Compulsion

Compulsion

By HopefulNebula

Email: (hopefullynebulous@yahoo.com)
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: If I owned Enterprise, would I be scrounging around for video clips and spoilers at 10:30 PM on a Tuesday night? I don’t think so.
Summary: T’Pol’s thoughts pre-Harbinger. V. short and written with less than 22 hours left before “Harbinger” airs here.
Spoilers: “Similitude”
Date: 10 Feb 2004

~~~~~
‘There’s nothing I’d like better than to fall.” ~Sarah McLachlan, Fear
~~~~~

His lips are more overwhelming than his eyes. Though I have only felt them once, and they weren’t technically his, I continue to find the line dividing Sim and Commander Tucker unclear. That body, that voice, those eyes, those lips… those are both of them. What, then, of my feelings? I find it ironic that this began with Sim’s uncertainty as to whether his feelings were his own or Tucker’s, and now I find myself divided as to the true recipient of my own emotions. All I know is how compelled I am to fall into Tucker’s lips once more.

To fall… to fall. How appropriate. This feeling is exactly like falling into what, I’m not sure. I know that if I were to literally fall, he would be there to catch me, and I would submit to his inferior strength, only to fall into the intense blueness of his eyes, the fullness of his lips, the warmth of his katra. This thought comforts me, against all logic.

His touch is almost healing. When his skin is against mine, I feel safer and more accepted than I can remember feeling in nearly seventy years of life. Touching him so intimately must be tantamount to what humans call “heaven.” It is all I desire, and yet he embodies everything I cannot be.

My father once told me that I have always yearned to attain the unattainable. I wonder what he would think of me now, as the candle flame flickers impatiently in my quarters, which have never seemed empty before.

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Nine of you have made comments

Great short little lead in to Harbinger. Oh and by the way...I love your screen name "Hopeful Nebula is really cool. Can I assume it reflects your outlook on Harbinger?

Great job!

I wonder though (and this is not critisism, but an honest question I've been wondering about) if T'Pol would use such comparisons as 'falling' and 'heaven'. Its tempting to use them. Do you think she's been around humans long enough to make those abstract connections?? It will be interesting to see just what words she uses to define her relationship with Trip after tonight. :D

The TTer's have triumphed!!!

I'm so happy that someone finally wrote about if T'pol were to fall, Trip would be there to catch her. That's how their relationship is going to survive.

Oh, and she is falling, alright... Trellium D, P'nar (sp?) syndrome, having her mind and body violated... she's falling, and Trip will save her. Count on it!

Thanks for all the encouraging words!

Rocky, I've had this screen name for the better part of three years on various sites; the fact that it reflects my outlook on Harbinger is purely coincidence.

Aleda: I think she would be able to equate her current turmoil to falling. (BTW, Yahoo must've deleted a dash. It's supposed to read: "falling-- into what, I'm not sure.") I know "heaven" is a bit of a reach, but it still seemed to fit.

Beautiful little piece. Can't wait to tape it tonight (unfortunately I have to be out at a meeting. ARRRRGGGGG)

Nice job! Liked how she seemed accepting of her feelings. She had obviously already thought out what she would do, "if" circumstances were right.

I'm not sure about the "falling" metaphors. It works well here, but I don't know that she would. I think the heaven reference fit. I think she's been around long enough to have picked up knowledge of the "afterlife."

Thanks! (less than an hour until "Harbinger!" yay!)

That was awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This was beautiful especially the last line! Sigh. I would love it to bits if you wrote a companion piece from Trip's point of view. A thousand thanks seems inadequate, Ali D :~)