The Tides of Space - Chapter 3, by Linda

The Tides of Space

by Linda

~~~

Chapter 3: The Bonding

Liz did not want Kov to stay on the Vahklas after she returned to Earth. She wanted him to stay with her so they could continue to deepen their relationship. But she felt that she had to assure herself of Kov’s affection. So at their next meal she broached the subject. “Now Kov, I have always felt that I was in the shadow of my brother whenever we were together or whenever he was mentioned by someone I was talking with. It is like you said you felt whenever you and your sister were together. While that gave you comfort, sometimes it was irritating. I would appreciate being liked only for myself and not as an attachment to my brother.”

Kov sat looking at Liz for a minute. “I see you as a separate person. But you are very like your brother, you remind me of him and I like that. That is why it is disconcerting to see you act differently than him at times. But some of the differences, I do like. I may not see him for a very long time, so I look to you to see the friend I miss. But you are thinking I don’t like you enough for yourself?”

“Yes. I would like it when we are together, for us to not talk about him all the time.”

“But Liz, it is you that brings him up most of the time.”

“I do? Really?”

“He must be always on your mind,” said Kov.

Liz furrowed her brow. “Perhaps he is. You know, you would have a better chance of seeing him if you stayed on Earth when you return us home. I would like you to stay. You could easily find employment. A Vulcan engineer is a rare and valuable employee for Human corporations. And I want you to meet my parents.”

Kov wondered if this meant the same as him bringing Liz home to meet his parents. “Do you think they would accept my attentions to you?”

“Like dating me? Of course they would be concerned. They would probably pump Trip for all the information that they could get about you.”

“What is dating?” Kov asked, knowing this had something to do with Human mating rituals, but finding no equivalent in his experience.”

“Well, like going out to dinner, just the two of us. Or seeing a movie together or going dancing.”

Kov brightened. “Oh! Like Trip did not do with the girl in his school.”

Liz laughed. “He told you about that? My, you two really did become close. I thought he only shared that with me and our other brother.”

Kov raised both eyebrows. “So by this sharing, he would consider me a close friend?”

“Definitely Kov. Although Trip usually appears cheerful, which is a mild emotion, he does not share his emotions that freely. I don’t see that he is much more open about his emotions than you are. And I am not either for that matter.”

Kov sighed. Perhaps a bonding between a Vulcan and a Human would not be impossible after all. If he could have the intimacy and support of a mate who would have a similar life span and would not produce a child, that might be a logical answer to his problem. Although his branch of the family would cease, there would be no more suffering from the dreadful condition it carried.

….

The inertial dampers were not quite what they should have been. They were just one more of the ship’s systems that were starting to have problems. After picking up Liz at her cabin one morning on his way to the mess deck, the ship gave a substantial shiver. Liz lost her footing and bumped into Kov. He put his arm around her waist to steady her and she reached an arm around his waist. They continued their walk cautiously holding each other and they almost fell against Tolaris who met them from an adjoining companionway.

Tolaris smiled. “Is this another Human custom you are picking up Kov? I approve of exploring emotions with them in a controlled setting. But really, you must maintain your Vulcan dignity.”

Kov pulled Liz even closer. There was a detectable edge to his voice. “Logic dictates that we protect our Human guests. Since our strength is greater, we must insulate them from this shaky old ship, even if we must touch them to do it.”

“How convenient that it must involve touch. Need some help?” Tolaris leaned close to Liz. “Liz, let me also give you some physical support. Besides I’d like to talk with you about how architecture on your world reflects your culture’s mythology.” He reached out as if to touch her. Kov felt Liz shrink closer against him. He sensed she was afraid of Tolaris.

“Back off you unconscionable lecher!” Kov surprised himself with his own vehemence. “She doesn’t want to meet with you at any time. Can’t you see that?”

“Why not let HER say it then,” murmured Tolaris still smiling, “Maybe she is just shy but really would like to talk with me.”

“No,” answered Liz, “I am enjoying Kov’s company. That is enough for me now. He is my brother’s friend.”

Tolaris persisted. “Suit yourself. But I’d watch myself if I were you. Kov is behaving like he senses a male rival if you know what that means. Are you approaching your time Kov? I am surprised because some of us were speculating that you were one of those rare males with female feelings and when your time came, you would be chasing after one of us.”

Tolaris never saw it coming. The next thing he knew, he was trying to keep himself from sliding down the wall of the companionway where Kov had shoved him. The action was so fast Liz barely tracked the movements. But a tall slim Vulcan had little chance against a shorter, stockier Vulcan who was used to climbing up and down ship’s ladders and lifting heavy equipment all day. Stunned, Tolaris concentrated on trying to breathe again. He coughed and regained his balance. “Ok. We may have been wrong. Or was that just an excuse to touch me too?” Tolaris backed away when he saw the look in Kov’s eye. “Ok, ok. But Liz, if you get tired of old engine parts and want to have a real intellectual conversation, you know who to come and find.” With these words Tolaris brushed past Kov, and tilting his head at Liz, widened his smile in an inviting way, before moving on down the companionway.

“What an oily character. He makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up.” Liz looked at Kov wide-eyed.

Kov looked at her neck as if to verify the hairs, which made Liz laugh. Then Kov looked directly at her with a stern expression. “He is notorious among us Liz. Don’t let yourself ever be alone with him. There was something that happened on your brother’s ship that he was involved in which made Captain Archer cut short our visit. Tavin is reticent about it, but I noticed he has been keeping what Humans call ‘a short leash’ on Tolaris even if he is second in command of the ship. If it had not been for Tolaris, your brother and I would have had more time to develop our friendship. So you see I am not that fond of Tolaris either.

….

It was stressful keeping the ship’s deteriorating condition from the guests and most of the crew. So Kov had asked Liz to help him relax with a technique other than meditation.
They were on Kov’s bunk. It was the first time Liz had been deeper in Kov’s quarters than his office. She ran her hand down his spine, exploring each vertebra as if trying to discern the differences between Human and Vulcan physiology. It sent electric shocks throughout Kov’s body beyond the relaxation he had intended with this neuro pressure. Kov responded to Liz’s soft touch by turning to instinctively touch the katra points on her face but changed his mind and pulled his hand away. No, not yet. He wanted to perceive what Humans felt, what sensations they were limited to. He was entering dangerous areas with her now, and he found it difficult to stop himself from doing things the Vulcan way. “Liz,” he whispered, “you did not feel discomfort when we did a slight meld so I could make you feel sleepy and free you from that headache?”

“No, Kov. That was quite effective, and quite gentle. I am not afraid of you. I trust you. Do you want to try a deeper meld? Like what T’Bin said she and her mate Sipok can do to calm each other?” Kov turned over to face Liz and she pressed her nose against his chest, taking a slow breath, “You make me feel so wanted. You say this is mild but it is like nothing I have ever experienced before.”

Kov could barely contain his emotion at this point. The rich complexity of it thrilled through him. “I would never knowingly hurt you. But I am completely inexperienced with the direction our relationship is heading. And the differences in our species…I don’t know what the effect will be. I am going totally on instinct here.”

“Perhaps that is the best way. Maybe the only way.” And nothing seemed to matter to them but the presence of each other. They remained in a light but silent embrace until Liz broke away to return to her quarters.

….

Thomas was considering staying on with the Vulcans after his fellow students returned to Earth. It had been his girlfriend Nancy who had talked him into this voyage. Her Aunt Betty, the colonist leader, had told Nancy of the trip and Nancy had wanted to see the colony where her beloved aunt would be spending the rest of her life. Nancy was a weaver and was considering joining her aunt after finishing college. The sheep were her idea. She had convinced her aunt of their compatibility with the new colony world and of their usefulness. This was her greatest triumph so far in maintaining the good opinion of her aunt, which she craved.

Lately though, Nancy had been seeking out the company of Tolaris and Simak. The Vulcan males were quite a distraction and so different from the seemingly cold and disdainful ones who passed her without a glance in the halls of academe at MIT. Sharon Linton, her roommate on the Vahklas, was spending nights away from their quarters. She had withdrawn a bit from their friendly initial banter and had made no objection when on her occasional returns for clothing changes, found Thomas in bed with Nancy. One day, Sharon’s suitcase went missing from their quarters, so Thomas moved in with Nancy. In the mess hall the next day, Nancy found Sharon alone at a table and joined her. “Sharon, mind if I ask a direct question?”

“Depends.”

“Ok, here it is. Are you sleeping with Simak?”

“Yes if that is any of your business.”

Nancy stuttered “I, well, you see, its just that I have been hanging out with him and Tolaris and didn’t want to step on your toes.”

“Ah. Well, you haven’t so far.” Sharon relaxed a bit. “I may stay aboard and not return to Earth.”

“That serious, eh? Not just curiosity about, you know, the difference in experience with males of difference species? I really am tempted, but there is Thomas and I think he and I are well suited. But a little side dalliance is so attractive in these circumstances.”

Sharon pushed some bland Vulcan tofu-like substance around on her plate. “Nancy, you have to be careful. Vulcans, even these V’tosh, do not take relationships lightly. Except for Tolaris perhaps. Simak has told me he has had more than one girl in his quarters for over night stays. The man is an emotional vampire. Be careful. Thomas and Tolaris are friends, at least on the surface. If you are just curious, why not just ask Thomas about Vulcan males? He speaks the language. They seem to relax with him. I’ll bet the subject of sex has been discussed. I don’t think male Vulcan talk is much different than male Human talk. At least among the V’tosh.”

Nancy finished her Vulcan tea before she responded. “I guess I am not that adventurous, just curious. It is just that if I start pumping Thomas for info he may think I am about to dump him. I’m not. I really love Thomas. But you have a point. Thomas is the best source for that.” Nancy slapped her hands on the table and pushed herself up. “See you Sharon.”

….

As with Human males, and with humanoids evolved on many worlds, sexual arousal can be set off by many things in Vulcan males. Of course due to physiology and cultural means of emotional repression, it rarely becomes more than a mild inconvenience for Vulcans accept at certain times. But on the Vahklas, everyone was encouraged to note, if not explore, any twinges in their emotional makeup. So Kov, who had yet to experience his first Pon farr, was not surprised at the growing urgency of his attraction to Liz. Out of respect for her brother, whose good will he did not want to loose, he kept the depth of his feeling to himself until Liz broached the subject with her own feelings for him. This came up during one of their routine companionable evenings in his little office.

“Kov, you remember that boyfriend back on my home world I told you about? The one who turned out not to be good for me? It took me a long time to realize the relationship was not right for me though it was what HE wanted. Maybe Vulcans can make a logical choice which usually is the right one, but Humans have to learn by doing at times. At first I thought that relationship would be for life. We lived together. He was the cultural ideal in looks and family background. But I have learned that the cultural ideal is not suitable to every individual. You certainly would not be considered a good choice for a human woman by many standards. But I feel you are a lot closer to what would be a good mate for me than Jack was.” Liz paused to sip her tea and gauge Kov’s reaction.

She continued. “And I know that you had to break off your engagement. It is ok if you don’t want to talk about it, but I am curious to compare it with my experience. I saw a discussion with Vulcan diplomats on the media on earth where they answered cultural questions. They said that Vulcans had evolved beyond the kinds of problems that Humans had in their mating process.” Liz paused, then reiterated her concern in touching on a sensitive subject. “It is ok if you do not want to discuss it as I realize that Vulcans keep these things more private than Humans seem to.”

Kov practically choked on his tea. He seemed to emit what was almost a laugh. “Liz, don’t believe everything diplomats say. They want to present our culture in the best possible light. Although breaking off my engagement is not the norm and neither was the reason, don’t ever think that Vulcans are above marital problems. And I think, to use a Human phrase, that ‘sweeping them under the rug’ with repression techniques only continues the problem. That is part of the reason I am on this ship. We are trying to find better ways to deal with emotional problems.”

Liz gazed shyly at Kov over the teacup she was holding up to her mouth. She then put it down and looked at him with determination. “I am glad to hear I can discuss this with you, because you are the first male I have been able to relax with since I broke it off with Jack. I was quite angry at all males for a while. Even my brothers. I like you a lot though, enough to again consider a more intimate relationship ” Liz lifted the teacup again to take a sip and returned to gazing at Kov from behind it.

All the sensations associated with Liz washed through Kov at once. He struggled to contain them before he spoke. “Liz, I don’t know if you have sensed from me that I am becoming romantically attracted to you, but I am. It is conflicting with the feelings of protection I have as a kind of substitute for your brother. I would never do anything with you that your family would object to.”

“Oh Kov, there is nothing wrong with that! What my family would feel about any relationship between us has nothing to do with how we behave with each other. Really, in my culture there are lots of cases of families not approving of the mates people choose and that does not stop the relationships. It does make things more difficult for the families but most eventually accept the relationships. I don’t know if there have been romantic encounters between Vulcans and Humans, but the way I am feeling about you, I am sure there must have been many over the past hundred years our species have been in contact.”

Liz was not prepared for Vulcan frankness that kicks in once a subject has been broached. Kov now felt that all impediments had been removed. But again he struggled to express himself calmly. “Liz if I even touch you right now, we will end up in my bed. And if that happens, I may not be able to stop initiating a telepathic link that would bind us for life. My people are not called Vulcans without reason. Like our planet we contain a turbulent furnace deep within. We are playing with fire here. So leave now and let me cool off or we may not be able to stop what we appear to be starting.”

Liz took a deep breath. She tried to sort through her own emotions. “I never felt so sure of a male. Not even during the whole time with Jack. Kov, I love you and I don’t care what anyone else thinks about that. I want you to be a part of the rest of my life.”

Kov placed his hands on his desk for a moment and looked down at them as if to center himself before meditation. When he looked up at Liz again, no one of any species could have missed the deep feeling expressed on his face. He got up and walked over to Liz. She untucked her legs from her quilt-nest, placed her bare feet on the metal deck, and reached up to him with both arms. He pulled her up into a tender embrace, her long hair cascading over his arms. She trembled at the warmth of his skin and the electric feel of the telepathic touch running down her arms. Her arms barely reached around his neck over his ample frame.

For a minute they were still, feeling each other’s breathing. Then Kov broke their embrace and lifted her up with his arms supporting her back and under her knees. She was so light, so fragile. He felt so awkward as if he might crush her as he put her down on the narrow bunk, which was not made for such activities. He lay down pulling her half on top of him. It was difficult removing clothing in this position but like many others on crowded ships, they managed it. Their movements became a blur of increasing physical desire and satisfaction over the next hour in Liz’s perception. For Kov, each moment became sharply engraved in eidetic memory.

….

Liz woke slowly. She was feeling uncomfortably warm so she kicked at the covers to free her feet. That had always helped on extremely hot and muggy Florida nights. But her foot met with an obstruction, someone else’s foot. No! She had told Jack not to ever come back. Had he returned the key to her house? She could not remember. But this room was not like her bedroom. Then she remembered. She was on the Vahklas and last night she and Kov….

Kov was still asleep, she thought. She pressed her ear against his side under the arm he had resting over her head and down her back. She could detect his faster than Human pulse. She scooted down a couple of inches and pressed her ear to his side again. Stronger. Where was his heart? She remembered it was lower than a Human’s. Liz propped herself up on her elbow to reach higher across his chest and again pressed her ear against him. There! It must be close.

“What are you doing tal-kam” Kov’s voice resonated through his chest into the ear she had pressed there.

“I was looking for your heart. As close as we have become, I should really know were it actually is.”

Liz felt Kov stir. Silent laughter reverberated through his chest. He reached to pull her up so her face was closer to his. She forgot his body heat was what was making her feel so warm. In fact she was feeling warmer herself because desire was stirring in her body again. Before last night, the revulsion she felt from that humiliating relationship with Jack had so outstripped her sexual urges that she thought she never would allow a man near her again. But now she was touched by gentle hands. Protected. Cherished. She had never imagined this level of loving was possible. All else about life just did not matter anymore.

Liz patted Kov’s abdomen “You are such a cuddly alien.”

Kov ran a finger along the curve of her hip. “Who is the alien? You are on MY ship.”

“Acknowledged,” giggled Liz. Then she added: “But we are speaking English, you are in my language. So you are the alien there. You have a funny accent when you speak English.”

“So do you have a funny accent in English. So, who is right?”

“We both are.” Liz was relishing their activities of the evening before. She slid her hand down Kov’s body, provocatively exploring. “It was so easy to find last night. Where is…”

“If that is what you are feeling for, it has retracted itself back inside my body.”

Liz continued her exploring. “Oh yes, I found it. That is an interesting difference from Human anatomy.” Liz was fascinated that such things made little difference in the throes of lovemaking.

Kov enjoyed this banter. “Different from the Human male? Yes that is one of the first things I noticed when I was accessing our alien database to learn more about Humans.”

“I’ll bet it was. What is it about males? I’ll bet your database is a kind of interspecies virtual locker room. Trip admitted once after a couple of beers and some intense sisterly teasing that in the high school locker room guys surreptitiously compare themselves…”

Kov pushed a long blond hair off his nose and back in place down the side of its owner’s ear before he responded. “Vulcans don’t have locker rooms. And they don’t get into the male rival mode until a potential mate is threatened. Accessing a database is only a logical first step in the study of any species to see what the anatomy is because that can have a controlling influence on behavior and cultural development.”

“You are so sincerely logical sometimes it is almost out of place. But I love it.” Liz felt so comfortable now that intimacy between them had finally occurred, breaking the tension of desire and uncertainty. She sighed and closed her eyes.

“Liz, are you still awake?”

“Yes Kov, are you?” She felt his silent laughter at her little joke. He did not say her question was illogical.

“I am moving my things out of Bev and T’Via’s room today and bringing them here.”

“Of course. That would be logi…appropriate now.”

“Will Tavin mind us being together?” she asked.

“I think not. You are not the first Human of your group to make alternate arrangements on this voyage.”

“Really? Well, I am not that surprised.” Liz then thought of something she had been concerned about. “You didn’t plan on staying on the Vahklas for the rest of your life, did you?”

“No. But I can not see returning to Vulcan where my father might be able to force a reconnection with the mate he chose for me.”

Liz seemed worried. “Doesn’t our relationship change that? Would you like to return to your home world? I might be able to get work there.”

“Of course our relationship changes everything. I would rather live on your world for awhile, where we both could get work. I would like to meet the rest of your family.” Kov was sure that would be easier than trying to deal with HIS family.

“They would like you. I know they would,” insisted Liz.

Kov’s call bell chimed. He reached across Liz and answered it. Tavin’s voice spoke in rapid Vulcan. Liz knew Vulcan inflection enough to sense that something else had gone wrong with the ship. She sat up so Kov could get up, as he was reaching for his shirt.

“Liz, I am taking a quick shower. I am needed on the bridge, but meet me in the mess deck in an hour. I think that is all the time I will need to take care of this latest problem.

…..

Liz had breakfast with T’Via who wanted to know where she had been all night. T’Via said “Kov? Really? Our troll of the engine room? Well, it is a relief that he finally has someone. We were all wondering which one of us would have to accommodate him when his time came, if we could not get to a monastery in time.”

“Is he really considered an undesirable mate among Vulcan women? I find him a far better lover than the Human I was with for two years. And Kov said it was the first time for him.” Liz was becoming very defensive of Kov.

“Well, he does not take care of himself. Any Vulcan male who allows himself to get that heavy… And you know that his life span is extremely short because of that medical condition. It will barely exceed the short Human lifespan, if you will pardon my candor.”

Liz did not mind the candor or criticism of things Human. She DID mind any criticism of her new mate. “He did tell me about his life expectancy. No wonder he is interested in Human culture. But he did say the medication he has to take makes it difficult to stay trim.”

“That well may be. I am happy you two have found each other. Are you going to leave the Vahklas? It will be difficult for Tavin to replace Kov. He has had great trouble keeping this old tub from disintegrating.”

“Yes, he is coming home with me. I have a major commission to work on. A corporate headquarters building. I think Kov would rather go to my home world than his own because he broke with his intended mate.”

“I know what my Vulcan family would say if I took a Human mate. I would not be ALLOWED to come home. Being V’Tosh is bad enough, but they would welcome me back if I changed my views; as long as I did not drag an alien into their home. I think it wise for you and Kov to live on your world. Would YOUR family accept him?”

“They would be surprised at first, but polite to him, I think. I can’t imagine them not liking Kov once they get to know him.”

“What about a child? Doesn’t your family expect you to have one?”

“Probably. But we could adopt if we wanted, I suppose.” Liz had never had more than a vague idea about having children. Of course she knew her parents wanted grandchildren, but one brother had already provided some. She, like Trip, had always been more career focused.

T’Via started to leave when she saw Kov approaching. “Well you two must have a lot to talk over now. I must go to lead a guided meditation session.”

Kov moved a chair so he could sit next to Liz instead of across from her. That was extremely intimate for a Vulcan, and he meant it to be a sign to others that said ‘potential male rivals back off’. He had informed Tavin of their new relationship and was surprised that Tavin had been expecting it. All the possible problems that might impede their relationship seemed to be falling away.

….

Tavin was a good leader and extremely perceptive about his people. After three weeks studying the Humans in their natural habitat, he suspected that if he offered a hundred of them three weeks on the Vahklas, his little community would grow by 4.5 people. He had factored in the chance that he might be loosing 2.3 of his own people to that extremely inviting and varied planet. He had hoped to lose Tolaris, not Kov. If he lost Tolaris to Earth, he would then have to warn the Human authorities and the Vulcan embassy about Tolaris’s predilections. Tavin did care about the impression other people formed of his culture and home world. He noted that in spite of their perilous journey, life carried on aboard the Vahklas. Humans were becoming adept at Vulcan meditation and Vulcans were telling jokes. Their laughter was genuine. There were a few interspecies couples now, and it appeared these pairings might become permanent. Tavin started to consider that maybe a V’tosh colony was possible. He realized he could not keep this ship functional for much longer.

The relationship of Liz and Kov was noted by those who were in the mess deck and the word spread quickly through the small ship. Later that day, the resident priestess, T’Bin, asked Kov about a bonding ceremony. It had been awhile since her services in that area had been needed and she wanted to keep her ritual skills up to par. T’Via offered to help Liz make a ritual robe and asked if Kov possessed one. Things seemed to be moving very fast for Liz, but she was not objecting to the direction. She had known Kov only six weeks. It had taken Jack five months after meeting Liz to get her into bed. And now she was making a lifetime commitment with someone she had just met who was of an extremely different culture. Was this a foolish decision? Did things really happen this fast? Her whole being knew that sometimes they did. She had discovered her soul mate, the missing pieces of herself. Together they were whole, complete.

The bonding ritual was quietly done at the end of the next day. It surprised Liz that such an important event was so matter of fact. If her family had been able to be there she might have done a very un-Vulcan think like cry. Yet the solemnness helped her focus on the importance of this major change in her life. She welcomed it. She was happy.

….

Liz stirred. Kov turned so he could reach an arm across her and pull her closer. “Lizzie, Lizzie,” he murmured. Her hair smelled of Earth flowers and Vulcan herbs, a combination of the soaps she washed in. She was so soft, so cool, and so lovingly his.

This, he thought, was what life was all about: companionship, physical intimacy, growing old together. This was what both Liz and he agreed they wanted. He had tried for years to find the meaning of life in a balance between logic and emotion. It was ironic that he only had to find the right companion in order to think existence was worth the struggle, worth the sadness that comes with sentience and the knowledge life was all too brief.

Continue to Chapter 4

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