Forever Lost

Forever Lost

By The Watch Stander

Rating: PG-13, Angst, drama
Disclaimer: Paramount Owns Enterprise and all of its crew. The wonderful interpretation of these characters is owned by the cast of Enterprise. The fun of writing this story about these characters is owned by me and is no way intended to infringe on any of these rights and is done without payment or profit on my part.
Summary: May be seen as a sequel to He Walks With Shadows in the Night

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Trip hurriedly pushed the door chime on the outside of T’Pol’s quarters and tried to catch his breath. He had practically run here from the turbo lift on the other end of the corridor.

She’s gonna kill me, I’m already a half hour late.

It bothered him that he had worked right up till 21:00 and past, he was supposed to be at T’Pol’s by 21:00. Sighing, he tried to regain his composure. The warp core was not cooperating, and it had needed tweaking to get it back running efficiently. Trip knew he was the only one who could do it so he had stayed, well past the end of his shift and the dinner hour. It was strange though, he didn’t feel hungry, just upset that he was late after promising T’Pol that he would be here for their session.

He needed to calm down; I don’t want her to see me this way.

There was also the fact that he really needed a shower, but as in times past, he didn’t have time to take one. Sighing again he prepared to beg off until another night when he wasn’t so exhausted or dirty.

The door opened and T’Pol was there, her expression unreadable and Trip found himself stuttering through his apology.

“I’m sorry, the warp core was really out of sync and I needed to stay and get it straightened out.”

It sounded weak even to his ears.

T’Pol ushered him in with a sweep of her hand. She was wearing the blue silk robe that he had seen before.

“It’s doesn’t matter Commander, we can still go through several of the lessons.”

Her voice sounded husky, but Trip decided he was imagining it. After taking off his shirt, he knelt down on one of the pillows that had been placed on the floor. The room was barely lit making the atmosphere more subdued.

Trip felt himself relaxing and wasn’t sure whether it was from fatigue or the quiet atmosphere of T’Pol’s quarters. It provided him with a safe heaven from all the turmoil of the day.

T’Pol had knelt down opposite him and was arranging her robe around her legs. Trip watched, her delicate features were even more pronounced in the subdued lighting, with the reflection of the candle dancing off her face. When she looked at him, he could see that same flame reflected in her eyes.

It was mesmerizing and something inside him stirred, a feeling of warmth and gratitude that someone was taking the time to help him through his pain. Closing his eyes, he tried relaxing.

Her fingers came forward and touched his face gently. The sudden personal touch sent a shock through his system, but it soothed him as well.

I’m just so tired of it all, Lizzy’s death, the expanse, Jon and everyone on edge.

She was whispering to him in a soothing tone, he couldn’t make out the words, but he felt himself responding by relaxing all over.

When her hands traveled down his back making his skin tingle as they worked down the vertebra, the sensation made him swallow with pleasure.

We’ve never done this discipline before...

Then her fingers were on his arms gentling traveling down to his hands that she gently grasped and placed one on each side of her rib cage.

Trip’s mouth opened in surprise, this definitely had never happened before. Feeling himself becoming swept up in the heat of the moment he opened his eyes to find her now naked, the robe fallen around her.

What was happening? It was bewildering, why was she doing this?

When he looked in her eyes, he saw the candle flame still reflected in them and her mouth half open teasing him with whispered words of passion. Her hands were now on his chest gently caressing him. Responding, he began running his hands down her back as well.

This isn’t right! Last time she lectured me on sexual advances, and here she is doing just that!

He knew then that he should leave before it went too far, but he didn’t want to.

Something inside him craved the attention and all the sensations that she was making him experience. Too many weeks in space, alone and unhappy and too much had happened in those weeks, leaving him empty inside and craving companionship.

She slowly leaned forward and kissed his forehead; then with half closed eyes she traveled down his face barely touching each eyelid with her lips. The effect on him was shocking; slowly he pulled her toward him placing a hand gently on the side of her face. He desperately wanted to leave, but he couldn’t, he was trapped by those eyes that reflected passion and a desire for him.

This shouldn’t be happening….

Things were progressing so fast, that he found himself falling into the abyss of no return, drawn by her caresses and promises of passion to come.

Sighing, unable to contain the feeling any longer he started to do something he had wanted to do for a very long time. Pulling her closer, he started to lean forward to kiss her and she came to him willingly and invited him to, by titling her head and half closing her eyes.

He could feel her body against his and the feeling was electric making him desire her all the more.

When his mouth found hers, he fell into the abyss, never to come back...

He awoke with a start, disoriented and not sure where he was.

For a moment, he could still feel her lips on his and her hands on his body. It took a full minute for the sensations to leave...

Running his hand through his hair, he discovered he was in his own quarters. Alone. He glanced at the clock and could see the time 06:30, almost time to get up for his shift.

Lying back against the pillows, he tried to sort through what had happened.

It was all a dream….

He remembered leaving engineering last night and coming directly to his quarters after calling T’Pol and promising to make it another night.

He swallowed, it had seemed so real!

After lying there for a few more moments, he finally got out of bed and went to take a shower.

Somehow, he could still feel the touch of her hands on his skin and it left him feeling empty inside.

He finished dressing, and then looked in the mirror at the reflection of his face.

All he saw reflected there was a sad and lonely young man, an empty shell that needed a soul, but couldn’t seem to find it.

Taking a deep breath, he put a neutral expression on his face to hide his pain behind.

He couldn’t erase the dark circles under his eyes that gave away the fact, that exhausting was now a constant companion.

The dreams of a certain shadow that came calling in the night to taunt him with promises of passion that he could never have, had added another companion.

Wearily, he left his quarters to begin his shift.

And they followed...

End

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Half a dozen of you have made comments

This was so sad - poor Trip! Nicely written, you made me feel for him.

Oooh. That one got to me, in a good way. *sigh* The woes of unrequited love.

Beautiful! I loved the "And they followed" at the end. Very well done! Thank you!

That's so sad. Very well written and poetic! I hope you write a sequel. Perhaps sometime his dreams can catch up to him...

Oh wow, this was powerful stuff and entirely believable but I don't want to see our boy sad, consumed by an inward eating sorrow that has no hope. I hope you will write more and we will find that another little lost soul is also looking for a home. This one with little pointy ears and an arched eyebrow. Great writing, pass the tissues... Ali D :~)

Nice! I wish it wasn't a dream. "sniff"