Fulfilled - Pt 8

Fulfilled

By Samantha Quinn

Disclaimer: I don’t own Star Trek, any of its sequels or its prequel. Theoretically, I suppose I own Charlie, Maggie, and Koval. But neither they nor their parents are making me any money in this fic, so please don’t sue.

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Chapter 8

Maggie’s POV

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A Week Later

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“Are you sure you don’t need me to come out there, love?”

“No, Dad. I’m fine, really.”

“You’re certain? Because your mother and I can be on a ship out to Vulcan tomorrow.”

Oh, yes, this is Admiral Malcolm Reed, the same one who struck fear into the heart of Xindi, Klingon, and Romulan alike? Hardly. “Dad, I appreciate the sentiment, but it isn’t necessary. Besides, I’m staying with Koval’s grandmother. One emotional human is enough for T’Mel to cope with.”

Dad nods reluctantly. “All right, love, if you’re certain it’s necessary. But if you change your mind, you be sure to let me know, and I’ll readily tell Starfleet to bugger off in order to be there for you.”

Somehow the image makes me want to smile. I try my best to project that rare sense of joy to my unborn son, who of late has only felt my feelings of distress. “Dad, I think enough former Enterprise crewmembers have told Starfleet to bugger off this month,” I remark, as lightly as possible. I try not to focus on why exactly former Commander Tucker was doing the said telling.

Dad’s face contorts into a grin as well and he leans back in his chair to stroke his beard, apparently lost in thought. “Ah, yes. You know, Maggie, I just happened to be having a meeting with Admiral Williams when Trip called. While I of course felt horrible for you, love, I must confess that I enjoyed seeing Trip back in his argumentative state. For a moment, it felt as though we were back on the Enterprise.” The wistful expression that crosses my father’s face is a familiar one – it’s one I’ve seen cross his face many times in my childhood when he would discuss his time on Enterprise.

“I’m sure it was a sight worth seeing, Dad. Though I have to confess that I can’t ever quite see Trip anywhere near as argumentative as your stories paint him.”

“Never be fooled, love. Every argument Trip Tucker and I ever had was started by that man.”

“I’m sure it was, Dad,” I say with not a large amount of conviction. I can hear a ruckus behind him, and take that as my cue. “Hey, I’d like to say my goodbyes to everyone before they leave. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“All right. If you’re sure you don’t need us to come out there –"

“Save the energy and wait until your grandson is born.”

At the mention of my son, Dad’s face splits into an even larger smile. “You take good care of my grandson, Margaret Madeline.”

“I will, Dad.” After all, he’s the only part of Koval I have left.

“Make sure someone on Vulcan notifies us the moment you go into labor, all right?”

“Okay, Dad.”

We say our goodbyes and I turn off the vidphone. Left alone, the familiar feelings of dread, loneliness and heartache threaten to overwhelm me. Truth be told, there are days when I want nothing more than to pack everything up and return home. Mom and Dad would welcome me back with open arms, I am certain of it. On the other hand, if I returned home, I might just crawl back into my childhood bed, pull the covers up over my head, and never leave.

I can’t do that. Koval wouldn’t want me to do that, and it isn’t fair to my son to do that.

My son. I still remember the very day Koval and I found out we were expecting a child. The baby was a surprise, definitely, but a very welcome one. For both of us.

~~~
“Koval! Put me down!”

“I assure you from personal experience, a child’s affection for their parent is unconditional. Nonetheless, I look forward to improving upon my parent’s previous unwise judgments.”

~~

It hurts to think how good of a father Koval would have been. He would have be so loving and attentive to our son. Now he’ll never have the chance.
A week ago, I didn’t want to get up out of bed. It was also frequently hard to eat. But I keep reminding myself that I’m living for two. It is hard, at times, but I think my son’s presence forces me have to be strong because I do not wish to be unhealthy. There have still be days during this past week that I have cried all day, even while trying to stay strong for my son. I don’t suppose I’ve properly grieved yet. But I can’t. I won’t risk it affecting my son. I cannot help but remember a conversation I had with T’Pol just before we arrived to Vulcan.

~~

“I want to meld with you. I want to know what my husband felt before he passed.”

“No. For the same reason that I did not flee back into Charles’ arms with the news of his son. I did not wish my son’s conception to ever be considered a matter of obligation or a burden, either to him, or to his father.”

~~

Thus, I force myself to get up, and out of bed every day. I force myself to crawl into the shower. I force myself to eat three square meals a day, and at least two healthy snacks. Though the food has as much taste as cardboard, I eat it. I lost two pounds the first two days after Koval’s death, but I’ve gained four back. I’m determined to keep gaining, too. I’m devastated by Koval’s loss, but I am relieved that I have a part of him with me. My grief will not come between my son and me. I will not allow it.

My son and I. The time will come soon when I will have to come up with a name for him, and the very thought of choosing his name without his father’s input hurts me to the very core. Before his death, Koval and I had excitedly tossed around potential names. One thing Koval wanted to make clear was the issue of surnames.

~~

“I am aware of the Admiral’s potential discomfort, Maggie. However, since the child is truly a Tucker, I cannot name him as an Archer. Thus, I would wish to give him your name, as it is the only surname that is honest.”

~~

Koval had such love for our son. No matter how much I want to love and care for him so that he won’t feel like he’s missing a parent, I will always know that I could never provide an accurate substitute for the type of father Koval could have been.

There are days I allow myself to get really angry at Koval for what he did. But I know I’m not really angry at him. I do understand what he did and why he did it. For all that he tried to deny human emotion, he was the most gentle and loving man I ever met. That’s the reason I married him. How could I continuing being angry at him for it?

Though, I am dreading the inevitable day when my son asks me, “Mommy, where's my daddy?” No, his sa-mekh. But I can’t think about that now. It would cause the child too much distress.

Glancing at the chronometer on the wall, I realize that I had better go if I’m going to get the chance to say goodbye to Koval’s parents. After all, it takes me ten times as long to get anywhere lately.

{}{}{}{}{}{}{}

When I arrive at the gathering site, all three of them are there , along with Savona, T’Pol’s grandmother. I’m glad to see T’Pol up and running. During the first two days after the katra ceremony, she was having substantial difficulty. I didn’t question what it was, but from what I was able to piece together, it had to do with her difficulty controlling her emotions. She looks well enough that I suppose it was a temporary problem.

“Maggie, glad to see you could make it,” Trip greets me. The faux happiness in his voice doesn’t fool me. I know how deeply he has mourned this week. It’s probably Trip I feel sorriest for. After all, the others have an inherent right to grieve, without anyone questioning why. Trip doesn’t have that right – at least not in the eyes of the rest of the world. But I’m glad he managed to make it to Koval’s katra ceremony. Koval would have wanted him here.

“Well, Trip, I would have been here earlier, but it takes me a bit longer to walk from spot A to spot B these days,” I retort. “Besides, my father was regaling me with tales of your stubbornness.”

“I’ll have you know, there is no one more stubborn in the universe than your father, Maggie. Every argument we ever had was his fault.”

“Really? He seems to have a different perspective.”

“I bet he does. You’ve heard about the shuttle pod one incident, haven’t you?”

Oh, god. “Only about four million times, Trip.”

Trip smiles, and embraces me in a hug. “Take care of yourself, squirt. And take care of that baby,” he whispers in my ear before letting go. As he pulls away, I can see that there are tears in his eyes, which he tries to hide by ducking quickly into the shuttle pod that will take them back to their ship.

“You are certain you wish to remain here, instead of moving to your next post?” T’Pol asks. Her voice is steady enough.

“Yes, T’Pol. I feel calmer here.” It’s the truth.

“Then Live long and prosper, Maggie. If I can be of assistance, please do not hesitate to contact me.”

She too turns and enters the shuttle pod and I’m left with Archer, who also feels compelled to hug me goodbye. “Take good care of my grandson, Maggie.”

“I will, Admiral.”

“If there’s anything you need, anything at all –“

“I’ll contact you immediately.”

“Be sure you do.”

“Admiral, make sure you pilot that thing safely.”

“Maggie, I can pilot a starship. I’m sure I can pilot a shuttle pod safely to the rendezvous point.” He gives me one last pat on the stomach – an action I have always hated – before turning, walking into the shuttle pod, and closing the hatch behind him.

Savona and I watch the shuttle pod as it takes off and remain watching as it disappears from sight. Turning towards Savona, I notice that she doesn’t look nearly as old as she did a week ago, when she was performing the katra ceremony.

“Those three I do not understand,” she remarks.

“They’re difficult,” I admit.

“Indeed. Though perhaps I now know the reason my T’Pol has chosen not to bond with her mate.”

The surprise must have shown on my face for Savona explains, “It is obvious, to a Vulcan.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Come, Maggie, you need to eat.”

“I’ve already eaten.”

“You can eat again. Vulcan males tend to reach exorbitant lengths during their conception.”

Though I follow her, I remind her gently, “My son will only be a quarter Vulcan, Lady Savona.”

“Yes, I am aware of that. Mother would have taken great pleasure in knowing both Koval and Koval’s impending offspring.”

I briefly do the math necessary. “T’Mir?”

“Yes. You have heard the story of Mestral before?”

“Absolutely. It was one of Koval’s favorites.”

“Koval was a very bright child.”

“Seems to be a familial trait.”

“On the subject of familial traits, I do hope your child inherits the same eye pigmentation as his father.”

So do I.

{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}

Three hours later, I am awoken from a very comfortable sleep by T’Mel, who tells me that I have an incoming comm message. Groggily, I reach for the communication counsel on the desk.

As the picture comes into view, I am somewhat surprised to Soval himself. “Greetings, Ambassador.”

“Greetings, Lieutenant Reed. I have news regarding Ambassador T’Pol, Commissioner Tucker, and Admiral Archer.”

A nauseous feeling begins to stir in my stomach that has nothing to do with my son. “News?” I try to make my voice sound calm. After all, I am on a planet of Vulcans. Panicking is the last thing I wish to do in front of them.

“As you know, they were scheduled to meet the Antares in their shuttle pod, just outside of the Vulcan solar system. They did not make the rendezvous point in time.”

“Perhaps they are just moving slow. They did leave later than they intended.”

Soval shakes his head. “The Antares has just completed a full sweep of the Vulcan solar system, Maggie. There are no shuttle pods anywhere near here, nor are we picking up any distress signals.”

“I see. Thank you, Ambassador, for notifying me.”

Soval pauses long enough to prove he has been around humans too long. “Live long and prosper, Maggie,” he says before ending the connection.

Live long and prosper? What kind of cruel joke is that? My bondmate is dead, and the three people he died to protect are missing in action, possibly dead as well.

Gripping my pillow tightly, I take several deep breaths in an attempt to calm myself. Feeling the baby kick restlessly inside of me, I try in vain to calm the child. “It’s okay, sweetie. Mommy’s sorry she got upset. But it’s okay. Everything’s going to be okay. Your grandparents will be just fine.”

The kicking doesn’t subside, and I’m not surprised. I don’t really believe it either.

~~~

A/N: Sorry.

Part 9

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Seven people have made comments

WHAT?!?! Oh yeah, you had better say sorry for that one! Please continue at a most hasty pace...

Great chapter, once again. Your teasing us. Please don't make us wait too long for the inevitable confrontation between Tucker, T'Pol and Archer!

Ooh, this isn't one of those time travelling weirdo's from the the future making an apperance is it?

No, no - no time travel or alternate universes will be found herein. I promise.

Even if there were Sam, I bet you could make it look good! Great chapter though I'm dying to figure out what will happen next! Please tell me it can't possibly get much worse than it already has!

This is just a roller coaster of sad events, I can't believe you ended this part on such a gut wrenching note but have faith you have some cool magic up your sleeve to put a smile back on our faces. I really love all the characters and those you created from scratch are every bit as convincing and wonderful as our intrepid heroes. Thanks, Ali D :~)

HELL YES SORRY! You had better not, I swear. It was enough pain to have Koval die, but...Trip, and T'POl. (no one gives a shit about Archer at this point, at lease I dont'). Don't do this. REALLY. You'll kill us all.