The Dilithium Mission - Part 2

The Dilithium Mission

By: TLR

Rated PG 13: adult content.
Disclaimer: “Enterprise” is the product of UPN and Paramount Picture
Summary: Since I left a huge cliffy, I backed it up a bit to help you get a running start. Trip and T'Pol are stranded, trapped in the cave and trying to stay alive fighting the cold. Things heat up between them but as usual they can't seem to just relax and enjoy it. See how they get things straightened out. Enjoy.

April 15th, 2006

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Part 2

"Come on T'Pol…. Wake up…..You can do it…..Wake up…." Trip took her head and tucked it deep into his neck. The icy feel of her skin brought shivers to his body. He felt her move, only slightly as once more his hand hit that delicate spot.

"Trip.." She murmured, hoarse and low into his ear.

"Thank you god…" Trip mouthed to the cave ceiling and continued his rewarming techniques. Soon T'Pol was once more conscious. She noted the peculiar position they were in and wondered how this came to be. When Trip retold the facts, she was amazed to realize how close to dying she came.

"I think we need to stay awake…Want to try walking about to generate some heat?" Trip asked wanting more to get off the icy surface for a while. T'Pol nodded and eased off him. He helped her to a standing position, wrapping the blanket around both of them. T'Pol couldn't step down on that foot, her ankle now the size of a large grapefruit.

"It is no use Commander…. I will not be able to walk with you. Please do so to keep warm anyway." That name got the blood running hot in the Human again.

"Listen…. When we are on the bridge or in engineering around other crewmen, then call me commander. But when we are alone, call me Trip…..You do it when you want something." His face got back some of the hue that it had lost lying on the floor. Instead of easing her down, as she requested, Trip stood directly in front of her.

"Hold the blanket." He ordered then hoisted her up about the waist. He brought her too him, directing her legs to either side of his bottom. The surprised Vulcan watched in silence.

"Now hold on…" He started marching around the room, making pass after pass with military precision. His body temperature rose steadily over several minutes, as the pink returned to his face and hands. Though T'Pol was not physically working out like her mate, her efforts to stay on him created some rise in her body temp too. With that, she started receiving the radiating heat from the Human's body and her senses became more and more alert. When Trip was exhausted, rather than returning her to that cold floor, he went over and sat atop the boulder in the far corner again. T'Pol positioned on his lap, was forced to stay there and wait for his next motion.

"Are you all right?" she asked hearing his breathing and feeling the racing of his heart.

"Yeah… nothing like a good workout to get the blood pumping." He smiled thinking about the current situation and how the Vulcan must be trying to deal with it. He decided to get her temperature up some more. "You've gained some weight."

T'Pol looked at him with daggers coming from her eyes. "My weight is a constant 47.5 kilograms. That is normal for my height by Vulcan standards."

"Whoa, now you're telling me your weight. We are getting really intimate here." This statement only further flustered the young woman.

"There is nothing intimate about one's weight. It is a matter of my medical record." She stared at him as he began to laugh.

"I don't know what you find so amusing about these comments." Now even the Vulcan's body temperature was returning to normal. This made a nice change for Trip, since his body temp was the lower of the two. She radiated soft warmness that started to break the chill of the icy seat he was on.

"Now we're cooking." His remark once more irritated the female and gave him even more to laugh about. "Ready for another couple of rounds around the cavern?" Without warning, he yanked her up and came to a full standing position.

"Ever play horsy on Vulcan?" He asked before taking off in a little trot. The bumping of their bodies together rose both their heat levels, but for grossly other reasons. T'Pol hung on, pulling her chest to his and resting her head on his shoulder. The feel of the friction between them was igniting the bond in ways she hadn't wanted it too. Their closeness, this being together and even the heat that he supplied her body was arousing her senses. She could feel the same arousing sensations in him, knowing to fight this would be almost impossible. Their breathing grew rapid, as Trip stopped his motions in the middle of the room.

It was apparent to the Human, this little horse play had created some adverse feelings. The only problem was that these feelings were incredibly pleasurable and he wasn't sure if he could stop himself. His manhood was beginning to get into the act, trying against the pressure of her pelvis to find room to grow. Now both their minds were tuned to the same thought.

Easing his mate from him, Trip rested T'Pol on her one good foot. He held onto her, keeping her balance and her closeness safe within his embrace. His eyes searched hers for some sign that this was what she wanted too. It was there, clear as day, in the oversized orbs that seemed even softer in the dim lighting. He reached down and placed a soft hand to her jaw. His touch sent shivers through both of them and the Vulcan closed her eyes awaiting his kiss. The pleasure of this moment, frozen in time seemed intoxicating, disabling all their senses. No longer were they in a cold damp cavern. Now they were safely back in each other's arms.

It seemed the longest moment, waiting for her mate's touch, but it finally came, dissolving all thought in either of them. They kissed passionately, holding each position their mouths found for an extended taste. Trip's arms came up and engulfed her small frame. Even the pain from her injuries was forgotten within the grandeur of this touch. T'Pol's hands moved up to lose themselves in the blond strands at the back of his head. She pulled him deeper into their passions, gasping with every parting of their lips. She devoured his mouth, groping and searching with her tongue, through the soft areas there.

Finally coming up for air, the surprised lovers were at a quandary. Their bodies ached to be together, but they knew their last encounter only brought with it hard feelings. For T'Pol giving into the needs of the bond was second nature. She had long desired his touch, but he made it clear that he wasn't as thrilled with that idea. His words to her after learning of their bond, "And this thing between us… inn't that big a deal", kept holding her back from addressing his distance with her.

For Trip however, his love for the young commander hadn't changed. His constantly meeting resistance though, had him very shell shy. The thought of getting another "exploration" speech in the morning was enough to dampen even this level of arousal. He wanted nothing more than to take her, here on the spot, but his mind nagged at him over and over again. He decided to try to get a clearer picture of her thoughts on the matter.

"If we go through with this…." His voice was ragged and husky as he tried to speak. He exhaled several times, his mind swirling in several directions at once. He tried to find the words to say, but was answered before he could ask.

"It would raise our body heat exponentially." T'Pol was equally as husky, her face darting forward to try and entice his. Her mind was as heady, lost fully to the pull of the bond. She could feel his desire halt almost as fast as it started. To her surprise, Trip walked over and set her down on a nearby rock. The look on her face was hard to hide, as he pulled away and left her there. The Human stood with his back to her trying to cope with the sudden shock to his libido.

(You wanted an answer, Trip old man, and you got it didn't you. Well I guess it's better before you put your heart out there again. At least this way, there is no embarrassing morning after to deal with.) He leaned up against the cave wall red faced and ready to cry.

T'Pol sat there totally shocked by his refusal of her. It was as she thought. Her mate did not wish to be bonded to her any longer, but was going through with it because he was, as he stated, a gentleman. This made her remain quiet for a long time. It would be nearly an hour before anyone would speak again.

Trip was the one that broke the silence. He stood and went over to the napsac. From it he pulled the water bag and offered it up quietly to T'Pol. "Want some?" He murmured so low that even the Vulcan was having a hard time hearing it. She simply shook her head and looked away. Frustrated by what she was feeling, T'Pol decided that accepting the silence was worse than their rather loud miscommunications.

"I sense your anger." She stated plainly, not turning to look in the Human's direction.

"I'm not angry." Trip returned still too mentally exhausted from their last round. He saw the woman roll her eyes as she always did when she sensed he was lying and retorted. "Well, I am not angry at you…. I'm angry at myself."

"Why are you angry with yourself?" T'Pol asked the dreaded question Trip was hoping she'd let drop.

"Cause I know better than to mix professional and personal matters."

"In what way did you do this?" T'Pol turned where she sat and was now facing him.

"I let my self become too…. familiar with you and I know better than that." His words seemed like he was mentally chastising himself. The Vulcan thought over what he said and decided to translate what he was really trying to hide.

"You are angered by this bond we share." Trip looked at her surprised the topic even came up.

"No…I said the bond wasn't such a big deal and I meant it." He couldn't understand why all of a sudden his heart sank into the floor. An overwhelming sadness came to him and he repositioned himself, growing more uncomfortable in his spot.

"Indeed….But the bond, it angers you." T'Pol interpreted his answer as she had before. 'He was not wanting to be in this bond'.

Frustrated Trip interrupted. "Look T'Pol…..the bond doesn't anger me…..half the time I can't even feel it. There are only a few occasions when I happen to see you meditating or we happen to think of something at the same time. I mean it…It's no big deal." He saw her head bow and felt the sadness within him grow even stronger.

"Look we are both tired…. I am just not thinking straight. Don't mind what I am saying. I think we should try and get more rest. It will be light soon." He slid down from his rock and sat the satchel down beside him. He watched as the Vulcan remained on her boulder, face turned away from him. This only magnified the guilt he was already feeling from walking away from her earlier.

"Ya gonna try to get some sleep?" He asked hoping she was still speaking to him.
He saw her head shake, indicating she would remain where she was. This didn't do him any good. With her bum ankle, T'Pol needed his assistance to walk and if she wasn't going to get off the rock and try to rest, he couldn't go to sleep until he knew she was okay. Not that he could sleep with this pit in the bottom of his stomach. His guts had never been so tied in knots. The engineer told himself it was from interrupting sex and it would ease, but deep down he knew it was something much more. After another ten minutes of silence he interrupted.

"Why do you keep asking me about the bond angering me?" Trip noticed her fixation on the subject and hoped it held a clue to what was bothering them both.

"It is nothing…" Her words were so low that the Human had to strain to hear them.

"Can't be nothing, if you keep bringing it up all the time. It's like those dreams you were so interested in. Why do you care what I think about the bond?" He got up and came over to where she sat sensing she was in need of a friend.

"You can not understand…You are Human." Now her response told Trip he had missed something and he was not quite sure but thought he might be in a bit of hot water for it.

"Well then tell me about it….How am I supposed to learn about it if you won't teach me?"

"Humans are not used to being bonded. They would no doubt find it very disorienting." T'Pol became more clinical, her hurt inflections tightened up like a pro.

"That's not what I sense….In fact other than you telling the occasional joke and me being able to read Vulcan, I don't really see that big of a change." The Human reviewed his thoughts trying to see if he could remember the last time they shared a subconscious moment together.

"That is because I have been blocking it from you ever since we discovered it. You would no doubt be overwhelmed by the sensations and I didn't want you to be too greatly affected by it." T'Pol's statement brought out a bit of frustration in Trip although he couldn't understand why. If what she said was true, her blocking the bond would have made it more comfortable for him, instead, the fact that she was blocking it from him only pissed him off more.
(Figures that she didn't want to be bonded to me. She's even gone so far as to block me out of her mind too, as if blocking me out of her life wasn't bad enough.)

"So how does this blocking work?" His tone reflected the anger he felt, much like the tone he had upon first learning of the bond in engineering.

"While I am awake, I can block the affects of the bond from your mind successfully. But when I am asleep or meditating, it is not possible." She saw the recognition in his eyes remembering that most of their together time was in dreams both day and night time ones.

"Is it normal to block a bond like this?" He asked, wondering if she'd be acting this way if he were Vulcan. He saw her hesitate and urged her to answer his question. "Well is it?"

"No….It is not encouraged because it often brings more discord to the bond than it saves." It was Trip's turn to roll his eyes. (So that's why I feel like shit.)

"If it is discouraged, then why do it?

"Vulcans are born within a bond, and spend their entire lives within one. Only death breaks that bond. From conception, the child shares their parent's bond and is weaned but not totally. They then form a bond with their mate and live out the remainder of their lives within that bond. It is a natural state for us." Her words made strange sense to the Human as he listened very intently. "Humans live out their lives alone. They are not used to this type of a connection."

"So blocking the bond keeps either of us from feeling it?" Trip knew his answer was somewhere.

"No…it keeps you from experiencing the bond. I, however, can not block the bond from my mind." She stared at a stray pebble on the dirt covered floor.

"So you can read my thoughts but I can't read yours?" The Human was once more getting angered.

"No…I would not read your thoughts without your permission. I can sense your emotions, as I always could except now they are much stronger and clearer."

"So if you can't block the bond, how are you able to block my thoughts?" Trip thought her explanation a bit fishy.

"You have the ability to speak to me in your mind if you choose to. I do not go past that. In doing so, you can make a conscious choice to share your thoughts with me in that way." His eyes raised and face contorted with his puzzlement.

"How?"

"Like this") Her words were clear in his head as if she were standing beside him whispering in her ear. Trip startled a moment then settled when he realized it was only a demonstration.

"I heard that loud and clear. How did you do that?" Trip wanted to try.

"Merely think your thoughts at me instead of speaking the words" Again came the mental whisper. The Human summoned up his courage and tried to think of something benign to say. Instead the first telepathic question he asked her was "Why don't you trust me?" He gritted his teeth and hoped she hadn't heard that little slip.

"I do trust you….I understand now that you are not comfortable with the bond and wish it did not exist." Trip was floored. For a telepathic creature, she sure had her wires crossed.

"I said it's not a big deal… I wish you'd believe me….. I don't mind that we are bonded, you can stop feeling so guilty for causing it." His response was knee jerk making even the Vulcan look startled.

"I did not cause this bond to form between us. It was a mutual decision. Either of us could have stopped it, but we didn't." Now her words were defensive.

"Well it's kind of hard to stop something you don't know exists." Trip's comeback was a bit harsher than he intended. "Look we had sexual relations and this bond thing happened, it's not that big a deal, all right."

"Our having sexual relations didn't cause the bond to form, it merely solidified it." T'Pol regained her composure.

"What? …. You told me that a bond forms between two people who mate….Well….."

"Human's idea of mating and Vulcan's are two different things. My investigation of the event appears that it started just before we entered the Expanse." Now Trip was totally flabbergasted. Yes, he and the first officer were friends, but he didn't have any feelings for her other than that of friends, or did he.

"What do you mean it started back then….. We mated once,….. almost a year ago…… We weren't even involved before we entered the expanse." He was totally confused.

"When Human's mate it is said to involve sexual relations. When Vulcan's mate, it is the act of getting to know one's purposed mate better." She looked at him trying to convey all the times he bent over backward to be around the Vulcan. Trip saw the images in his mind and wondered how she could have possibly misinterpreted the events. He even saw their time in decon all those years ago. This time though he could see from a third person perspective and noted the exaggerated rubbing and attention he was paying to the young woman's attributes. He saw his acting up when she tried to get out of the Frankenstein picture and even more his frustration when she ended up being the captain's date.

"T'Pol…. I was just being friendly….that's all." He tried to get her to understand it from his point of view.

"Vulcan's don't make friends, especially of the opposite sex. We are trained to devote our minds to other things and await our time of marriage." She heard him snicker at that.

"Yeah and look how good that turned out."

"My bond with you made it impossible for me to concentrate on my family's obligations. It was wrong of me to allow that to happen, but I was under such stress in the Expanse and my injuries didn't help in my control of the situation." Now her voice was very clinical and Trip felt like she wasn't talking to him but to Phlox.

"Want to elaborate?" The Human was tired of feeling like a piece of meat, choice or otherwise.

"During my first year aboard Enterprise, I was attack by one of the Vulcans who came aboard." She started and that got Trip out of his funky mood and into kill mode. He had a mad sweep of homicidal rage that made him need to know more.

"Tolaris?" Trip assumed it was him since he was assigned to T'Pol during their stay. She nodded. "What do you mean he attacked you?" This part caught in his throat as the anger grew beyond that which the Human had ever known.

"He forced me into a mind meld and in doing so gave me a degenerative neurological disease. I fought him off, but didn't get away from him in time." She saw her mate's temperature rising, the look in his eyes was that of murderous rage.

"Why didn't you tell me… I would've killed the guy." Trip reacted out of instinct and the Vulcan knew it.

"That is why Phlox told the captain. He protected me from Tolaris and got rid of the Vulcans immediately." She quieted looking down to the floor in shame.

"Did Phlox cure you of the disease?" Her mate's anger was now being channeled into caring.

"No….. there was no cure and my symptoms were getting worse despite his attempts at stabilizing them. By the time we entered the Expanse, I had episodes where I couldn't walk, couldn't hold things. My limbs shook so bad that I was almost unfit for duty." Trip's eyes watered at her describing the hardships she went through alone. He wished he'd known to lend her a helping hand and sympathetic ear.

"The spacial distortions in the expanse, along with the crew's unusually high emotional states made working difficult. I wondered if I should have listened to Soval and not gone at all." T'Pol was questioning her own logic on the matter when she heard him speak up.

"We would have never made it without you. You were essential in destroying the Xindi weapon, destroying the spheres…. Hell, even your help in engineering. I lost so many crewmembers and you just jumped in and started fixing things. We would have been lost without you." Trip put a soft hand upon her shoulder. The touch was what the young woman was craving and she closed her eyes momentarily to savor the feelings it brought.

"When we came upon the Seleya, my exposure to the Trellium damaged my pathways further. As I recovered I noticed my Pa'Nar symptoms were all but gone. They began to return, however, the more I recovered from my exposure." T'Pol took a deep breath, knowing this next part would most probably turn her mate from her for good.

"I began experimenting with Trellium, first ingesting small quantities and the symptoms abated. I also noticed that my interactions with the crew became easier. I wanted more…" She could feel the change in the Human's emotions as if he knew what she was gonna say next.

"I found a way to inject Trellium directly into my blood stream, enhancing its affects. It wasn't until I realized that I was addicted did I seek out help from Phlox." T'Pol fell silent waiting to hear her mate berate her illogical actions.

"When did you know you were addicted?" Was the only thing he asked, a very caring and concerned tone to his voice.

"When I almost died trying to get to Cargo bay 2. It was decompressed by the Xindi attack and I fell, breaking loose my oxygen hose. I realized that was not a logical way to act and sought out Phlox's assistance." Trip's eyes watered. He knew she was having a rough time, but had no idea what pain she was going through.

"So Phlox cured you of the addiction?" He worried she may still have some problems.

"I stopped using Trellium with his help, but the damage to my neuro pathways is irreversible."

"And this Pa' " He tried to remember the term she used. (Pa'Nar syndrome) Trip heard it in his mind as he had the other things. "Is that cured too at least?"

"No….It is arrested at its current level, but I still have episodes." She felt her mate's heart sink lower.

"So the Trellium did help a little." Trip thought he'd interpreted it right.

"No… The Trellium did nothing but damage my pathways. In the forge, T'Pau performed a corrective mind melt and helped to stabilize my system a bit. I am not as bad as I was, but I will never be totally cured." She sensed through him that that wasn't enough and continued. "It will no longer progress." With that his mood lightened a bit.

"I don't understand, what has this got to do with the forming of our bond?" Her mate's voice was strangely soft and caring.

"The control pathways I would normally use to block distractions were damaged. I allowed your presence to affect me and was unaware of what was happening." T'Pol looked downward, almost ashamed to admit she was not acting logically.

"Well I have been known to have that affect on women." Trip added a bit of levity and noticed her sidelong look at him in return. He smiled sweetly, the smile that always kept her from concentrating on anything else. Something inside the Human felt her lighten to that gesture and decided to go further.

"If Vulcans live in bonds then how did you not realize we were bonded until now?" He leaned down to catch her eyes and bring them back to his face.

"I didn't believe that Humans could bond. There has never been any study of the previous Human Vulcan pairings in the past." She felt his humor and looked deeper into his eyes.

"What….you mean we are not the first to have interspecies sex?" The grin on his face turned into an all out chuckle.

"I told you that the sexual relations didn't cause the bond, it just strengthened it." She settled his jovialness down a level. "And as for the other pairings….they didn't reside on Vulcan or Earth, so no one could study their progress."

"How come?" Trip was very curious about that fact.

"Because neither species condones it. Humans are still quite leery of Vulcans and Vulcans don't believe in interspecies mating. They would have no home on either planet, so they chose to leave." T'Pol fell silent remembering the argument she had with her mother just before her marriage to Koss. Trip sensed it too, but for him it was the first he knew of the discussion. He saw how T'Pol defended her feelings for him to the woman who was just trying to protect her daughter from a lifetime of heartache. As if a door closed, the vision was gone and Trip was alone in his mind again. This didn't agree with him all that much.

"You said it wasn't the act of sex that caused it…. Then what did…?" He wanted to know how this very disciplined woman got so far away from her cultural teachings.

"Our interactions, our intermittent touch….It is hard to block against emotions when you are having a hard time surviving." She looked at him and saw he didn't understand.

"On Vulcan, when a couple marries, they are not starting a physical relationship. They are merely announcing to all around that they are intending to get to know each other better in hopes a bond will form. They initially reside in the same house, but not in the same room. They talk, get to know each other's interests and opinions. They share meals and meditation together to get better acquainted with the feel of each other's minds. Eventually they share brief touch, again to allow for sharing of their feelings. If all goes well, they will feel comfortable enough with one another for a bond to form. If it hasn't within a Vulcan year then the couple can dissolve the marriage without any dishonor to either of them. At that time they can both seek out new people to marry and try again." T'Pol hoped this would help her mate to understand.

"So all the times we ate together, went to the movies, talked,……. That was considered mating?" he was skeptical, but knew Vulcans were a much more uptight species than Humans.

"For Vulcans yes, but I knew that Humans considered these interactions to be merely friendly and didn't think much beyond that. After the Captain told me I should fraternize more…"she started and was stopped by her mate's surprised outburst.

"The captain wanted you to fraternize more?" There was a weird sense of jealousy in the back of Trip's mind that made him totally perplexed at its presence.

"Yes… he felt I wasn't getting along with the crew as well as I should and ordered me to become more familiar with them. 'Get to know them better' was his exact words."

"So you did as he asked?" Trip saw her nod.

"Then I guess we have the Captain to thank for this…" His voice was a bit sarcastic until he heard her words.

"No…It was not the Captain's fault that I found you very intriguing." That got his full attention.

"Something about you caught my interest. I found myself thinking of you many times during the day." Trip turned a bit more and was very close to her now.

"You mean you had the hots for me? When did this start?" His mind seemed to crave this knowledge even though he relayed it as if it were just another joking comment.

"From the moment we met. Just as your mind did me." Trip was surprised by that. "What?"

"You can't deny that when we met you were very intrigued by me." Now T'Pol sounded a bit uppity even though the Human knew there was quite a bit of truth to her statement.

"As I recall you turned down my handshake and turned your back on me." He tried to get past his embarrassment at having been found out.

"As a proper Vulcan female should. We are trained to dissuade all male contact save that of our intended bond mate until the time of marriage. Afterward, there is absolutely no interaction other than professional, without your mate being present." She held her head upright indicating the strictness of the rule.

"Well you sure blew that one." Trip was sarcastic about just how little she truly followed it.

"And I suppose fondling my ear in decon and slipping your fingertips below the level of my undergarment is acceptable practice for Humans who are not properly acquainted with each other." T'Pol wanted to bring his smugness down a notch. Trip's smile contorted, his trying to hide the pleasure of the moment from her prying glance.

"Where do you think you went wrong?" Trip tried to get the smirk out of his words.

"I believe it was unwise for me to have asked your opinion about the letter. If I had merely gone through with my obligations much of this would not have happened." Trip was a bit offended by her words.

"If you'd gone and become Mrs. Koss sooner, we probably wouldn't be here. T'Pol, I know Humans like to think that we could have done this on our own, but let's face it. If we didn't have you here, we would have probably been blown up long ago. We weren't ready for what was out here, but with you at least we had a better chance." She could feel his sadness at her reconsidering him as a mate.

"I know my presence was necessary. I felt it on our first mission. You were angry with me, as was the Captain, but as we descended into the Rigil 10 complex, you were both glad I was there." Trip remembered the moment and had to agree. He was like a scared kid in that maze of alien life and he had been glad to be paired up with her.

"So you know we needed you here… I needed you here." His words were a slip but one he was willing to make. T'Pol nodded softly.

All these interactions…. They just formed the bond between us?" He asked wondering why he didn't recognize it.

"That and the neuropressure sessions. Touch is an intimate form of communication for Vulcans especially within a bond. It intensifies it." Trip suddenly flashed back on the horsy ride.

"Is that why it got so intense between us earlier?" He wondered how their little romp got hot and heavy so quickly. She nodded again.

"If you knew this could happen, then why did you offer Neuropressure?" Trip felt like it was his fault now that they were having so many problems.

"There are trained people on Vulcan who can perform neuropressure without becoming bonded. They are called healers. They train for many years to learn to block the emotions that come through with the touch. Even though I performed neuropressure appropriately, I was not trained to block those emotions. I meditated before and after each session, but…"

"I still got to you." Trip finished her statement.

"Yes…. You were going through great sadness… The loss of your sister, your anger at the Xindi, your feelings of relief at my presence. They were all very powerful emotions to be sensing." She lowered her head.

"Especially for someone who was less able to defend herself against them." Trip was now figuring this thing out. "So this bond was my fault."

"No….. It was no one's fault. It came about because we both developed a deep affection for one another." This stunned the Human. Somewhere inside he knew T'Pol had loved him, but to speak of this love, even in this way was amazing for her. It was really too bad she still didn't feel this way. His down feelings got through to her almost immediately.

"You feel I don't care for you in the same way since my marriage to Koss." T'Pol said what hit her mind, as it hit her.

"I what…."Trip was flustered and shocked all at the same time.

"You said I still don't have the same affection for you."

"I didn't say anything…..I wish you'd stop reading my mind." Trip was now more defensive than before.

"I didn't…. your mind spoke to mine. Is that how you truly feel?" T'Pol was now the one to be shocked.

"Look, until I get the hang of this mind to mind thing, I wish you wouldn't pay so close attention to what I may happen to think at you." He scrambled to try and keep his thoughts to himself.

"You didn't answer me….Is that how you truly feel?" T'Pol was persistent.

"Well….." Trip was at a loss as to what to say to this one. "You weren't too happy to see me after you got back from Vulcan. And even after your marriage ended, you seemed to want to keep me at arms length….what was I supposed to think?" He decided honesty may be the best thing at this point.

"I know my marriage to Koss was very difficult on you, but I had no choice." She was very defensive and Trip eased her with two little words. "I know."

"Afterward, the thought of being away from you was too hard to bear. I negotiated the extension on the marriage contract to try and put off the pain for both of us. It didn't work though. Our cultures both believe it was no longer appropriate for us to interact as we had. My decision just seemed to hurt us both." T'Pol felt his hand on her shoulder move to take her hand in his.

"Look, I know that you felt the same way I did when you married Koss. But after the marriage ended, why didn't you come to me?" Trip was hearing for the first time the things he'd wanted to know for a year now.

"My mother's death brought with it a myriad of feelings. Feelings I was having a hard time dealing with." She started and heard her mate say mentally (I would have helped you with them, the way you helped me…)

To this she returned..( I know that you would have but the pain was too great. I needed time to figure it out.) "The Kir'Shara was important to her….She gave her life trying to find it. I had to understand the senselessness of her death. I had hopes that I would find it in those writings."

"Did you?" Trip asked feeling her pain as if it were all fresh and new.

"No…. The writings were important to our people. They are still trying to cope with the changes, but it still makes her death seem illogical." To this her mate scooped her into his arms and held her close. She allowed her arms to curl around his shoulders and her head to hide in the curve of his neck. Their closeness was soothing, to both of them and for a moment, Trip thought it was simply because they weren't fighting. Then he sensed a strange feeling of happiness and knew it wasn't because they were friends again. He pulled her back and looked into her dampened face.

"Unblock the bond." His words were soft but held to them an order.

"You will find it too disorienting." She answered knowing how it affected her.

"If you can handle it, then so can I. Now unblock the bond….please." He added the nicety in hopes of avoiding a long discussion on the matter. Trip saw his mate close her eyes and within a brief second there came a whirlwind of noise, sound and clutter of thoughts that hit his mind like a tornado. He became dizzy, feeling as though he were falling and swirling all at the same time. It was deafening, the thoughts overlapping with each other and echoing off themselves to come back at him. Trip squinted, physically in pain, his head about to explode from the volume. Then quickly as it came, it was silent again.

"What was that?" He almost swore as he tried to regather his own thoughts.

"That was my mind. I warned you it would be disorienting." She looked into his eyes with a sweet sadness reflected in hers.

"And you can think with all that going on?' Trip saw her shrug her shoulders.

"We are born with it, and can sift through it to concentrate. The damage to my neuropathways has made it a bit harder to concentrate at times, but I manage." T'Pol wanted to ease back onto his chest and stay there for an eternity. Instead her mate wanted to know more.

"Do other Vulcans have this clutter going on?" He saw her nod and felt defeated almost before he could process what she was saying.

"There may be a way for you to avoid the clutter." She spoke low, her eyes staring at the spot where she wanted her face to be again.

"How?" He asked wanting to make this bond work.

"Instead of accessing all my mind, you may reside in just one place. That place I reserve for my meditation." She brought her eyes back to his.

"The white room?" his voice sounded iffy. "Would I be there all alone?" Trip wondered how he would do being isolated like that.

"No, I would be there with you. And it need not stay a white room. It can be anything we want it to be." This brought the Human's mind back to feeling encouraged.

"What would be the purpose of being in the room?" it was clear that he didn't understand the workings of this exchange.

"I would reside in your mind and you in mine. It would give us each better access to what the other is feeling. I am already in your mind. I have been blocking you from entering mine."

"And this would be helpful?" Trip started to get nervous knowing his thoughts about the female.

"Yes…you could better know my feelings and would be less inhibited in questioning them." T'Pol knew his being a gentleman kept her mate from talking plainly to her.

"You mean we'd be better in sinc with each other's emotions and know what is going on with them." His words held a bit of hopefulness. He saw her nod and started in a very exuberant manner. "Well then let's get started." Trip sat up straight and awaited further instructions.
T'Pol saw this and was quite pleased at his response.

"Give me your hand." She took the hand and spread out the fingers. Bringing them to her face, she placed the appropriate ones on the pressure points and moved her hand to do the same on his features. "There may be a moment of discomfort. Breathe through it." She eased her presence into his mind, which felt to Trip like some increasing tension. He winced a bit, but as quickly as the pressure came, it vanished.

(Close your eyes) No the instructions were coming through his mind. (Just allow your self to daydream, relax.) He did as he was told and found himself flashed out of the cavern. Now he was standing in T'Pol's quarters aboard the Enterprise. He looked directly in front of him and there she stood.

"This is better than the white room." Trip smiled and looked deeply into her childlike eyes.
It was going well until a wave of sadness hit him squarely in the pit of his gut. "OH" he winced and looked for an explanation. "What is this?"

"It is the bond. It is discontented." She stood closer to him to try and ease the feeling.

"Why,..... because we joined minds?" He asked and saw her shake her head.

"It has been this way for a long while. Our problems have made it difficult to bear at times." She eased up and leaned into his body. The feeling in the pit of his stomach eased a bit.

"This is what you've been feeling all this time?" Trip was horrified at the intensity of the sadness.
He saw her affirmative response. "How did it get so bad?"

"We have been apart…… That threatens the bond and it will respond to try and correct the problem." Her head rested now on is shoulder. Trip's arms came up and encircled her out of instinct. As they did so, a big portion of the feeling disappeared, replaced with a bit more calm.

"So being together…. It helps the bond?" He pulled her to him and felt the feelings starting to fade all together. T'Pol nodded, her eyes closed and her mind drifting from the turmoil and enjoyed a break from the sadness. Her mate began rubbing her back and shoulders, making the sensation come back to him in spades. His tense muscles eased and he was feeling a bit euphoric at the touch.

"And good together time…?" His eyes were closed and feelings of sadness totally gone now.

"They bring great contentment to the bond." The Vulcan was in a heavenly state. She bathed herself in the feelings of contentment that started to come through. Trip eased back from her and saw his mate's eyes were closed. He leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips. As he did so, a thrill shot through him like a lightening bolt, from head to toe and back again. They parted and his breathing was quick and excited.

"What was that?" A big grin came over his features.

"The bond enhances positive attention to make it more pleasurable. You were sensing my feelings at your kiss." Trip saw the briefest of smiles cross her lips.

"You smiled." He exclaimed noting how perfectly lovely she looked while doing it.

"I may control my emotions outwardly, but I still feel them inwardly. You are now inside, past the controls and barriers. It is not inappropriate to smile in here.” She afforded him another look at that smile and he fell in love with it. Excited, Trip took her face into his hands and brought it back to his lips. He began nibbling her lower lip then went to the upper, giving it the same time and attention. The thrills kept coming, like little chills that brought goose flesh to his skin. He was tingling wildly when their lips finally parted.

"I love you." He exclaimed not able to hold back the words if he wanted to.

"As I do you." T'Pol returned quickly without hesitation. This made Trip's already good humor soar. He was flying higher than a jet fighter and never wanted to come down. His smile was only reflected by the one he'd put on the Vulcan's lips. They stood there enjoying their closeness for many more minutes.

Their mouths grew hungry for each other again, as they came together in another barrage of kisses. Trip felt the heat building inside of him but this time the feelings of doubt were all but gone. He eased back from her, seeing the headiness in her eyes as they parted.
"I want us to be together….but.."

"You fear I will not want you afterward." She finished his statement without him having too. He was shocked, but pleasantly so.

"Well…." He asked feeling as though he already knew the answer. He held his breath hoping his senses were accurate.

"I can want no other. My actions in the past were from fear of my illogical feelings for you. I did not know of the bond and the strong emotions I had were not appropriate. If I had realized we were bonded, our discussion afterward, and even our past year would have been much different." Her eyes pleaded with him to return to her mouth. He did so, pulling her body so tight against his, he felt he would crush her.

(God I love this bond….!!!!) There was a stray exclamation that came from his mind that garnered a rather eerie response. (giggle) the sound came soft and low from his mate's consciousness and it sent the Human's mind into a further whirl wind. He grabbed her up into his arms, scooping her feet from the floor and carrying her to the bed.

"Can we do this here?" He asked now wanting her body even more. He saw her nod. "And our real selves, will they be?" Trip wondered what was going on back in the cave.

"No… we haven't moved from our meld. This will be nothing more than a dream," She leaned in and felt a bit of hesitation on his part.

"I want the real thing….no more dreaming of this. That is all I've been doing for the longest time." His voice was heady, his eyes dark and steamy.

"Then choose to awaken from this dream and it will be so." T'Pol's hand came up and caressed his face lovingly.

"When I awake, will I find our resolution was nothing but a dream?" He asked almost scared that their entire conversation could have been just a mental manipulation.

"No… we have corrected our problems… It is time to put this bond back into order. To do so would require our being together…." She saw a faint bit of doubt and continued…. "I promise."

Trip nervously closed his eyes and began to concentrate on waking up. There was a small balled up feeling in the pit of his stomach, a force of habit that said he would not like what he found on the other side of this dream. He pushed down his disquieted nerves and began to search for a way out of this paradise. It was difficult, and as he started to fade from that happy place, the fear of his past came back bolder to meet his waking moment.

******************************************************************************

Part 3

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A whole mess of folks have made comments

Great mental dialog, and summary of TnT's interactions, TLR. Lovin it, as usual!!!!

Great chapter, looking forward to the next one.

excellent can't wait,

Evil, TLR? I'm not sure I like the sound of that. I did like this, though... but I think I would have preferred to stay in bed instead of going back to that icy cave, LOL!

I'm liking this one. I'm glad TnT are coming to an understanding. Looking forward to the next part.

This is great!! And I'm actually excited about the evil warning for the next part (don't know why)! I can't wait till the next part and thanks for another great installment. The dialogue was amazing.

That was great! As the others have said - fantastic dialog.

That was great! As others have commented - fantastic dialog!

Excellent. Cant wait for the next part. Soon Please.

To be honest I didn't like it half as much as the prologue and the first part.
Too much talking, too much stating the obvious, too much twisted bond-theories taken from the thin air.

Somehow the 'spirit' which made me wait for the second part is gone. That's not Trip and T'Pol anymore.
Those two would rather have a big fight before one of them accidentally slipped in something meaningful that would finally open their eyes.

Lengthy, in most part rather boring conversations... that's just not it for me. Sorry to disappoint.

Wonderful, please continue soon. ! Thanks for your time !

TLR you've managed to create something that doesn't really exsist in StarTrek or TV for that matter; a really terrific flashback story. Their convos were all about their fiery interactions over their four years together. As a TnT shipper, what's not to adore about that? I truely loved the T\T dialog. The flow of your story was easy to read, almost as easy as watching an episode; and your cliff's are killin' me, but compelling me to come back for more. Great job! Keep it coming!

I am running a bit behind, I will work at getting both story updates up by Weds. Sorry...T.

Please update soon. Still waiting for chapter 3!!!

Yes, pleeeaaase update! I love this story!!!

I haven't forgotten about you all. The class I am in is very taxing and expects 2-3 papers a week. I got a bit waylaid keeping up, but the next parts to this story and a new life will be out soon, I hope. Sorry for the delay. T.

This is one of the few stories that seem like it could really happen in an Enterprise episode. I really apreciate that; though on a less logical more emotional note I did not apreciate the horrible clifhanger please update soon!

Please continue. Love this. I hope the captian finds them in a conpromising situation.