Attraction- Part 5

Attraction
An "Enterprise" story

Written by Alison M. DOBELL

RATING: PG-13
ARCHIVE: Yes. Just let me know where.
FEEDBACK: Welcomed
EMAIL: AlisonMDobell@aol.com
WEBSITE: http://carlajane.50megs.com/Ali00.html

SUMMARY: "Sub-Commander T'Pol finds a way to Commander Tucker but finds it is fraught with difficulties of another kind."
Disclaimer: The usual disclaimers apply. The characters and 'Enterprise' are the property of Paramount. No infringement of copyright is intended.

Part Five

"ALL IN THE MIND"

* * * * *

Ensign Hoshi Sato tried everything she could think of but Lieutenant Reed was not responding. His eyes had that haunted look she had come to hate. His voice dull, movements lethargic. She wanted to shake him only she could not do it. His pain so palpable it hurt to look at him but it hurt more to look away.

"Malcolm," She said gently. "You have to eat something."

He stared down at the table, not seeing the food, his thoughts elsewhere. On some vague level he was aware that she was trying to help but it did not penetrate. He felt unworthy. A failure. Hoshi looked up as Travis Mayweather came over to join them. A swift look of worry passed between him and Hoshi. "Mind if I join you?"

When Lieutenant Reed made no response Hoshi nodded. Travis sat down on the other side of Malcolm and tried to keep the worry out of his voice. He babbled away about minutae for a few minutes, his kind eyes straying to take in the Armoury Officer's rigid frame. He felt like the background music in shopping malls. Everyone was aware of it but nobody listened. After ten minutes he trailed off. Not knowing quite what to say. Hoshi gave him a small grateful smile anyway and put a hand out to touch Malcolm’s hand where it rested on the table. He looked up and stared at her. Distraught. "I failed, Hoshi."

"No, you didn't. You came back to us, so will Trip."

He shook his head, the movement dislodging tears. "You don't understand. It was *my* choice." His voice broke.

Hoshi shot Travis a look of alarm. She squeezed Malcolm’s hand. "What do you mean, your choice?"

He sniffed. "She asked me if I wanted to return to Enterprise. Without thinking I said of course I did then before I could qualify it I was back in sickbay."

"I don't understand why you think you did anything wrong."

He looked at her intently. His expression anguished. "Don't you? I *chose* Hoshi. I chose to leave Trip. Now he's all alone with no way back. I should have stayed to help him. At least he wouldn't have been alone."

She got up and crouched next to his chair. Tempted to put her arms around him only she knew how much he hated public displays of affection. "Malcolm, listen to me. You got out. You woke up. So will Trip."

He shook his head, crying hard now. His words punctuated by sobs. "You don't understand, he can't get out. Can't come back because she won't let him."

"She?"

"The entity. The thought form or whatever you want to call it."

Hoshi was confused. "What do *you* think is happening?"

He took out a handkerchief and blew his nose. Slowly he got a little control back. At least he had stopped crying. "I'm not going mad if that's what you're thinking."

"I wasn't. Were you thinking that Travis?"

Travis shook his head. "No. To be honest I'm just baffled."

The lieutenant nodded. He could understand that. Travis was pleased to see he looked a bit more alert. Malcolm sighed and looked down at the congealing rubbery mess that had been a pasta dish in another lifetime. So long ago. Slowly it came to him that there was only one thing he could do. Somehow or other, he had to find a way back.

* * * * *

*How is this possible, Trip?*

He shrugged, cradling her so gently in his arms. They watched the sunset together. *I don't know but do ya wanna hear somethin' funny?* She nodded against his shoulder. A smile curved his lips. He kissed her hair before continuing. His voice soft in her mind. A beautiful joyful resonance finding a home in her heart. *I'm happy here, T'Pol. Happy 'cause I'm with you.*

Even though she knew exactly what he meant, how he felt, she felt impelled to caution him. *We cannot stay here forever, Ashayam.*

*Ashayam?*

She dipped her head, suddenly self conscious. *It means beloved.*

His heart leapt. *I like that.*

*We have to go back to Enterprise, Trip.*

There was a long pained pause. He stared into the deepest hues of the sunset. Wanting to lose himself in its radiant depths but only if he could take T'Pol with him. *I don't think I wanna go back.*

The admission startled her. *You love being on Enterprise.*

*I know, I know.* He murmured, cuddling her close to his heart. Trying to put into words the fledgling feelings that soared and swept through him just to have her near. He inhaled her sweetness, absorbed her presence and found he lacked for nothing when she was with him. The air she breathed fed him more than any banquet. One look from her was worth all the stars in heaven. With a jolt he realised he really did love her. It was not lust. Not simply liking. It was deeper, stronger, more invasive and far reaching than that. How could he return if returning meant letting her go? The Vulcan High Command would not let her take a Human for a mate. And Starfleet would not allow any fraternisation between the ranks, more so when they were two different species. The political minefield of such a romance would be fraught with problems. No. Vested interests would see to it that they would not be allowed to be together. Yet neither did he want to go sneaking around and seeing her on the sly. He wanted to climb the highest peak of the highest mountain and declare his love for all the universe to hear. But that was not his right. Not if they went back. Other people would dictate how they could lead their lives.

T'Pol turned in his arms so that she could face him. Her small hand raised to touch his face. Her eyes fixed on his. Such a wealth of emotion in that immobile mask. The eyes taking him deep inside her soul, her heart opening before him, her thoughts cradling his with such love. Such tenderness. She did not want to hurt him but neither could she let him hide away in this sanctuary. Sooner or later his body would wither away and die no matter how many nutrients Dr Phlox pumped into it intravenously. Going back was not an option, it was the only logical course of action open to them. The salient point was not just how it would be achieved but when. She could give him time but could not promise a future. He knew it without her saying it. Their thoughts for once silent in a shared grief. It felt odd to mourn something that had not yet died. He held her so tenderly then felt her lips touch his. The kiss slowly deepening. Tears coursing down his cheeks as they merged. He tasted something scented and spicy, such a delicate flavour. As the kiss ended he realised it was her tears.

In silence they turned and sat together to watch the sunset. All the colours bleeding together like their emotions. Hearts and minds at one. Joined by a love that transcended all borders. All divisions. All prejudices. In all of creation nothing was stronger or more glorious than love. *Why then,* thought Trip, *was it so fragile?*

* * * * *

It was Captain Archer's voice that propelled Lieutenant Reed into more mundane action. Quickly he left the sickbay just as he had entered it to check on his friend. Wondering at the anxious note in the Captain's voice. Why did he want him to go to the Commander's room when everyone knew he was still in sickbay? Nothing made sense but an order was an order. Checking the charge in his phase pistol he picked up a couple of his armoury officers and found the Captain waiting for him. He looked strained and somewhat grim faced. Lieutenant Reed felt confused. "Sir? If I may ask, what are we doing at Commander Tucker's quarters?"

The Captain appeared somewhat distracted. "I got suspicious when she didn't show up for her duty shift. She's *never* late..."

"Who, Sir?"

The Captain continued as if he had not spoken. "I let it slide for the first fifteen, twenty minutes, then I commed her quarters."

"Who are we talking about, Captain?"

Captain Archer blinked owlishly at him. As if the lieutenant were being dense. "Sub-Commander T'Pol."

"Oh." He was still bewildered. "Sir, this is Commander Tucker's quarters."

"I know that, Lieutenant." Snapped the Captain. He paused, took a deep breath, then continued in a steadier tone. Much to Lieutenant Reed's relief. "I had Ensign Sato do a check to see where she was. The scans indicate she's in Commander Tucker's quarters."

Lieutenant Reed's eyebrows rose to meet his hairline but it was his only outward display of shock. What would she be doing in Trip's quarters? He did not speculate. Something in the Captain's eyes warned against further inquiry. He took over immediately, the consummate professional. His voice the crisp steady assurance of an authority regularly born. "Right then let's get this door open and find out what's going on."

A quick input of the over ride code and the door swished open. It was dark inside. Dark and silent. Lieutenant Reed paused, the Captain so close to his shoulder that he could feel the man's breath on his neck. Quickly he put the lights on and stepped right inside. He stopped suddenly, the Captain slamming into the back of him. His officers hesitating to follow. Captain Archer looked stunned. "T'Pol?"

The Sub-Commander was lying on Commander Tucker's bed. Flat on her back, eyes closed. Seemingly in a deep sleep but they all knew by now how unnatural such a sleep could be. Lieutenant Reed was reminded of Goldilocks and the Three Bears except there was no porridge and only one bunk. He was shaken out of his reverie by the Captain pushing passed him and going over to check on the Sub-Commander. Lieutenant Reed stepped up to the com. "Dr. Phlox? Can you please come to Commander Tucker's quarters right away!"

* * * * *

He knew she was leaving. Had known the moment she arrived. Her grief was no less palpable for being unstated. Still waters really *did* run deep, he reflected. *I cannot stay, Trip.*

*I know.*

She paused, a hand raised to brush his cheek. Her eyes sad. An apology written in oils could not have said more. *I do not want to leave you.*

*Then don.'t*

*I have no choice.*

He nodded. Framed her elfin face between his sensitive hands and gently kissed her. Not the lust of the body but the passion of the heart. She shuddered in his hands. Her soul crying out to join with him while other forces pulled on her. Tugged her back towards a physical universe that barely knew her name. Tears caught like glistening drops of rain in the deep wells of her eyes.

*What will happen to you, beloved?*

*Some kind of experiment, I guess.*

She looked alarmed. Her distant heart murmured anxiously beneath a forgotten breast. Her eyes held his, almost pleading. *Come, before it is too late.*

The tears were in his words. *I can't.*

She struggled. Oh, how she struggled. But the many coloured light was fractured now. A broken prism she could not fix. If only she had the gifted hands of an engineer. She sobbed. Her throat catching on the unusual display of emotion. Her logic breaking down to more primal feelings. *I will not give him up.*

Another voice intruded on her disordered mind as he faded from her. His presence seeping like a fine mist through her hands. The entity found it easy to enter the chaotic structure of the Vulcan mindset now that her safeguards had been breached. There was no longer any sign of the Commander. Yet the megallanic cloud persisted. Mocking every sunset he had ever known. *You love him.*

It was a statement. Neither warm nor cold. A factual declaration she could not deny but would not share. Silence was her last refuge. Temper simmered while her heart wept. T'Pol felt the stir of air become cooler. A more solid presence which still defied her eyes. *Who are you? Show yourself!*

The entity seemed amused but did not oblige. *Have a care Vulcan, you are in my domain.*

Logic began to slot back into the measured path of her thoughts. With it came a slow return of mental control. *You are the reason he is here, aren't you?*

Silence.

*What do you want with Commander Tucker?*

*That is not your concern. Why do you care? He is Human, you are Vulcan. You distain his species.*

*Yet I detect emotion, Vulcan.*

A trace of fear outlined each heartbeat, as if fabricated as a copy to her own. A subtle deceit to rob her of the breath of life. Was she really in danger here? In this between place? *Vulcans have emotions just like other sentient beings.*

*Yet you choose to obfuscate. To hide behind those feelings. Does your remote nature make you feel superior, Vulcan?*

Sub-Commander T'Pol could feel her anger rising. Tried to control it. She could not afford to be manipulated by such loss of control now. She did not want the Commander to suffer because she lacked the knowledge to defeat his foe. T'Pol heard a light tinkling sound and the air around her shimmered making her vision blur. As if something intangible and formless had stirred the air with another sight. Something that challenged her perceptions yet had no name. She blinked to regain focus and almost took a step back. Before her now was something akin to a female form but there was something wayward and androgynous about it. *Who are you?*

The entity seemed amused. The quality of voice beginning to sound more male than female yet with that ambiguity that was unsettling. *Who not what? That is hardly logical.*

*Toy with me all you wish but you will release the Commander.*

That amused her so much. *Release? I am not holding him.*

*We will take him.*

Laughter trickled like water from many sources. Building into a cacophony that T'Pol found painful to her acute hearing. The entity let it die away then seemed to solidify a little more as her thoughts became more focused on the Vulcan. *What is this Human to you?*

*He is my colleague.*

The entity seemed to drift a little nearer. *What is this Human to you, Vulcan?*

T'Pol blinked to refresh the liquid in her dark fathomless eyes. Emotions trapped deep within. Where all her secrets lay. *He is my friend.*

Another step and the entity was less than two feet from the Vulcan. T'Pol still could not determine accurately the gender. One moment female, the next male, the next an indeterminate echo of 'something'. Not hermaphrodite surely? But close. Yes. Close. *I ask for the last time: what is the Human to you?*

There seemed to be little air reaching her lungs. It was warm. Too warm. Pearly tears of sweat pooled on her face. Her skin became too tight for her body. Her heart labouring. Her thoughts colliding with each other in a dull scramble to make sense. Had she been drugged? Was this entity poisoning her with archaic thoughts? The impulse forced her to form words she would have died to keep sacred. *I love him.*

A little ease of the strain allowed her to breathe. Her heartbeat to steady. Thoughts were still the embodiment of chaos theory. Yet emotions now bled through. A sense that she had given this being an advantage in an unequal war. A war she could not win. Panic teased the edge of her consciousness with a cold fire that was both brutal and empty. Filled with the yawning chasm of future loss. The present mattered not at all while it lay in the dispassionate casual cruelty of the non-being. Only one thing was worst to her than losing the slowly emerging relationship between herself and the Commander. And that was to lose to this creature. This smiling, shifting, pit of despair that opened before her and threatened to swallow everything that was precious to her whole. She had to stop the being. But how did you unmake the darkness? How do you touch the formless? Had she rushed only to come too late to rescue him from oblivion? The entity seemed amused.

*He will not die.*

T'Pol did not believe it. The unspoken thought was examined at critical length by the entity in the space of a single heartbeat.

*Your disbelief is not fact. Nor can your passion make my tolerance the evil you apprehend.*

*Let him go.*

*I have not yet finished with him but you. You I will release.*

Another kind of panic filled her now. He would be alone. Unable to protect himself from this being. Unable to find his way out. *No. Let me stay.*

*That is not the whole truth.*

A pause before admitting it. *You know the whole truth.*

There was a pause. Something subtle altered but T'Pol did not know what it was. *I could end his breath.*

*What is it you want?*

*All beings are unique.*

That amused the entity. *From a Vulcan that is high praise.*

T'Pol fell silent knowing she was being mocked. Weary beyond words. Sorrowing while she sought a means to elicit some advantage however small. Even if she and Trip were not destined to be together she could not fail him. Not now.

*Do you wish to observe?*

She was surprised by the unexpected question. Felt a slow building sense of horror. Dread creeping into her soul at what this entity might do. Was it using Trip as a diversion? Playing with him? Was it playing with them? She kept her thoughts calm, centered, and enunciated the single word with care. *Observe?*

The entity now looked fully masculine but it had a model's grace. There was something eerily unnatural about it. The voice had taken on a new vocal register, the eyes glittered softly. Glossy black pearls in a face made pale like the milk of moonlight. Only there was no moon and no oyster to birth the pearls that now glittered with dark promise. If T'Pol had believed in the Devil she would have found its' mirror image in this one's eyes.

* * * * *

Dr. Phlox was getting frustrated at having his sickbay continually taken over. The Captain was getting more and more anxious. Hovering over the Sub-Commander and generally getting in the way. Lieutenant Reed seemed torn between his concern for the comatose Chief Engineer and the new burden of care he bore for the Vulcan. The Denobulan's patience finally snapped.

"I must *insist* you all leave this instant - and that, regrettably, includes you too Captain!"

Lieutenant Reed jerked his head at his men and retreated with a mumbled and barely coherent apology. Captain Archer stood next to T'Pol's biobed and refused to budge. His eyes held a stubborn look. Dr. Phlox barely managed to hide a sigh of frustration. "Captain, I must insist."

"And so must I. I appreciate thatyou are just trying to do your job, doctor. So am I."

"How can your job entail preventing me doing mine?"

Captain Archer took in a stilted breath. The doctor could see how ragged his breathing was. How little control he clung to. Relenting slightly he fetched a chair and passed it to the Captain. "If you insist on staying at least sit down before you fall down. I am beginning to run out of biobeds."

He was a given a weak smile back in thanks. Vaguely he was aware of the doctor's movements but it was getting hard to take anything in except the wan face of his first officer. He closed his eyes momentarily. Would this nightmare never end? It was bad enough to lose Trip to unknown forces without losing the Sub-Commander as well. His eyes flicked open. The doctor was carefully scanning T'Pol from head to toe. He watched idly, his thoughts exploring a tangle of emotions that interfered with the easy passage of breath into his lungs. He realised with a partly suppressed shudder that he had feelings for the Vulcan. Wanted her to choose to be with him and yet she had gone to Trip's quarters. They had found her lying on his bed for God's sake! He forced himself to calm down, to take deep even breaths. To not read more into this than there was. But what if it was true? What if her feelings were for his friend and not himself? How would he cope with that? Could he step aside and let that happen? Or would he pull rank to stop it? Was either option a morally accepted route to take? Or was she concerned only as a colleague? A friend?

He felt dizzy. Head spinning. He had not slept properly since it had first happened. Now it seemed as if he would be losing random members of his crew. But would they come back like Malcolm or would they be trapped in sleep like Trip? He tried to think of a way out of this predicament but everything was becoming a dense fog. Thinking was so hard it was like an Olympic event. Staying awake was even harder. Dr. Phlox noticed his condition and decided to let nature take its' course. He made the Sub-Commander comfortable then turned away to check on the Commander. He had the distinct feeling that the solution lay with Commander Tucker. Not with an inflamed Captain, nor a cool but loyal Vulcan. Nor with an anxious and guilt ridden Lieutenant Reed. He looked down at the sleeping Chief Engineer. His expression thoughtful. Watching the pale face. Noting the rapid eye movements beneath the Commander's eyelids that denoted he was dreaming. He checked the monitors carefully and gave a light shake of his head. His voice low and cordial. Barely above a whisper even though he knew it was highly unlikely that the Commander could even hear him. "Why do these things always have to happen to you, Commander?"

* * * * *

Continue to Part 6

Return to Part 4

Return to Attraction menu page.

Back to Fan Fiction Main Menu

Have a comment to make about this story? Do so in the Trip Fan Fiction forum at the HoTBBS!

Four of you have made comments

Wow, Ali D!!! This is getting better and better. And what a treat - 2 chapters in one day! Can't wait for the next bit.

How I wish that you wrote for the real show! I could visualize the sunset and feel both Trip and T'pol's emotions. And I agree with zealousgirl - what a treat to have 2 chapters in one day. You've spoiled me now. I expect the next chapter tomorrow!

best part so far. the richness of your descriptions is very nice.

what is going on??!!!!

Oh Jon!

This is another excellent story by you. Keep up the great writing.