Reasons
Reasons
By: yas
Rating: G
Disclaimer: I if did own them, they would already be happily ever after. But sadly I do not. (Sigh).
Email: yas19@aol.com
Spoilers: “Home,” “E2”
A/N: Warning more sadness with some sprinkles of sunshine, that is, if I did it right. While I was reading a thread someone mentioned that T’Pol got strength from Trip. Suffice it to say I saw her point, and as I watched the ep. for the 20th time. LOL. T’Pol said something that stood out on that mount. And off to my computer I went.
Oh, yeah. Thanks everyone for your reviews of my last story. I’m new to writing so it’s helpful.
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"Trip I have to do this, for many reasons….."
"And how am I supposed to take this?
"I’m sorry. I -"
"You’re sorry, you brought me 16 light years just to watch you get married to someone you barely know?"
As our last shared words play across my mind, I wonder if he will attend the ceremony. My mother goes to inform him; the family of my betrothed has arrived.
The pace of my heart quickens at the sight of him. He looks quite pleasing in my father’s robes. The scene produces a flood of memories.
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"You've hardly changed, Mother."
"I beg your pardon?"
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"Who's the father?"
"Commander Tucker."
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"Have you spent any time talking to Lorian?"
"Not really."
"You should. He seems like a good kid."
"He's hardly a ‘kid.’ He's more than a hundred years old."
"Only in the Expanse could I have a son who's nearly three times my age. Who would've thought, you and me, huh? Lorian says we're going to be married in a traditional Vulcan ceremony. It's gonna take me weeks to learn to pronounce the vows. You know where we're going to have our honeymoon? Cargo Bay Three! He says I'll fill it up with sand that we dug up from a passing asteroid. I'm even supposed to... I'm even supposed manufacture a palm tree."
"It's ridiculous to assume those events are going to happen. Hand me the flux coupler."
"Aren't you at all curious about how you and I are supposed to end up together?"
"The fact that our counterparts married doesn't mean we'll do the same."
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The memory causes me…pain.; the path not taken. My chest heaves uncontrollably. Once again I struggle for a control that eludes me.
"You look, amazing." He says breathlessly.
My Vulcan mate would never make such a statement. His words have a pleasing affect on me; not unlike that of a caress. I meet his eyes, and all the ‘noble and honorable’ reasons for my decision, flee. They pale in the sight of his silent sorrow; accompanied by a depth of strength for which I know not the origin.
His manner amazingly resembles that of a Vulcan. He is devoid of the anger displayed on Mount Tar’hanna. His strength is astounding. The only evidence of feeling; his eyes, they scream of a pain that he will not allow to touch his facial features.
I have hurt him. It was not my intention to do so. I invited him to my home. The implications of such an act are beyond what I am able to acknowledge. I do know that I desired for him to see my home, knowing that he lost his; I felt a need to offer him my own, this place where I spent my childhood years… growing and being shaped by my mother and father, in the traditions of my people. Something inside me yearns for him to know and understand me…it always has. But now the sound of its voice is loud and commanding.
I take a deep breath in a failed attempt to present a mask of calm. My voice
betrays me…my emotional state is evident. "I am grateful that you are here."
"I wouldn’t miss it for the world," is his loyal reply. I gaze into his eyes, they are, by some unknown means a life line for me. Calm takes over, I draw from his strength.
The last gong sounds, my mother announces, "It is time."
He steps back; my mother and the priests enter. Trip turns to follow. I am inclined to show him a display of affection; in appreciation of his stout support. I decide on a kiss which by definition is: to touch or caress with the lips as an act of affection, in greeting or….in parting. However my own culture views such as near the apex of…
I tell myself the Vulcan translation is irrelevant. ‘ Trip is human; therefore the human understanding will suffice’ is my quick rationalization.
I move quickly, reaching out to stop him. My hand slides down his arm to rest in his moist palm; his pulse beats rapidly in perfect harmony with my own. I have no time to ponder its meaning. I turn and place my gift on his check. A surge of familiar; unnamed emotions rush through me. The prominent one, loss not unlike what I experienced in the expanse, yet somehow sharper and deeper. Moving forward I don’t look back, for doing so will shatter my resolve.
I mentally repeat my reasons for going through with this, arrangement in what humans call a ‘mantra’. I do what I must in the tradition of my people. I will fulfill my betrothal to Koss and while here I will receive treatment for my illness as agreed. I will over see my mother’s reinstatement. I sacrifice my right to choose a mate. Then I will return home, to Enterprise, for as long as time allows.
I face Koss and kneeling before the priest, we touch fingers; I am numb to him; as it should be. I have nothing to give him. For there has indeed been a change. My Vulcan heart and my Vulcan soul are in the possession… of a human.
THE END
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A whole mess of folks have made comments
On 29 October 2004 at 07:28 PM Aeryn10 said:
My Vulcan heart and my Vulcan soul are in the possession… of a human.
Wow... beautifully written!
I really like T'Pol's POV. She knows Trip like no other.
Sigh...
;-) On 29 October 2004 at 08:13 PM boushh said:
Wow! Nicely done! :) On 29 October 2004 at 09:05 PM Alison M. DOBELL said:
Oh wow, make me cry why don't you? Poor Trip. Poor honour-bound T'Pol. Beautifully written but so sad. Denial is not just a river in Africa... Ali D :~) On 29 October 2004 at 09:07 PM ladydi said:
excellent short story! On 29 October 2004 at 10:22 PM Jenna said:
*sighs* God this is heartbreaking. On 30 October 2004 at 04:06 PM plumtuckered said:
Beautiful! That last line was perfect! Thank you! On 30 October 2004 at 04:07 PM Lee said:
powerful short story I liked seeing T'POl's point of view.Great insight into Trip I Hope you'll write more stories please. On 31 October 2004 at 04:24 AM tracy-thecubednag said:
oh very nice final bit. the entire inner reflection so enjoyable. ohhhhh t'pol will get treatment?!!??!
cool.
nicely done. On 31 October 2004 at 04:50 AM sluttyslayer said:
"My Vulcan heart and my Vulcan soul are in the possession… of a human."
You can say that again! She has been shagged, and tagged... paws off, chubby hubby! On 02 November 2004 at 02:52 AM Sash said:
Beautifully done -- sad and hopeful at the same time. I will definitely be watching for more stories from you! On 06 November 2004 at 07:01 PM DestinyGirl said:
"You can say that again! She has been shagged, and tagged... paws off, chubby hubby!"
Amen, sister!:)
Couldn't have said it better myself.
Great job. Very touching.
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