is Sim don't you. He's Trip's clone. Do you really think he'd do anything to hurt Enterprise?" Phlox asked.

"No I don't. He may not be Trip but he’s a good man. I could never believe he’d do anything like that. Still, I can’t ignore the fact that this ring on his finger could kill him at anytime if it’s activated. I want someone checking up on him. I'd rather be safe than sorry."

==

“Tesic visited me down on the planet,” Sim told Rylic.

“Oh? I’m guessing he’s wondering what’s taking so long,” Rylic muttered in mild surprise.

Sim nodded and sat in a chair nearby. “In four days I’m to destroy Enterprise or I’ll be killed.”

Rylic stood. “Then we should get to the shuttle so we can activate the weapon. We don’t have much time!”

When Rylic headed to the door Sim grabbed his arm and looked up at him. “No, I won’t do it.”

“Sim? You have got to be kidding me! The master will kill you! You’ll suffer worse than anything you’ve ever imagined!” Rylic fought in surprise. It was stupid. Sim knew that. And the fact was he knew how painful his death would be, it scared the hell out of him. But there was something that scared him even more. And that was the thought of living as a monster instead of dying as a real man. Trip’s father used to say that.

A man can die two ways son. He can die a hero or he can die a monster. A real man would die a hero. Only a coward would die as a monster. Which one do you want to be?

It was a question Trip had heard often through out his life. Sim now knew the answer to that question. “I won’t kill the only people in this universe that have shown me kindness,” Sim said calmly. Rylic wasn’t quite as calm.

“I thought you hated them!”

“I did, but not anymore. Rylic, the master won’t kill you if we don’t do this. It’ll only be me that dies. I’m the clone remember? I’m the scum of the universe. I’m not a human being. I’m an animal. I won’t help destroy them. Tesic and his people don’t care a damn about me!”

Rylic shook his head. “This is stupid Sim! If you do this, then everyone will finally look at you as a full blood! The master will have Tesic treat you as an equal! You won’t be an animal to Tesic and his people anymore!”

“I’m a clone Rylic! Tesic will never see me as one of them! I will never be human to the people on that ship! I will always be scum and you know it! I’m sorry Rylic but I won’t do it. I won’t do this to my friends.”

Rylic sat back on the bed shaking his head. “They killed you to save someone like them. They didn’t care about you. They never showed you kindness. They killed you to save the one that they deemed more important,” he reminded Sim.

“I would only live fifteen days. Trip would be able to live much longer. They didn’t have the technology to prolong my life and they were on a mission to save Earth from being destroyed by the Xindi. I don’t blame them for savin’ him. It was the only way. I didn’t want to accept it then because my life had barely begun but now that I have the chance to live longer I see that I don’t want a long life if it means doin’ somethin’ that’d be with me for the rest of that life. I want to die knowing I did something right, that I made a difference in someone’s life. I won’t die knowin’ I killed people who have never treated me the way the master, Tesic, hell all of those people have,” Sim told him before standing and smiling down at his friend. “I’m sorry Rylic, but life isn’t worth livin’ if you’re nothin’ but a monster. And I won’t be a monster.”

==

T’Pol had been trying to keep busy all day. Mostly because when she finally had time to think about what happened those same questions would pop up in her mind, questions about why Sim did what he did. How could someone she barely knew mean so much to her. What he’d done to save her life, he obviously cared about her. With Sim she knew exactly what ran through his mind. T’Pol knew how he felt about her.

It was not the same with Trip and that was what bothered her most. Why was Sim so open to his feelings for her but Trip wasn’t? She hadn’t eaten a thing all day and was only now finding the time to get something. Everyone had already eaten dinner so the mess hall would be empty. She didn’t feel like seeing anyone. She didn’t want to talk to anyone. She was just so confused.

Finally she reached the mess hall and was surprised to see Sim standing by the window with rocky road ice cream in his hand. She should have known. He was always in the mess hall. He took another spoonful and ate it smiling at the taste. “Well Trip, if there was one good thing I’d say about you it's that you have damn good taste,” he whispered shaking his head. T’Pol took another step closer and Sim looked up from his ice cream. “T’Pol? What are you doin’ here so late?”

“I was hungry. I haven’t eaten all day.”

Sim nodded. “Join me, you’ve gotta try this ice cream.”

T’Pol walked over to him. Sim then took a spoonful and moved the spoon towards her. She opened her mouth hesitantly and allowed him to feed her the ice cream against her better judgment. It was good. “You are correct about one thing. The Commander does have good taste.”

Sim chuckled. “Yes the Commander does,” he agreed and put the bowl down before folding his arms and looking her in the eyes. “You look tired.”

“I’ve been working all day.”

“Looks like you’ve been workin’ a little too much, T’Pol.”

T’Pol frowned and let out a sigh before turning to look out at the stars passing by. “Why did you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Why not just warn me about the man, or shoot him yourself? Why did you risk your life to get me out of harms way?” she asked.

Sim cocked his head. “I acted on instinct. The only thing that went through my head at that moment was makin’ sure you were safe. Even if that meant givin’ up my own life,” he told her.

“But why? Why risk your life to save mine?”

Sim smiled. “You know why.”

“If I did I would not be asking you it now,” T’Pol pointed out.

“You really don’t know?” Sim was rather surprised. He’d think by now she knew the intense feelings he had for her.

“Know what?”

“T’Pol, I… I… I love you. Weren’t you listenin’ that night I came to your quarters? I’d think you’d realize how I feel by now. You mean the world to me. You’re the reason I’m still here!” Sim let out an exasperated sigh. He had to tell her. It was the only way she’d understand the feelings he had for her. “I lied when I said the people who revived me were good to me. I was livin’ in hell over there. I was a clone. I didn’t matter to them. They would just use me, everythin’ was for their benefit.” Sim turned around and pulled up his shirt before T’Pol could say anything.

T’Pol’s eyes widened as she saw the severe scars on his back, they completely covered his back. They were mostly stab wounds and a few burns. She also noticed some on his arms; they were all over the place, a few scars ran around to his stomach, it was a horrible sight.

“Who did this to you?” she asked, lightly touching one scar that stood out the most. It was on his lower back, a huge burn mark. She could not believe someone would do something like this to another person even though she had seen it done before in her lifetime.

“The people who revived me wanted me to do things I didn’t want to do. Hurting people. I wouldn’t listen so they would beat me till I did,” he told her before letting his shirt fall back down and turning around to meet her steady gaze. “A few times they’d set fire to my back. Or they’d stab me. Once they just kicked me all night till every one of my ribs were broken. But they never touched my face. It was always the lower part of my body. I resisted them. I wanted to die, to just give up but I didn’t. I fought because I wanted to see your beautiful face. I knew if I could escape that this would be the only place I could find refuge. All I could think about was kissing you one last time. You were the only one who really treated me for who I was. I was a person with you and not just Trip’s clone. I couldn’t help thinking about the last time I saw you.”

He touched her face gently. T’Pol closed her eyes. Sim smiled and bent down to kiss her. Soon the kiss grew into more as they wrapped their arms around each other. T’Pol’s arms were around his neck pulling him towards her while his rested at her waist. The kiss grew deeper and deeper and soon his tongue traveled into her mouth. She didn’t seem to mind because she moved hers right next to his. It was then that he felt her freeze.

==

Trip had decided to walk into the mess hall. He’d wanted a nice snack but he could never have been prepared for what he saw. He was stunned by the sight of himself kissing T’Pol, of Sim kissing T’Pol. He dropped the cup of tea that had been in his hand and the two broke apart to look at him. “Uh sorry, I… I… I didn’t… mean… to uh… interrupt,” he stuttered and turned around walking out as fast as he could. His heart was beating hard in his chest till it hurt so much he wanted to cry. He’d never felt like this before.

==

Sim cursed loudly as T’Pol began to move away from Sim slowly. Her eyes stayed focused on the door where Trip had entered and left. Sim looked over at her and sighed. “I’m sorry, T’Pol. I’m not usually like that!”

T’Pol finally looked over at him. She at that moment realized the mistake she had just made but perhaps now it was too late. “No Sim, it is I who should apologize. I have made a great error.”

Sim cocked his head. “What do you mean T’Pol?” T’Pol said nothing and soon Sim began to realize what she was saying. He could see the regret in her eyes. “You love Trip.” It wasn’t a question.

T’Pol closed her eyes for a quick second before she walked to the door and picked up the mug Trip had dropped. She’d been kissing Sim but in her mind Sim wasn’t himself, he was Trip. He was the person she wanted Trip to be. The one that would finally tell her how he felt. The one that loved her and wasn’t afraid to show it to her or anyone else. “I must go,” she whispered and put the mug down before leaving Sim alone.

Sim again cursed and turned back around to look out at the stars. He knew how Trip felt about T’Pol, why the hell had he done that?! What the hell could have going through his mind? Maybe these feelings had been Trip’s. He just couldn’t get her out of his mind. He wanted her just as Trip wanted her. But he hadn’t known how T’Pol felt about Trip until now. She did love Trip. “She doesn’t love me.” Sim let out a sigh and ran his hand through his hair. “She doesn’t love you, you damn idiot!” He shook his head slowly before noticing a chip from the mug Trip had been holding. It must have broken off when Trip dropped it. Sim though of the look on Trip’s face, the one he’d seen just seconds ago. Even with the combination of both Trip and Sim’s memories he never remembered anyone looking so hurt. He needed to make things right.



Chapter 8

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A whole mess of folks have made comments

Love the story, please update soon!

Excellent!
I feel sorry for Trip, Sim and T'Pol!
Oh what a tangle web we weave!
Can't wait to see your next chapter!

I LOVED IT, I HOPE NOW THAT T'POL HAS FOUND WHERE HER TRUE FEELINGS LIE.I THINK THAT SIM IS DONE , HE PROBABLY HAS NO REASON TO LIVE NOW. YOU ARE PROBABLY GOING TO HAVE TO KILL HIM OFF, THERE CANNOT BE TWO "TRIPS".

"THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE"

How poignant that it should be just as Sim embraces the humanity he was cloned from that this should happen. I feel sorry for just about everybody but also relieved that T'Pol has finally admitted to herself what her heart knew all along. The one she really loves and needs is Trip. Ali D :~)

Poor Trip.
Poor Sim.
Poor T'Pol
Wonderful story.
Write more soon Pleeese. The suspence is killing me I need more.

Please excuse me.T&T can be extremly addictive. I wiil be patient.

"Even with the combination of both Trip and Sim’s memories he never remembered anyone looking so hurt."

Oh, NOOOOOOOO!

We NEED an update ASAP!

T'Pol, now is not the time to be inarticulate...

Make sure Trip knows EXACTLY what you feel or he'll never recover! :sob:

Great chapter...update soon, PLEASE! :grovel, grovel:

What a wonderful chapter. Poor Trip, and poor Sim.I don't want Sim to be killed. The poor man has been through so much. I hope you have a happy ending in store for him and I hope T'pol goes after Trip and lets him know that she loves him and not Sim. Please update soon. Thank you.

Wow! This is the BEST CHAPTER yet! What a dilemma! (Add wow, even more nasty than being caught smooching on the porch swing by your dad... Trip must've felt like he'd been keel-hauled!) Great stuff, can't wait for more!

Great chapter. I have devised the perfect plan for Sim/Trip problem, wait for it...We clone T'Pol call her Polly hook her up with Sim, send them of together on ship heading for the Delta Quadrant, then bring back Voyager and have then guest star. Any chance of that happening?

Awwww... goosebumps all over...
This is Similitude all over again... the best kiss ever - with the wrong Tucker!
Hope T'Pol finds the strengh to finally set things right with Trip.
Please update soon!

*swoons*

Go kiss and make up, Polly. That'll teach you to spend time with rifraff like that Sim guy. ;)