A Matter of Choice- pt 2

A Matter of Choice

The Watch Stander

AN: This is for Allison who wanted Trip to be happy, Sara and Rocky who asked for more and all the rest of T&T shippers.

Spoilers for “Similitude.”

Part 2

Unforeseen Consequences

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Sim’s plan to run away slowly dissolved before him, there was no place to go and dying alone in the shuttle was not an option he would choose. Therefore, he waited for Archer to find him in the shuttle bay, knowing he would eventually come looking for him. What other choice did Archer have?

After all, I’m all he has left to use to save his friend.

In the end though, it was really up to Sim to decide. Archer had left it at that, unable to carry out the threat he had made and force Sim to go through with it.

Maybe I remind him of Trip so much, that it would be like killing his friend.

I feel sorry for him and ask him to tell Trip to watch out for himself. I can see the relief in Archer’s eyes, when he realized...I meant it and planned on helping. It took away that mantle of grief from his shoulders and gave him new hope.

Sim left the shuttle area and went back to his quarters to wait for the time when he would be needed and to spend the time that was left, alone, thinking about everyone and everything.

Archer had come by unexpectedly and brought Porthos to keep Sim company. It was a thoughtful gesture and he remembered how exhausted Archer now looked. All this must have been tearing him apart inside.

Finally, it was time to leave and he reluctantly left Porthos on the bed. The dog wagged his tail as Sim petted him one last time. Somehow, it seemed that Porthos was the only one on Enterprise that didn’t want or expect anything from him. He was just content to be with Sim.

T’Pol had surprised him, coming to see him at the very last moment. There was sadness in her eyes that spoke volumes of how she felt. At that very moment, he really didn’t mind if it was for him or Trip, only that she had come to say goodbye. She had kissed him and that made it all right, knowing that she at least had given him something to believe in, that she cared for him, Trip, or maybe even both of them.

Inside he knew how he felt about her and maybe Trip felt the same. Sim would do this for her, knowing it would make her happy having Trip back.

He would make this sacrifice for both her and Lizzie. It was the right thing to do.

It would mean ending his life early, but then, all he had left was a few more days.

In the end, I would be just as dead.

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When Trip first awoke he couldn’t remember what had happened, then finally it all came back to him, falling from the railing and landing on his back striking his head.

Jon and Phlox were both here at his bedside glad to see him.

Jon’s face showed so much emotion on it that it was painful for even Trip to see. The captain was unshaven and looked like he hadn’t slept in a week. It was so unlike him to be this way that it made Trip wonder what had happened while he had been unconscious.
Jon had drawn a chair up to Trip’s bedside and proceeded to tell him what had gone on while he was in the coma.

From that moment on Trip’s world was turned upside down, for nothing would ever be the same.

The next day he had attended the funeral surrounded by his engineering dept and was joined there by Travis and Hoshi who drew protectively close to him. He was glad of their company as it gave him the strength to be there. T’Pol as first officer was near the casket with Malcolm and the honor guard.

Trip hadn’t seen the body, for they had removed it from sickbay before he had awoken. He had no idea what Sim even looked like, until now.

Standing here now he had a full view of Sim in the coffin and the face that stared back at him was his!

It came as such a shock that his legs had felt weak and if it hadn’t been for Hoshi grabbing his hand and arm to give support, he probably would have fainted. Somehow, he got through it and stayed till the very end. He even watched as the casket was shot into space, feeling like a piece of him went with it.

What that piece was he didn’t know, only that he would somehow miss it. For Sim had his memories, but he also had his own from the past week and Trip would never know what they were. Sim had been here with his friends and had made them care. It made Trip feel like he had missed out on something.

John’s eulogy alone spoke volumes of the respect everyone felt for Sim and how he had made the supreme sacrifice for all.

Trip felt like Jon was talking about him and if things had been different he would be in that coffin and not Sim. His eyes started to water as he listened and he had to look down at his feet to regain control over his emotions. Every word going through him like a knife knowing this person had died to save him.

For now he had to live with what had happened and it was a heavy burden on his heart, for he could tell that everyone had liked Sim.

People still came up to him and told him how glad they were that he had come out of his coma. It made him wonder,

Who do they see standing here, me or …Sim?

It was something he was going to have to live with and accept for there was no going back.

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T’Pol saw Trip at the funeral and it was the first time she had seen him since he had come out of his coma, for she had been in charge of ship’s repairs and hadn’t had time to visit him. His face had looked pale and drawn and he seemed lost.

How would she react when she finally faced him, she didn’t know. Her Vulcan discipline could hide her feelings from others, but her heart would know what those feelings were and she couldn’t hide them from herself.

They had buried Sim that day, and his sacrifice was well noted, but what was the cost of that to the man who stood across the room, utterly lost and confused by it all. Listening to a eulogy that might have been his if, they hadn’t intervened.

Later that day she called him and asked him to come to her quarters for a session. When he tried to say no she insisted and finally he had agreed to come. His voice was soft and his tone not the usual cheerful one she had come to know, but she was glad to hear it anyway. Thankful that he was back in her world and not in that casket that was now in space.

Now she knew how Captain Archer had felt when faced with losing this man forever.

She would have done anything to save him.

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He stood outside T’Pol’s door hesitating to ring the door chime. He didn’t know how he felt about all that had happened, never mind how other people felt about him. T’Pol was the one person he knew he could count on. One of her best qualities was her strength and conviction and he needed that now. He needed someone he could trust, so he rang the chime and held his breath hoping she would be glad to see him.

T’Pol heard the chime and composed herself, but her heart was racing , but she couldn’t control that. She managed to say ‘come in,’ with what she hoped was a normal voice, one that didn’t give away the fact that she was having trouble controlling her feelings knowing that he would soon be standing before her.

He entered and there stood the man she knew once again as Commander Tucker.

His blue eyes were the same blue as Sim’s, but different. That was a maturity in them that Sim’s had lacked and there was also a depth of feeling that came with that maturity. All of Sim’s feelings and innocence were also part of this man that stood before her, looking so lost that it made her heart ache for him. They had been there all along, but kept hidden by him so none could see that vulnerability.

Something else had been hidden and was now there for her to see if she wanted to.

He had expected to see the stoic Vulcan that was always so reserved before him in the doorway. To his surprise he found T’Pol looking at him with her beautiful eyes studying his, seeming to look into his soul and finding his most hidden feelings exposed there for her to see.

There was something else in her eyes as well and he knew it was for him. Inside he rejoiced and then smiled as he suddenly realized what that something was…

She cared for him.

Suddenly, she was reaching for his hand and leading him inside, and as he looked in her eyes he knew that things from this day forward would never be the same.

They would be better, at least in their world.

Trip reached for her and she came to him as the door closed behind them….

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A handful of people have made comments

Ah, that was lovely! I was hoping and praying you were not going to drown Trip in angst, the poor chap has had so much of it piled on his head. I loved it that he and T'Pol seem to be taking a further step in their relationship. I hope you have more planned, Ali D :~)

Hmm, you probably could have turned this chapter into an angsty piece, but I like it this way. I like that T'Pol was solving problems, rather than avoiding them. Always messier that way.

Loved Trip and T'Pol's moment of understanding there. So refreshing, that neither one of them had to come out and say "I care about you." New spin to things, very nice!

Hope there's more to come!

Sooo sweet. You know she wants to jump his bones.

Good ol' T'Pol to the rescue

Yay! That was fantasic. I love the way you've explored a beginning to their relationship.