Homeward

Homeward

By T2Fan

RATING: R
SPOILERS: "Home"
ARCHIVE: Yes.
DISCLAIMER: Enterprise is the property of Paramount. No profit is being made.
SUMMARY: A different take on “Home”. I wanted to get this fic out before the episode aired, and changed my perceptions of what it could be like. Ever since the spoilers came out, I’ve been thinking about how to put a positive spin on it. Well, I could live with the events that happen in “Home” for a while if the episode went this way! My first smutty piece. Be kind. Also, I vaguely remember Vulcan having two suns and more than one moon, but I’m not totally sure, so don’t hate me if my details are not quite right.

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Trip raised his head from his hands and stared, brooding, around the room where he’d been sitting for what seemed like hours. His quarters in T’Pol’s childhood home were nice enough. His gaze took in the walls, painted a serene blue, with artwork done in a minimalist style. He studied a holo-art piece that depicted one of Surak’s more obscure teachings. His gaze dropped to the stone floor. It was a beautiful golden color, shot through with dark veins of a mineral native to Vulcan whose name he could not recall. It was stunning. Dully, he wondered if most Vulcans could appreciate that beauty, or if they only thought of the floor’s practical purpose. During the day the lovely stone soaked up the rays of Vulcan’s blazing twin suns, shining in at the large window. Now, at night, as the temperature plunged, the stone released its heat to warm the room. Practical, yet beautiful. Like T’Pol.

His heart broke a little more as her name echoed in his mind. How could she do this? How could she marry this guy at the drop of a hat? Why the hell wouldn’t she tell him what was going on? He knew she didn’t want this marriage, and that it had something to do with restoring her family honor. What kind of mother was T’Les, to allow her child to sacrifice herself in this way?

Things had been so much better between him and T’Pol, lately. After their blow-up, when she’d all but admitted that she needed him to help her get better, they’d become closer. He had stopped sensing the tenseness she’d had around him ever since the night they’d been intimate. They had begun to reach an understanding. It was unspoken, and unexpressed, but it existed nonetheless. They ate most meals together, worked out at the same times, and found many other excuses to share the same space.

One night, late, she had appeared at his door, PADD in hand. She’d murmured something about a fix for a damaged plasma injector, and then stood, fidgeting. T’Pol never fidgeted. Trip had gently removed the PADD from her grasp, and taken her hands in his. Clear blue eyes had gazed intently into brown ones.

“What is it T’Pol?” he’d said gently. “Come on, just tell me.” And she had. It all came spilling out - her Trellium addiction, her altered emotional state, her current struggle to adjust to a life with emotions. He was horrified, and angry with her for the terrible risks she had taken. Then his anger had evaporated into aching sympathy when he heard the tremble in her voice. So much was made clear. It all made sense, now. When she was done, she’d looked at him stoically, as if to better withstand any condemnation from him. He had simply pulled her into his arms and folded her into a comforting embrace. At first she had held herself stiffly, and then she relaxed into him. He’d felt her breath warm against the curve of his neck. He felt his body respond to her nearness, and fought it down. This was not the time. She needed a friend right now, not a lover to stir up her emotions all over again. So he drew her down to sit beside him on his bunk, and they’d talked long into the night.

“How are you copin’, now?” he’d asked her.

“It has been easier since the nightmares have ceased”, she’d said.

Trip frowned. “What nightmares?”

She hesitated, and then she had told him. “Do you recall when we were in the shower, after our sexual encounter?” she said.

Trip’s body tightened involuntarily at the memory. He flashed his most charming grin at her. “Sure -- things were just gettin’ interestin’ when the red alert went off.” He couldn’t keep the regret from his voice. Now he looked at her impishly, “We never did get to finish what we started there”.

T’Pol regarded him soberly. “In my dream, it finished with my alteration into the final stages of Trellium addiction. I became uncontrollably aggressive. I…I tried to kill you. I now believe that it represented a fear I had of hurting you, of making you a victim of my illness”.

Trip couldn’t stop himself from tracing the outline of her delicate jaw with one finger. “You could never hurt me, T’Pol,” he said, “just like I could never hurt you”.

*****************************************************************

....Silently Trip gazed out of the rounded window and into the Vulcan night. Two moons shone brightly in the sky. That night in his quarters had been a turning point. Their understanding had deepened after that. He turned away with a sigh. And this was another turning point, he thought bitterly.

“Commander... Commander?...Trip-,”. Trip started when he felt a tentative hand on his shoulder. Slowly, he rose to his feet and turned to face her. T’Pol immediately withdrew her hand and clasped both hands tightly behind her, as if willing them into compliance. Resolutely, she raised her eyes to his. The misery he felt was mirrored in her eyes. To anyone else, she would have seemed serene, but he wasn’t anybody else. “T’Pol,” he began, “no one should be asked to do what you’re doin’ -- it’s just plain wrong!” he declared, angrily.

“We have already had this discussion. This is something that I must do”, she said. “The arrangements have been made, the time is already set.”

Trip went cold. “When?”

“Tomorrow at midday.”

He turned away from her then, to hide the despair in his eyes.

“Trip”, she placed a hand on his shoulder, and gently turned him to face her. He was undone by the unshed tears swimming in her eyes. She cared for him, then, really cared. But still, she was going through with this charade of a marriage. She touched his face, a gentle stroke that made him shiver, then she reached up and brushed her lips over his cheek. She turned to go.

She was halfway to the door when Trip uttered the words that made her freeze. “Stay with me tonight”, he said. She turned slowly to him, her face unreadable.

His gaze dropped to his feet. “I’m sorry T’Pol,” he muttered. “I don’t know where that came from, it’s just that-“

In three quick strides, she was in his arms. For a long moment, they simply clung to each other, T’Pol’s face suspiciously damp against his shoulder. Then, he cupped her small, delicate face in his hands. He kissed the tears from her face. “We don’t have to do anything, T’Pol - we could just, ya know-“

“Cuddle?” she said with a trace of amusement.

He smiled with relief at her lighter mood. “Yeah”.

“No”, she said.

Trip stilled, uncertain of her meaning. His confusion disappeared when she slid a hand behind his head and pulled his mouth down to meet hers. She had never kissed him like this before. Their first encounter had been a wild, fast-paced desperate melding of bodies. This was something else. The kiss deepened as mouths opened to each other and tongues explored each other’s warm depths. It was passionate, but loving, as if savoring a unique sweetness. Finally, their lips parted and he stared into her dark eyes. “I want you.” he said simply. “Now.”

“Yes”, she whispered, dark eyes wide and fixed on his.

Candles flickered softly in the dimly-lit room as they unhurriedly undressed each other. It was as if they had all the time in the universe - as if the more it was drawn out the longer it would be before the inevitable end. Soon, the last piece of clothing slid sensuously down T’Pol’s long slim legs. Once again she stood before him; her body gloriously open to his gaze. As before, his eyes swept up and down the amazing sight, but this time, his fingertips traced the pattern along with his eyes. Then, his arm swept behind her back to draw her into a close, possessive embrace. His other hand cupped her breast. A flick of his thumb against her nipple elicited a low moan from T’Pol. He couldn’t contain a grin at his power over this beautiful woman who meant so much to him.

He drew her down to the bed, and began to stroke her all over, following hands and fingertips with lips and tongue. T’Pol arched her back and fisted one hand in his hair as his tongue traced lazy circles around one breast, and then the other, then suckling her into a feverish frenzy. She reached for him, then, and closed slim fingers around him as he gasped, in turn. Her other hand stroked over his arm and back, and she marveled once again at the feel of his taunt, muscular body against hers.

The feel of her hands on him was incredible. His body was tight with barely-controlled desire. But right now, he wanted to give everything to her. He needed to touch her. So he gently disengaged her hand, and kissed her fingers, one by one, as he gazed into her eyes. “Not yet, darlin.’ Let me love you - I want to show you.” And he did.

When he stroked and nuzzled one slim, pointed ear, she trembled with want. With murmured endearments, he touched and stroked, nibbled and caressed all over her body. It was as if he wanted to memorize every part of her. She had never felt so alive and aroused. Then he slid a hand slowly down her smooth, taunt belly, and cupped the warm, moist place between her thighs. She gasped and arched into his hand when he moved his fingers expertly. He kissed her deeply, then replaced his fingers with lips and tongue and teeth. Her breath hitched on a sob of pure ecstasy. As she began to writhe against him, feeling the inevitable crescendo building within her, he moved soundlessly up her body, and locked his steely blue eyes with her brown ones, half-closed in helpless pleasure.

“Look at me, T’Pol.” he commanded. “Say you’re mine, only mine. Tell me.”

She couldn’t take her eyes from his. “I am yours”, she murmured.

“Forever”, he urged.

“Forever”, she agreed.

“Damn, right”, he said, and with one powerful thrust he filled her.

The intensity nearly overwhelmed them both, and as they rocked to completion, they were dimly aware of a nameless force locking one into the other, like the tumblers of a lock giving way to the right key. Feelings flooded them both. The power and the beauty of it surged through them and into their simultaneous shattering release.

****************************************************************

Surrounded by solemn, robed Vulcans, Trip had eyes for only one of them. Outwardly calm, T’Pol’s voice had been flat and cold as she repeated the words of the Vulcan priest who had given her in marriage to Koss. Only her glittering eyes and tense jaw told Trip of her true feelings. It was done. As she made her way slowly through the assemblage, she acknowledged murmured congratulations with the slightest inclination of her head. Then she reached Trip. He said nothing, but his eyes said everything. While she was a married woman, they could never be together as they had been last night. And yet, in their hearts, they would always be together. And there was something more. Something unanticipated.

Do not despair, Thy’la. Although I do not know why, I feel a hope I did not know before.

I don’t despair, darlin’. I feel it, too. I love you, T’Pol.

She felt his emotions wrap around her protectively. T’Pol shocked her assembled guests by brushing her lips softly across Trip’s cheek, and then turned from him and walked away.

The End

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A whole mess of folks have made comments

*sniffles* That was beautiful and heartbreaking and I hope that's exactly how it happens. T'Bastard Koss. T'Mom needs to come to her T'Senses. Okay enough with the T'.

Nice job.

All I can say is: WOW, WOW, WOW!
And they bonded!

Nice... in a few parts it seemed just a little jumbled but I really liked this! Very nice.

I liked it a lot! It gave me a hopeful feeling, which is very much needed, given what we know of the 'Home' episode. I liked Trip being so assertive too! Damn right!

THE END NO!!! you brought us to this point and left us?!!??! NO!!!!!!!!

Okay I'll take it a great wonderful possibility.

Very nicely told. First time with the smut? Good job just enoufgh to make things steamy without getting crazy with it.

absolutely fantastic, I love it !! What about another one ?

Oh wow, there has got to be a sequel! This was really good and I loved it even though I wanted to sob through most of it. Ali D :~)

Wow that was awesome! You should write smut more often :)

Oh No......you just can't stop there......this has to be continued, please do add to this fantastic heart wrenching tale, you just have to, absoloutely superb!!! waiting with fingers crossed.............

"It was as if they had all the time in the universe - as if the more it was drawn out the longer it would be before the inevitable end." I love that sentence almost as much as I love this story.

Beautiful, heartbreakingingly so! Thank you!

That was friggin' beautiful! *sniffle*

That was great, one last night together. They certainly deserve that at least. *Sniff*

Wow....this was....awesome, heavy on the awe. Beautifully written.

That was beautifully written and heartbreaking. Love should conquer all but I guess sometimes it doesn't. They really do deserve to be together and maybe things will change in the future for them. Thank you.

Beautiful and sad . . . and then that unexpected shared feeling of hope at the end. Lovely!

Sweet,tender and sad. Nicely written.