Eyes Wide Open

Eyes Wide Open

By JennaTripped

Rating: PG
Spoilers: Oh my YES! Unaired season 4 episode spoilers.
Summary: All that bond stuff. I wanted to take a crack at their conversation based off the detailed portions of dialogue we already have.
Disclaimer: Property of Paramount. Although, when I was little, if I didn’t take care of my nice things my mom would take them away from me. Something to think about…
AN: Thanks to HopefulRomantic for being my awesome beta!

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Trip pressed his thumbs into the back of T’Pol’s neck and smiled when she sighed gently. They never spoke out loud, but their bodies talked to each other for them. A feeling of complete peace suffused the room, tempered by a never-ending sadness. She let him hold her in a way she never could have allowed anywhere else. It was always that that reminded Trip he was dreaming. He didn’t care.

He let his lips follow his fingers to the skin at the back of her neck and felt her tremble. She turned and met his gaze and a million thought jumped between them at once. He knew she understood. He loved her.

When Trip had first started having the dreams in the expanse, they had been brief, fleeting. He’d woken up with vague memories of something pleasant, and it had been dreams of T’Pol that had eventually stopped the dreams of Lizzie. He’d dreamt of other things too: pecan pie on the warp reactor, standing on his hands in the hallway; sometimes he had nightmares of being turned inside out or of being burned by the warp plasma. But now, he had the dream with T’Pol every night, all night, and he had trouble getting out of bed in the morning for fear of what he’d find in the waking world. He never wanted the dreams to end.

As the dreams of T’Pol had gotten longer, they’d also changed over time. At first, he had missed her physically. The dreams had been passionate and intense, the emotions and lust in them out of control. He’d go to bed at night with tightness in his chest: anticipation. He’d wake up in the morning with tightness in his groin: desire. But gradually, the content had shifted.

Now, they were filled with a tender sweetness that sometimes bordered on sadness. He knew why it had happened. She’d married Koss and his subconscious had taken his own sadness and regret and invaded his dreamscape. Sometimes he wondered why his dream T’Pol echoed his sadness, but he supposed it was just because he wished she would, and wishes came true in dreams.

The emotional intimacy of the dreams had coincided with the development of an emotional distance between himself and T’Pol while he was awake. It had made him desperate for sleep, and the soothing touch of his dream T’Pol.

And if his dream T’Pol sometimes did things he didn’t expect, it was easy enough for him to overlook.

Just now, she curled her fingers around his and snuggled against him. He’d noticed this more and more in his dreams. They would touch fingers and warmth would flood him. He didn’t know where he was getting the idea from, but stranger things had happened. Sometimes he would be with his dream T’Pol and would see weird things in her quarters. Little things that reminded him his subconscious did have other issues to work through at night besides his longing for T’Pol.

And then, he would wake up.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

T’Pol entered Engineering cautiously. Crewmen buzzed around her, trying to repair the damage Kelby had caused. She saw Trip with his back to her, working at a console.

“The Captain asked me to offer my assistance.” T’Pol nearly stuttered. The Captain had not asked, he had ordered, and Trip’s presence so near her was wreaking havoc on her control.

“Great… you can run through these diagnostics… see if you can find anything that isn’t fixed.”

T’Pol took over the console. She supposed it was some consolation that he hadn’t denied her offer of help, but he hadn’t even looked up at her when she spoke. He might as well have asked her to leave, but she knew he couldn’t because the fact was that Enterprise was still a mess and Trip needed all the extra hands he could get. She snuck looks at him as he replaced the circuitry in a nearly panel.

“Do you really think they’re coming after us?” Trip paused in his work and glanced over at her. T’Pol swallowed.

“It’s likely. The transmissions sent by the Orion females suggest that Harrad-Sar’s ship is getting closer.”

T’Pol observed him closely, in between checking the diagnostics, and wondered if he felt the tension in her. Probably not. He shook his head ruefully and fiddled with the wires in his hands.

“You know, I keep thinking back to our first mission… when we met the Suliban… I was so damn naïve. I actually thought it would be the last time we had to fight someone.”

T’Pol was about to respond when a loud crash behind her diverted her attention. Both and she Trip spun around as two crewmen began to shove each other violently.

“I said to leave it alone!”

“Get your hands off me!”

T’Pol watched with concern as Trip hurried over and physically placed himself between the two crewmen, grabbing each by the collars of their uniforms and holding them apart. They gazed mutinously at each other.

“Knock it off, that’s an order!” The two crewman backed away and straightened their uniforms, all the while scowling at each other and the man between them. “Start up again and you’ll both be outta here, understand?” They both nodded reluctantly, still angry. Trip forced the first one to look at him directly. “Go help Massaro with the injectors. Now. And you,” he turned and looked the second crewman in the eye, “get back to work.”

Trip watched to make sure they both did as ordered before he stalked back over to T’Pol, running a hand through his hair.

“That’s the third one I’ve had to break up today.”

T’Pol nodded as he mused over the situation and watched the bustle of engineering. “The Orion females have been emitting pheromones that have had some unusual effects on the male crew members. The doctor is concerned about how long it may last.”

Trip resumed work on his panel while T’Pol continued at the console. They worked in silence for several minutes. T’Pol looked up when Trip made a frustrated sound.

“What I don’t understand is why they all seem to be going crazy and I don’t feel anything different.”

T’Pol froze, and then forced herself to continue working quietly. Perhaps now was a good time to bring up what she had been trying to discuss with him. She had intended to wait until… if she was honest with herself she had intended to wait to tell him until the issue forced her hand. She was… concerned… about how he would respond.

“I think it may have something to do with me.” There, she said it. Trip looked up at her curiously.

“You?”

She took a deep breath. “There is a theory that Vulcans and their mates can form a psychic bond.”

Trip blinked at her, and she could see him trying to understand the implications of that. They had mated, were they…? “We were ‘intimate’…”

“We were romantically involved.”

When she corrected him, Trip rolled his shoulders and T’Pol’s hearing managed to pick up the sound of his accelerating heartbeat. A difficult task over the roar of her own pulse. Neither one of them was focused on their work anymore, but they both kept up the pretense. T’Pol regretted bringing this up here. They needed privacy.

“What do you mean by ‘psychic bond’?”

“It is difficult to describe. Bonded Vulcans are able to sense each other over long distances. They can exchange thoughts, even images, with their bondmate.” T’Pol locked her eyes on his face, wishing she was more skilled at reading his facial expressions. She knew him so well, but began to doubt herself the longer he went without speaking. A sight flush had crept up his neck. He was blushing.

“And,” he cleared his throat, “you think this has happened to us?”

“I have no other explanation that would account for all the variables.” She spoke quietly.

“What variables?” His voice sounded strange to T’Pol, like he was having trouble speaking.

“Perhaps we should talk about this later…”

“No, now. What other variables?” He met her gaze for the first time, and T’Pol could not read the emotion she saw there. She was tempted to test her theory herself and reach for him with her mind, but she did not want to push him away.

“I believe that…”

“Have you been…” Trip paused and glanced around him quickly. “Have you been in my dreams?” He gazed at her with intensity and T’Pol cast her eyes downwards.

“I believe so. Hoshi said…”

“Hoshi?” Trip voice climbed an octave. “Hoshi knows about this? You told her about this?”

“No, Trip. Please. I…” She stopped, and gained control over herself again. “I did not tell Hoshi, not intentionally. I melded with her to discover what had happened to Phlox. Afterwards, she came to me and described a dream. The dream was very familiar to me. I had been dreaming the same thing for months.”

Trip seemed speechless. “You melded? But Soval said that required training! You could have been hurt.” He took a step towards her and T’Pol felt the mysterious charge between them intensify. “You could have been hurt.”

“I am fine, and so is Ensign Sato.”

Trip didn’t seem to hear her. “And since when do you dream?”

T’Pol looked into his eyes and finally found the familiar warmth she had been without for so long. “Apparently, since you do.”

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Trip pressed his thumbs into the back of T’Pol’s neck and smiled when she sighed gently. Sometimes they spoke, sometimes they didn’t, but communication was no longer their downfall. A feeling of complete peace suffused the room, buoyed by happiness. He followed the path of his fingers with his lips. T’Pol trembled. He slowly turned her around and kissed her softly on the lips. Her arms snaked around his neck, and he found himself captured in her embrace. Their eyes met and a million thoughts jumped between them at once.

“I love you, T’Pol.”

”And I you, Trip.

He smiled at her and took her hand, guiding her over to the bed. He blew out the candles as she climbed beneath the covers. In the darkness, with the faint smell of sulfur filling the air, he made his way by memory to where they slept and crawled in beside her, feeling her warmth press against him. His heart nearly overflowed with pleasure.

As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he stared at the ceiling; T’Pol snuggled up against his side. After a moment, she spoke.

“Are you having trouble sleeping?”

Trip smiled to himself. “No, I just want to make sure this isn’t a dream.”

They both lay quietly for a few minutes, their breathing synchronized.

“Pinch yourself.”

“What?” Trip turned over and looked at her, amusement dancing in his eyes.

“I heard Ensign Sato remark that she thought the strawberries in the mess hall were a dream. Ensign Mayweather pinched her. A painful stimulus will wake you if this is a dream.”

Trip laughed and hugged her close. “He was just kidding around with her.” T’Pol seemed to contemplate this for a moment. Trip was completely unprepared for what came next. She slipped her hand out and pinched his arm lightly.

“Ouch!” Trip pretended to be consumed with examining his injury until T’Pol took over.

“There is no damage. I did not use excessive force.”

“You’ve got all that Vulcan strength.” He pouted, but made sure T’Pol could tell through their bond that he was delighted she was playing with him. He made a face at her and settled back onto the pillow. The tension from when she had thought she had injured him faded from her face.

“You must sleep. You lie awake every night with your eyes wide open.” She paused. “You aren’t dreaming, Trip.”

He smiled. “No, but having my eyes open isn’t so bad anymore.” With that, he kissed her soundly and closed them.

end

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A whole mess of folks have made comments

beautiful story, it could happen this way, thank you for sharing.

Nice to have a story showing a positive effect of the bond. Apart from the positive effect of Trip and T'Pol that is... Ali D :~)

That's just a gorgeous little gem of a story.

I love all your stories but I think this one is especially sweet !!!!

We probably won't get anything like this, so thank you for this lovely story.

Verra nice story. Thank you for writing it.

Like Rae said . . . a gorgeous little gem of a story. Thanks for sharing it.

Wow... just wow.

I especially love "He’d go to bed at night with tightness in his chest: anticipation. He’d wake up in the morning with tightness in his groin: desire."

Love it! Such a beautiful flow to it, and I love the tension T'Pol was feeling in engineering. It came through really well.

Well that was certainly a hundred times better than trying to read through tape...:o) thanks for putting it together so well - can't wait to see how close you came

Very nice indeed, this was real sweet.

Great fic. I hope they reconcile this easy in Bound. I guess Dreams do come True;)

Awwwww... how cute! Real nice fic, Jenna!

^Excellent story. Short, sweet... no need to add more.

Aww, that was beautiful :)

Beautiful story!

I just love these lines:

Trip didn’t seem to hear her. “And since when do you dream?”

T’Pol looked into his eyes and finally found the familiar warmth she had been without for so long. “Apparently, since you do.”

Sweetness. :)

fantastic! made my evening :)

Well done, Jenna! Thank you!

I loved it! So sweet, and I loved the contrast you showed between the beginning dream and the ending reality. So similar, but so different. :D

so sweet, please write more!