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Want of a Nail - part 5Want Of A Nail By Blackn’blue Rating: G Genre: Angst? Drama? You decide.
Part 5 - Conclusion:
The reply came very quickly. “Tucker here. How’s it going up there?” “The healers have finished their examination and confirmed Dr. Phlox’s original results. I will now be able to file the required paperwork to have Elizabeth declared a Vulcan citizen.” T’Pol winced and drew back a little at the victory yell that came through the speaker. “I also wish to visit the Vulcan compound immediately to obtain some warmer clothing for her and some other Vulcan baby supplies that I need. Would you like to come with us?” “Don’t go anywhere without me. I am on the way. Tucker out.” “You are welcome to ride with us Commander,” Healer Kerlek gallantly offered. T’Pol accepted the peace offering with dignity. She hoped that Trip could contain his irritation long enough for them to get to San Francisco without incident. The best laid plans of mice and Vulcans gang aft agley however. T’Pol was still assembling her diaper bag supplies and waiting for Trip to arrive from engineering when the intercom went off with a screaming alarm. “Tactical Alert! Tactical Alert! All Hands To Battle Stations!” T’Pol sprang like a cat to hand Elizabeth to Phlox, who took her in one smooth motion as if they had been practicing for years. She turned and dashed for the door, yelling over her shoulders, “All three of you will remain here until you receive further instructions.” She took off for the turbo lift at a dead run, passing other crew members heading in both directions. Everyone kept their heads down and focused all their attention on getting their backsides to where they were supposed to be at top speed, paying no attention to what anyone else was doing. The lift stopped and T’Pol leaped aboard, stumbling straight into Trip’s chest. The door closed and he steadied her as they resumed the ascent to the bridge. Her look told him the answer before he asked it. “You don’t know what happened either?” She shook her head. The door opened and they got to their posts in a hop and a jump, relieving the beta shift officers who turned over the reins with visible relief. Ambassador Soval was on the main view screen talking to the captain. “Our personnel are evacuating as quickly as possible Captain Archer. If the information that your prisoner provided is accurate the bomb is scheduled to go off in precisely 7 minutes and 9 seconds. This will not be sufficient time for everyone to escape from the compound. However, it will at least allow time to save our women and children. We are deeply grateful.” “Don’t give up yet Ambassador,” Archer said between his teeth. He turned to the engineering station. “Trip, get down to the transporter and start locking on Vulcan life signs in the compound down there. Beam them up as fast as possible. Start with the Ambassador himself, that way he can direct you with the rest.” “I’m on it, Cap’n.” Trip was already in the turbo lift by the time he finished. “Send us your coordinates Ambassador,” Archer instructed firmly. Soval gave him a look and sighed. “Very well captain.” He manipulated something off screen. “They have been sent.” “Got them sir,” Hoshi murmured. “Sending them down to Commander Tucker.” Soval stood up, shimmered, and disappeared from the screen. “He’s here, Cap’n,” Trip’s voice came through. T’Pol told them, “I am routing sensor data directly to Commander Tucker’s console.” “I’ll just start at the back of the compound and work my way toward the front. That work for you, Soval?” Trip’s voice sounded again. “It seems as logical an approach as any,” Soval agreed. A moment later a muted whine came through the intercom and Soval was heard briskly telling someone, “Please clear the pad for the next arrival. Proceed down the corridor and await further instructions.” “Perfect,” Archer sagged back against his chair. “T’Pol, is there anything you can do to help from up here?” She shook her head. “Then head down there and organize a welcoming committee for our guests. Warn Phlox in case some of them are hurt or sick. The ones that aren’t hurt can go to the mess hall or wherever you think we have room. Let’s keep this operation tight people. Malcolm, make sure that your team keeps an eye on things. I don’t want any nasty surprises. And post someone in sickbay to watch over Elizabeth.” T’Pol stopped at the turbo lift and looked back. “Thank you... Jonathan.” He grinned and waved her onward. In the end not everyone made it out. But Trip’s mastery at the transporter controls got enough people away from the center of the blast zone to ensure that nobody died or was permanently damaged. Emergency response teams flooded the compound while police and MACO squads cordoned the area tightly. The secondary Vulcan compound in Cairo was not prepared to accept so many refugees without some time to prepare. Rather than move everyone around again, Starfleet just shipped up some camp beds and basic supplies. Cargo holds one and two were converted into dormitories and the environmental controls were re-set to Vulcan normal. The refugees were advised to settle in for the next few days until their new homes were ready. Chef was beside himself with the culinary opportunities. He happily declared that he had never imagined there were so many different things that you could do with plomeek. Someone soon introduced the Vulcan children to the wonders of chocolate, to the deep chagrin of their parents. Things started shaping up to be an interesting few days. An hour after the final Vulcan was beamed aboard Trip and T’Pol sat in the briefing room with Soval, Archer, Phlox, the three Healers who had examined Elizabeth, and Admiral Gardner who had flown up for the consultation. No one looked thrilled to be there but all present acknowledged that it could have been much worse. “So what’s the deal Cap’n?” Trip asked, rubbing his forehead. “Are you telling us that Massaro gave you the tip about the bomb?” “Not quite Trip,” Archer replied. “The tip was turned in by Gannett. I am sure you remember Gannett.” He looked to the seat beside him. “She was aboard our ship for a while Admiral. We even thought at first that she might be a Terra Prime operative herself, but it turned out that she was working undercover trying to find the mole.” Admiral Gardner looked his age at the moment but his voice was by no means weak. “As it happens one of the access codes that your man Massaro gave us worked to unlock a system that she had been trying to hack into for weeks. It is only by the grace of God that we found out about this when we did. If the information had come even a few minutes later it would have cost hundreds of lives. The timing is amazing.” “I'n’t it though?” Trip muttered sardonically. He shot a glance at T’Pol, who could have made a fortune at any poker table in the galaxy. “The timing that concerns me is the fact that Trip and I were just about to visit the compound with Elizabeth when the alert sounded,” T’Pol said. “I gather from what you said Admiral that Terra Prime was responsible for the bomb. What was their reasoning? Revenge for the Earth embassy on Vulcan?” “Partly,” Gardner sighed. “Partly sheer cussedness. They want to cause trouble and turmoil any way that they can. We have Paxton and his chiefs, but the main body of Terra Prime is still out there. It will take a long time, perhaps even years, to eradicate this particular cancer.” T’Rul said coldly, “Meanwhile no Vulcan will be safe on Earth.” Soval looked reprovingly at her while the humans looked down at the table. “That is hardly the case Healer T’Rul. I regret to say that I find your statement highly illogical. Terra Prime is no more representative of humans generally than V’Las and his associates are representative of Vulcans. Neither of our races is perfect. But at least we are both trying to improve ourselves. What more can we do?” “Elizabeth’s safety is what matters to me,” Trip broke in roughly. “From the sound of things it doesn’t seem like it will be safe for her on Earth for a long time, if ever.” Archer looked exceedingly unhappy. “Trip...” He stopped and took a deep breath. “Massaro wasn’t going to kill you. We were wrong about that. He...” The captain looked away for a moment. “What?” Trip said very softly, his eyes never leaving his friend’s face. Archer looked back in the suddenly silent room. “His orders were to kill Elizabeth. Paxton sent out the command just before he was locked up. He expected her to die you know. In fact he counted on it. But if Phlox somehow managed to save her, Massaro was instructed to make sure...” Archer couldn’t stand to look at Trip’s face any longer. Neither could Gardner. The Vulcans politely turned away to spare another the shame of having such blatant emotion be witnessed publicly. Only T’Pol reached out to him and grabbed his hands. “Is Massaro still aboard?” Trip managed to force out the words in a barely audible whisper that was still sentient. But only just. “No,” Archer said emphatically. “When Admiral Gardner arrived we sent him back down immediately on the same shuttle. I wanted him off my ship and Starfleet wanted him in their interrogation chambers just as badly.” “Good,” was all Trip had to say on the matter. “Logically, of Elizabeth’s two possible home worlds Vulcan would seem to be the safest option at this time,” T’Pol said flatly. “Ambassador. I wish to enter a request for a hearing to have my daughter declared a citizen of Vulcan based on her genetic heritage.” “Certainly. I will forward your request to T’Pau immediately along with my endorsement. However I believe that approval is a foregone conclusion.” Soval looked across the table at the young couple. “Considering that you are one of the three who found the Kirshara, and that Commander Tucker led the Enterprise into single handedly preventing war between Vulcan and Andoria, I sincerely doubt that the Council will have any objection to declaring your offspring a citizen. “What about me?” Trip sat up and ignored the stares he suddenly got from the head of the table. “What would I have to do to immigrate?” Four gray Vulcan eyebrows rose in unison. T’Pol just beamed at him without allowing her expression to so much as twitch. Trip made a note that someday he was absolutely going to have to figure out how she did that. Soval said slowly, “I am not certain what you mean Commander. Surely you will be allowed to visit your daughter whenever you wish. If you desire to take up residence on Vulcan there is a human compound...” “No,” Trip shook his head vehemently. “No compound. No separation from the rest of the world. I want to live with my family in a normal home and give my daughter a normal life. Or as normal as it can be with an alien for a father.” “I….” Soval looked floored. He looked at T’Pol, who simply held up her left hand to show him her wedding band and said nothing more. Soval blinked and stared for a moment, then came back to himself. “I see. In that case the situation is entirely different Commander. As the husband of a Vulcan citizen, you are automatically entitled to make your home on Vulcan if you choose to do so. This right is unassailable and irrevocable. Even if something happens to T’Pol now, your status will not change.” “Horse piss Trip!,” Archer slapped his hand on the table in frustration. “I just got you back from Columbia! Are you seriously going to resign your commission now? You are on the fast track with your career and right now the sky is the limit. If you quit now you will never know what you could have accomplished.” “No, he is not going to give up his career. I will not allow it.” T’Pol said decisively. “Oh really,” Trip turned to look at her. “It’s all right for you but not all right for me? Anyway don’t they have engineers on Vulcan?” “Assuredly we do,” Soval said. “Some additional training might be required to accustom you to our technology. But you could certainly find employment on Vulcan.” “But not as a warp field specialist, which is your area of expertise,” T’Pol pointed out. “So exactly how long have you two been married Commander?” Gardner asked, scowling. “Exactly 19 hours and 12 minutes Admiral,” T’Pol replied with unshakable equanimity. “By the way. I hereby resign my commission.” Admiral Gardner groaned and sat back looking like he had a headache. “We can’t fill positions to begin with. Then as soon as we fill ‘em our best people start spawning and bail on us.” He ran a tired hand through his hair. “Hernandez is still trying to come up with a chief engineer that satisfies her. And we haven’t got half the senior officers picked out for the NX-03 yet even though she is due to launch in 17 months.” “I sincerely sympathize Admiral,” Soval told him. “We have the same problem. It seems that some things are universal.” “With all due respect Admiral,” Archer looked put upon, “you are not the one losing both your chief engineer and your science officer plus your first officer all in one fell swoop.” “You are not going to lose your engineer Captain,” T’Pol returned. “We will work something out. Trip and I will discuss arrangements.” “And just what gives you the authority to make statements like that?” Trip demanded, starting to get steamed. “I thought on Vulcan wives were supposed to obey their husbands, not the other way around.” “We are not on Vulcan, husband,” she pointed out reasonably. “You married me by the laws and customs of Earth. There was nothing in our marriage oath about obedience.” Gardner snorted. “We used to put that in our vows, but gales of hysterical laughter kept interrupting the ceremonies.” He looked at Trip. “I take it that your main concern here is having time with your family. As long as we could figure out a way for you to have that, you would stick?” Trip looked intrigued. “Sure. I would love to stay. But I gotta put my family first Admiral. I am not gonna leave my baby girl to grow up without her daddy. I can’t do that to her. I am sorry, but it just i'n’t gonna happen.” “Well for at least the next few months we can arrange for you to stay on Enterprise but be granted frequent extended family leaves.” Gardner told the room, “With everything that has been happening in the last few years, Starfleet has instituted a new policy. Now that we have more than one of them we are going to keep at least one NX class vessel within three day’s travel of the home world at all times, just in case of emergencies.” Captain Archer nodded emphatically. “As much as I would love to be back out there, I can’t argue with the logic of that.” Admiral Gardner told Trip, “While you are away from the ship on Vulcan you can be working on detached assignment with our R&D team. We have a new set of theoretical designs that need to be fine tuned and I believe that you are just the man to do it. These theorists are fine and dandy at drawing pretty pictures. But pretty pictures don’t make a ship fly. I want a man to look at those designs who understands how things work in the real world and knows what it means to get his hands dirty. If these designs pan out we will be building warp six engines in less than ten years.” Trip’s eyes lit up. “I... I suppose I could take a look at them...” “Great,” Gardner said and stood up. “We will work out the scheduling once this emergency is settled. Meantime I need to get back to my office. That gold mine you tapped, Jon, has caused the Terra Prime thugs to start scurrying like rats from a burning barn. I have a dozen teams right now out with nets, ready to scoop them up.” “Good hunting Admiral,” Archer told him with a grim smile. “I will arrange a shuttle for you.” “Captain,” Soval spoke up. “If I might impose. There are several items in my office in the compound that I have need of. Particularly those related to filing the request for baby Elizabeth’s citizenship. Given the location of the bomb and the strength of the blast, it is likely that my office is still somewhat intact. Might I impose for transportation down to the compound?” “Certainly, Ambassador.” Archer turned to Gardner. “You wouldn’t mind sharing a shuttle pod would you sir?” “Absolutely not,” Gardner replied. “Glad to have the company.” “Cap'n,” Trip looked concerned. “You better let me go with him. It’s not like he’s in shape to do rock climbing. There’s gonna be debris, and some of that stuff is no doubt unstable. I can go in and get the stuff for him if he will tell me what he wants and where it is.” “That is inadvisable,” T’Pol said tightly. “There is no logic in risking yourself husband. Terra Prime considers you a traitor to your species. You have been marked as a particular target. You should not go down there.” “I am not gonna let those...” Trip visibly got a grip. More calmly he said, “I am not going to let terrorists drive me away from my own planet T’Pol. I refuse to live my life in fear of what might happen. If I start to do that I might as well cut my own throat and be done with it. Besides, I may be a target but I am no more of a target than Soval is.” She still looked unhappy. He softened his tone and took her arms in his hands. “T’Pol,” he said gently. “I will be as careful as I can be. I promise you that. I have no desire to get hurt, believe me. I have far too much to live for now. I have you, I have Lizzie. I have it all. I won’t take any risk I can avoid, I swear.” She closed her eyes and drew in the deepest breath she could hold. She let it out and nodded, then she opened her shining eyes. “You have no way of knowing what those words mean to me husband. I will wait for you. Please come back soon.” “I will.” He gave her a quick peck and went to join the Admiral and the Ambassador where they waited at the door to the briefing room. Trip piloted the shuttle down to Starfleet HQ without incident. Once there it was easy for Admiral Gardner to summon ground transport to carry Soval and Trip to the compound. Soval casually waved his credentials and vouched for Trip, which got them through the barricade. The compound was a mess. Trip visualized some giant with a ten story high mixer thrusting the beaters into the center of the compound and hitting the switch for high speed. The main residential area was hardest hit, with the school being completely flattened and the married/family housing almost completely destroyed. The medical offices next door were crumbling and slumping into a rough hill of dirt and stones that leaned against the corner of the diplomatic offices. The debris had shifted down and uprooted a tree, throwing it over and into an ornamental pond where a few hardy water fowl still paddled around looking befuddled. Humans in uniform were everywhere. Taking pictures, measuring things, taking samples. Soval led Trip over to the front of the diplomatic building where they discovered a major setback. The front door had caved in. So had the five stories on top of it. This did not seem auspicious. The two men withdrew to discuss options. “Hello Commander, Ambassador.” Trip turned with Soval to regard the young woman. “Hello Gannett.” He felt a warm rush of friendly feelings mixed with embarrassment for his earlier suspicions. “I... uh... thanks for the help. I’m sorry about before. You know, on the ship.” She grinned. “I’ll find a way to let you make it up to me somehow Commander. I’m just grateful that no one got killed here. That would have been too much. And as far as thanks go, I think we all owe you thanks. I understand you were the reason Paxton’s beam hit the water instead of the city.” “Well, yeah.” Trip felt a little sheepish. Ambassador Soval stepped forward with his hand raised and fingers spread. “Peace and long life to you, Lady. Your timely warning saved the lives of many of my people. A debt is owed, and it will not be forgotten.” “I was only doing my duty Ambassador,” Gannett told him politely. “I am sure you understand. I am here to serve.” She bowed. Soval raised his eyebrow. “In that case, perhaps you know of a safe way that we might enter the diplomatic building. I am urgently in need of some items from my office if they can possibly be obtained.” She wrinkled her brow and considered. “I heard some of the rescue workers mention that the side door was unblocked. But I don’t know if you want to try it. They went over that pile of debris to get in, but they are trained and had special gear.” “Necessity impels me to make the attempt,” Soval replied and started forward. “No it doesn’t,” Trip said, stepping in front of him. “It impels you to wait right here while I make the attempt. You aren’t as young as you used to be Soval. Besides somebody needs to be out here to yell for help if I get into trouble.” The Vulcan didn’t put up any real fight about it. Gannett pulled out her recorder and started taking shots as Trip cautiously approached the pile. “What are you doing?” “I am a reporter you know,” she retorted, aiming the recorder to catch a shot of Soval watching Trip set his foot on the first big rock. Trip didn’t say anything else. All his attention and breath was spent on climbing. He soon found that scrambling up a pile of loose dirt and shattered concrete was not in any way comparable to rock climbing. It was much, much, worse. Every time he started to make any progress he slid backward to the bottom. Soon a few casual observers ambled over. As his audience grew, remarks became wagers and Trip started to simmer. Finally he backed off and took a running start. When he hit the pile he started scrambling like a madman on all fours. By dint of furious effort and dogged determination he finally made it to the top of the pile. Filthy and triumphant, he turned with a smile and looked down at the observers below. He saw Gannett with her recorder smiling and giving him a thumbs up sign, which he returned. Then the rock he was standing on shifted and flew out from under him. Trip hit the slope rump first and already picking up speed. Stopping was hopeless. Slowing down was futile. Steering was laughably unlikely. He did manage however to get enough purchase on the slope with his hands to change his angle of descent. Instead of heading feet first for the place where he started, he ended up pointed head first at the pond. The splash was quite impressive. So was the eruption of waterfowl. Soval started forward along with several others to offer assistance when Trip exploded up from the bottom of the pond. Soaked to the skin, covered with slime and mud, scraped from the slide, draped with water lilies, and directly underneath an outraged mother duck along with her four half grown ducklings. In strict obedience to immemorial instinct, the momma duck attacked. Trip tried to stand up but his feet kept sliding out from under him on the slick mud of the algae infested pond. Meanwhile the duck braced herself atop his brow and alternated between jabbing at his face with her beak, and flogging him about the head and neck with both wings while quacking at the top of her lungs. Trip flailed wildly and finally gained enough control of his arms to shove her off. The irate matron left, but not without placing a final notice of her stern disapproval in Trip’s hair. Trip let himself flop back down into the water in defeat. Chest deep in stinking green slop, he reached up and wiped away a handful of something slimy from the side of his head. With his other hand he numbly unwrapped the water lily necklace and flung it away. Then he sighed tiredly. Gannett was holding her sides and down on her knees laughing herself sick. “I got it all! From the bottom to the top and back down again! If I don’t get a Pulitzer there is no justice in life!” Soval asked in real concern, “Are you injured Commander?” Trip sat staring glassy-eyed at his erstwhile nemesis for a moment as she waddled off, still quacking to her trailing brood. He shook his head. Soval repeated his question. “Are you injured Commander? Commander Tucker. Are you all right?” The Vulcan saw the young human blink and turn to look at him for a moment. He listened in total incomprehension as Trip muttered, “This nails it to the barn. That boy is definitely out of the will.” Finis A sequel continues the story in In the Cold of the Night Have a comment to make about this story? Do so in the Trip Fan Fiction forum at the HoTBBS! A whole mess of folks have made commentsAppropriately so, I am first.... Very nicely done. I especially like the picture of Trip getting bested by a mother duck. I am still laughing over that one. Great first work B;ack'nblue. Hope this encourages you to try many more. T. Holy schmolly...your first fic? You gotta be kidding me because that was one of the best finale fixes EVER! It was the right combination of angst, action, humor, etc. I especially liked how you balanced the old T'Pol and the new T'Pol and the time traveling bit. You managed to fix up a lot of things without making it confusing. Amazingly well done and hopefully you'll be writing many more stories! Wow! You wrote all *that* since that conversation we all had the other day, telling you to get to work???? C'mon, you've secretly been polishing this one for years, yeah? =) Well done comrade. *lets out breath in a huge rush* Thank you. I don't know what else to say. Just thank you. Extremely well done. I agree with Gammaent that you balanced the angst and humor very nicely. An excellent explanation for TATV-era TnT (or rather, the lack thereof) and I couldn't help but to feel remarkably sad at the fate of that T'Pol; Romeo & Juliet indeed. The decision of that timeline's Trip to completely close himself off following T'Pol's latest retreat was sadly in character as indicated by his decision to do so following his sister's death or after T'Pol's wedding to Koss. Let me add my voice to those who will undoubtedly be hoping that you write more. it's tense waiting for comments, hey, B&B? =) you sound breathless I enjoyed it quite a bit. The originality of plot and story and how you fixed the finale and the character interactions were great -- I particularly enjoyed seeing T'Prell and George. But to be a critique I have to point out the things that I noticed too :), since it's your first piece and everything. I thought T'Pol's manner of speech and vocabulary was a little out of character but not too bad most of the time, 80% of the time you had it nailed, there were just a few spots I noticed. But that's not to be ashamed of because she's very difficult to write and she takes practice and a lot of reading. The other thing was a slight problem with the time framing. You had said that George and T'Prell were grandchildren of Trip and T'Pol's, but that they were also from the 31st century, because George refers to "31st century medicine..." as if it's his native century. From 2160 to 31st century is 840+ years, far too long for only two generations of Vulcans. But that's minor. I liked how you did Tucker, he was absolutely spot on, and I admire the use of Southern colloqialisms because it's my downfall, I don't know any! I also really liked -- in a poetically despairing and depressing but beautiful way -- older T'Pol's decision to take her life after having secured a better future for her counterpart. It reminds me of old-Janeway in "End Game". All in all, fantastic for your first fic, most definitely a head above a lot of other stories. Extremely well done, thank you! :) Wow. I don't know if you guys realize... crap. Of course you realize what it means to hear this. But I mean it. You are all some of my favorite authors on this site. This kind of encouragement carries a lot of weight, as I am positive you know. And you were right enterpriseScribe, I was holding my breath on pins and needles waiting to see if anyone was going to even notice it. In retrospect, I guess I should have had T'Pol be introduced to T'Prell and George as 'ancestor' or something. I thought I could get away with grandmother as a generic term, rather than a specific designation. Ah well... I did struggle with T'Pol's dialog. I amuncertain with female dialog generally a lot of the time. Trip was easy. I am of southern US extraction myself. Just thought I'd add an explanatory comment: Blackn'blue had George and T'Prell give the titles "Grandmother" and "Grandfather" to T'Pol and Trip respectively. As George seemed the more "human" of TnT's descendants, I let him get away with those terms ocassionally, but I changed "Grandmother/Grandfather" to "Foremother/Forefather" when T'Prell was speaking or when both descendents were speaking. T'Pol used the term "foremother" in "Carbon Creek," so I changed BnB's terms where it looked appropriate. Bucky Ironically, I find T'Pol's dialogue to be easier than Trip's and I'm of Southern descent myself (grew up in Florida and North Carolina, now live in Oklahoma.) Perhaps it's a matter of overcompensation on my part: I tend to try and be very precise with my wording so, as a result, I sound more Vulcan on the page. So, BnB ... we're going to see more from you, right? Egad Rigil, my nerves are still twanging from this first one. :) So? It's a good feeling, right? Makes you want to get more feedback about a different story, right? Wait until you've got the ideas but can't seem to get the danged words to cooperate... Cool, guys, that you all gave such nice comments! Told ya, BnB, that you would get some nice comments. I feel so proud to have been your beta. Can't wait for your next story. And Oriana (pet rabbit) seems fine now. She is washing her own self so I don't have to take a wash cloth to the shaved area. Rabbits are as fastidious as cats about giving themselves a tongue wash. I have to pull her out from under the couch to give her the antibiotic, though. I'm late to the party, but I have to put in my two cents. Aside from some minor comma issues which gave the occasional bit of grievance to my overly obsessive-compulsive soul, I do believe that this might just be the very BEST first fic that I have ever read. The plot was engaging, the characters were, for the most part, well drawn and consistent with what we saw on the show (Archer was maybe a bit more home-spun than I remember, and T'Pol a tad more overtly emotional), and your descriptions were at times painfully poignant, and at other times extremely FUNNY. I especially loved your descriptions of Elizabeth's antics. You must be a father... or at least a very observant uncle. Thank you. I will look eagerly for your future stories. I haven't finished, but this is very, very good! A very well-written, complicated story. Like a real episode. The only thing I see wrong is a few missing hyphens. I agree with Distracted above (and haven't read the other reviews). This is exceptional. And that's what I said about the last story I reviewed. What's happening here? You new writers are amazing! Thanks so much. This was a great first fic. It's hard to believe that it's your first one. I hope you plan on writing more. LOL Dis. Linda took me to task about commas too. I am a firm devotee of Mark Twain's advice about the comma. He said, "When in doubt, strike it out." I take full responsibility for any mistakes that she caught but I neglected to follow through with correcting. I doubt that anything got past her. The woman has eyeslike tweezers. You are correct. I am a father and uncle both. As for observant, if you don't keep your eyes peeled around the hooligans in my family you are likely to end up bruised.
LOL, BnB, I guess I am excessive about commas because Selek brow beat me about putting them in my stories. Mark Twain would have been proud of me before Selek crossed my path! I think grammar styles change greatly over time. Ever try to read an 18th century novel? "Ever try to read an 18th century novel?" *shudder* Don't go there. Please. Aside from a few rare exceptions. I keep getting nudges to write more. I will make a deal. I will start another one if Linda, Dis, Rigil, JohnO, and all you other slackards get busy and put out the next installments of the series that you have been leaving us poor suffering readers slavering and thirsting for Lo these many days and weeks. How about it? Well done, BnB! Fabulous first, you should be very proud. I'm looking forward to finishing this one and reading your next - get your thinking cap on. I understand the comma thing, they are my personal nemesis. I've just read an interesting book about punctuation by a real 'stickler'. She suggested that punctuation is two thirds rules and one third style - ever tried Virginia Woolf, the semi-colon queen? I have never been able to come to terms with the mystery of the semi-colon. What do I do with it? What is this strange character? Where does it go? What does it signify? I am confused? I am bewildered? Nay, it is not too much to say that I am actually flabbergasted at the question. No. For me the semi-colon will forever remain a tool unused. Left to rust unmourned and unremarked at the bottom of my keyboard. You got me cheering for TRIP! You wrote: All we know is that for some reason a first generation Vulcan/Human hybrid does better and lives healthier when they are selected to have Vulcan dominant genes. So that is the way we do it.” “Whatever. Good with me,” Trip declared. “As long as she is healthy I don’t give a rat’s ass.” Everything here is absolutely perfect, the baby especially (yes you know babies), the instant wedding. (That's as far as I've gotten.) YEAH! I'm cheering for Trip and cheering for you! Its a deal BnB. I'll show you mine (story that is) if you show me yours. We all should get writing! And semi-colons (did I even spell that right?) are beyond the pale, or is that pail - the place I discard the piles of extra punctuation symbols that are sitting under my desk. I will look. Nope, the rabbit ate them. That was me. Forgot to sign. Blackn'blue: "I will start another one if Linda, Dis, Rigil, JohnO, and all you other slackards get busy and put out the next installments of the series that you have been leaving us poor suffering readers slavering and thirsting for Lo these many days and weeks." I'm trying ... :( And I LOVE semicolons; they're my favorite bit of punctuation. :p And THIS is why we are all here, hey? It's just plain *fun* for people like us... who like Star Trek, and who like commas, and moreover, who like posting on message boards about same. Wow, we sound so geeky! However, given the choice between geek or jock, I'll go for the former stereotype any day. We're just so much more interesting! :-) (And eclectic! Betcha there's 13 yr olds sneakin' peeks at NC-17 romance and seniors gettin' their early bird kicks along with eveyone in between, am I right, people?) There were the existentialist writers, right? And you know, the postmodernists and the chickfikkers ...etc... We could very well be held up as examples to a good number of published writers. Not bad for a bunch of obsessive geeks with (as the 'normies' like to endlessly say): WAY TOO MUCH TIME ON OUR HANDS. Don't you hate it when people ask you that? You make time for what you love. There's my writer's rant. Sorry BnB, but I guess it's fitting on your first fic's comment page. And I've taken up the challenge to update too! I just submitted chapter 10 on Friday and it's 18 PAGES LONG! I'm so proud of myself! I always am so tempted to make that chapter break when the baby's squallin'. Ch 9 was 7.5 pages and I felt bad, 'cause I love it when others make 'em long longer longest! I know: quality not quantity. My email's acting broke and I don't know if Bucky got my chapter. BUCKY! DIDJA GET MY CHAPTER? Going to get started on chapter 11. I'm on fiya! Blackn'Blue you SHOULD be super proud of yourself. All our comments may be boosting to read (yum yum!), but even if you lived on the moon——you wrote a cracking 5-part fic. :-+ 18 pages long! *stares in disbelief* One chapter is 18 pages long! Holy... I am doomed anyway. I held back on showing this to my wife until I got it done and posted. She finished reading it and the first thing she said was, "When are you going to finish it?" Me: "It's done." So I am apparently writing a sequel. I SAID QUALITY NOT QUANTITY! NO HANGUPS ALLOWED! GO WRITE! lol this is delightful and wonderful and delicious and i adored it. every darn word of it. I see from the comments you are writing a sequel I look forward to it, a lot! First fic? This would have been very well done for an old pro. I really liked the way you tied all the various elements together. This one is definitely a re-reader. I dunno. I was quoting from the tv episode, where T'Pol calls the baby a "binary clone" and Paxton confirms it. The biology is above my head. Black's right, they stole trip'n't'pol's dna and combined the two kinds and so I think that's where they get the word "binary clone". "In vitro" means "in glass" in Latin and refers to the mixing process of sperm and egg taking place in a glass testtube/petri-dish versus the womb. So I think you're both right. She's a binary clone that was created through an in vitro process. Yep. To create an in-vitro fertilized child, the terrorists would have had to have access to viable sperm from OMT and an ovum from T'Pol. If the genetic material used was a diploid cell from each parent instead of haploid gamete cells, the product would have to be a genetically engineered blending of the genetic material from two diploid cells introduced into a donor ovum which had been emptied of its genetic material. This is, by definition, a clone. Although I suppose it's POSSIBLE that Phlox had the gamete cells on hand (Starfleet physicals would have to be MIGHTY complete if that were the case, IMO), the fact that the episode used the term "binary clone" would imply that diploid cells... like skin cells... were used. I will take your word for it. Like I said, the biology is above my head. I know about permeability, drainage coefficient, modulus of elasticity, moment arm, radial velocity, flash point, lotsa stuff. But cloning I know nada. Heh. Biology is simple. Living things do what they're genetically programmed to do. Sometimes we help the process along. It's a little messy, but fun. Now... as far as your "drainage coefficient" and your "whatzit of elasticity" is concerned... sounds like we're talking MAJOR math, there. I don't DO math. ; ) my cat's breath smells like cat food Well Ralph, as long as your breath doesn't smell like your cat's, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Unbelieveable. I just finished. The pacing was wonderful. There wasn't a boring moment. I think you should get an extra gold star for managing to write something so involved and so high-impact, while KEEPING it G!?? How did you do this? Marriage, life and death, terrorist attacks, personal conflict, sexutal tension. And its G?! Well I'm blown away. Had to. My kid was gonna read it. I had forgotten the episode used the term binary clone. For some reason the eps leading up to the ****nale have been somewhat blanked in my memory. My bad. Please continue and I'll be quiet and just enjoy. The story was very good. If I was you,I'd be tempted to quit my writing career after this first story. Because there's no way to top this! :D Gee thanks jT. Since I have already started my next one, that was JUST what I needed to hear right now. :D I always get this warm snuggly feeling every time someone posts a newe story. What would life be without them?. I only wish that I had the literary imagination to add my own. Alas my forte is grammar, spelling- editing and fine details of consistancy and character. I offer to any and all proofreading skills to make sure that you have the appropriate "their, there or they're and my favorite pet peeve your and you're. this story was amazing- complex, detailed enough T and T and a happy ending after all if we wanted to be bummed out we could watch TATV. Keep writing and that goes for all of you who have started a series and then stopped for the last 1-2 years!!! I always get this warm snuggly feeling every time someone posts a newe story. What would life be without them?. I only wish that I had the literary imagination to add my own. Alas my forte is grammar, spelling- editing and fine details of consistancy and character. I offer to any and all proofreading skills to make sure that you have the appropriate "their, there or they're and my favorite pet peeve your and you're. this story was amazing- complex, detailed enough T and T and a happy ending after all if we wanted to be bummed out we could watch TATV. Keep writing and that goes for all of you who have started a series and then stopped for the last 1-2 years!!! Ye Gods! That was brilliant, funny, especially the duck :) Please carry on because, Roses are red, violets are blue, and people may have said it, but you rock, Black 'n' Blue! :D
On September 12, 2006, at the insistent urging of TLR & enterpriseScribe, Blackn'Blue decided to write his very first fic. You just read it. I wouldn't be afraid to give it a try. Sometimes people surprise the hell out of themselves! To witness the exact moment he made his bold literary intentions known, visit TLR's awesome story, "A Sweet Goodbye - Part 2" and scroll to the comments. Great job, Black N' Blue! I can't believe this is your first fan fic. It's really terrific. Just a couple things.. I'm guessing the grand children were suppose to be several generations desendent, not direct grand children, correct? Also, I don't usually read G only rated stories, because I do quite enjoy reading T\T's interactions being more than friendly or romantic banter. But, I must say how pleasantly suprised I was at how well you wrote the characters without the smooching. Bravo!! Of course, adding a romantic scene or two more in your next fic would be a great addition. But, I would still be interested in reading something more from you no matter what it is. BTW, how did you come up w/ your handler? Just curious. Uh... my handle? I... um... can I plead the fifth on that one please? ^^okay, you get a pass this time. ;) Judging from the way he describes his wife, I might just be able to guess where his penname comes from. Of course... I'm just a tad overimaginative. ; ) *blushes crimson* Distracted's bang on today. =^)) This was SO GOOD!! I loved the ending. You write for these characters very well. I especially enjoyed the tenderness and humor of this story. I alternated between tears and chuckles and even had goosebumps a couple of times! This is definitely one of my favorite Trip & T'pol stories. Thank you for a wonderful read! B&B Nicely written BnB. Perhaps I'm strange but I think it would be an interesting exercise to explore what might happen to "old T'Pol" after the suicide. Could go several ways, some vastly more fulfilling than others. HtH2k4 we should quit calling him "BnB"....the Beebs (Brannon & Braga) couldn't have written this if they had 25 years to do it. well done Blackn'Blue HtH2k4, I didn't write it in because I wanted to leave it open. But to me, they really are two facets of the same person, just at different locations along the time line. If that makes any sense. The idea of old T'Pol being returned to a quasi-existence in her prior time line, hanging in limbo as it were, was more than I could stomach. Well, when I hear, read, etc. "BnB" I normally think Bed n Breakfast as a friend owns one. In this case the authors nom de plume. Let me suggest, dear unsigned above, that perhaps everyone is as wrapped up in the producers as you may be so please don't tell me what I should, can or can't say as long as it is not rude, insulting or profane, and I'll do the same for you. Oh, BnB to add to the thought above, one could also examine what it would be like for such an embittered closed off Trip, those around him, and perhaps his life path. Such extreme bitterness usually seeps into every aspect of one's life, eventually affecting all aspects including professional relationships, job performance, health, lifespan, etc. HtH2k4 Um... I don't think they were picking on you in particular HtH2k. They said "we". If it is the person I think it is, they have forgotten to sign their name before. In that case I certainly don't think they meant to aim it at you personally. As far as Trip's bitterness, that was the only reason I could think of to explain why nobody but T'Pol, and to a lesser extent Archer, seemed to give a care on TATV when he died. At the end Hoshi, Malcom, etc. were carefree and happy. None fo them seemed concerned at all that Trip had just been seared into a horrible death. Why not? The question bothered me. The only answer I could come up with was that he must have pulled away from them over the ocurse of several years, throwing up a wall and isolating himself from everyone on the ship after Elizabeth died. The pain was so great that he sealed himself off from human contact as much as possible to avoid any more pain. Only Archer refused to allow him to cut contact completely. At least, it was the only thing that made any sense at all to me. Granted, trying to make sense out of nonsense was a strain anyway. Whew! Just about the grumpiest thing I've ever read on here! thanks 4 the defense, Blacky. You are right, I certainly meant no offence. It was tongue in cheek, and really menat more for you than anyone else, as this is *your* story. I should have put a smiley in :) have a good sunday everyone, i'm off to the forest! Wonderful story - thanks! Well, I've read this story three times already! I wish to be included in the group that can't believe this is the first time you've done this. This is an amazing story, and a real gift! I also enjoyed the fact the the whole thing was posted at once. Thank you for that. And thank you again for this wonderful story. Well, I've read this story three times already! I wish to be included in the group that can't believe this is the first time you've done this. This is an amazing story, and a real gift! I also enjoyed the fact the the whole thing was posted at once. Thank you for that. And thank you again for this wonderful story. sorry for the double post....... I can't believe people are still posting. I am disabled with a bum ticker, and this is the first creative work that I have been able to accomplish in a long time that I actually feel pretty proud of. It means a lot to me to get this kind of feedback. It really does. Thank you. Very much. You've mentioned about your ticktock before and it makes me extra concerned for your handle. ;-) Glad this writing has been such a positive experience for ya. Going to start "In the cold..." now. I'm expecting big things, Blackn'Blue! Big things! This story was really good, enjoyed it a lot. |