Sex, Lies and the Vulcan Database (Plot #6)

Sex, Lies and the Vulcan Database

by stub

DATE: 8-8-04

RATING: R

DISCLAIMER: I still own nothing of interest to anyone else.

SUMMARY: T/T 2004 Summer Challenge Plot Choice, Season 3.5, plot number 6: Trip discovers how T’Pol learned her seduction techniques.

* * *

"So you'll distract her?" Trip Tucker asked the doctor. He fidgeted with a hand scanner.

Doctor Phlox gently removed his medical tool from the nervous engineer's hand. "I don't understand why you can't just ask her, Commander."

"I did, Doc," Trip replied. His eyes darted sheepishly about the room. "She said she went right to the source."

The Denobulan's eyebrows rose in curiosity. "She's been talking to someone?"

Trip lifted a shoulder and shrugged his response. "That's what I intend to find out. I figured if she's talking to anybody, it'd be you."

Phlox shook his head. "Not me. At least, not about that."

Relieved to discover that their night of passion wasn't a topic of discussion between T'Pol and Phlox, Trip cast a begging look at the doctor. He lifted his eyebrows expectantly.

Phlox sighed. "Fine. I'll see if I can't find some…test to run on her after dinner tonight. Whatever you intend on doing, please make it hasty. I won't be able to keep her in here for long if she even suspects false pretenses. T'Pol is the most suspicious person I know."

"Including Malcolm?"

"Actually, yes. I'm glad those two are on my side."

Trip smiled broadly at Phlox. "Thanks, Doc! I owe you one!" He turned on his heel and practically skipped out of Sickbay.

* * *

Even if he hadn't been the Chief Engineer, sneaking into T'Pol's quarters wouldn't have been difficult. She'd given him her lock code months ago for the neuropressure sessions. Trip felt a bit uneasy about what he was about to do. But she wouldn't give him a straight answer. God forbid T'Pol actually answer him in a satisfactory manner.

Trip snorted softly as he entered her quarters. His engineer's analytical mind took quick stock of where everything was, just in case he needed to put anything back where he found it. But really, he knew where she kept everything. After spending so much time in her quarters, Trip had every detail memorized…just in case he'd never see it again.

He crept softly to her computer and switched it on. He was only going to have a peek into the database. He drew the line at rummaging through her drawers and personal space. Trip figured she'd know he'd been in here anyway. She'd be able to smell him. He had a solution for that as well. He'd leave a padd with files of all his photographs for her to peruse. She'd mentioned once her desire to see his photography skills. All Trip had to say was he stopped by to drop them off, she wasn't here so he left it on her table. In and out. Piece of cake.

Checking the chronometer, Trip found he only had about 20 minutes of safety before he had to scoot. He opened file after file, some in English, some in Vulcan. Nothing that he could determine. He wasn't entirely sure what he was looking for. And he couldn't exactly read the Vulcan files. Advice from women? Letters to mom? Articles from those silly magazines the ladies always read? What if all that was in the Vulcan files? He'd never find his answers in there.

Trip needed to know where an unmarried Vulcan woman learned how to satisfy a human man in the exquisite way she had that night. It was driving him nuts. Is that how Vulcan men liked it? Were they really that different? A male's a male, right? Maybe those techniques were some part of passage into adulthood on Vulcan…like those tribes that passed down sexual advice from generation to generation. Elders passing on their experiences to the younger ones or some such tradition.

"What the hell?" Trip muttered in frustration. There had to be something.

He clicked on a file marked in a Vulcan symbol. As the file opened, his eyes widened in surprise.

"Oh my god," Trip breathed. He scanned the contents of the file, his heart hammering in his chest. There were dozens of what looked like titles.

Raw Hide?

Bareback Hotel?

Trip groaned aloud and slapped a palm to his forehead. He leaned his head on his hand and read on.

"Dear, sweet Jesus," mumbled Trip. "She's been looking at porn?"

Trip thought back to that night, to when the Vulcan seduced him. He'd been all ready to go as soon as she dropped her robe. There wasn't much need for foreplay, but T'Pol had attempted it anyway. She'd kissed his neck, down his chest. Thinking back now, Trip remembered how much time she'd spent on his nipples. No one had ever really bothered with them before. It had turned him on even more. By the time T'Pol's lips made it to his cock, he was so hard it hurt. But she'd only given it a passing lick or two and continued on to his scrotum. No one had ever really bothered with that much, either. She'd sucked the whole damn thing into her mouth. Trip remembered how he had to practically yank her away before he ended the whole thing too soon.

An involuntary shudder ripped up his spine at the memory. He was getting turned on just thinking about it. Trip slipped a hand between his legs and tried to tug loose his pants. They were getting a bit too tight at the moment.

Clearing his head of the memory, Trip leaned forward and read more titles.

Spanking Soldiers…Locker Room Rumble I-V…Cream of the Cocks…

Trip's eyes narrowed. "Cream of the Cocks? They make porn for women?"

He clicked on a title called Handjob Honchos. A video clip began to play. Basically, it was some buff guy jerking off. Trip scanned through it, figuring that was probably where T'Pol learned how to hold him and how to stroke him.

Until he saw another man enter the shot. Trip's eyes widened in shock as his jaw dropped.

Okay, he thought, maybe THAT'S how she learned what she did.

"I'll be damned!"

Now it all made sense. T'Pol had been learning how to please a man by watching gay porn. She went to the source: Other men. Trip sat back in the chair and stared at the screen. That explained her probing fingers in his rectum just as he climaxed. He shook his head. That part had always got him a little embarrassed.

"What are you doing in here, Commander?"

Trip's head snapped up as he stared at T'Pol. He hadn't heard her come in. He should have rigged an alarm.

"I – I wanted to find out how you knew all that…stuff," Trip stammered. He didn't bother trying to cover up. He knew she'd see right through it.

"What stuff?" An eyebrow rose.

He stood up and looked down. His arms flopped at his sides. "Sex stuff."

"And that's why you had Doctor Phlox's cooperation in distracting me in Sickbay?" Her voice was cool, but Trip sensed a hint of unease.

"I didn't know how to broach the subject." He looked pleadingly at her.

T'Pol strode to the computer to see what he'd discovered. She turned to look at him but her gaze faltered. "I just wanted to ensure…" her voice trailed off.

"It's ok," Trip replied awkwardly.

They stood there staring at each other.

Trip spoke again. "I'm sorry, T'Pol. I shouldn't have snuck in here and gone through your files." He looked down at his shoes. "I should have just asked…again."

T'Pol was quiet for a moment then said, "I wasn't certain if your human male ego could handle the truth."

"Maybe not," Trip shrugged. He glanced up at her. "Then again, maybe I could have."

She took a step towards him. Trip smiled at her.

"This still doesn't excuse the subterfuge, Commander."

His smile faltered. "Of course not, Sub-Commander. But you're not a guinea pig of gay porn. I think I deserve some slack." Trip winked at her.

T'Pol lifted an eyebrow. "I'm sure we can arrange…something."

FINIS

Author Note: I looked up some titles on Google. As far as I know, they're real. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

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A whole mess of folks have made comments

oh sure you googled for porn... and how did you verify the contents of that one, huh?

Oh how can you leave us with just one part to this, you really must continue and tell us what other techniques T'Pol learned?!

I'm with tracy-thesnickeringcube this needs another chapter.

I'm impressed at the depth of your research! As for T'Pol's approach . . . very enterprising (ouch!) and quite logical.

that was so funny and trip was ahh so busted..
hmm though he has had her lock code since before catwalk..

;)

I thought this was priceless, funny, and kind of touching (without touching if you know what I mean). As for your assertion that you looked those titles up on google, could it be that you are *real* author? Looking forward to the next chapter, Ali D :~)

What is this "next chapter" that you people speak of?!?

so the rumors about you are true stub. You do right good smut! But surely you have a NC17 version of this out there if the rumors are REALLY true! ;)

Stub,
You're the best!

First, I was amazed by all your "research" for this fic! :-))) But I must admit, I can´t see Trip breaking into her computer. Not after the situation with Kos (I forgot the spelling). Hmmm.

^^ Seems like some REAL fun research! :D

Alright, I vote for another chapter too. There's so much left to cover. What else has T'Pol learned? Good story.

It's heart warming knowing that you're willing to go that extra mile for your stories. Authenticity is so important, don't you think? I hope it didn't take too much of your time :D And yes, I enjoyed the story :-)

That was too funny, stub! Loved it! :-)

Oh my lord, stub, that was hilarious!!!

Hilarious! I'm hunched over my computer, snickering like a kid, hoping no one can hear me.

lmao! That's was funny. Great story.

very nice stub...you're in yer element. ;)
Q

It makes me regret that I took so long to get around to catching up on my reading. Definitely the best explanation of so many things! One question: does Archer know that T'Pol got into his porn collection?

hahaha. shuuurre- you just HAD to google to get those titles! i believe you, millions wouldn't!