Dust in the Wind

“Clipping Clue-Pons” POV CHALLENGE

Dust in the Wind

by Kevin

Rating: G
Disclaimer: The characters mentioned within this text are the sole property of Paramount Studios, UPN, and Viacom. I intend no infringement.
Genre: Friendship, Drama, Clipping Clue-pons POV Challenge
Summary: During “Similitude”, Sim makes the ultimate sacrifice for the two women he loves. The story builds on the events in The Song Remains the Same.

Sim sat alone in the mess hall staring at the door that had just closed. His head was killing him. He bent over and rested his head in his hands trying to make sense of what was going on.

This situation is messed up!

For as long as he could remember–he grinned as he realized that meant the past four days–he knew two people on this ship were special to him in a way no others were. The first was Captain Archer. That situation had been easy enough to figure out as Jon and Trip had been close friends for nearly a decade. His time with Captain Archer was awkward as Sim could tell Jon bounced back and forth between treating him like Trip… and someone else completely. At some level Sim understood this. Although he was… Trip… he also was not. Both of them struggled with the reality of their situation.

However, the other situation was baffling to him. He felt all sorts of emotions toward T’Pol. Anger, frustration, desire, warmth and the list went on. However, he never felt indifferent and when she was near, his emotions were always intense. He reacted to her in a way like no other woman on this ship. The strangest part though was she almost completely ignored him. The only time she even acknowledged his existence was when duty required or he pressed the issue. And then it was the minimal amount possible to resolve the situation.

He grinned again and shook his head as he remembered yesterday something told him she might join him for a movie. He had no idea why he thought that and she dismissed him as a boy with a crush on his teacher. Today he probably would have agreed that was all it was if these feelings didn’t continue. For the life of him, he couldn’t figure out why he would feel this way about T’Pol and not Hoshi. Hoshi was nice to him. She had read to him. She taught him a lot… or at least helped him to remember a lot. T’Pol virtually ignored him while Hoshi was frequently around. But while he liked Hoshi, she just didn’t evoke the emotional response T’Pol did. Something about T’Pol’s deep brown eyes made him forget everything else.

Finally Sim gave up trying to make sense of it. He straightened up and seeing no one was in the mess hall, gave out a very loud, frustrated groan and stood up.

This situation is messed up!

Sim walked purposely toward sickbay. The situation was beyond frustrating and he needed answers. No one seemed able to talk to him about Trip so he decided to approach the one person he’d known all his life. He would force Phlox to talk to him. It was almost 4am and he knew Phlox would be alone.

Sim felt like he was going crazy. All he could think about was his… Trip’s… engines, his… their… sister and… T’Pol. He found out Lizzie was dead although he couldn’t remember it. The only thing Jon would say is that it happened a few months ago so he hadn’t remembered it yet. As near as they could tell, Sim was in his mid-20’s. Sim’s heart ached at the realization within a day he’d remember his sister’s death and experience it all over again. From what he could tell, Trip took her death badly. It nearly broke him. Sim wasn’t looking forward to reliving that in the least.

Even more frustrating was his desire to spend ever moment he wasn’t working with T’Pol. He couldn’t figure out why she was so important to him. He couldn’t even remember when Trip met her. He only remembered the time he first saw her in sickbay. It was pretty early in the morning and he just gotten back from playing in the gym. He probably wasn’t more than ten or so at the time. She barely acknowledged him before speaking to Phlox privately and then left. Since then she’d only interacted with him when duty required it and then as little as possible. For a while Sim thought she was avoiding him but over the past couple of days he’d noticed she treated everyone that way. She hadn’t singled him out or treated him any differently than anyone else.

But if that were true, then why did he feel this way about her? Sure she was beautiful and something in her eyes made his heart race whenever he was near her, but this was a lot more than just lust. This was a lot deeper and he couldn’t believe Trip could form feelings this deep for someone who basically ignored him.

Sim’s head hurt. He needed answers. He decided to go to Phlox.

When he arrived in sickbay he couldn’t find the doctor but he did hear someone talking softly. The noise was coming from where Trip lie. He could tell someone was behind the curtain sitting by his bed. Sim couldn’t understand why someone would be there at this time of the day. Trip was in a coma and would be in one… well… until Sim was ready. He winced at that thought.

Once he got a bit closer he recognized the voice. It was a voice he could listen to all day.

“…bolayalar T’Wehku bolayalar T’Zamu il T’Veh,” he heard her say.

That confused Sim. Why would she talk to Trip in Vulcan? Did he know Vulcan? Sim couldn’t remember knowing but then again maybe he learned it later? Of course since Trip was in a coma it probably didn’t matter one way or another. She could be speaking Klingon for all that mattered.

“The precept means ‘the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one’ and is central to Vulcan culture. Everything we do should be done for the greater good. It is illogical to put one’s own needs ahead of those around us.”

And so she went on explaining this to an unconscious Trip. He listened as she continued her… lecture. Sim heard her voice start to break before she stopped speaking. He watched as her shadow against the curtain jerked a couple of times. A few moments later she started speaking again but he recognized the unsteadiness in her voice. It was a marked contrast to the normal steady coldness in her voice.

Sim turned and left sickbay as quietly as he could. He no longer needed to speak with Phlox. He was pretty sure he now had the answers to his questions. Something made him certain T’Pol wouldn’t be in sickbay at 4am reading to anyone else. The pain in her voice was evident.

Sim frantically worked the controls of the shuttle pod preparing it for flight. He knew the only person capable of stopping him was in a coma in sickbay. No one else knew the ship’s systems like he did and could work around his “modifications”. He’d be gone before they could stop him. They couldn’t even come after him with the second shuttle. He’d made sure it wasn’t leaving the hangar bay without repairs.

He still had to work quickly though. There was a possibility T’Pol might stumble onto his sabotage given her knowledge of Trip. Sim was certain the possibility was too remote, but if anyone could stop him now, it would be her.

Just as he completed the pre-flight checks, a voice in his head said “the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one.” It was T’Pol’s voice. At that very moment he remembered the words she spoke to Trip as he lie unconscious in sickbay.

Sim thought about her statement. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one. He slumped. The needs of the many were for him to give his life to save Trip. At best, Sim had another seven or eight days to live. There wasn’t much he could do for anyone in that time. It was too short. But if Trip made it through the surgery, he could live for the duration of this mission. He most likely would live for quite a bit longer than another few days.

The mission had to succeed. He’d owed it to everyone who had family killed in the attack. He’d owed it to everyone who’d have a sister killed in the next attack. Sim couldn’t help the mission succeed except to sacrifice himself so Trip could live. Sim owed that to Lizzie. He owed it to the little sister he loved.

Sim swallowed hard and wiped away the tear in his right eye.

He also owed it to T’Pol. Trip didn’t have the benefit of staring death in the face like he had. He hadn’t seen the need for self examination like Sim had. Sim loved T’Pol–there was no question about that. But Sim knew enough to recognize those were Trip’s feelings. He hadn’t spent any time with her to develop these feelings on his own. He… inherited… them. He was also pretty sure T’Pol cared about Trip. She treated him distinctly different from anyone else on the ship. He knew she would never allow anyone else to even see her in her pajamas, let alone the many brief glances of her topless he… Trip… enjoyed.

He chuckled softly to himself as he remembered the last time Trip and T’Pol were together. He… Trip… nestled his head between her thighs as she taught him a new posture. He could still feel the heat radiating off her. He could still… smell… her. He didn’t have anywhere near her sense of smell but that evening hers was strong enough he could easily make it out. A little wave of jealousy washed over him. He shook his head to clear that thought. He was jealous of… Trip? Himself?

This situation is messed up!

Sim took a deep breath and released it slowly. He started powering down the shuttle. He’d give himself for the mission. It was his duty.

Just as importantly, he’d give himself for T’Pol. Even though she was Vulcan, he was certain she’d take Trip’s death hard. He couldn’t put the woman he loved through that. He’d do what he could to make sure Trip lived. He would sacrifice himself so Trip could live… for the both of them.

The End

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A whole mess of folks have made comments

Heartbreaking. This episode has always disturbed me intensely. It was nice to get a glimpse into Sim's thoughts. It makes me feel better somehow. Thanks, Kevin

I have to agree with Distracted. This episode is perhaps my favorite and one of the most interestint because of the possibilities it opens up. You did an amazing job with it, great work!

Fascinating and very well written, Kevin. I have been completely entranced with this series and you continue to keep me interested in it. Of the entire series, Similitude is the ONLY episode that I wouldn't change a thing about (for the amazing acting in it by Bakula, Blalock, and Trinneer) but I still enjoy these scene additions.

Great job!

I'm gonna cry! That was amazing, and I absolutely loved it! Thank you so much! :)

Wonderful. It gives a higher sense to Sim's death than the episode did. I felt the episode was just an excuse to have T'Pol know Trip was in love with her.
Your story gave Sim and his death more meaning.

Beautiful. To have him overhear T'Pol and have those words turn him back from escaping in the pod. Like the others said, you added something to a nearly perfect episode.

Very well done, good insight, very emotional. It has the depth that makes two dimensional canon become three dimensional fan fic.

Certainly a tale to evoke sympathy. Poor Sim! Well written!

VERY VERY nice. That was well told. T

Great pick, writing with Sim's POV! As the others have said - that was well done and emotional! Great job!

Excellent story, very moving. Well done, really enjoyed it.

Really excellent response to the challenge. I loved it!