Mood Swing-Pt 19

Mood Swing

By Sue

E-MAIL: susieqla@yahoo.com
RATING: PG-13
CATEGORY: Angst/Friendship/Could Even Be Love...
SPOILERS: Harbinger, The Forgotten
ARCHIVE: Yes
DISCLAIMER: Enterprise is the property of Paramount and its
subsidiaries. No profit is being made.
SUMMARY: Trip POV, missing scenes...

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Part 19

T'Pol Redux

After my head stopped spinnin', and the realization hit me that T'Pol was touchin' me, I latched onto her hand like it was a lifeline she extended, and now that I think about it, that's exactly what it was. T'Pol and I connected like never before, and it was so much more than when she gave her body to me. Make no mistake, I loved the aggressive way she took charge and made sure I got the message she wanted me. And boy, I bit, hook, line and sinker; as long as I live, I'll never forget her and the fineness she is.

But, how she reached out to me a little while ago...I can't explain it...it just felt like she was really there this time, carin' about me, wantin' to be a comfort as though her life depended upon it. She's never done that before. There wasn't anythin' sterile or business as usual about her when she made it clear how much she wanted to be there for me. My pain was hers.

I weighted that small condolatory hand on my shoulder with mine, and gave it a firm, hard squeeze. I broke down all over again, seeing her eyes, the widest and wisest I've ever seen them, meet mine, as a tidal wave of tender feelings for her and the solace she offered swamped me for keeps. Any walls we've ever had between us collapsed right then and there. This was a woman--a real one--with honest to goodness soul, not some impossible machine!

For what felt like too many minutes, any words I'd wanted to say clogged in the pit of my throat, and all I could do was float between the heaven and hell I'd created for myself since we left home, bent on revenge.

Tellin' her that she should be happy bein' Vulcan, not havin' emotions to brutalize a person every step of the way was a release. She and hers have got the right idea. When I told her I envied Vulcans for that, I meant it with all my heart.

But I was dead wrong about Vulcans not feelin' anythin' for those they've lost after she told me the truth.

It was after what she said about not givin' into emotions, not lettin' them overwhelm and we humans are the ones to be envied that I knew. Armed with the knowledge, I felt strangely at peace...regardless of whether we succeed or fail to save our world. This is the woman I could spend the rest of my life with. By the look in her eyes, I knew she felt the same about me.

Just squeezin' her reassurin' hand some more wasn't enough.

I couldn't help my-damn-self and I think she wanted me to, anyway; we both felt better for my pulling her into my arms. After we hugged, and I have to admit, T'Pol hugs harder than I do, any day of the week, we walked hand in hand to retrieve the portable power cells I'd angrily kicked away. We got to work on the extensive damage; it was a doozy of a patch job, I kid you not... more like a spit and a prayer quick fix, and I'll own up to the fact that my spit's been runnin' pretty dry these days.

Tirelessly, T'Pol and I worked side by side as though that's how it should always be. I'd stake my job on the relays holdin' up and the repair crews have their power, thanks to the timely, practicable suggestions my able assistant made.

I was bein' a real snide pain in the ass when I made the crack about T'Pol helpin' if she could resurrect the dead.

I was only partly-right when I'd said my slain engineer, as well as others of the fallen, had a knack for fixin' fused assemblies. I was angrier than hell at the whole damn universe when I said what I said. Jane Taylor was gifted, and would have made a crackerjack chief engineer on whatever vessel she might have been assigned to, had she survived. The bright flame of her candle was snuffed out way too early...just like Lizzie's.

Yet, T'Pol, my T'Pol, though, is a wiz through and through, an analytical, technophilic natural, at anythin' she sets her mind to do. Whatever she does, she does it so well. She's the first to admit she's Vulcan, not a so-called human magician. She's not immune to makin' mistakes...yeah, right. She should know by now that our disagreein' is what makes life a lot more fun.

You'd think after all this time workin' so closely together I'd know what a sharpie this lovely lady is like the back of my hand. I know some things, but not nearly enough.

There's so much I don't know about her still. But I do know somethin' else, now, somethin' I've locked away in my head. T'Pol's a giver, and I can't thank her enough for what she's given me...the will to go on, to see all of this uphill battle through.

If I only get one wish, it's this: Let there be time. Time that'll lend itself to appreciatin' the paradox that is this remarkable woman, and some small hope that there might be a place where I fit within the beautiful puzzle.

The letter to Taylor's parents done, I close my eyes, free to quietly reflect on what the immediate future could hold. Breathin' in deeply, then lettin' it out with control, the way I've been shown, I solemnly say, "Goodbye, Elizabeth." I take another deep breath, lift my hand up from her framed photograph and rise from my bunk just as the comm sounds off. It's T'Pol.

"Commander, I need you."

Funny, I was thinkin' the same about needin' her, like needin' air for my next breath.

"I'm in the Command Center. Analysis of the co-ratial throposcopic data you collected is complete. I believe the findings confirm what you suspected."

"Sure thing, T'Pol. Be right there." And I am.

TBC

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Four of you have made comments

Yeah, this episode truly was a turning point... For both of them, I think. Both gained new knowledge about themselves. Now, there is no way they could live without incorporating this knowledge into their lives. And thrive on it.

Thanks for saying those unspoken words for us, as you always do, Sue.

I couldn't put into words what T'Pol's touch meant to Trip, what it said about the depth of her feelings. She reached out, not out of lust or anger, to her friend, her lover, and gave him comfort. She's going through this emotional upheaval, but she wants to help him, and he understood what it meant. I'm rambling, but you put succintly into words what a turning point this was in their relationship. Thanks. :)

Nice... you really stayed true to what this was for them and I like how you described what her hand on his shoulder did for him.... This was beautiful, completely beautiful.

Loved your narration of this episode. Everything I was thinking you voiced. Although I remember thinking to myself "Why isn't she hugging him?" so that addition was very nice.
You worked very well withint the confines of the episode, and did a great job of illustrating what a turning point for Trip this was.
Fantastic job.