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Author - Triplover | Genre - Angst | Genre - Romance | Main Story | Rating - R | W
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“He’s not coming out of it, T’Pol. We need to reach him.”
T’Pol shook her head again. “I know nothing of how to meld! I cannot do this!”
Finally Captain Archer said the words he’d resisted saying. “THEN CHARLES TUCKER WILL DIE!”
At the Captain’s statement T’Pol’s eyes widened in surprise. Why did it have to be her? She couldn’t do this! If anything she was the last person in the world that could save Commander Tucker! She had shunned him once again, pushed him away thinking that she could only do it alone. Why wouldn’t he listen to her? “He won’t listen to me!” T’Pol fought.
“T’Pol, I realize you two are at odds right now, but you’ve got to try!”
T’Pol glared at Archer fiercely. “We aren’t just at odds, Captain.”
Archer grabbed T’Pol’s shoulders gently. She could see the pure determination in his eyes. “He’s leaving Enterprise, T’Pol. He asked for a transfer. He didn’t even want you to know. He asked me not to tell you. So believe me when I know that this won’t be easy, but if you don’t do this… I just don’t know how he’ll survive. He doesn’t have any fight left in him. He’s giving up. Phlox says he won’t make it. He’s fading. He needs you.”
T’Pol searched for something to say. She wanted desperately to find a way out of this, but she knew in truth that it was a hopeless endeavor. “I don’t know how to do this. How am I supposed to meld with him?!”
Archer smiled. “Before I was finally able to get Surak’s katra out of my mind, I was able to get a little information out of him about many different things. I learned about Vulcan culture, all kinds of things, but I also learned what’s needed for a meld. Now obviously I could never meld with him, but you can. I can lead you through it. I think I can help.”
Finally T’Pol nodded. She would never tell another this, but she was afraid. She had no idea what this would mean, but she was willing to try. He may not listen to her, but she could not let him die. If she truly loved him, she could not let him fade away as the Captain assured her he would. Even so, the fear was still there and quite strong. “I will do it.”
Archer led her back to the body lying on the bio bed, Phlox at his side. The doctor looked up at her. “I will monitor you and Commander Tucker while you create the meld. If anything goes wrong I’ll try my best to help bring you out of it before there is any mental damage.”
T’Pol nodded at Doctor Phlox before turning to focus on the Commander. “What must I do?” she asked the Captain.
“Free your thoughts. Focus on Trip and my voice. Nothing else exists. There is only us, there is only you. Put your right hand on the contact points.”
T’Pol calmed her heart with effort, as it pounded in her chest like a hammer pounding around in her body. It was all she could do to calm down. She forgot about her duties, about the things waiting for her behind the sickbay doors. She ignored Doctor Phlox, erasing him from her mind. There was only Trip. There was only the voice of Captain Archer. Nothing else existed. Her eyes closed as she copied the actions Tolaris had taken to meld with her, her hands moving towards the different contact points. She could feel the surge at that moment go through her, just a small wave of contact between the Commander’s mind and hers. Darkness surrounded her.
“Do you remember what you must say T’Pol?”
T’Pol nodded, she remembered.
“Then say it. Keep it in your mind. Let the words guide you.”
“My mind to your mind. My thoughts to your thoughts. Our minds are merging. Our minds are becoming one.” She let the words guide her through the darkness. Showing her the way through.
“Now, I want you to imagine him in your mind. Reach out to him with your thoughts. All you need to do is touch him with your mind. The rest will come naturally,” Archer told her.
T’Pol complied, imagining him in her thoughts. Everything was made clear. His body stood before her. She could see his eyes, eyes of blue staring back into her brown eyes. “Trip,” she whispered and began to walk towards him. She focused on his eyes in the darkness surrounding the two. She could feel her body gravitate towards him.
She then imagined his smile as he looked back at her. His smile forced her body to shiver with feeling as her mind moved towards him. He seemed a mile away, but she would get to him. Her will to save him suppressed any doubts of fears now. Nothing else mattered, but the hope to see him smile again, to smile at her once again.
Then it happened.
A burst of light just as her hand touched his face. The power between the two bodies was like a wave crashing against her. It was far too powerful for her to handle. She had never felt this before. Its power overwhelmed her. “T’Pol,” came the voice she had been told not to ignore. “Give in,” was all that was said, and so she did. She gave in to the wave of light, keeping her hand against Trip’s face. Her eyes closed. She could feel his presence.
When she awoke she found herself on Enterprise. It was his quarters. Odd, why would she be here? T’Pol got out of bed, looking around the quarters she now found herself in. The gold diving helmet was the only thing she recognized, along with a picture she knew to be Elizabeth Tucker. She had to find Commander Tucker. This was not where she was supposed to be. With that she left the room and headed for her own, not quite knowing why. She only knew one thing. She could feel his presence, that’s where he wanted her to go.
Archer turned to look at Phlox. Phlox nodded. “She did it. She’s established the meld. Now it’s up to her to bring him back.”
Archer swallowed hard before backing away from the body standing so stiffly with one hand on Trip’s face. “Then I guess my part in this is over.” Archer took a deep breath, looking at T’Pol. “Good luck, T’Pol. Find him. Bring him home.”
T’Pol stood at the doors to her own quarters. Why was she so hesitant to go inside? Why was she so worried? She had to let go of her doubts. The Vulcan breathed in deeply and walked inside before she could do anything else. When the doors hissed open and closed she could feel a new atmosphere in the room, the faint sound of laughing. Someone was in the room, but the laughing was not Trip’s. Who could it be?
T’Pol opened her eyes to see a small boy who looked of the age of ten, perhaps older. His blue eyes sent a wave of understanding as she then noticed his light brown hair and pointed ears. “Lorian?” she questioned.
As soon as he turned to look at her he smiled. “Mother, you just missed father! I think he’s trying to run from you. You must go to him.”
“Why? Why is he running?” she asked. This young boy looked so much like her, though she could see Trip in him too. The image of him weakened her reserve.
Lorian frowned, putting down the padd in his hand. “He’s afraid. He doesn’t want you to hurt him. Please, go to him. He needs to know everything will be okay. You must go.”
Strange this world she now found herself in. Could Trip’s subconscious be telling her this because secretly Trip knew he wanted her to tell him these things? Could his fear simply be the one taking over his actions? Perhaps she was not so different. She too felt the fear coming from her own self. She was afraid to get close to him, and with good reason. Commander Tucker was a human; nothing about their relationship would be easy. Such was a fearful thought for an orderly Vulcan, even one so looked down upon in Vulcan culture because of past mistakes. She did not like the risks she would be taking with him, but she could now see that the consequences were far too dangerous. No matter how hard she fought she knew one day she would fight no longer. She loved him, it was as simple as that. When a Vulcan loves, not even Trip could believe the strength in that feeling. He would never know the things T’Pol was holding back, if only to keep control just a little while longer, but such was a useless endeavor if it meant she would lose the man she loved forever. “I don’t know if I can do this,” she admitted to the young boy.
Lorian stood with a gentle smile on his face before he hugged her. “It’s okay mother. Self doubt is normal when you’re in love.”
T’Pol didn’t want to agree. She knew nothing of true love. She had been fighting her feelings from the moment she first realized they were there. To let them free now would only hurt her even more than they already had. Right? They were weakening her, but could she stand living as she was now without Trip? It was a question she knew the answer to, but wasn’t quite sure she was ready to face. She needed to be sure.
“Just follow your heart,” the boy continued. “Father doesn’t want you to lose your Vulcan heritage anymore than you do, but with logic there must be more. He knows this as well. Go to him. See it for yourself.”
T’Pol was unsure of many things, but she was sure of one thing. This young boy, Lorian, was right. With that Lorian took a step back and waited. T’Pol touched the young boy’s face lightly before opening the door and walking through.
Vulcan? Why was she on Vulcan now? She had just been on Enterprise. Now his mind led her to Vulcan? She knew this place. It was the place she had told Trip she would marry another. It was the fire plains. “Trip!” she called, but she could not see him anywhere.
She knew that voice. She knew that voice well. T’Pol turned, trying to suppress her surprise at seeing her mother standing before her. Why was an image of her mother in Trip’s mind? She knew her mother had come to respect Trip… but was it true that Trip had also come to feel this way about her mother? Perhaps they had truly developed a friendship. She, after all, had been surprised at how highly her mother had spoken of Trip.
“You must be looking for Commander Tucker. He is not here.”
“Yes Mother, I know, but I must find him. Do you know where he could be?”
“I am not running from anything,” T’Pol told her firmly.
Her mother knew better. She took a step towards T’Pol, raising a hand to touch T’Pol’s face. “You are branded into his very soul, T’Pol. He cannot run from you. What he really needs to know is whether you can run from him.”
She did not understand. Why was her mother talking like this? What did she mean? Before T’Pol could ask, the image before her faded away into nothing and the cold hallway of Enterprise returned. There before her stood Captain Archer. T’Pol walked towards him. “Captain! He will not listen to me, just as I told you. I do not know what to do!”
The man before her stood coldly, his eyes hot with anger. “You don’t care about Trip.
“You are being illogical,” came another voice she knew to belong to Ambassador Soval. “Why do you do this to him? Why bring him closer only to hurt him even worse than before? It is not logical. It is not Vulcan.”
“I… I did not mean for this to happen. I have never felt this way before,” she tried to say.
“Felt?! Felt… T’Pol?! You do not feel anything. You are Vulcan. Your heart is cold.”
“No! That’s not true,” she fought. “I feel! I feel for him!”
“He doesn’t believe you.”
T’Pol turned to see another standing before her, Malcolm Reed. Reed smiled at her warmly. “Commander Tucker doesn’t believe that you feel anything for him. He’ll never believe you. You should leave. Let him go. He doesn’t want your help.”
“What about his family? Does he want THEM to let go too? They already lost a daughter, does he really want his parents to lose a son as well?”
“Don’t even pretend to care T’Pol!” Archer yelled.
That was it. With her emotions so strong, with her wall so weak, she could not do anything else. T’Pol’s control was gone just as her need to save him took over everything else. “I DO CARE! I LOVE HIM!”
The three standing before her turned to leave. Soval paused, looking back at her. “Do not tell us that, tell him.”
Before she could say anything back the world once again faded around her and she found herself in cargo bay one. The entire crew was gathered around a small tube… a casket. Commander Tucker stood before her smiling. “When I came to Sim’s funeral I wondered how mine would have been if it had been me instead of him. Too bad I won’t be able to hear the truth. It would be rather nice to see your own funeral, and know how your friends really felt about you. Don’t you think?” he asked her before walking to stand next to her.
“Trip, you must listen to me.”
Trip shook his head. “No T’Pol. Its time for YOU to listen this time.”
At that everyone but Trip, her, Archer, Reed, Soval, her mother, Hoshi, the Doctor, and
Mayweather left. They stood before her, with Trip still standing next to her. Her mother was the first to step forward, standing near the casket. “I knew him for only a short period of time, but it was enough.” T’Pol’s mother looked straight at her, their eyes caught together. “I told him it was okay. I was willing to give up what you were trying to give me because I could see how he felt about you. I was giving him the chance to stop your wedding to Koss, but he did not do it. He was willing to let you go, just to make things easier for you. He was willing to lose you, if only to make sure you would be happy. He wanted only to make things easier for you, even if that day he knew he could never be the same. A part of him died that day. I gave him the chance to avoid such pain, but instead he put your wishes ahead of his own, your wishes, T’Pol. He only cared about your wishes.”
Trip moved his hand to her shoulder and in that moment she could see their conversation. She could see everything. The way he felt. What they talked about. Everything. She could see through his eyes, feel into his soul. Her eyes closed as she felt the full weight of what he’d felt at that moment, the sorrow, the pain, the fear and the longing all being suppressed by one other feeling… love. Enough love to put him through all that if only to make things easier for her. Finally she felt pulled back into the present as the breath of Trip touched her ears. “Now you know,” he whispered.
Next was Malcolm to walk up as her mother left. He looked at T’Pol. “When we were stuck in the shuttle pod, believing we would die, I talked about you. I mentioned your name. Trip denied you, said that because you were Vulcan, there could never be any interest. He denied you again when I teased him about you. I could see right through him and he knew it. I could see into his very soul and there of all people you stood. You were in his heart. Neuropressure allowed you two to finally get close. What you didn’t know was Trip had wanted to be close to you long before that. The connection was there from the day he met you. There was no chance then, until you began neuropressure with him, till you kissed him, till you two made love.”
Again T’Pol could feel and see the memories take over her. The coldness of the shuttle was there. The anger Trip felt as Malcolm teased him was there. She could see everything. His memories rushed into her mind, became a part of her. Never in her life had she felt such emotion. The love was there and so was the fear. It was all there.
Again she was brought back into the present, feeling the hand on her shoulder. “I was afraid to see it then,” he admitted to her. “Too afraid that you wouldn’t feel the same way. It was the neuropressure that made me see. It was you that made me see. I loved you long before that happened. I think I loved you from the moment we first met.
T’Pol was about to speak, but Trip shook his head.
“No. It’s still my turn to talk.”
She stayed quiet just as Captain Archer walked up. “I’ve known Trip for many years.
T’Pol sucked in a breath as the sorrow hit her violently. She saw the picture of Trip in his quarters lying on the bed with tears falling down his face. She shared that moment in time. She shared his pain at being shunned for the last time. He had been finished. He couldn’t do anymore. She watched him brush the tears away and stand before sitting in front of his console and writing the letter to be transferred.
The hand on her shoulder brought her back for the third time and she could hear Trip speak. “I loved you and you didn’t care T’Pol. You were so tied up in what you were doing that you forgot how what you were doing would make me feel. I needed to leave. I needed to run from you. I’m still running from you at this very moment. I just thought you should see what you’ve done.”
The world around her, the present she was now in faded, and left in the darkness before her was only herself and Trip, alone. He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. “You should go, T’Pol. You don’t belong here.”
“I came here to help,” T’Pol told him.
“I don’t want your help. I want you to leave me be. Just go, T’Pol. How can I trust you again with my heart? I don’t even have it anymore. You destroyed it long ago.”
T’Pol walked closer to him, but he took a step back. “Trip, please. Do you not feel me inside you now?”
“I know what you did, T’Pol. I can feel you. From the moment you melded with me I could feel you.”
“Then you know I love you as well, Trip. That it is simply hard to deal with these emotions.”
Trip smiled. “Yeah, T’Pol. I know. I can feel it. I’m just tired. I know how you feel, but I also see you’re fear. Your not ready for a relationship, you may never be ready.”
“I am ready! I simply did not know what to do at the time. Now that I see who you are inside… I can see that my fear for us was misplaced.”
Trip took a step closer to her. “Okay, T’Pol. Then I’m gonna ask you a simple question. If you answer honestly, then it will determine whether I leave with you or not.”
“I am ready.”
The engineer hesitated for only a second before closing his eyes. “Do you think it’ll work out? Between you and I?”
T’Pol was surprised at his question. She never would have expected that, of all things, from him. He had always told her that he believed that as long as there was love that was all that mattered. So why was he asking her this question?
“T’Pol, just tell me what you think. You know I love you more than anything in this world. The question is how much do you love me? Do you think our relationship would work out? Do you see a happy ending? Do you see a little Lorian with pointy ears? If I woke up right now and we were together what do you see happening between us? Where do you think we’ll end up?”
“I don’t know,” she answered truthfully.
Trip nodded. “Exactly. You don’t know. You don’t know if you’re even ready. You think you are, but are you? What if the whole world was against us? What if the Vulcans would always shun you because of me? What if my parents hated you? What if everyone on Earth hated our relationship? What if we forget that we love each other and soon found ourselves only seeing the hate and disapproval in people’s eyes? What then?”
“No one else matters.” She knew it was illogical, what she was saying. That didn’t matter now. Only one thing mattered, she had to bring him back. She had to bring him back.
Trip closed his eyes and sighed. “I’ll go back with you, but that’s where it ends. I can’t take a chance on you. My heart’s too fragile to get hurt once again. I couldn’t take losing you. Not again.”
T’Pol’s eyes closed as she tried desperately to suppress the pain. She’d lost him, even if she’d saved his life. It was her fault he could no longer trust her. It was her fault that she’d lost a relationship with the only man she ever loved. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything.”
“I know you are, T’Pol. I’m sorry too. I wish I could take the chance. I wish I could take this leap of faith, but I can’t. I’m so sorry, but I can’t leap this time.”
When the darkness was gone and T’Pol’s eyes opened, though she was relived that she had saved Trip, she knew she’d lost so much. Perhaps this was what it felt like to have a broken heart. Now she knew what it felt like, it felt like dying.
Trip frowned when his eyes opened to see Phlox and Captain Archer with smiles on their faces. He tried to see T’Pol, but she must have backed away. “Trip!” he heard Archer say.
He wasn’t listening. He wanted to see T’Pol. When he moved to get up he felt an awful pain in his chest. At first he thought it was the pain he’d felt ever since T’Pol told him she didn’t want to be with him. It wasn’t that. It was coming from her, but how?
Days after the meld Trip and T’Pol had still been avoiding talking to one another. They barely said five words to one another unless it was work related. Trip played with his food. Even though he was out of sickbay he still wasn’t back to his regular duty shifts. The doctor had wanted him to take it easy. The Commander was itching badly to get back to full duty.
Though he was fully healed (physically anyway) the doctor hadn’t wanted to take too many chances. Mentally though, it was a whole other story! His dreams had been filled with pictures of him and T’Pol naked under the sheets making love. In any other situation Trip would wish he could sleep all day! These were not normal circumstances though, because every night that the dream came to him he was more and more uneasy. Just looking at T’Pol made him so uncomfortable that he wanted nothing more than to run out of the room as fast as he could! He’d love nothing more than to run away from T’Pol, because the more he was around her the more his heart ached.
T’Pol would never understand how hard it was for him. He loved her so badly. He wanted to be with her with all his heart, but the fact of the matter was it was too dangerous. She was too dangerous. Soon, though, he would never have to deal with being in the same room as her again. That was what kept him going, the fact that soon he’d be off of Enterprise and away from T’Pol. Sure he’d miss his friends, but not leaving would be more harmful for him. He wouldn’t be able to take it much longer; it was why he’d asked for reassignment in the first place. Now it was even worse, because she knew how he felt and he knew how she felt. He could never endure such torture for long.
“Hello, Commander,” greeted a certain MACO he knew well.
Trip smiled as Amanda Cole took a seat across from him. “You’re in a good mood,” he noticed.
Amanda lifted her eyebrows, still smiling. “Guess I’ve just been having a good morning!
Trip closed his eyes, trying to keep a smile. “I’m just tired.”
Amanda rolled her eyes. “Of course that’s it! It couldn’t have anything to do with the fact that you’ve been pushing everyone away, including a certain science officer, since you were sick! It must just be because you’re tired!”
Trip glared at his companion. “Hey! Stay outta my mind!” He’d meant it as a joke, but couldn’t help frowning at the thought of T’Pol, who had once been in his mind. It was a thing he’d been trying to forget, but he doubted he’d ever be able to do that.
“You know Trip, I really think you’re are one big idiot for how you’ve treated the
Trip knew Amanda hadn’t been too affected when he’d told her that nothing would happen between the two. He’d actually been rather surprised at her reaction. He could see she was disappointed, but she’d readily accepted it and understood that his heart belonged to another, woman. Ironic that he’d ended one relationship to pursue another only to end up alone. “I haven’t done anythin’ to T’Pol, Amanda.”
“Then you should be using your break to make mad passionate love with her,” she fought with a smirk on her face, even though he could see she was VERY serious.
Trip sighed. “It’s complicated.”
“How exactly is it complicated?” she pressured.
The Commander shook his head. “It just is! Dammit Amanda, don’t you think if I could I would be with T’Pol? I love her so much it hurts! No one will ever understand how hard it is to even be around her and not be able to do somethin’. It’s killin’ me!”
Amanda looked down at her food. “Yeah, I heard about your request for reassignment to the Columbia.”
“Cap’n says he sent it to Admiral Forrest, and the Cap’n of the Columbia is more than willin’ to have me as Chief engineer and first officer. Says it should be smooth sailin’, but I won’t be leavin’ for at least a week or so. In the meantime I’ve been training Lieutenant Hess to take command.”
“I’m surprised the entire crew hasn’t tried to persuade you from doing this.”
“Actually they have,” Tucker mumbled, before finally taking a bite of his food. “Malcolm gave me a three hour lecture all about why I should stay here on Enterprise. The rest decided they’d visit me in sickbay to try and persuade me. The only way my ears haven’t fallen off is because after a while the Doc would kick em out so I could rest and get my strength back.”
“Well I don’t blame them. Losing you is going to be very hard for this crew. Most of us look up to you for direction. When we were in the expanse it was you keeping this crew together, despite everything you were going through yourself. We all could see how much you cared about the crew. You gave up yourself to help. The captain had distanced himself from the crew, and obviously T’Pol hadn’t been ready to help with the crew’s emotional needs. So the job was left in your hands. Without you this crew would have never been able to continue on under those conditions. I never would have been able to continue on.”
Trip watched as Amanda glanced up at him before looking back down at her food. He couldn’t help but smile at her warmly. “I’ll miss this place. I’ll truly miss seein’ all my friends, workin’ on my engines… all that, but if I stay here I just don’t think I’ll be able to deal. You’ll never understand how hard it’s been for me, Amanda. In the expanse I was so focused on work and helping others that I forgot I was human too. Then afterwards I realized I couldn’t just go back to normal. Frankly, I don’t even know what normal is anymore. I need a change. I need to get away.”
“Running away from T’Pol won’t help you feel normal again, Trip,” Amanda assured him.
Tucker nodded, annoyed at how well Amanda knew him. It was true that running wouldn’t help him feel normal, but perhaps it would help him move on. “I know Amanda. I know.”
“Then what the hell are you doing?” she finally asked him. It was the question he’d been waiting for.
“I’m tryin’ to deal the best way I know how. I’m tryin’ to make things easier for myself. I’m tryin’ to stop wakin’ up at night with nightmares. All I want is a solution.”
Amanda seemed to accept this before taking a bite of her sandwich. “If all you want is a solution then Trip… you should know your solution, is staring right at you.”
At first Trip had thought she was talking about herself, until of course he looked up to see at the door T’Pol staring over at him. He looked up to see T’Pol at the door, staring over at him. He wanted so much to be with her, but that just wasn’t possible. “T’Pol isn’t a solution to my problems.”
Amanda shook her head and grabbed her tray of food, ready to leave. “No she isn’t, but she is the solution to one of your problems, the worst one. You can continue to deny the truth in my statement, but in the end when you find yourself alone and on your own then maybe you’ll realize what I’m trying to say.” With that she stood and winked at him before leaving him alone once again. Trip rubbed his forehead, trying to ignore the pain in his head. Perhaps Amanda was right, but either way, he wasn’t ready to accept that. The fear inside him was far too strong. Trip gathered his food on the tray and stood, disposing of it all before walking past T’Pol and out of the mess hall.
Trip must have been staring at the damn picture for an hour, but no matter how hard he tried he just couldn’t drop it down into his bag. It was a picture of Captain Archer, himself, and T’Pol, standing on a new planet similar to Earth. It had been taken by Travis almost a year and a half ago, right before the Xindi attacked Earth, and he had to chuckle at the picture with his arm swung around T’Pol. He’d done it to annoy her of course, and what had surprised him so much was she didn’t move away. Even the Captain had noticed the change.
It was one of his favorite pictures. It was also the first time he realized how different his relationship with T’Pol was compared to the other women on Enterprise. They had a special relationship. A relationship he would sorely miss. Finally, with a shaky hand he dropped the picture frame in his bag, still staring at it with the small smirk on his face. He wouldn’t just miss Enterprise, he would miss all the memories he’d be missing out on with his friends by leaving.
He’d miss joking with Malcolm about the stick up his ass. He’d also miss offering to take the stick out. Trip chuckled, shaking his head. He’d miss teasing T’Pol just so he could see that cute delicate little eyebrow rise. He’d miss dinner with the Captain, and late nights sitting in the mess hall with a bottle of whiskey and two shot glasses. He’d miss hanging out with Travis in the sweet spot he’d learned to like very much. He’d miss talking to sweet Hoshi whenever he needed to talk about something other than his problems. He’d miss the wonderful advice Doctor Phlox would give him, but most of all though, he’d miss the atmosphere. He’d miss all the crew together as a whole, because together they’d done so much, experienced so much. They were like his family, all of them. They themselves were his home. Where they were, that’s where home was to him. Now things would be different.
Trip closed his eyes and zipped up the bag before taking the strap and swinging the bag over his shoulder. That was it. That was the end of his life on Enterprise. That was the end of everything, and though he looked forward to the future, he would miss his past with a passion no one could ever understand. He didn’t just love Enterprise. He didn’t just love ‘his engines’ as many had come to call them. What he would miss were the people he might never see again. His friendships with them weren’t over, but as he stood in front of his door it felt like it was the end.
Tucker sucked in a breath before taking a step out of the quarters that would not be his ever again, and headed for the place he wanted to be most of all so he could say his goodbyes. The Columbia was flying next to Enterprise. Forrest had accepted the reassignment. Trip would be leaving Enterprise.
He knew it was pretty late, though actually he guessed it was morning by now, but the emptiness in the room still surprised him. Lieutenant Lisa Meyers walked over to him with a smile on her lovely face. He’d miss that face. “Lisa, where is everybody?”
Lisa sighed. “Fixing things,” she told him with a laugh. “And I just found out one of the turbolifts isn’t working. Mind staying here while I handle it?”
“I could do it,” he offered.
Lisa grinned. “That would be wonderful! But in a while you’ll be on the Columbia. I think we Enterprise crewmates should take care of this one ourselves. I was going to call someone to stay here, but this way I don’t have to… if that’s okay with you?”
“I thought you wanted to learn how to make it without me,” he teased.
Lisa laughed once again. “When a person gets off an addiction they normally go off slowly.”
“You callin’ me an addiction?” he questioned.
Meyers rolled her gray eyes. “Well, some women might call you that. Just stay here sir,
Tucker chuckled as Lisa Meyers left with a toolbox to work on the turbolift that was broken. Once she was gone he then realized he was alone and sighed, staring up at ‘his engine.’ “I’m gonna miss you,” he whispered.
Trip turned around and frowned when he saw T’Pol standing there. “Oh T’Pol… hey. I was just talkin’ to my engines.”
“I can see that,” she muttered, as she took a few steps over to him.
Never in his life did he feel this uncomfortable. He still had the duffle bag over his shoulder; once he realized this he let it fall to the floor and tried to smile. “In an hour I’ll be leavin’, so I thought I’d just say goodbye now. The engine room was last on my list, of course not least!”
“I’m guessing my quarters weren’t on your list.”
Trip shifted uncomfortably, his eyes shifting as he tried not to look into her eyes. “I hate long goodbyes. Besides, all the things on my list didn’t have the ability to fight my decision to leave. I mean, your quarters wouldn’t do that, but you would. You’re probably the only person on this ship that could stop me from leavin’. So I guess you can see why I had to stay away.”
T’Pol moved her hand to his face, forcing him to look at her. “I understand. I will not try to talk you out of something that is done. I merely wished to say goodbye.” With that T’Pol leaned in and kissed him lightly.
Trip’s eyes widened at the contact, but he wasn’t about to fight it. When they broke,
When T’Pol was about to speak he leaned in and kissed her back, making it deeper this time. T’Pol wrapped her arms around him as his gravitated to her waist. He could feel his body pressed up against hers and suddenly he didn’t care whether he was leaving. He loved her so much. They deserved this one last chance. They would never have it again. He knew that he couldn’t take a chance on her, but it felt good to be with her in that moment. He loved her. She loved him. Their love may not have been meant to be, but it was real and it was damn wonderful while it lasted. When they broke Trip rested his forehead against hers, as his right hand took a place on her cheek. Their eyes met. “It will not be the same here without your presence.”
“I’ll miss you too, T’Pol. I’ll miss you too.”
They stood like that for nearly a half an hour before finally Meyers came back angrily. When she’d seen them just before they took steps away, though, she smiled. Raising both eyebrows, Lisa walked over to the two. “Enterprise won’t be the same without you, sir. Engineering won’t be the same without you.”
Trip dropped a hand on her shoulder and nodded. “Good luck to you guys.”
“Ditto,” she told him.
It took a moment for Trip to let go of her and turn back to T’Pol. Their eyes met once again, and after a silent acknowledgement he knew she really did love him. Finally he moved past the two women and left engineering, trying to hold back tears. No one would know how hard this was on him. He was leaving his family. He was leaving his home. He was leaving T’Pol.
==Five Days Later==
Trip’s headache had gotten worse in the days while on the Columbia, but today had been the worst yet. He could barely think with its throbbing pain undermining his control. His entire body seemed affected by the pain and it was hard just to move. It was as if an important piece of him had been ripped away. It felt like a vital piece of him was gone, and no matter what he did he couldn’t get it back. He couldn’t handle the pain. It was so hard to deal. He was suffering, and no matter how hard he tried he now knew he needed a doctor. There was nothing else to do.
The Commander smiled despite the pain at the woman in sickbay focused on her console. “Mind tearin’ your mind away from that, Maddie?”
Madeline Harris jumped and turned to look at the first officer of the Columbia. “Trip! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?!”
Tucker grinned, trying to ignore the pain. “Never, there’s only one doctor! And I sure as hell wouldn’t know what to do if ya did!”
Maddie shook her head. “Take a seat.” Trip obeyed and walked over to the bio bed to sit while the Doctor collected her tricorder. “Now what may I do for you today, Trip?”
“I got a serious migraine, Doc. Been bugging’ me since I left Enterprise. But since the Columbia left it’s been even worse. I don’t think I could stand much more.”
The Doctor scanned him, frowning as she looked at the readings coming in on her medical tricorder. “This can’t be right.”
“What can’t be right?” Trip felt another burst of pain and winced. What the hell was that?!
The Doctor stepped away from him and over to the com. “Harris to the Captain Hernandez.”
“Yes, Doctor,” came in a feminine voice.
“I think we should find Enterprise.”
“Enterprise? Why? What’s the problem?”
“One of our crewmembers lives may be at risk if we don’t return to Enterprise. Its Commander Tucker, ma’am.”
There was a slight pause before finally the Captain spoke. “All right Doctor. I’ll have Lieutenant Hendricks locate and set a course back to Enterprise. Should I warn them there’s a problem?”
“I would. Tell them the Commander is having some mental complications. They’ll understand what’s happening.”
“Okay, Harris. Done.”
“Thank you Captain, Harris out.”
Maddie turned back to look at Trip. Tucker folded his arms. “Mental complications?” he questioned.
Maddie nodded. “Before we took you on Commander, Doctor Phlox had a long talk about your records. He also told me in great detail about your experience with the meld. The Doctor told me the basics of what a meld is. He also gave me some information on the Vulcan bond, all information he acquired from your Commander T’Pol and Captain Archer.”
Trip lowered his head in confusion. “Bond?”
“When a Vulcan bonds with another a mental connection is created between the two participants. In most cases, when two Vulcans meld it doesn’t create a bond, but with a Vulcan who’s never done such before it’s far more complicated. Someone who doesn’t know what they’re doing could create a lot of damage, or they could accidentally do something like creating this bond.”
Trip’s eyes widened. Now he understood. “T’Pol. Dammit! She melded with me.”
Maddie sat down next to him and put a hand on his shoulder. “The pain you’ve been experiencing can sometimes happen when two people bond and separate from each other. If they go too far the pain comes because the bond has weakened. Being so far apart is very dangerous.”
“But Vulcans do it all the time!” Trip fought in frustration.
“Vulcans deal with pain far better than humans. Their pain tolerance is nearly ten times what ours is. To them it isn’t dangerous because to them their body is able to deal. Not just the pain either. Their mind capabilities are also a factor.”
“So in other words, they can bond because they have what it takes, and I don’t.”
Maddie shook her head. “Not exactly. You see, the pain only happens when the mates are too far away from each other. What you’re feeling, it’s like losing a limb.”
Trip ran a hand through his hair and sighed in annoyance. “So how do we get rid of this bond?”
“Only the Vulcans can answer that. There’s still so little we know about them. What I can tell you though, is you can’t stay on the Columbia until all this is dealt with. It could kill you.”
Tucker looked up and over at Maddie, eyebrows raised. “Figures. I come here to get away from her and she drags me right back in. Thanks Doc, though I think I’d rather face death than her.”
Maddie laughed. “Well you know, a Vulcan can only create a bond when both participants have intense affection for one another. This may have seemed like an accident, but the fact of the matter is it’s only through your feelings that the bond could have been made between the two of you. Why do you think Vulcans must stay a year together? Affection must be had for two mates to bond.”
Trip looked down at the floor and smiled. “Her feelings were never the issue, Doc. Her fear was the issue. In that bond I could feel her fear. It was so strong I couldn’t even begin to deal with it. She’s afraid of a relationship with me. It’s why things kept goin’ wrong. The fact of the matter is she’d keep pushin’ me away despite her feelings. She’ll never be ready to be with me.”
“Shouldn’t that be her decision?” Trip looked up at her and tilted his head. He didn’t have an answer for that one. Maddie patted his back then he jumped off the bio bed, smiling at him warmly. “A little piece of womanly advice, Trip. Women get afraid of getting hurt just as much as men. Maybe she’s not just afraid of a relationship with you. She might just be afraid that you’ll do just exactly what you just did…” she told him.
“And what’s that?”
Maddie cocked her head. “You left her.”
“Archer to T’Pol.”
T’Pol’s eyes slowly opened and focused on the candle before her just before getting up and walking to the com unit. “T’Pol here,” she answered.
“Commander Tucker’s shuttle is docking in our launch bay now. The Doctor and I are heading down there now. We’ll meet you there.”
“Of course, Captain,” was her reply before she got into her uniform. The first officer looked in the mirror and frowned. Enterprise had been heading for Earth when they got the call that Commander Tucker was suffering from a mental complication she knew to have to do with the bond. Phlox had prepared for taking care of Trip’s headaches while Mayweather began to plot a course towards Vulcan.
T’Pol too had gotten the headaches, though they had not nearly been as harmful. The headaches had simply become an irritation she had learned to deal with. It had been uncomfortable for her to think about the bond between her and Commander Tucker. Such a bond was impossible without intense feelings on both sides. Intense feelings. She found it quite displeasing as well that she would soon be seeing the Commander once again. After their last meeting, though they had left on good terms, it had been painful to watch him leave. It had brought about many emotions she had not been ready for. She had lost someone she was… in love with, and for a Vulcan such emotions were very overpowering.
T’Pol walked down corridor after corridor till she reached the turbolift and finally the launch bay. There as she walked in she could see the shuttle and Captain Archer, as well as the Doctor. The shuttle door opened as T’Pol joined the two waiting to see Trip. The first to exit was the Columbia’s Doctor, then the Captain, and finally Commander Tucker.
“Trip!” exclaimed the Captain, and he quickly moved over to hug his long time friend.
“Hey Cap’n! I know it’s only been about a week, but it seems like it’s been months!”
“I know what you mean! Hey, why don’t we get you to sickbay? We should have the doctor look at you.”
Trip nodded, rubbing the back of his head. “I think that’d be a good idea. The headache might be gettin’ better, but it’s still drivin’ me insane!”
Archer nodded, swinging an arm around his friend as they walked towards sickbay.
When the Captain saw no one else was joining them he turned to look at the others. “You guys coming?”
The Columbia’s Captain, the two Doctors, and T’Pol walked behind Trip and Archer as they left the launch bay. T’Pol breathed in deeply. She could feel the pain in her chest grow and water collected under her eyelids. Trip hadn’t even wanted to look at her. They may have ended on good terms, but the pain he felt still ran deep, perhaps too deep.
Since Enterprise had no chief engineer, Trip Tucker’s quarters had remained empty. The acting chief engineer Lieutenant Hess had decided to stay in her own quarters, though the Captain hadn’t been able to tell him what that had really been about. His quarters were, after all, much larger, yet Hess chose not to move in. Upon leaving sickbay Trip had gone straight to those quarters. He couldn’t say why he wanted to go there so badly; perhaps he would never understand his attachment to a room he’d only lived in for the years he’d been on Enterprise. Perhaps seeing them would assure him that he was home. That he was back where he belonged, even if it was for only a short time, until the bond between him and T’Pol was broken. Still, as soon as he reached the room his world came crashing down, the room right along with it, at the sight of T’Pol standing by the window looking out at stars. “T’Pol?” His voice betrayed his surprise. Could she really have missed him enough to want to stand in his quarters?
T’Pol turned, and he could see she was distraught. “Commander. I’m sure you wish to be alone. I should go.”
T’Pol began to walk over to him, attempting to go past, but he stood in her way. “Ya certainly left sickbay fast once you knew everythin’ was gonna be fine. I must say I’m surprised to find ya here.”
She wouldn’t even look him in the eye. Not that he blamed her. It was hard to look at her without feeling his knees wobble slightly. She always did that to him. “I should return to my quarters.” She again tried to leave, but he wouldn’t allow it. After blocking her he began to walk ahead, forcing her to move back.
“You know, I still find it odd that you would slip up when ya melded with me. I mean, I know it was your first time, but even then you always seem to have everythin’ under control. Both Doctor Phlox and Doctor Harris agree that it was unusual for the bond to be so strong because of the meld, unless sometime before that moment a bond had already begun to be created between us. Think you know what that could be about, T’Pol?”
T’Pol still resisted the urge to look into his eyes. “I have no idea what you are talking about.”
“Doctor Phlox said you told him that a bond could only be created when there is physical and mental connection between two mates. He said it was near to impossible to make a bond accidentally through a meld. Of course he didn’t want to say this in front of everybody, but just as soon as he had me alone he told me all about the things you were tellin’ him. He told me the only reason he was even telling me this was because you’d given him the consent to do so. Why did ya want me to know about all that? Are ya sayin’ we bonded way before the meld when you and I were… intimate?”
T’Pol’s breathing was ragged as she backed away from him to the other side of the wall. “Technically we did not bond since there was no mental connection. The bonding did happen during the meld. I believe it may have activated itself after the… changes we made when we were intimate.”
“So you’re sayin’, in effect, though this was an accident, it wasn’t all an accident?”
“That is correct.”
Trip paused, taking in what she was saying. “So in a way we did bond that night, though in actuality it wasn’t the same thing till we melded. Is that why it was so strong?”
T’Pol seemed to take minutes before answering. “Yes,” she practically whispered.
The Commander smiled. “The Doc said you knew about this thing before I left. Why didn’t ya tell me what was goin’ on?”
“I thought it would dissipate.”
“But it didn’t.”
T’Pol shook her head. “You do not understand what it is like.”
Trip walked closer to her. “Yeah, I think I do.”
“No! You don’t, you think you do, but you could never understand. I knew the night I was with you what might happen. I let my emotions take over. A bond was created that night,” she told him.
Finally Trip understood. “Of course. That’s why you pushed me away. You knew that bein’ with me would only strengthen the bond. You wanted it to dissipate on its own… and it did. No wonder I felt so calm after what happened,” he muttered.
“I believed that the same would happen again when the bond was triggered, but it did not. When you pushed me away I did not know what to do. This is my fault. This is all my doing.”
Trip shook his head, grabbing her shoulders. “No, T’Pol, don’t’ say that!” Trip paused.
“It may be that this was partly you, but it’s not your fault.” Trip situated his fingers under her chin and raised her head so she would look at him. “That night I wanted to be with you just as much as you wanted to be with me. I don’t regret anythin’.”
“Even now, with this bond between us?” she asked in surprise.
Trip nodded then let out a sigh, realizing that it was time he told her the truth. “T’Pol, do you know the reason why I left you?”
“You did not think I was ready to be with you. You found it too hard to be around me with everything that had happened, so you chose to join the Columbia.”
“No, T’Pol, that’s not exactly the entire reason. Remember that night you told me your age?”
Tucker smiled. “That was one of the best things I ever heard you say.”
T’Pol cocked her head in confusion.
The Commander knew he would have to explain. “I finally knew somethin’ about you! The day you offered to take me home to Vulcan I was shocked I hadn’t passed out with excitement! You just don’t get it, do you?!”
Trip knew at this moment he had to tell her everything. He had to show her that he still loved her. The Commander gathered her into his arms and kissed her gently, not caring how she would react. “You mean the world to me woman! All I wanted was to know ya! All I wanted was to see what’s behind those eyes, those lips, that beautiful face I see every day. I didn’t think WE were ready, T’Pol. We weren’t ready to be together with all the secrets about our lives that we kept hidden. I tried to tell you things about me, but you didn’t do the same. I never cared about looks with you T’Pol, all I wanted was to see the inside.”
T’Pol’s forehead rested on his. “You wished to understand me.”
“Exactly! That’s all I wanted! I got close a few times, but I could never reach your heart. You kept pushin’ me away. You just couldn’t let me see what’s inside. I knew you were scared. I could see in your eyes that ya didn’t want me to see who you truly were because you thought I might not like what I see.”
She tried to sort out the internal struggle within her, but it was no use. The war had to be won before she would know what to do. T’Pol’s eyes looked deep into the man holding her, and in that moment she could see him on the inside. He had always let her in. He had always let her see what was inside. “It is hard to be so open when you don’t like what you see. If I don’t like what I see, then how could you see something you like?”
Trip raised a hand to her cheek and stroked it lightly. “T’Pol, don’t you think you should at least give me the chance? Maybe you’ll see that we’re toughest with ourselves. The awful things you see may not be as bad as they seem.”
T’Pol shook her head lightly. “How can you know? How can you know you will like what you see?”
“Because, T’Pol,” Trip began, and smiled warmly at her. “Love is and always will be… blind.” With that he chuckled lightly when her eyebrow rose. “I could see you at your worst moment and still feel the same way I do now, because the fact is I know enough about you to know you’re a good person with a great heart. I know that much.”
T’Pol leaned in and kissed him passionately.
When they parted he moved his other arm to caress her back. “I think we have a lot to talk about, T’Pol.”
Trip sat still wide-eyed as T’Pol lay in his arms on the bed. Her head rested on his shoulder as her left arm supported her so she’d stay up. Never in his life would he have believed what she had told him. Mainly because he hadn’t believed she was capable of half of it… and the other half… well, he didn’t even want to THINK about that! Dreams of him being choked to death by T’Pol after a huge make-out session, I mean the first part was nice, but he didn’t quite like the last part.
Then there were those nights when she was putting Trellium-D in her blood stream just to feel emotions. There was so much she hadn’t told him, but had wanted to. And the talk T’Pol had with her future self on the other Enterprise captained by Lorian. T’Pol had been told of how much they had loved each other. The older T’Pol hadn’t even been able to imagine a life without the guy, well, him. She’d told him about her feelings when she had been forced to marry Koss, and the shame she’d felt for putting her mother through such hell just because of a daughter’s mistake.
The Commander smiled. T’Pol was one hell of a woman. He’d told her just that after she’d told him everything. He’d respected her for having the guts to tell him what she felt. He could feel the bond growing. He could just feel it. He could hear her thoughts in his mind. She was so content. Now he understood. He understood her, why she’d done what she did, the pain she’d been going through, and the heartache she’d felt. She told him all about Tolaris, Yuris, and her experiences with the drugging Silik put her through. She’d even told him of that dream she’d had of Tolaris. To say that it had taken everything he had not to throw up was an understatement!
He couldn’t even begin to describe how high his heart had jumped when she told him about why she’d given him the brush off, and how she hadn’t believed she could do it when around him she’d felt such intense emotions. She’d told him how every day had been a battle to deal with the emotions she’d let out because of the Trellium. T’Pol had made him understand why it had been so important to her. She’d acted so stupidly by using the Trellium, and she knew she had to make some decisions and change where she was heading. She had felt it would be better to do it without his help, since he’d been part of the problem! Her fear to let him in had been based on fear that he would see her as weak because of all of her mistakes. She’d been so angry with herself for what happened, she’d been punishing herself for all she’d done. That was what she hadn’t wanted him to see.
‘Now you know,’ she’d whispered to him. Yeah, now he did know, and his love for her had grown twice as big. Trip squeezed her tightly and kissed her forehead gently. He didn’t just love her. He was truly, completely, overwhelmingly in love with this woman, far beyond anything his dreams could ever have made up.
T’Pol moaned against him before looking up to look into his eyes. The passion he’d seen there had been breathtaking. “I love you.”
That was all she’d needed to hear.
She leapt for him like a lion on the prowl, and he hadn’t cared one bit. She tore into him, devoured his mouth and buried herself into his very soul. He laid her down under him and moved a hand down her body. Together in unison they divested each other of any clothing, and wrapped their arms around each other as Trip entered her body slowly.
T’Pol gasped and arched her back as mind and body joined as one. They could feel their minds twist together into something stronger, better.
He pulled out and back in, pleasuring her over and over again, bringing both closer to climax, and when it finally happened T’Pol wrapped her legs around him, crying out things Trip hadn’t been sure Vulcans would even say! Perhaps they weren’t, but either way they were being said by her and it had turned him on even more. They laid there on the bed, arms wrapped around each other in complete peace. Finally, Trip smiled and rested his chin on her shoulder. “I don’t want to get rid of this bond.”
“Trip, that is not a good idea. The doctors both agree that if you leave here to the Columbia without severing the meld you may die.”
Still, Tucker shook his head. “Then I’ll just have to stay here.”
“Where else, T’Pol?! Yes, on Enterprise,” he told her gently.
“You have been reassigned,” she fought.
Trip used his other hand to stroke her face lovingly. “Don’t worry about that. I’m sure Admiral Forrest will understand. Just leave that to me.”
T’Pol paused before nodding. “I love you.”
“I love you too, T’Pol.”
There was a long pause before she spoke. “I believe we will make it. I know we will make it.”
Trip grinned. “That’s all I needed to hear.” And with that he kissed her once again.
==One Year Later==
Archer raised his glass, grinning to no end. “To the bride and groom!”
“To the bride and groom!” shouted the crowd of people, with Trip and T’Pol sitting in the front of the room. T’Pol wore a beautiful purple dress and veil. Her hair was longer than before and she looked completely amazing. Trip was wearing a Vulcan robe that was white and tan. They both looked beautiful. As best man Malcolm Reed stood by Hoshi, the maid of honor, talking. With Trip and T’Pol married, Jon was sure Malcolm and
Archer had been the one to marry the two, and it had been a pleasure he would never forget. They’d stayed together through it all, and the Captain was proud of those two for standing together. He wasn’t sure what had happened, but somewhere in the past T’Pol had fallen in love and allowed herself to trust. He was proud, proud of both of them. It was then that attention was drawn to Trip as he lightly banged his fork against his glass. He stood and everyone turned to look at him.
Trip took in a deep shaky breath. “First of all, I’d just like to thank everyone today for all their support and love. This crew has been like a family to all of us, our own little family unit, and we’ve done damn well together.” Crew members clapped and shouted in agreement as Trip paused. “All of you are people I respect and will never forget for as long as I live. Though T’Pol and I will be leaving this will never stop bein’ our home, the place where we belong.” Then Trip made eye contact with T’Pol and smiled at her warmly. “A year ago today I was a Columbia crewman, their chief engineer. Yet I couldn’t stay on that ship, not when there before me stood T’Pol, finally doing everythin’
Archer grinned at his former officers and nodded. They truly were meant for each other. There was no way around it. Those two had belonged to each other, even before there WAS an each other. That was simply the way it was. It was destiny, their destiny. With that the Captain clapped. Never in his life had he seen Trip so sure of something. That said a lot. Trip was beyond in love. T’Pol had his very soul, a hell of a thing if ever one tried to take theirs back. Not that they would. Jonathan knew in his heart their relationship would be stuff of legend. He knew they would make it. He just knew.
To the surprise of the crew T’Pol stood, banging her glass just as Trip had. “I too wish to make a toast,” she told the crowd, before looking at her husband. The crew watched in silence as she spoke. It was rare that she ever spoke from her heart. “Trip, from the moment I first met you I knew you were different. You were the only one I have ever met that could make me feel. For that I will care… I will love you forever,” she told him. While the crew drank, amazed at the heartfelt toast, Trip grabbed his wife for a long kiss. He poured all his love into her as they kissed.
Trip grinned at the woman before him. It had taken a lot before they could truly get to this point, but it all had been worth it, and he’d go through it again and again if only to get to this point. Perhaps it was a mistake to marry her, to take a chance, a leap of faith, but it was a mistake he wanted more than anything. He wanted to be with her, and the fact of the matter was no matter how long he ran he would never escape her. She was in his very soul.
A/N: Okay I know this isn’t exactly how it will go I’m sure, but whatever! It’s fan fiction. I can do what I want. And I don’t know about you guys, but I think I like it this way better! LOL
Have a comment to make about this story? Do so in the Trip Fan Fiction forum at the HoTBBS!
A whole mess of folks have made comments
Liked it a lot.
That was so sweet...It may not end up this way on the show, but it should!!! Nice work! What a way to start the day!
I totally love this story !!!!
YAYYY!!!! LOL... Oh thank you, thank you, thank you. Triplover that was wonderful. It may not end up like this, but I think it was THE CURSOR who said that fanfiction allows us to write the show the way we want it to happen. That was fantastic. A pleasure to read.
just a sweet dream, wish it come true !
Yay! I love a happy ending!
Loved it! It was beautiful. I went "Awww" too many times to count!
This was lovely, and their toasts at the end finished the story off a treat. Well done and thank you! Ali D :~)
Missing words.Its just?????????
loved it, sorry to see them leave Enterprise
Heck--I sure hope it'll go this way, and they get to stay on the ship. Wonderful read.
Wow That should happen on the show.
Oh My Gosh! that was one of the best fanfics I've read! I even cried at parts!Loved it write more.
Beautiful! You have put so much emotion in so few words. It's amazing. I don't believe many people could have written the bond any better than you just did, and I hope the writers can handle it as well as you.